"You are clearly more composed than I expected", Julius spoke up and sat down next to the youngest High-Magician before stretching out his feet, leaning back and watching the flames before his eyes.

"What were you expecting?", High-Magician Thopas spoke up.

"I don't really know. In my memory, mages were always strict and dismissive?"

"Strict and dismissive?", the two High-Magicians repeated in sync.

"It's hard to describe. For normal people like me, Mages are a wonder of the world and High-Magicians are something that could come from the Gods themselves. That's why I personally have always felt a distance from the Magistrat, but amazingly, you're all pretty normal."

"I am honored", High-Magician Leuen replied with amusement. "Do you believe, then, that the three gods really exist?"

"No, actually, I don't. If there really is one or more divine beings, why do they allow there to be so much suffering?"

"Legitimate question."

"What about you? You as High-Magicians... do you believe in the gods?"

"I didn't use to", High-Magician Thopas and High-Magician Leuen again spoke up simultaneously, causing the two mages to look at each other in surprise.

"You didn't use to, but you do now?"

"You could say that", High-Magician Leuen continued the statement. "A lot has happened in our lives that has greatly changed our view of the world."

"Questions about our origins and our meaning in life are therefore commonplace", High-Magician Thopas added a moment later. "When I was younger, I wasn't the least bit interested in the gods and the world, but now it's a mystery to me that keeps reminding me that I'm just a little insect."

"An insect?"

"A small, insignificant life. A life whose extinction no one would care about."

"That's a pretty grim statement", Julius replied, turning to the two High-Magicians.

"Perhaps", High-Magician Thopas answered. By hiding behind High-Magician Leuen's torso, Julius couldn't see his expression, but from his voice, he seemed serious. "I mean... Sir Venlan... have you never wondered why you were given life? Have you never wondered why you were born into your family and not into another, perhaps better family?"

At the statement, Julius winced involuntarily before nervously grabbing his neck. His own family had always been the reason he never wanted to start one himself. A fact that Loys didn't know and therefore always brought up the uncomfortable topic of his past.

"Or why some people leave us earlier than others?", High-Magician Thopas added.

"Or why not everyone has the opportunity to live a peaceful, happy life", High-Magician Leuen interjected.

"Or how big the world really is and what awaits us at the end of the world."

"At the end of the horizon, at the end of the sky, or in the depths of the sea?"

"Why do we humans exist at all? Beings doomed to fight each other for their faith, race or lifestyle?"

"Why the Dragon Queen judges us humans as if she were salvation?", Julius interjected into the conversation.

"For example, yes", High-Magician Leuen replied. "Why are the dragons so much more powerful than us humans, yet their numbers so much smaller? Why are their lives different from those of us humans?"

"What is the meaning of our lives? That is the question of all questions", High-Magician Thopas raised. "Sometimes, when I'm lost in thought, I try to remember the day I became a 3rd stage mage. What had brought me this honor? Why was I deemed worthy and others... other people who do good to her throughout her life were not?"

"Have you done anything in your life that you regret, High-Magician Thopas?"

"You haven't?", High-Magician Leuen replied instead.

"Yes, I have."

"So do we. Everyone has done something in their lives whose outcome they would like to change. No one is perfect, but why are the doors to a better future open to some people, while a big wall opens in front of others? Is it on purpose? A punishment from the gods?"

"I doubt it", Julius replied. "Aren't you yourself responsible for what happens in your life?"

"Would you say the same to a terminally ill child - an untouched soul that is neither good nor evil?", High-Magician Leuen replied, causing Julius to run out of answers.

"These are the questions asked by people whose lives have been an ebb and flow of emotions", High-Magician Thopas quietly spoke up. "Or who have a trail of corpses trailing behind them."

"I realize... these are not the questions I usually deal with", Julius confessed.

"Be glad", the High-Magicians countered simultaneously.

"Then what do you think is the answer to all these questions? The gods?"

Ensure your favorite authors get the support they deserve. Read this novel on the original website.

"To some, perhaps, but certainly not to all", High-Magician Leuen replied. "I have often wondered where the origin of the world we live in lies. How much of what we think we know is even true? Are we really as free as we always think we are?"

"We break down information about the world to our level so that we can understand it. But we still don't understand it", High-Magician Thopas spoke up, sliding his upper body down quite a bit. "In reality, we humans know absolutely nothing."

"Hey, you better not fall asleep next to me."

"I'm not that tired."

"Yet", High-Magician Leuen pointed out, followed by a sigh. "Are you really still awake because of the dominant feeling of mana, or is something bothering you, Sir Venlan?"

"No. I had just been talking with Duke of Freigoud for a while, and after that the flames had aroused my curiosity", Julius replied, though by now he too could feel that he was getting tired. After all, he had been on his feet all day and only now allowed himself to relax a bit. "But I have to admit, the thought of tomorrow is preventing me from getting any rest."

"Why is that?"

"Because of Prince William", Julius brought up unintentionally honestly.

"I see."

"Has he told you the stories about our past?"

"Not much, though I must admit I knew a lot of it before we met. You have been teachers of the three princes, and thanks to this position you later became the deputy of King Leonhardt and Duke of Freigoud. I am familiar with the stories of your quarrels with Prince William, and I know that he caused you many problems."

"Well then, I don't need to explain myself."

