After blocking the drain, I went to the bathroom and pumped some cool water into the sink. Taking a deep breath, I dunked my face into the frigid water and gasped as I pulled myself back out. I brushed my soaked bangs from my face and took a few more deep breaths as I grabbed the nearby towel and dabbed myself dry. The shock from the freezing water did wonders at snapping me awake as I pulled the towel away and looked at myself in the mirror.
Messy ass hair, though my cute face doesn't look dead anymore. Making progress!
Knowing that my mother would make such a fuss about my hair. I decided to take the time to brush it. Ever since becoming a girl, I've learned to hate the tedium that is hair maintenance. Originally, when I learned of my abrupt and new gender identity, I thought that I would give long hair a shot. Back in my prior life as a man, I had two forms of hair.
One, no hair, as every summer I shaved it all off and took on my Heisenberg persona.
Two, I grew it out to about past ear length. I usually did this around the winter.
My winter hair, while slightly long for a guy, was pretty easy to maintain. Bed heads weren't an issue, and usually, a quick shower and brush were all it took.
Yet now. With hair going down my back, first off, it's heavy. I feel like every time I bend over to look at something, gravity is just grabbing my hair and yanking me to the floor. Especially when it rains or after a bath. Maybe it's just because I'm not used to having hair this long. I wonder if there are any neck exercises I could do to make it easier.
Secondly, it can smell. Like, really bad. Now I know this is probably just because I don't bathe as much, or maybe I'm bathing wrong. But like, after days or nights of being outside with my brother and getting all sweaty, it can smell. Even after washing, I swear the smell just gets stuck. Whenever Mother washes my hair with me, she seems to be perfect at it.
Mental note: Gather Mother for some girl talk when things calm down about washing hair.
Yet a second idea came to mind.
My mother always had short hair. Why don't I just cut mine too? If I do that, I can join her on Team Tomboy. Yes, yes, I like this idea. Mother does seem to rock the look well so maybe I could too.
This could be a solution. Yet for now, I was stuck with the endless knots and curliness that refused to straighten out as I sat in my room for about ten or so minutes brushing. When I did finally get it to a state I could be satisfied with, I proceeded to get dressed. Which was thankfully not an issue due to Mother's help when she came in earlier. Ever since puberty 2.0 kicked in and my breasts began developing, the pain they brought me when changing was annoying, to say the least.
It's like a sore that doesn't go away until later in the evening. I also noticed some concerning markings—red spots and what look to be stretch marks—appearing around my bumps, though my mother said this is normal. I sure hope so. In my prior life, my great-grandmother had breast cancer.
Now that I think about… Does cancer even exist in this world of magic? If it is, is it even called cancer? Duh, no. That’s an English word. Diseases and such do exist. Varis and I got sick a couple of years ago. It was a horrible time. It was like the flu but worse. Not only did it make me and my brother bedridden and constantly puking, but it also made our muscles spasm. My mother called it “The Trembles.” I wondered why they didn’t just use magic to make it go away. Instead, they went to the physician's office in town and got normal medicine, which helped of course, but wouldn’t it have been easier to just poof it away?
Well, let's think about it like D&D. In that game some spells required components to cast which cost money. Maybe it’s the same thing here? Healing magic is probably expensive.
Anyway, I continued to change, and today I chose to go for something different and comfortable. I had asked my mother a while back about getting me some clothes that weren't just dresses and skirts. To my surprise, she seemed more than happy to provide. As Varis began to grow taller and taller, Mother modified some of his older pants and gave them to me.
I was shocked to see that I could fit this weathered pair of jeans. When looking at myself in the mirror as I pulled them on, I couldn't help but notice that my shape seemed a bit different than normal.
Am I getting fat? I wondered as I looked myself over, noticing some very faint curves forming and taking shape. I had grown taller over the past year, and now that I’m looking at myself… yes. I look like I’ve put on a little bit of weight. Nothing bad, quite frankly, it was nice. It was like my body was finally taking the shape it wanted. Once again my thoughts began to wander to what I would look like in ten years or so. I was taking heavily after my mother, almost an exact clone of her it seemed. I had a bit of my father in me too, such as his sharp eyebrows and nose. I mentally pictured myself looking like my mother but with my father’s height. The thought excited me, I was eager to reach that point. Unlike my last life, I didn’t want to squander the chance to work on my self-image. I wanted to be strong, confident and… very attractive.
