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Chapter 18: Forgiveness

I don't know when it happened, but at some point, I blacked out. When I came back to consciences, the sun was beating down on my face through the canvas tent, and my head rested on something soft. A hand was lightly running its fingers through my hair. I could hear someone crying; was it Varis? My vision was blurry as my eyes gradually opened, and I winced the sun’s bright light assaulted my eyes. I could faintly make out the silhouette of someone leaning over me, I closed my eyes once more and blinked away the blurriness from them. I focused my vision and saw that we were in a tent, and my mother was smiling down at me. Her eyes were red and puffy from crying.

"Oh, thank the gods, you're awake," she said in a hushed whisper as she placed her palm on my head and brushed loose bangs from my face.

I shifted on her lap and gasped as my body ached all over, and Mother halted my movement immediately.

"Don't move, sweetie." She whispered, "I patched you up as best I could, but magic only goes so far. Take it easy."

I shifted my head slightly and looked down at my body. I was wearing a white one-piece dress, and from what I could see, sure enough, the wounds I got from last night were gone. Instead, all I saw were slightly faded scars, which would probably be gone in a few weeks to a month.

Yet seeing this, I couldn't help but feel an overwhelming sense of shame wash over me. Biting my lower lip, I took a deep breath and clenched my eyes shut, yet this wasn't enough to stop the tears. My face broke, and I shuddered with a soft moan as I began to cry. I reached up with my right hand, gripped the button-up shirt Mother was wearing, and buried my face in her. Everything began to bubble out of me. Not just the shame of what happened last night, but everything. The baggage I hadn’t even known I’d been carrying came out of me. The fear of dying again, wasting this life away, the feeling of having died and already losing everything I had. Being a kid again, trapped in a small, frail body, the fact my body was in so much pain. All of this and more I felt emptying from me and into my mother’s dress.

She cooed softly as she gently wrapped her arms around me and pulled me into a careful hug. Her hand lightly touched and stroked the back of my head. I hiccuped and sobbed for what felt like five minutes, and during that entire time, she held me close and shushed me softly as she held me.

As I began to calm down, I sniffled, pressed my forehead into her bosom, and sat there as I tried to regain my composure. I'm such an idiot; I thought there was nothing up there; I was afraid and paranoid about nothing. And I got myself hurt and put others in danger!

"Luna." Mother shifted and reached down to take me by the chin. She gently made me look at her, her blue eyes bright and warm. She gazed upon me with a soft smile. "I love you, and I'll do anything to protect you. I know what happened was scary, but you're safe now. We're all safe now."

I sniffed and hiccuped. Fuck, the tears are welling back up!

"I-I'm sorry!" I squeaked out, and my mother closed her eyes and nodded.

"I know you are, my little star. But it's alright now." She ran her thumb across my cheek, wiping away my tears.

I sniffled and asked, "Am I in trouble? Are you not going to teach me anymore?'

My mother's smile widened a little bit, and she shook her head. "No, you're not in trouble. I think what happened was more than any lesson your father and I combined can teach a little elf." She booped my nose. "You're very lucky and very strong."

"St—strong?" I stuttered.

Mother nodded. "After I got rid of those evil monsters, I went into the cave because I was curious as to why you were there, and I found this." She leaned over and picked something up off the ground. I watched as she straightened up and presented, in her free palm, the piece of cold iron stained with the sap-like blood of the timberwolf.

"You fought and defeated a monster all by yourself." Mother smiled. "That, my little star, shows you have immense strength."

I choked up once more as visions of last night's fight flashed before my mind. "I-I was so scared…" I whimpered, and my mother cooed softly once again and pulled me into a tight hug.

"I know, sweetie. But you're safe. Momma and Papa will always be there for you." She kissed the top of my head. "Even when you go to school, no matter where you are, you call for us, and I'll come; even if it means traversing the sea or air, I'll always come for you."

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After things had calmed down, Mother took me by the hand and gently guided me out of the tent and into the early afternoon light. The smell of the campfire caught my attention, and I looked up to see Father, Isa, and Varis sitting around the fire.

Upon noticing me, Varis's puffy eyes lit up, and he screamed with joy as he rushed toward me. Mother reached out to stop him but wasn't quick enough as my brother latched his arms around my sore, little body and cried into my shoulder.

"You're okay! You're okay!" He cried, and I squeaked as his hug made my lower back crack.

Once again, I tried to fight back tears as I wrapped my arms around him and held him.

"Yes, I'm fine… Please, you're crushing me." I gasped.