"William can be quite an asshole, can't he?", High-Magician Leuen blurted out, causing Julius to look at him in surprise. "Don't get me wrong. I really like William a lot and would do anything for him to make him happy. But sometimes he drives me crazy, especially when he doesn't realize the damage he does with his actions."

"What did he do to make you say that about him?"

"Messed with creatures and put the lives of the whole group at risk with it. Not taking no for an answer and asking several times, although I don't want to talk about it", High-Magician Leuen explained, running his hand through his long hair. "As I said... I care a lot about William, but even he makes mistakes. He is still an ignorant child. But equally he is a spiritual support I don't want to give him away. However, in the last few months he has changed a lot, in a good way. I have the feeling that he has matured and begun to let the world get to him."

"Let the world get to him?", Julius repeated confused. "How exactly do you mean?"

"William hates his position as prince. Didn't you know that?", High-Magician Leuen explained.

"Since when?"

"Always. Ever since he was a child. He said to me that he felt locked up in the palace, but at the same time he was extremely afraid of the outside world. When we met then, he barely exchanged a word with me because he was afraid I would hurt him or the group."

"He did? To me, he always seemed like a confident kid who knew exactly what he wanted."

"You're wrong about that. William is like a bird in a cage that managed to pick the lock but never learned to fly."

"A bird that can't fly..."

"Try to remember how Prince William used to behave. Was he just a spoiled little prince, or had he made signs that he wanted more freedom?"

At the statement, Julius was silent, because at that moment a certain event abruptly jumped into his mind. The day when he had asked for Audience from King Leonhardt to get his permission to leave the palace. William grumbled most of the time because Leonhardt initially denied him exit, but it was only now that he really recalled the image of William.

A young man that stood trembling before his father, trying to escape from the burdens of royalty. A young man who wanted to get rid of all bad memories and therefore refused to leave the office without a permission.

"Seems like you must be thinking of something there", the High-Magician's words snapped him out of his thoughts.

"Yes. Perhaps you are right. I always thought of him as the Prince of Sylve and never as a normal child. He was just different from Prince Edward and Prince Marion, which is why I could never understand why he acted like that. And he had been since the second day of class. At times it was so bad that I even had to teach him separately, feeling he could never be calmed down."

"He must have cost you dozens of nerves, didn't he?"

"Yes. He did. Back when I was offered the position as the helping hand for King Leonhardt, my failure with William was one of the reasons I initially declined the offer."

"And the others?", the High-Magician inquired.

"There were a few reasons. As an ordinary citizen, I simply felt that I didn't belong in such a world. A world full of noble and extremely wealthy personalities who can't talk about anything but their wealth. But equally, I didn't want to disappoint Loys if I failed. Ah, Loys is..."

"Duke of Freigoud, I know", High-Magician Leuen replied with a smile. "Do you regret your decision?"

"Not in the least. Of course, it was unusual at first, but I had Loys by my side and he always spoke up for me when there were problems. The initial Duke of Freigoud and work colleague of mine had quickly become a close friend, something that took me a good year to realize. I don't think I ever told Loys that, but I'm very grateful for it."

"That's nice to hear", High-Magician Leuen replied, raising his right arm before looking to the side. "I don't believe it... I just told you not to fall asleep, Aaron."

"I'm not sleeping", Aaron muttered softly.

Astonished, Julius straightened up before spotting the sleeping man. A smile flitted across his lips at the sight and he leaned back again.

"Seems I'm not the only one who feels that way. Have you ever regretted your decision to go to the Magistrat?"

"No", High-Magician Leuen replied, resting his hand carefully on Aaron's back. "If anything angers me, I suppose it's the fact that I hid from the truth for so long."

"From the truth?"

"That I'm a mage. There was a time in my life when I wanted to be anything but a mage. It's a long, complicated story, but looking back, I was just a kid who was afraid of the future", High-Magician Leuen explained. "Do you know that feeling when you have second thoughts about every decision you've made?"

"Yes, I used to be like that, especially when that decision affected thousands of people."

"That's kind of how I felt. At some point I started not letting any feelings get to me for fear of not being able to live with the consequences of my decision. And it was the same with the other High-Magicians. Not only related to our work in the Magistrat, but more in general. By being magicians, we often play with life and death."

"Understandable. I also got into fights a lot and something I could never get comfortable with was killing someone. Even if his death was justified."

"Yes, I know that feeling...", High-Magician Leuen replied, looking up at the sky. "And this question haunts me every day. Is what I am doing even the right way? Am I really acting for the common good or just for myself? Is it really necessary to kill everything and everyone who gets in my way?"

"Are you talking about the Thormods?", Julius threw into the room, and could see High-Magician Leuen shrug in surprise.

"Among other things, yes. I always try not to let the subject get so close to me, but I want to understand the reason. Why are they doing all this to us? Why are they attacking our country and trying to kill people? What have we ever done to them?"

"It's one of those questions that you either try to solve to the hilt or ignore until it's too late to change anything."

"The only problem is that I can't and won't take that chance. Not again."

"Not again?", Julius repeated the statement in irritation, but by the look on the High-Magician's face, he sensed that he would not get an answer to that. Perhaps Caleb Leuen and Prince William were similar.

High-Magician Leuen was also a bird that would like to leave its cage, but could not fly. Only with the difference that he could fly, if the chains on his foot would not pull him to the ground.