Richard felt a lump in his throat as he watched Sam walk away; he opened a door and motioned Richard to follow him. “We’re heading back to the ground.”

“Thank goodness,” Richard gushed as he followed. He wasn’t dead, but he sure felt like he was. Hopefully it was all downhill from here. For the moment, though, it was all downstairs.

After making a seemingly pointless loop through perpendicular hallways, they emerged from the front door. “May I ask how you decided to pursue this hobby?”

“Oh, it’s far more than a hobby,” Sam declared. “It’s more of a sacred calling.”

“So how did it start? Did you just wake up one day and decide you were a superhero?”

Sam walked down the street, turned two corners, and re-entered the building they had just left, through the back door. “Sort of. I was originally a Guardian Angel, patrolling the street at night with like-minded people. But one day they kicked me out. I was just too awesome for them.”

“Yeah…I can see that,” Richard deadpanned. “So how did it happen?”

Sam followed the same hallway loop, and they emerged once again from the front door. “One night, we were stopping a crime in progress, but one perp tried to make a break for it. I chased him down while the others held back. I couldn’t believe it! We’re out there to stop bad guys, and they were just going to let him go. So, fueled by righteous indignation, I caught him and held him for the police.”

Sam stopped and fumbled with the map, turning it ninety degrees, before crossing the street and ducking down a narrow alley. “Hey, that magic shop is still there,” he called out, pointing to a small business with a really bad location. “I remember, because it was about this time things started to get really weird.”

“Anyway,” he continued, “the perp turned out to be a rich brat, and tried to sue me for assault. The Guardian Angels immediately canceled my membership, citing legal liability. Seriously, what gives? Anyway, I had the last laugh. The judge, applying the principle of first offense, found in my favor, and ordered the rich snot to pay restitution. And given how snotty he was during the trial, he racked up a lot of penalties with the judge, and finally owed me a lot of money.”

They finished looping around the outside of the building and passed the magic shop again. “His rich parents, of course, were stuck with the bill. I realized, not having an extravagant lifestyle, that I could live the rest of my life on this money, if I was careful. That’s when I was bitten hard by the superhero bug, and the rest…is history!”

“Unbelievable,” Richard observed with complete honesty.

They stood on the corner at a wide intersection with poor lighting; Sam looked down all streets, noting any approaching cars. “Oh, it was just getting started. After my payday, the Guardian Angels actually contacted me again, expressed their oh-so-sincere regret for casting me out, and graciously offered to reinstate me…”

“If you brought the judgment money with you,” Richard finished.

Sam let out a booming laugh. “You saw that coming from a mile away, didn’t you? I told them where they could cram it, and I’ve been working on my own ever since. Sometimes I patrol by day, sometimes by night, but it’s my choice; I make my own hours.” He turned to grin at Richard. “So what do you think?”

“I find that…oddly inspirational,” Richard conceded.

“You’re darn right!” Sam looked around furtively. “OK, as soon as these last cars pass, look at the sky and tell me what you see.” Several seconds passed, but finally only the taillights were visible, receding into the distance. “Well?”

Richard looked at the sky. “Pretty much the same as it was before.”

Sam snorted. “Really? The moon was at first quarter earlier; now it’s barely even waxing. And yet the sky is lit the same.”

The narrative has been stolen; if detected on Amazon, report the infringement.

“I don’t really keep track of the phases of the moon,” Richard admitted.

Sam threw his hands up in frustration. “How can you be a private detective, and yet be so unobservant of what’s around you?”

“Sorry,” Richard sulked. “The phase of the moon has never figured into any of my cases.”

“Not as far as you know, you mean. Fine. Let’s just keep going.” Sam crossed the dark intersection diagonally and moved down one of the wide streets.

“Does it figure into yours?” Richard asked.

Sam stopped, turned around, and glared at Richard. “Of course! The phase of the moon affects what I’m able to do at night! Bright light is good for some things, darkness is good for others! That never occurred to you?”