Varis released me and held me by my shoulders as I gulped some air and looked at him with teary eyes. "I'm sorry," I said. "I-I was foolish to go off alone."

"Yes, you are!" Varis said as he released one hand to wipe his eyes. "You're the brains, remember? I'm the strong one! How can I be strong for you if you're alone?"

I felt my heart ache, and I sniffed and also wiped my eyes.

My mother awed softly as she knelt beside us, her hand on each of our shoulders. "It's okay, you two; everyone is back and safe. Now go on; Father has been making lunch for everyone."

Shuffling towards the fire, we all took our seats around it. Father looked up at me as he poured what looked to be a stew into a tin bowl and passed it over to me.

"You look good, Luna." He said, "Mother's handiwork really made you come out as good as new."

I blushed faintly as I took the stew and said, "Thank you." I placed the food on my lap and spooned some into my mouth for a few moments before lowering the utensil. My eyes were glued to the fire as I sat and swam in my thoughts.

"Is something wrong, little one?" Isa asked me. "Is the food not to your liking?"

I shook my head. "No," I said softly, and I looked at each and everyone here.

Father's scruffy face and charming smile greeted me, his blonde hair having grown out a bit and seemingly disheveled.

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Mother's smooth yet sharp facial features, her big eyes soft and heart-wearing, and her short, black, and blue hair nicely brushed.

I looked at Varis, who had grown much since we met. His face resembled much of Father's, yet his short hair was dark like Mother's. His green and blue eyes, both of them, flicked back and forth between my gaze and his food. His smile, which pierced his lips, made my heart flutter.

I then finally looked to Isa; while not officially part of our family, I couldn't help but look to her as an aunt or older sister. Her strong, beautiful facial features and her adorably large feline eyes, which can easily change to fearsome, locked with mine, and she smirked at me. Her fuzzy red ears flicked cutely as her clawed hand brushed her red bangs to the side.

These people. People whom I at first saw as nothing more than just my guardians. I now cared for them deeply. More so than any family I had before. I loved all of them. The hand holding my spoon trembled once more, the metal clinking together as I shuddered and closed my eyes.

And I stupidly almost threw them all away…

"Luna?" Mother said softly as I sat there silently trembling.

I took a sharp breath. I held it for a moment and breathed out, my nerves calming as I said, "I'm so… so sorry." I sniffed and looked up at them again. "I'm sorry for scaring you all last night." I looked at Mom and Dad. "I'm sorry for forcing you two to go into danger!"

Father lowered his lunch and said, "Luna, it's okay. We forgive you." To try and lighten the mood, he said, "When I was a little squirt, I was constantly getting into danger. It doesn't mean it's right, but seeing you now owning up to it. That's what makes it better."

Isa nodded. "As long as you do not do that again, everything will be settled." She said this as she placed her clawed hand on my head.

Father nodded. "Aye, that's right." He scooped some stew into his mouth, chewed, and swallowed before he asked, "But would you mind telling us why you went up alone?"

I gulped as Isa placed a hand on my shoulder and nodded, urging me to answer.

Why did I go up there? I thought. It had terrified me earlier—the sound of static, that beeping, my nightmare. Did I think going up there would rid me of it? It seemed to.

I took a deep breath. I have nothing to hide; what's the point of not telling them?

"Before I fainted up on the mountain, I felt a weird sensation." I looked up at them; their eyes were all trained on me. "Like this gut feeling that was pulling me to it. A-and well, as I told you all, I heard this weird noise. Like rustling leaves, but not like any rustling leaves I ever heard. It was constant, and then I heard this deep… droning 'beep'… 'beep'…" I mimicked the noise of the heart monitor.

My parents shared a glance, yet Isa kept her eyes trained on me. I continued, "It terrified me. I don't know why." I think I do, but I'll leave that bit out. "I was so scared, I just… fell over. And I had this awful nightmare."

I noticed Isa leaning forward her eyes narrowing. "What kind of nightmare?" Isa asked.

Should I tell them about the nightmare? It is just a dream, after all.

"Uh well…" I gulped as visions of it replayed in my head; it felt so real and so vivid. "It was weird and scary."

"You don't have to tell us, Luna," Mother said, but Isa held up her hand.

"No, Cailynn, let her speak of it, please, Luna. Continue."

Father passed me a canteen of water, which I happily took and sipped from. After I lowered it, I continued, "I woke up in a hospital. A big hospital, but nothing like the clinic in town. It felt, strangely, future and foreign."

