Richard’s face froze in terror as he looked hesitantly in the voice’s direction. Time seemed to stop as he waited for the inevitable. Then Tucson Sam, the self-styled superhero, strode into view, emerging triumphantly from the brush, his beaming smile as bright as a lighthouse. In the light, his full size leaped out like the host of a Japanese prank show; he could easily be six foot four, and was built like a lumberjack.

“You looked like you might have had that,” Sam declared, “but I figured you could do with a little help. I’d never forgive myself if you got hurt and I did nothing to stop it.”

“Thanks, but…what’s the deal? Do you just follow me around now?”

Sam’s smile faded into a pensive expression. “Have we met before?”

With a heartfelt sigh, Richard related the story of the nighttime adultery stakeout and nearly falling to his death from the scaffolding. But before he could finish, Sam’s eyes lit up, he put his hands on his hips in a jaunty pose, and burst into a spirited laugh, worthy of a campy medieval knight.

“Excellent, good fellow!” he proclaimed. “I knew our paths would cross again. I apologize for not recognizing you; I meet so many people in this line of work. Also…it’s dark at night.”

“What exactly are you doing here?” Richard asked. “Do you normally lurk in the woods?”

“Only when practicing my daytime stealth techniques,” Sam revealed. “Then I saw that suspicious character, and decided to tail him. Looks like my instincts were spot-on! Fortunately for you.”

Richard shook his head. “Isn’t that some major plot convenience.”

Sam smirked. “Isn’t it, though.”

They were silent for a moment. Sam looked down sadly. “I’m sorry if I screwed up your evidence that night.”

“I still won the case,” Richard related. “But the court had a good laugh at my expense.”

“Certainly, a noble spirit like yours can’t be brought down by such trivial events!” Sam exhorted, giving him a playful punch on the shoulder. “Besides, I saved your life that night, so we’re even. After today, though…you owe me one.”

Richard scowled. “So you do this to collect favors?”

Sam reared back, hemming and hawing for a moment. “Of course not; I do this out of the kindness of my heart, to strike a blow against wrongdoers, not to get some sort of reward. You don’t formally owe me a favor.”

Richard hung his head and let out a chuckle. “I’m sorry…you don’t deserve the third degree. I’m grateful you do what you do.”

Sam arched one eye. “Friends?” He held out his hand. Richard flashed a tight-lipped smile and shook his hand. Sam’s beaming smile broke out again.

Richard pondered Sam’s tan, safari-like outfit, featuring an unsettlingly large amount of Spandex. “Is this how you were dressed the other night?”

“Of course not!” Sam boomed. “I was wearing all black then. Obviously, I pick a camouflaging color that fits the situation. But it was still full-body Spandex – all the better for parkouring across the rooftops.”

A wave of uneasiness washed over Richard, and he shuddered. He was certain he didn’t want the answer to this question, but this was the time to ask it. “What exactly is the deal with the swim briefs? As in, wearing them on the outside.”

Sam’s eyes flashed confusion; he looked down at his outfit, then up. “Oh…you mean those. Well, it comes from early twentieth-century wrestlers and strongmen, and was done in the name of modesty. They wore tight-fitting outfits to show off their muscles, but it also showed off…other things…far too clearly. So the swim briefs, as you call them, are vastly preferred to the alternative.”

Richard blanched. “I never realized how thankful I should be for them.”

Sam pulled out his cell phone. “And besides, with proper accessories, they can be very stylish!” He swiped for a few moments then pointed the screen at Richard. “Here I am in what I call my ‘full dress uniform’.”

Richard gaped at the spectacle. He wondered if it was possible to cram a larger number of colors together, or if they would just blur together and form a mottled sort of gray. “Tucson Sam?” Richard asked. “More like Toucan Sam!”

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Sam looked miffed. “Why does everyone keep saying that?” He looked at his phone and winced. “I may have used too many colors.”

“Well, it certainly stands out,” Richard acknowledged. “Where was that picture taken?”

“The county fair,” Sam revealed. “It’s one of the few places where someone dressed like that doesn’t stand out. I got to express myself in public, and most people just thought I was some sort of carnival attraction.”

Sam’s face fell as he looked up to see Richard smirking. “Hey, come on. I saved you twice, and I won’t say you owe me, or ask for respect, but how about just cutting me some slack?”

“You’re right,” Richard concurred. “I have no right to be mean.”

