Richard threaded his way through the busy aisles at the Asian restaurant. It was the peak of the lunchtime rush hour, and he would have preferred a less busy time, but she had agreed to see him, and he couldn’t let that opportunity pass. He searched frantically, his vision constantly obscured by laconic patrons and darting employees. Finally, he spotted her, sitting by herself, her surly aura detectable from a distance, her hair dyed to something resembling her natural color. His face beaming with joy, he quickly made for the table and sat down in his chair.

She looked up with a bored expression. “Well, if it isn’t the famous detective.”

“Hi Jan!” he exulted. “Wow, it’s great to see you again.”

“I wish I could say the same,” she grumbled. “I was really surprised to hear from you.”

“Oh, come on,” he chided. “You know my feelings for you haven’t diminished.” The waiter appeared and took their drink order; he asked for an iced tea, while she got her usual diet soda.

“No,” she clarified, “I mean, I didn’t hear about your big important case in the news. I tried to look for it, really.”

“Oh,” he muttered, fluttering his menu slightly. “Well. It’s probably not there yet.”

“But any day now?” she mocked. “Just as soon as the press decides to care?”

“Yeah,” he asserted. “Plus one or two other things. I’m meeting with my clients in a few hours, right after their rally.”

She leveled her icy gaze at him. “Have you even solved the case yet?”

He buried his nose in the menu. “Er…well…no, not exactly.”

She let out a frustrated moan. “As in, not at all? Damn it, you said you’d take me out after you solved it!”

“I’m really close; I can feel it!” he declared. “The case is like a weak wooden ceiling in a mine. And I’m poking at it feverishly with a big stick! I just know it’s going to give way any moment now!”

She rolled her eyes. “Isn’t that a vivid image. Can you even afford this lunch? Am I going to get stuck paying for it?”

“Of course not!” he promised. “I’ve got this. My case is funded for the duration, and I’ve already collected several days of pay. That’s more than enough to treat you like the wonderful lady you are.”

Her eyes narrowed. “I’ll believe it when I see it.”

“Besides,” Richard continued, “not everything here is expensive. Once you get past the sushi, it gets very reasonable.” He thumbed through the menu, finally arriving at a section that wasn’t in English. The pictures had changed too; no longer were they bright and cheery. Richard felt they seemed more ominous, but at least some of the prices were lower.

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Jan peered at his menu. “You don’t want any of that,” she informed. “I’ve been to this restaurant before, with someone actually from China. He said the only thing with legs they don’t eat are the tables and chairs.”

His eyes suddenly fixed on one photo; he sat there, unmoving. “Richard? Are you OK?” He pointed to an item; she smirked. “Yeah, they charge a lot for that. You’re not going to try that, are you?”

Richard flagged down a waiter. “What is this?” he asked, pointing to the photo.

“Fugu,” he answered. “Very exotic.”

“No, I mean…what’s this called in English?”

“That’s a blowfish.”

Richard’s eyes grew wide as he continued to stare at the photo. The waiter coughed politely and excused himself. His mouth dropped open as a beaming smile washed over his face. The stick suddenly found a weak spot in the wood, and all the evidence in his case, feeling like a few tons of mining debris, suddenly tumbled down over him, crushing him utterly and blotting out the light. He stared in fascination as it spontaneously assembled itself, forming a pattern that was only too clear in retrospect. The doubters could call it pareidolia if they wanted, but he knew he was a crack detective. And he had just proven it…again.

“Richard?” she scolded. “You’re getting that look again…the one I know all too well. You’re not about to ditch me, are you?”

“I got it!” he gushed. “It’s so obvious!” He smacked himself in the forehead. “How could I have been so stupid?”

“I was just asking myself the same thing,” Jan groaned.

He looked at his watch. “They haven’t left yet! I still have time!” He gawked at Jan, his eyes burning with revelation, before leaping out of his chair. “I…I’ll make it up to you.” In a flash, he sprinted toward the exit, neatly dodging patrons and waitstaff, and disappeared.

“Fine!” Jan stood up to yell after him. “Ditch me again! But we’re through! That was your last chance!”

She noticed at least half of the restaurant was looking at her. She collapsed into her chair and sobbed quietly.

“Excuse me, milady,” she heard a voice say. Jan looked up from her misery to see a portly young gentleman, dressed several decades out of date, sporting a fedora and a neatly trimmed beard. “I couldn’t help but notice that you’re free for lunch. May I join you?”

She threw him a withering look. “This really isn’t the time.”

“But I’ll pay for the whole thing!” he claimed, withdrawing a platinum credit card from his wallet and presenting it to her in a flourish. “Anything your heart desires!” He looked uncomfortable for a moment. “Just…don’t abuse the doggie bag.”

Her expression softened and she gestured to the seat across from her. “Today’s your lucky day.”

“Thank you, milady!” he boomed, managing to bow slightly as he sat down. “You are a most gracious companion.”

“I’ve heard that before,” she grumbled.

The waiter arrived with their drinks; Jan’s companion eyed what was before him, and a goofy smile spread over his face. “Oooh, iced tea!” He elongated his last word as if he was singing. “I have to be careful with this stuff; just a few sips, and I start acting crazyyyy!”

Jan let out a dejected cry and buried her face in her hands.