For some reason, I felt wrong thinking that. Dirty. Is it wrong for me to be thinking bout stuff like that at my age? Realistically I’m an adult. Like, chronologically speaking I mean. I would be thirty-four back on earth. I would also be a guy. Yet, now I was a young girl trying on her brother’s clothes wondering how big her tits were going to be and how hot she wanted to become. God, I feel disgusting. It feels like I’m just making excuses to enjoy this…
I closed my eyes. Took a deep breath. You’re Luna, now. You aren’t “him,” you can be and enjoy whatever you want. I tried to tell myself, and while the dread in me was pushed away for now. I could feel it still lingering. Focus on the now. Let's have fun. I tried to cheer myself up.
Taking a deep breath I wiggled my hips and pulled the pants up my legs and then waist before buttoning them. I then looked back up at myself for a moment in the mirror and shifted as I kicked and wiggled my pants-covered legs before doing a twirl in the mirror and looking back at myself from over my shoulder.
It wasn’t bad. The pants were worn and a bit faded, but Mother did a good job refitting them. I could hardly tell they used to be my brother aside from the aged look. The material clung nicely and wasn’t too tight. Yet, something wasn’t right.
"This feels weird," I said out loud to no one in particular.
I haven't worn pants in how long. I thought. Years maybe. As a once avid pants wearer, this feels strange now. Mother had always had me wearing skirts or dresses. Or, well, I should clarify, that she hasn’t “made” me do anything. It’s just the clothes they had gotten for me. One more thing, I should state that I have worn pajama bottoms, but those don’t count as true pants to me. Unless you’re one of those folks that walk around in public wearing them, which hey, I used to do that too. But then after a few unwanted looks of judgment from people looking at my Star Wars pajama bottoms, I realized that maybe I shouldn’t. Perhaps I’m just a coward. No, I am. I’ll admit that.
Mother would absolutely kill me though if she saw me outside in my pajamas. So, I’ve stuck with skirts and dresses. Which honestly, are fantastic. I never knew how attached I’d become to feminine clothes. I’m not into the bright pinks and such, and thankfully mother and father were understanding of that. So I mainly wore cooler colors. Unlike these jeans, skirts were so much more liberating, and really never became too much of a hassle for me. It’s all about your loadout if I were to use video game terms.
You need to prep the right equipment. If you’re going out in the field, say a camping trip. You’ll need a suitable dress and skirt. Don’t go with the big frilly ones that drag on the ground. You’ll be catching all sorts of dirty things and snagging on every branch. So, go with a shorter, form-fitting outfit like I had. You get the freedom of movement, and it’s comfy. Just gotta think practically.
I never knew I’d be so into this. By that, I mean dressing up, or well, acting feminine. It’s really refreshing and it makes me happy, but, today I was feeling nostalgic. Also, I wanted to see how I look wearing boyish clothes, and well. These pants, while weird. I like it. I might actually be able to pull off the tomboyish look I was gunning for. Watch out, mother. Soon I’ll be the prettier tomboy!
I went to my dresser and pulled out one of the casual shirts that my mother got for me a few years ago. It was a bit small, but it would go well with the pants. So, I slipped into it. The alabaster fabric clung to me comfortably; it was a bit snug, but when looking in the mirror, I looked like a little farmer girl. All I was missing were some suspenders to go over my shoulders and a straw hat. I smirked at myself and giggled. I did another twirl as I looked myself over, admiring the simple yet comfortable outfit. The clothes clung to me comfortably, almost like a second skin as it ran over my growing form and shape. As I turned I stopped and blushed faintly as I noticed around my chest there was a subtle suggestion of my developing womanhood. My face turned a deep red and I spun away and went over to my bed and grabbed my boots before pulling them on as I tried to erase that image from my mind.
Why am I getting flustered over something so natural?! I shook my head again. Don’t think about it.
Once I was ready, I did a once-over on my hair again and went downstairs.
It was very early in the morning; Father was still snoring like a bear in his room, and as I passed by Varis's room, I could hear him snoring equally as loud. It’s like they’re having a snoring competition, I thought and giggled.