"Oooh, like one of those 'Science fiction' stories Avdol told me about?" Varis asked with big eyes.

Briefly getting sidetracked Father sighed and rolled his eyes. "Oh, those stories are rubbish,"

"Yes!" I nodded pointing at Varis.

Thank you, brother; that'll make describing it easier!

"In the dream, I was a grown-up, but I was… a human, a man. I wasn't a girl."

Varis blinked. "You were a boy?" He cocked his head.

"Shush, Varis, let her finish." Isa said before focusing back on me showing great interest.

I nodded. "I was a boy. Yet I still remembered everything from here, and I saw that around me was a device that could detect what I thought was my heart, and there was this box that had this… moving picture, but it showed snow and made a ‘shhh’ sound." I expressed myself as I began to describe the whole scene.

My family seemed very enamored now with the story, especially Varis, who seemed to be enjoying it, yet Isa's expression grew more grim. "I got off the bed, and I went to the bathroom nearby to look at myself. I was skinny to the bone, I had a big red beard like Mr. Olson, and my hair was scraggly. If I had to guess, I was maybe middle-aged. It was scary because a woman came into the room." I explained as I began to relive the memory, “And she said, ‘Mister, I'm glad you're awake, but—’"

My entire family abruptly pulled back, confused. "Wait, wait…" Father stopped me, and I tensed. "What was that you were just saying?"

"Was that even Maurich?" Mother said in a hushed voice.

Oh shit, I thought as I realized what I had just done. I just spoke English by accident.

The only one not startled by the sudden change in language was Isa who then straightened up and said, "Continue, Luna."

I cleared my throat, and I shivered as my parents now looked at me as if I were some alien. Oh fuck, oh fuck, did I just break my cover? I panicked though closed my eyes and took another breath to calm myself.

"Sorry, I-I'm just repeating what I heard. I-I don't know what it was." I tried to lie, though their faces didn't seem fooled. "Uh, huh… Well. I uh, got scared and fell in the tub as these human nurses swarmed me, and this scary doctor poked me with something, and I woke up! Haha…" I rubbed my neck.

"And then you went to the cave after waking up?" Isa asked me.

I lowered my head sadly and nodded.

Isa nodded as well. "This changes things," she said in a low voice.

"Luna, what did you say?" My mother asked me.

"I-I do—" Mother held a finger up to me.

"It's okay, Luna; I'm not mad." She clarified.

I took another nervous sip of my water and translated, "She was happy that I woke up. She wanted to get me back to bed; she kept calling me by name, but I swear that I don't know what it was!" I lied; I knew what she called me, but never again did I want to think of it or say it.

Thankfully, my family didn't push me on that. "What language was she speaking? Do any of you know it?" Mother asked.

Isa shook her head. "I don't know what it is, but I recall having heard it once."

This made me straighten up and look at her. "Really? So, I'm not going crazy?" I tried to play it off.

Isa nodded. "Long, long ago. A traveler came through my village, an old mage, if memory serves me right. He was vastly intelligent and took a great interest in searching for an old ruin." She stroked her chin. "I was a mere kitten back in the day. But I recall him pulling the elder aside one evening. That night, I snuck near the door to their room, and I listened in on them. Inside, the mage and my elder spoke in a tongue very similar to what you just did. It sounded so alien to me. I tried to look into it afterwards, yet my Elder told me I must've been hearing things." Isa looked at me. "I knew she was lying, and hearing you just now proved that my ears weren't wrong."

I shifted nervously; my mind was going a mile a minute. Wait, what? Are there others out there who speak English? Are there other people who were reincarnated like me? I wondered. I guess it probably isn't impossible. Yet part of me wished it was and I don’t know why. Why would I be disappointed knowing there were others like me? Strange.

"Where did you learn to speak that language, Luna?" Isa asked me.

I responded with a shrug. "I don't know," I lied. "I only recall the dream." She squinted at me.

"Isa, why don’t we let it rest for now?" Mother said, "When we return to Oren and the house, we can always discuss more. Yet, for now, let us enjoy the remainder of our time away."

That's going to be a little hard to do. I sighed.

Mother reached over and placed a hand on my back. "It's okay, sweetie. If you want, you can stay near the camp with me, besides…" She winked. "I have some cool spells to teach you."

Spells?

My head perked up along with my mood, and I looked at Mother. "Oh?"

She smiled widely and nodded. "Yep, so finish up your meal and we can go practice!"

Say no more! I lifted my cooled stew and immediately began to chow away.