Richard reclined in his office chair, reading the newspaper, feet up on the desk. It was a lovely morning; the sun was up, the air conditioner was on full blast, and the streets were uncharacteristically quiet. The local paper featured an article on his case; as expected, it was on the back of the first section, the “local color” page featuring an inset “weird news” portion, solely in his honor. But it was largely complimentary, it mentioned his name, and even featured an outdated head shot; it looked like the photo taken for his ID at the police academy. He didn’t mind; there was more joy of life in his eyes back in those days.

He sighed happily and looked around his office. Having it organized certainly reduced his stress level; he was glad he had taken the time. A new layer of dust had moved in to replace the previous tenant, but that was just a part of living in a windy desert – the dust had been here long before man, and would be here long after, slowly swallowing the city in a drift of fine silt. He perused the optimistic gaze in the photo, and wondered what that version of him would think of how he ended up. Hopefully, he wouldn’t be entirely disconsolate.

Soon, he would have to get to the task at hand; the IRS audit was tomorrow. It involved all records of income and expenses for the previous year, organized so they could verify them and, if desired, take photocopies. He had nothing to hide, but it was going to be a fair bit of work – his records weren’t organized by time, but by case, and a few of the more complex ones crossed yearly boundaries. There would be a lot of pulled staples, and some careful note-taking to ensure all the receipts got filed into their proper place afterwards.

He opened the left drawer of his desk and peered inside. Still no whiskey bottle; that was a cause for joy. He smiled and closed the drawer again.

A tune erupted from somewhere near his chest. That wasn’t his text-message notification; what could it be? Slowly, he recognized it as his ringtone. He pulled out his phone and looked at the screen; seeing Rosaleen’s name sent a surge of joy through his body, even breaching the fringes of his soul. He answered the call. “Rosaleen?”

“Richard! Hi! So sorry I didn’t call sooner!”

He took his feet off the desk and settled into his chair. “That’s OK…we’ve both had a lot on our minds recently.”

“Yeah, so I’ve heard! I read about your case; it’s hard to believe anyone could put all those clues together. Pretty impressive! Congratulations!”

Richard chuckled. “Thanks! Though I’m surprised anyone reads the newspaper.”

“Newspaper? Who said anything about the newspaper? I read about it on the paper’s website.”

Richard suddenly stood up in his chair. “I made the web site?!” He stared forward for a moment, starry eyed. “Wow! I’ve really hit the big time!”

“Yep, things are gonna start moving for you now!” she cheered.

“Hopefully I’ll end up with more high-profile cases,” he mused. “A private detective’s life can be pretty humiliating sometimes.”

“I know.” She paused a moment. “On that note…I need to apologize for the way our last date ended. I can’t believe I really acted that way.”

Support creative writers by reading their stories on Royal Road, not stolen versions.

“Neither can I.” Telling her the stone-cold truth felt very cathartic.

“I mean, my reaction was just so, so…”

Petty? Cowardly? Contradictory?

“…human!”

That worked too.

“A lizard would have never acted that way! The Nile monitors that raised me would have been really disappointed in me.”

“I can imagine.” He couldn’t, but he really had no idea how to react to her last statement.

“I’m not sure if it was the knife, or the creep, or your bravado, or being really worried about you getting hurt, but I just sort of went to pieces inside. I don’t know if you’ll ever forgive me, and I have no right to ask, but I hope you consider it.”

“Don’t beat yourself up,” Richard soothed. “I can forgive you. I’ve thought about it a lot, and I decided the most likely explanation is that you didn’t have a lizard with you that day.”

There was a pregnant pause. “Hey…you’re probably right! That hadn’t occurred to me, but yeah, that would have made all the difference. You know, when most guys hear about my connection with lizards, I can see them swiping left in their mind.” Her voice became glowing. “You really do get me.” She punctuated her last statement with a short giggle.

Richard’s heart swelled with so much joy, he momentarily worried he may pass out. “I’d like to think so.”

“So,” she started uncertainly, “think maybe we can go on another date some time?”

Thoughts of Jan forced their way into his mind, along with the deep regret he felt for the way their last date ended. “I don’t know…I’m sort of seeing someone right now. Nothing definite, but still.”

“Well, sure,” she replied. “So am I. You didn’t think we were exclusive, did you?”

“No, of course not,” he agreed, his heart falling a little. “There was no reason for me to assume that.”

“I’d just like to see you again,” she related, “talk to you, get to know you better, see where it goes. That’s all.”

Richard smiled to himself. “That sounds great! My schedule is pretty open. How’s yours?”

“Oh, I’m out of town at the moment,” she revealed. “I’m consulting for a few weeks in San Diego. They wanted some advice on how to care better for their lizards. I swear, these people don’t know anything! It makes me think I should write a book.”

“I hear no one reads books anymore,” he quipped.

“You’d be surprised,” she hinted. “In any case, I look forward to seeing you when I get back.”

“I can’t wait,” Richard replied.

“And Richard? I don’t normally tell guys this…but even though we’re not exclusive, I wanted you to know…you’re definitely on my short list.”

His beaming smile threatened to overpower the summer sun. “Thanks.”

“OK, bye!”

“Bye.” He hung up the phone and sat back in his chair, very pleased with himself. He waited until he was capable of thinking about anything but Rosaleen. It took a while.

Finally, he sat up and scanned over his office again. Time to prepare for tomorrow’s audit. He finally had enough income to overwhelm his deductions, and more public evidence of his abilities than he expected. He’d bring the newspaper article, as well as a printout of the writeup on the web site.

He actually found himself looking forward to the IRS audit. And if that wasn’t a sign of joy and inner peace, he’d like to know what was.