Downstairs, I could faintly smell coffee and cinnamon porridge. As I came down the stairs and into the living room, I turned to the kitchen and saw Isa, as usual, already awake and eating breakfast. I could also hear my mother working the range as the two of them talked softly as I approached them.
It was Isa who took note of me first. Her feline ears perked up and swiveled in my direction like two radar dishes as her eyes glanced up to meet mine. She squinted as I stopped and noticed her eyes scanning me from head to toe.
A big smile soon bloomed on her face, and the serelli glanced at my mother and said, "Cailynn, come look."
My mother appeared from around the corner, wearing a surprisingly similar get-up to myself. Though her shirt was gray, and her jeans were not as worn down, she held in her hands a washcloth she was using to wipe her hands off, and her eyebrow raised upon seeing me.
I blushed deeply. "Wh-what's wrong?" I asked. "Do I look funny?"
My mother smiled and shook her head. "No, sweetie, you look different! But good! Great even!" She came over to me and walked in a circle around me.
I blushed even harder and felt the tips of my ears wiggling as my mother said, "My little girl is turning into a woman!" She squealed, which sent me almost to the ceiling. "Isa, look, my little one is going to need a bra soon!” She exclaimed as she pointed and then tapped my right breast which was only a tiny bump, hardly visible through my shirt.
Instinctively I yelped and crossed my arms over my chest, my first burning intensely as I shielded them. “He-hey!” I squeaked and hopped away.
My mother was abuzz with excitement. “How should I make it?” She asked herself out loud. “Luna, what's your favorite flower? Or color?"
My eyes widened, and I shifted from foot to foot, arms still crossed over my chest. They were practically mosquito bites. I was nowhere near the size of needing a bra just yet. “Uh…” Was all I could say response, my brain seizing and crashing. We were all women here, yet the mere thought of me talking about this with my mother still made me shudder.
Isa snorted and laughed loudly before covering her mouth and grabbing her water so as not to choke on her breakfast.
Seeing my embarrassment, my mother quickly composed herself and said, "My apologies, Luna. I just… you look so cute!" She wrapped her arms around me and hugged me as I squeaked into her stomach. "You're growing up too fast! You need to slow down!"
It took Isa to claw my mother away from me.
Once everyone had calmed down, my feeling of self-consciousness returned to a normal state. Mother made me a plate of porridge and toast, along with a small cup of coffee. We all sat around and enjoyed our breakfast together in silence—that is until I was sipping the last of my coffee and Isa looked at me.
"Cailynn told me you had another nightmare earlier." Her feline ears flicked and swiveled towards me.
I stopped sipping my coffee midway and lowered the cup back down to the table. I took a deep breath and nodded. "Yeah, it was really scary."
"Was it like the one before?" Isa asked as my mother watched me from across the table.
I shook my head. "No, not exactly. But it felt real, like super real."
If you discover this tale on Amazon, be aware that it has been unlawfully taken from Royal Road. Please report it.
"Super real?" Isa repeated it softly, and I nodded.
"Can you tell me about it?" She lightly pushed her empty bowl away and leaned forward.
I cleared my throat and shrugged. "It's hazy; the dream wasn't as vivid as before."
"Please try," Isa said, motioning with her wrist for me to speak.
I glanced up at my mother, who nodded towards Isa, and I sighed softly.
"I was running away from something… I was me; I think. I didn't really check. It was nighttime. I heard… machine gun fire."
"Machine gun?" Isa muttered and glanced at Mother.
"I don't know what a machine gun is." Mother shrugged. "Slyran would probably be more familiar with firearms."
Ah shit, I assumed once again.
I sipped my coffee again but whimpered when I noticed it was empty and set it down. "It was like a gun, but it shot really fast. Like ratatatatatata," I mimicked the sound out loud.
Both Mother and Isa snorted and covered their mouths to hide their giggles. "It isn't cute!" I protested. "It was really scary!"
Calming themselves, Isa nodded and said, "I know, Luna. Sorry, please continue."
I sighed and continued, "I vaguely recall hiding in a hollow log when this… mechanical monster thing showed up. I think it killed some people who were running with me; it made this scary roar, and I felt this powerful heat come off of it. I was freaking out, and in my head, I could hear my own voice telling me to get to the city. Get to the city and avoid something about obstacles that will get me if we're too slow, and then I woke up because I think the monster found me." I deflated at the last bit.
