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the one who remembers
Part 123 - reunion (3)

Part 123 - reunion (3)

The Eldest had really been right. Grischa began to remember, even if he didn't really understand the context at the moment. Cale could clearly see how his friend himself was confused about what he had just said. As if he knew exactly that there was more to his statement.

The thought pleased Cale, but equally it frightened him. Inevitably, his eyes wandered to William. With an expectant look, William looked to the High-Magicians, but neither of them produced a word. Finally, Cale sighed and straightened up.

"Let's go inside. I haven't washed myself in a week and I'm pretty hungry", Cale quietly spoke up and extended a hand to the two men sitting on the floor at the same time.

"Cale, are you... are you about the same age as Aaron?", William concretized his question. Surprised, Grischa now also turned to the prince, who stood up and looked tensely at Cale. The fact that Cale didn't answer her question seemed to make things worse. You could see William getting skeptical, and Grischa tried to hide the fact that his head hurt. "Tell me, please. You usually don't lie to me, so why do you now?"

Cale stared at the prince, not wanting to give an answer. But he couldn't dodge such a direct question like he usually did, and he didn't want to lie, especially not to William. At the same time, his reason prevented him from telling the truth. How could he? How could he tell William to his face that their meeting then was not a coincidence? How could he tell him that he had been waiting for his arrival for years? If he told William about it, how do you think he would react?

Slowly, Cale dropped the barrier around him and rubbed the back of his neck with his hand as he let the unpleasant thoughts run through his mind. His gaze wandered to the left and lingered on the white-haired High-Magician.

He couldn't help but think of Grischa's question, 'Is the city a prison to you?'

In a strange way, it had become so, which Cale was only now realizing. All his six lives he had always tried to protect his friends and that resulted in protecting the capital. It had completely escaped him how little he actually cared about this place and its inhabitants, because for him the city had a completely different meaning. The only place he still cared about was the Magistrat itself. Besides the Magistrat, only Aletta's homeland had such significance. Norgram, the underground city where he had spent half his life.

"It's a lot more complicated than you think", Cale raised his voice after a while and separated from the two. Without a backward glance, he walked toward the open front door and could feel William and Grischa come to a halt side by side, apparently whispering something to each other, and then following Cale.

Neither of them could comprehend how Cale was feeling right now. Not even Cale himself was clear what he should be thinking right now. It was a question he didn't want to answer. Whenever it came to his true identity, it was like he was on trial. He had always been afraid of what would happen if the wrong people found out about his gift. Up until now, he hadn't had any major problems with his plan, but ever since Cale found out about the Thormods, he didn't know what to do at all.

How much of what he was currently doing even mattered? What was the point of him trying to stop a war single-handedly? If he was only in a copy of reality, then all his actions were meaningless. Rather, he should care about himself than about others. He had to find a way out of this world if he ever wanted to find peace.

With a thoughtful expression on his face and tired eyes, he walked silently up the stairs, closely followed by the High-Magician and the swordsman. They called out to Cale a few times, but he was no longer in the mood to converse with them. As much as it pleased him to see everyone doing well, it also pained him.

In the end, he would lose it all again.

"Cale!", William shouted suddenly, reaching for his friend's hand, which made Cale stop. Some mages who were in front of you stopped jerkily, stepped aside as usual and bowed.

"How much clearer do you want me to make it to you that I don't want to talk about this?", Cale threw back, glancing over his shoulder with his eyes. The mana he had been holding back until that moment erupted menacingly for a split second, causing William to let go of him in surprise. Both Grischa and he had the same horrified expression on their faces.

"Caleb", Grischa tried to address the High-Magician a moment later, which is why Cale only returned the statement with tired eyes and continued walking. The mages at the edge of the hallway didn't dare look up, but they too sensed Cale's tension and anger. They looked to the floor as the High-Magician, followed by his friends, walked past them and breathed a quiet sigh of relief.

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It was clear to Cale that William didn't have any bad intentions. Always, his friend had been a cheerful and helpful part of his life, which was why he appreciated him so much. But he saw no reason to let him in on the secret of his life. Be it fear or sheer caution, Cale would not tell him. Which it probably seemed too late for, because William seemed to have long since guessed that Cale had lied to him.

Quietly, Cake opened his apartment door and could feel the three people rise from his kitchen and quickly rush into the entryway, the healer leading the way. She joyfully called his name and jumped around his neck, causing Cale to simply catch her and put on a slightly pained smile as he looked at Ben and Philippa.