Sam turned the phone back to Richard and swiped a few more times. “Besides, I had many lovely ladies ask to get their picture taken with me.” After showing several such photos, he put away his phone.

Sam looked Richard up and down. “We’re not so different, you and I.”

“No, no,” Richard cringed. “Please don’t say that.”

“But why? We might wear different clothes, but we both fight against bad guys! We’re on the same team!”

“Why didn’t you just become a private detective?”

Sam looked down at his outfit; when he looked up again, his grin was wide enough to split his face in two. “Isn’t it obvious?” He glanced at Richard’s suit. “Do you wear that because you want to, or because it’s the only way anyone will take you seriously?”

Richard sighed. “You got me there.” It was uncomfortable how often Sam had been right in this conversation. Richard wondered which one of them was really the crazy one.

“And I go around in public, finding people that need help, while you wait for them to come to you. So I fill a niche that you don’t.”

“Fine,” Richard conceded. “I have no legitimate reason to disrespect you. We’re on the same side.”

“Glad you agree!” Sam peered into the distance briefly. “Well, I don’t want to take up any more of your day. Evil is afoot, and it’s my duty to be even afooter! Is there anything else I can help you with before I take off?”

Crazy or not, Sam was definitely in touch with aspects of the real world that eluded Richard. “There is one thing,” he began.

Richard proceeded to tell the story of the cave, the glowing fungus, and the odd sound it made. Sam’s eyes grew wide, and as the story progressed, he became increasingly uneasy. By the end, he was shivering noticeably. He stumbled over to a nearby boulder and sat down.

“Please, take a seat,” he mumbled, motioning to Richard. “I apologize for taking the only good rock.” Richard chose a sloped one, sitting cross-legged to prop himself up on the angle, like a hyperminimalist kneeling chair, but without the padding.

“I had a really strange experience about six months ago,” he related. “There was this one shifty character I kept running into, but he would always elude me. It was the damnedest thing! I’d be on his tail, then turn a corner and suddenly he wasn’t there. But I noticed he followed the same route every time, so I ended up sketching out a map of it. It took a few attempts, but I was finally able to follow him to the end.” He swallowed hard before continuing. “And that’s when I found…the other world.”

“Huh? What other world?”

“I don’t really know,” Sam admitted. “It wasn’t in the air, or below ground; it seemed to share our space. I think it was some sort of parallel dimension. But I never really looked into it, or talked to anyone about it. The whole experience left me shaken.”

He turned to look at Richard. “But if it’ll help you with your case, I’m willing to take you there. Are you up for it?”

Richard stared nervously, as if he was watching himself plummet to Earth from ten thousand feet in the air. “I guess I have no choice,” he finally spoke. “I have no other leads.”

Sam chuckled. “Tough one, huh?”

“It’s a murder case, and although everyone involved could have done it, none of them seem to have actually done it,” Richard summarized. “I’m ready to believe that they all did it, and brought me along just for laughs.”

Sam slapped his knee. “Wow! That’s brutal! My cases, or what passes for them, are a lot simpler. Bad guy does something, they run, I catch them, and sometimes I get a reward from the crime tip fund.”

“Your approach certainly has its advantages,” Richard conceded.

Sam took a deep breath and exhaled. “Wow. I can’t believe I’m doing this. I’ve tried not to think about it ever since it happened. But maybe it’s time for a grand adventure! Especially now that I have a swarthy companion!”

Richard looked at his hands. “Huh? My complexion is pretty pale.”

Sam shifted uncomfortably. “No, I meant as in strong, stout, hale, swashbuckling. That kind of thing.”

Richard looked Sam in the eye. “Swarthy means dark-skinned.”

“It does?” Sam looked embarrassed. “Then I’ve been using that word wrong for years.” He brightened up. “Can we just settle on swashbuckling?”

Richard erupted into a rolling laugh. “Works for me!”

Sam beamed. “Great! Meet me at the corner of Alvernon and Baker at midnight.” He beheld Richard’s suit. “And wear something more appropriate. We could see action tonight!”

Richard swept his hands down his chest and past his waist. “But this is my action outfit!”

“I just don’t want you getting holes in your spiffy-looking suit. I recommend Spandex, but if you don’t have any…I don’t know, dress like a cowboy.”

He flipped Sam a friendly finger-pistol. “That I can do.”