Isa watched me with a focused gaze as I could see her stewing in the information, I provided her. After a moment, she side-eyed my mother, who was also watching me closely. The two of them shared eye contact for a second before Isa looked at me and leaned in.
"Have you had any more dreams like this in the past?" She asked me.
I shook my head. "Not that I know of."
"Isa, she is a growing girl." Mother started. "With all the stress of everything going on, maybe it's just… a stress-induced dream."
I nodded in agreement. I hope it's just that!
"Maybe, though it seemed oddly specific if it were true." She stroked her chin. "Back home, in my tribe. Dreams are held dear. They are important in that dreams can come from far and beyond; they can carry messages, lore, and visions."
"What are you getting at?" I asked before my mother could.
Isa gripped her chin with her clawed index finger and thumb. "You could be what is known as an Awakened Dreamer, Luna."
"Hold on, a what?" Both my mother and I spoke.
"Back in Kazora, our tribes had what are known as soulcasters." Isa explained, and my eyes widened.
"Wait, like spirimancy?" I looked to my mother, who nodded.
"Exactly," Isa said, "it is actually my people who were the ones who discovered and perfected it." She traced her clawed fingers over the table. "Soulcasters are oracles, those who have unlocked the inner eye within them and can live all their lives simultaneously."
Like me, my mother's eyes widened with interest and leaned in.
"This is what we called the 'awakening'." Isa explained. "When we die, Luna, our souls are cast into the Current. It is here that our souls are washed clean of the memories of our prior lives before descending into the Deepest Darkest Ocean. Within this ocean of souls, we wait until the Fisherman comes and pulls us out before releasing us into the Expanse, where we travel beyond before reawakening in our next life."
"Wait…" I blinked. "So, you're telling me reincarnation is normal?"
Mother glanced at me, and Isa smiled. "Yes. Every one of us has lived prior lives, and in my tribe, Awakened soulcasters are those who remember all of their prior lives and use that knowledge to guide us."
Wait, wait, wait… so is that what happened to me? I died back on Earth and woke up here. Is this 'Current' something that exists in my old world?
I sat back and rubbed my head.
"What I'm getting at, Luna." Isa said, "You might be or could be awakened. You don't need to be someone from my tribe to become Awakened, or, in this case, a dreamer. Dreamers are those who are partially awake but can only live old memories through their dreams."
Mother nodded. "Before spririmancy was officially discovered," Mother chimed in. "These people were seen as defective and suffered mental illnesses. Not far from here there's an old asylum, 'Sunshine's Lunatic Asylum', I think it was called."
I gulped. "I'm not going to be sent there if this is true, right?"
Mother snorted and shook her head. "No, sweetie, the place has been closed for almost over a century; I was a baby when it was shut down."
Isa nodded. "She is correct, though; nowadays, in most countries, Awakened people are well cared for. One can only imagine what it's like to have the memories of hundreds or thousands of lives they once lived. Many do in fact go mad, but those, like soulcasters, are trained to cope and live within the present."
I bit my lower lip. "So, you're telling me that if I fully awaken, I can go crazy?"
Mother shook her head. "No, you won't go crazy." She glanced at Isa. "While this has been interesting, Isa, I don't fully buy that Luna is what you're saying."
Isa leaned forward. "I'm not fully certain of it yet either, but the likelihood is there. That dream you had on your birthday, the language you spoke. That is no tongue that is spoken in Enora. At least not in official circles."
I shifted nervously. "You said you heard an old wizard in the past speak it, right?" I asked, and Isa nodded.
"Who did he speak to?"
Isa sighed. "I was young at the time, but he spoke to our elder. The soulcaster of our tribe." She stroked her chin. "Our elder spoke to him fluently in that tongue in the privacy of their room, or what they thought was private. But I couldn't go and ask them what they were talking about. I was merely a child at the time; if I were caught listening, I would've been punished harshly."
I glanced over at my mother, who seemed to be stuck in her thoughts, and looked at Isa once more. "What if we tried to contact the elder now? Or maybe track down that mage?"
Isa smirked and shrugged. "Unfortunately, Elder Y'Nari is long gone. She has passed into the Current and is hopefully living a more peaceful life now. As for the mystery mage…" She trailed off and tapped her chin. "The man is a ghost."