Richard didn’t answer; he just stood there, looking glum.

Sam let out a huge sigh of exasperation. “Look, dude…I really went out of my way to help you tonight. I could be somewhere else, fighting crime. But instead, I’m showing you something I hoped to never see again, something that still scares the crap out of me. And not only do you show no gratitude…but you’re ignorant and hideously unprepared!” He pointed off into the distance. “I can stop this right now, never speak to you again, and write this off as a waste of a half hour. Or you can pull it together and we’ll finish this!” He got in Richard’s face, the full threat of his tall and burly frame now painfully apparent. “It’s up to you.”

Richard instantly felt terrible. “I’m sorry. You’re right, I’ve been a complete pain in your ass. I really don’t know what’s come over me tonight.” Except the humiliating way that Rosaleen had ditched him. And learning that this self-styled superhero, someone who brought to the table all the gravitas of a jive-talking robot, was actually a better person than he. “I’ll straighten up and fly right. Can you forgive me?”

Sam stepped back, and without warning, flung a punch straight at Richard’s face. His fist stopped millimeters before Richard’s nose; the wind from it, all by itself, seemed enough to blow him over. But Richard just stood there and looked at the gargantuan fist blocking his view. It withdrew, revealing Sam’s chuckling face. “Very nice. You didn’t even flinch! You are worthy after all.” His face became caring. “I accept your apology. Now let’s get going.”

Sam strode away, ducking down another alley. After a short pause, Richard followed. He didn’t want to admit that he avoided flinching only because he had been too preoccupied with moping.

Sam opened the front door to another building and walked inside. He turned to face Richard. “This is the final leg,” he declared. “When we leave this building, we’ll be somewhere else. Are you ready?”

“Absolutely,” Richard asserted. “Lead the way, stalwart companion!”

“That’s what I want to hear!” Sam declared as he walked along a perimeter hallway. “I’ll have you talking like a medieval knight before you know it.”

“I can think of worse fates,” Richard snickered.

They reached a stairway at the corner of the building and began climbing. “Anyway, my new policy of chasing down perps and apprehending them didn’t work out so well at first. I didn’t get sued again, but the charges were dropped on the first few.”

Richard followed Sam down a perimeter hallway on the third floor. “Following the law on apprehensions is very important. Otherwise, my perps won’t get booked properly by the police.”

Sam sighed. “Yeah, my perps get booked properly…now.” They entered a different corner stairwell and went down a floor. “At one point, the police took me into custody, and sat me down for a stern talking-to.” They walked along another perimeter hallway to the next corner stairwell. “To make a long story short, I had to get trained. I ended up getting my associate degree in criminal justice from the community college; that gave me the background I needed, and taught me how to avoid the mistakes that let my perps walk free. Things have been much better since then.”

They ascended a floor and walked down the final perimeter hallway. “It seems the police would rather co-opt my activities, instead of opposing them. I thought that was very forward-thinking.” He turned to look at Richard. “Is that how they are with private detectives?”

“Sometimes,” Richard informed. “They ask me to look into things if they can’t spare the time, and pay me a bounty if I do useful work for them.”

Sam smiled. “Me too, but it’s not much, and only if there’s a conviction. They said they don’t want to give me an incentive to bring them every random person in town.”

They reached the fourth corner stairway and descended to the ground floor. “Do the police ever refer to you as their…little brother?”

Sam let out a belly laugh. “Of course not! That would be humiliating. But maybe it’s only because I’m so tall.” He stopped suddenly and beheld Richard. “They don’t do that to you, do they?”

Richard didn’t answer; he just stared at the ground. “Wow,” Sam sympathized. “I’m sorry to hear that.”

He strode forward, heading toward the front door where they entered originally. “But this should cheer you up!” He bounded outside and stood triumphantly. “What do you think?”

Richard froze; his jaw dropped and his unblinking eyes glazed over.