"Good morning, I see you're all awake", the High-Magician raised calmly, keeping his gaze on Ben. The tall man with the scar on his chin looked straight at the appendix before giving Cale a skeptical look. He seemed to sense that something wasn't quite right.

"Don't just disappear like that", Aletta scolded, causing Cale to sigh slightly in annoyance and lean over to put the young mage down. She realized his attempt and did as she was ordered. Silently, Aletta stopped in front of the man, who was a good head taller, who placed his hand on her head and ran it through her hair.

"It's nice to have you back with us in good health", the High-Magician politely announced, looking at Philippa, who was also walking towards him. He knew exactly why, which was why he received the archer's embrace intentionally.

"Nice to see you, too. We were quite surprised when Aletta said you were out of town."

"I had to take care of something, sorry", Cale explained in response to Philippa's statement, releasing the hug before Ben approached him. Wordlessly, the two hugged as well, while Ben gently patted his back and then looked to Cale.

"You look exhausted. We're eating right now if you're hungry", Ben spoke up with concern.

"Eat without me, I'm going to wash up first", he explained briefly to the swordsman, prompting him to nod simply. Aletta motioned for William and Grischa to enter and join the meal, which prompted Cale to take a quick glance behind and then distance himself from the group.

It wasn't until he let the door slam behind him that he realize how bad he just felt. It felt wrong to be so cold-hearted to the people who meant the world to him, but he couldn't help it. Cale didn't want to ruin his relationship with them, especially if he told them they might all not be real. A chaos of thoughts and feelings that Cale couldn't place.

He slipped into the second-floor bathroom and locked the door before removing his clothes, running the hot water on the side. Steam slowly formed in the room, fogging up the windows and mirrors, but Cale enjoyed the heat. Gently he stepped into the tub filled with warm water, leaned back exhausted and closed his eyes.

Guilt was calling. The behavior toward William, the headache from Grischa, the feigned behavior toward Ben, Aletta, and Philippa, his harsh manner toward Katarina Ursus' group, his disinterest in Yusuf Mirai and the High-Magicians. Everything he had done didn't feel right, but Cale couldn't help it. He didn't care about people, even though at the same time he knew that wasn't 100% true. They were all just objects that needed to be in the right place at the right time, but at the same time, he didn't want to put their lives at risk unnecessarily.

Cale was at odds with himself.

Sullenly, he slapped the water against his face before slowly sliding his head down into the tub. Only his mouth and nose still protruded from the surface of the water as Cale drifted almost weightlessly.

All this time he had always tried to protect the city and keep his people alive, but now that he had finally achieved his wish, he felt an inner emptiness. He could not set a fixed goal, knowing full well what would happen after his demise. The fact that he was the only one who would remember everything after death made one thing very clear to him: he was alone.

Cale felt left behind and alone in this false world.

Everything he thought and did was simply meaningless. He could destroy the entire city here and now and then kill himself - no one would know what happened. It seemed so surreal to be so casual with the thought of death, but Cale could no longer suppress it. He was still afraid of it, so his common sense hadn't left him yet, but he saw death as a kind of ability rather than an end.

Suddenly, Cale could feel strange mana spreading through him and it took him a moment to place it. It was the mana of the dragon Chioni, plain as day. Astonished, he straightened up as if to look around for the source, but he knew immediately where it came from. It came from his own body. He held his hands just above the surface of the water, as if waiting for something to happen.

<"Ah, Caleb! Can you hear me?">

Suddenly, a chill ran down his spine as he heard the white dragon's voice. For a moment he looked around scrutinizing, but then realized he hadn't heard a voice.

"Yes, where are you?", he asked nervously. What had the dragon lady done? She couldn't be in the capital, Cale would know. He would have sensed that much sooner, and if not, heard the screams of the people by now.

<"You don't have to scream, human child. Speak to me in your mind">, Chioni replied. Astonished at the statement, Cale put his hands over his ears, so he couldn't hear anything.

<"Thoughts?">

<"Just like that, wonderful. That must have surprised you quite a bit, didn't it? It's my gift.">

<"Gift?">, Cale repeated in irritation. What was the dragon talking about? What kind of gift?

<"Yes, my ability. I can talk to the dragons via telepathy and now I can talk to you.">