I blinked. "What do you mean?"
Isa leaned forward once more and said, "Perhaps it was just my childish fears at the time. But when the man left Elder Y'Nari's room, he drifted past me and went outside. I tried to follow him, yet when I neared the village gate, something blinded me for a second. I do not know what, but when my vision came to. He was gone; perhaps I tripped, or something got in my eye. But I swear, no human man moves that quickly."
"What happened after?" I asked curiously and with a bit of excitement that Isa was finally telling me a story of hers.
She deflated slightly. "Our elder conceded to the demands of the Rusivites. For so long, she was adamant that we deny their gifts and orders. Yet after that, a strange mage showed up. She folded."
"Oh…" I leaned back.
"What did this man look like?" My mother asked.
Isa pursed her lips. I could tell she was digging deep into her mind. "He was a weird one. Wore clothes I had never seen before, at the time at least. He wore an all-black suit, had a fine hat, and carried this suitcase. His beast tongue was excellent and posh, his common even more exquisite; I think he had brown or black hair."
"That could be anyone." My mother sighed before Isa snapped her finger.
"Oh, wait, I remember this clearly… The left side of his face had a scar, a long scratch." She nodded. "It always scared me when he smiled in my direction with it."
Mother nodded. "Okay, that's a nice detail to go off of. If he's a mage, I wouldn't be surprised if he's still around. Very rarely does a wizard keel over from old age, especially a human at that. They're always scrambling to find ways to live longer."
Isa nodded. "Perhaps, though he may not look the same as I remember, But alas…" She waved her hand. "That is a job for another, much calmer day. For now, to end what I was going to say, is that, Luna." She turned to me. "Please let me know if you have any more dreams like that as soon as you can. If we start noticing a trend, it may be best to find a spirimancer."
"Isn't spirimancy, like… not approved for practice?" I glanced at Mother, who nodded.
"Only states that're within the Magus Concordium. I could always take you to my homeland, where we could have you checked."
"Okay, hold on." My mother leaned in. "We're getting ahead of ourselves." At this point, I could hear the door to my parents' room opening, followed by an obnoxious belch and chuckle from my father.
The man of the house is awake. I smirked.
Mother relaxed back in her seat. "How about we enjoy the rest of our breakfast and pick this conversation up another time?"
Isa straightened up and bowed her head. "Agreed, and I do apologize if I overstepped." My mother smiled and gave her a reassuring nod.
"Luna, when you're finished with your breakfast, help me with the dishes and your father's meal." Mother said as she got up from the table and went over to the range to prep a cup of coffee for my father.
----------------------------------------
It was around ten in the morning when Varis woke up and came down to join the rest. I was in the middle of helping Mother finish up the kitchen and taking care of Father's mess as he sat there sipping his coffee and reading the paper.
"No news yet on the Kaiser's response," Father said softly to us as Varis entered.
"I hope that old fart waits till the last second to respond," Mother said. "More time we have, the better."
"More time till what?" My sleepy brother asked as he sat down at the table beside our father.
Mother motioned for me to take the last bowl of porridge over to him. Taking the bowl in hand, which was kept warm by a heat stone, I walked over to him.
"Something that I'll be wanting to talk to you about shortly." Father said it gruffly; he always sounded like a grump in the morning.
Varis jerked up in his seat and glanced at me, worried. I shrugged and pulled back, though I had a feeling what Father wanted to talk to him about.
"Isa, Cailynn, and Luna." Father glanced at us. "Once you're finished with the kitchen, can you leave the two of us alone in private?"
I blinked. Okay, now I was curious as to what he wanted to talk about.
Mother and Isa both nodded as my mother gripped my shoulder. "Luna, why don't you go to the backyard? There's something we need to tend to. As a matter of fact, take some of the salted juni to Ruby." Juni was like a form of boar.
I glanced up at Mother and nodded before going to grab the small wooden keg stuffed with pork-like meat. Surprisingly, it wasn't that heavy. I had to carry it on my shoulder, though it wasn't so bad as I went out the back door.
We didn't have a stable here at the Ashflow house; my parents never saw the need to have animals on this property. So to make up for it, my father hastily built a makeshift hitching post near the lone Sycora tree.
Ruby was a beautiful strider, yet horribly intimidating. Her red scales sparkled in the sun's light, and her purple and blue feathers looked extremely fluffy. Yet her piercing blue eyes made me shiver as the large, velociraptor-like creature glared down at me. I say velociraptor; it should be more accurate to say that this thing was more like a T-Rex compared to my short height.
Ruby tilted her large head and shifted her massive form to look at me. She had been standing when I approached her, yet as I drew near, she shifted herself and squatted down before me, like a chicken over its nest. Despite bringing herself down to my level, she still towered over me as I nervously approached.
"H-Hey there, R-Ruby… I'm not… a lawyer, so please don't eat me." I gulped. "Instead, uh… take this." I popped open the keg, and the dragon's head lifted curiously and cocked to one side.
I reached into the keg and pulled out a salty, purplish slab of meat. Despite looking grotesque, it smelled pretty good as I chucked the meat at Ruby, who, in a flash and vicious roar, caught the hunk of flesh midair and swallowed it.
I yelled and fell back on the grass as the large dragon leaned in and began to nose at the keg, trying to get more.
"Holy fuck, why would she send me out here to do this?" I panted heavily. "I could've gone to a world with horses and been better off." I sighed nervously, rolled over, and got to my feet. I then glanced around to make sure no one heard me. Seeing I was alone, I sighed and turned to see Ruby using her talon-like fingers to poke at the keg.
I gulped once more and stepped forward, hands raised. "Hey girl." The strider glanced up at me. "I-I can get more meat out for you." I pointed to the barrel.
Her eyes followed my finger, and then she glanced back at me and then back at the keg. This continued for a few seconds, and I nervously stepped forward and reached for the keg. A horrific snarl came from deep within her throat, and I immediately backed away. "I-I was just trying to get some more food for you, but hey… if you don't want it, sure." I turned around and walked away.
Mother said she was going to come out here; what's taking so—
"GYAAK!" I cried out as my vision was accosted by stars, and a sharp pain erupted in the back of my head as my face met earth and grass.
Behind me, I could hear deep grunting and hissing, almost like laughter, as I lifted my head and whimpered as I rubbed the lump on the back of my head. Turning to look, I saw the keg of meat beside me and looked back to see the laying-down strider laughing…
These things can laugh? I blinked and glanced at the meat beside me.
"Why did you hit me?!" I yelled at it, and immediately Ruby stopped her laughter and looked at me with a blank face.
I pouted and stuffed my hand in the keg, started yanking out all the meat, and kicked it towards the strider. "Jerk. I offered to help!" I huffed, tossed the keg aside, and walked away.
"GAH!" I shrieked as a wet slap of meat clapped me right in the back. Thankfully, it wasn't a wooden keg, but it still startled the shit out of me as I spun around to see Ruby chortling and licking the meat off the ground. "You're a bully!"
"Why are you yelling at Ruby?" I heard Mother ask just as the back door shut behind her.
"She threw the keg at me!" I said as Mother looked at Ruby, who was looking around at the sky innocently.
"Did she now?" Mother asked, and I nodded.
"It really hurt." I rubbed the back of my head.
My mother glanced at Ruby once more, and in a voice that shocked me, she spoke in a deep, guttural language I hadn't heard before. At least I thought it was a language; it sounded like throat singing and trying to clear it out at the same time. The sound of it made me flinch, and I noticed that Ruby immediately shot to attention and then let off a loud whine and dove down.
Mother then coughed and cleared her throat before rubbing it tenderly. "What was that?!" I was shocked.
"That was draconian." She coughed once more and pounded her upper chest. "It's killer on the throat for us elves and humans."
"You can speak dragon?" I gawked.
"A little bit. Isa knows more than me." She walked by me and motioned for me to follow.
I turned and began to trail behind Mother. "What did you say?"
"I said that if she touches another hair on your head, I'll put her on a spit." Mother said it nonchalantly, and I blinked.
A bit extreme, don't you think, mother? I thought, but then stopped when I noticed where we were walking.
The cabin.
"Uh, why are we going to the cabin?" I asked.
"Because we're going to grab a few final things, and you're going to help." Mother hummed a soft tune to herself as she reached into her pockets and pulled out a key.
"W-Wait, I can go in there?" I asked wide-eyed.
Mother glanced back at me and smiled. "Just this once." She winked and unlocked the door.