Time, a concept once rigidly defined by the rotation of planets and the cycles of nature, now flowed at the whim of gods. A month and fifteen days passed in the blink of an eye, a mere blip on the radar of eternity. Across the newly forged Fam-Squad Empire, the wheels of progress turned with a speed and efficiency that would have been unimaginable under the previous regime. Cities were rebuilt, infrastructure modernized, and the populace, their minds slowly but surely adjusting to the new world order, went about their lives with a cautious optimism, their fears tempered by the undeniable benefits of a society ruled by competent, albeit slightly terrifying, overlords.

The secondary world, a once-toxic wasteland ravaged by the remnants of the Shit-Goddess's malice and the incompetence of two nations' stupidity and one nation's carelessness, underwent a transformation of epic proportions. Radiation scrubbing, a process that would have taken centuries using conventional methods, was completed in a matter of days, thanks to Yui's mastery of the Physical Law and Reality Law domains.

Vast tracts of land, once barren and lifeless, albeit only for that short amount of time, now teemed with newly engineered flora and fauna, this sheer evidence to Kirito's genius-level intellect and the boundless possibilities of divinely-enhanced technology. Asuna, as genius as the aforementioned god, contributed with her divinely enhanced plans for expansion.

And as the citizens of the empire marveled at the speed and scale of these changes, a question lingered in their minds: What other feats of power, what other awe-inspiring displays of divine might, would their new rulers unleash upon the world?

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"Yoink," Kirito said aloud, a mischievous grin spreading across his face as he focused his will on the newly conquered Earth variant. The world, a swirling blue and green sphere, shimmered, then vanished from its original position in the multiverse. It reappeared beside the two other worlds we had already claimed, settling into its new orbit with a disconcerting lack of gravitational disruption or spatial distortion.

My own powers, fueled by the domains of administration and reality manipulation, hummed in response to Kirito's actions. I gently nudged the recalcitrant planet into its designated position, smoothing out any wrinkles in the fabric of spacetime and ensuring the delicate balance of its ecosystems remained intact. It was surprisingly easy. Too easy. I mean, I was literally telling reality what to do, and it was just obeying.

I'm telling a damn planet where it's allowed to exist, and it just listens. The thought echoed in my mind, a blend of astonishment and amusement. What the hell?

'No, In fact, you are still in the same place and rotating. Just ignore the fact that you are in a geostationary orbit over an imaginary other earth that totally doesn't exist. Trust me. The sun is still there, don't forget to get those nonexistent rays! Oh yes, the planet doesn't freeze or burn, the sun is equally good on both sides!'

The sheer absurdity of it all, the irrationality of wielding such power, hit me with the force of a rogue asteroid. I mean, I could literally declare that the sky was green and the oceans were made of cheese, and reality would just shrug and say, 'Okay, sure, whatever you say.' I could rewrite the laws of physics, reshape continents, even make puppies rain from the sky if I wanted to. The possibilities were endless, terrifying, and utterly hilarious.

My mind reeled, struggling to comprehend the implications of such casual control over the fundamental laws of existence. I had to force down a giggle, a bubble of hysterical laughter threatening to erupt from my chest. I can't laugh. Not yet. Gotta keep a straight face. Make him squirm a little.

I turned to Kirito, my expression carefully blank, and fixed him with a deadpan stare. "Did you just unironically say 'yoink' out loud as – you know what, I'm used to you at this point. Never mind."

I teleported to my quarters, then, I couldn't hold it back any longer. A snort escaped my lips, followed by a wave of giggles that I desperately tried to stifle. Oh, gods, I can't breathe. This is too much.

Kirito, bless his clueless heart, looked utterly baffled from my mind's eye. "What does that mean?!" he demanded, his voice heavy with a mix of confusion and irritation.

I simply shook my head, a mischievous smile on my lips as I giggled uncontrollably.

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Asuna and I strolled into the throne room, the polished chrome floors reflecting our distorted images as we walked. I was still stewing over her reaction to my "yoink" comment. Seriously, what was so wrong with that? It was the perfect word to describe our casual appropriation of an entire planet!

"Before anything else, I need to know! What's wrong with 'yoink'?" I demanded, turning to Asuna, my voice tinged with a mix of confusion and indignation.

Asuna, just grinned at me, her eyes twinkling with amusement. And then, she burst into giggles, her laughter echoing through the vast chamber. I crossed my arms, trying to maintain a stern expression, but the sight of her doubled over, her shoulders shaking with mirth, was contagious. I couldn't help but smile, a warmth spreading through me that had nothing to do with my divine powers.

Finally, she calmed down, wiping a tear from her eye. "Naw," she said, her voice still laced with laughter, "I was just messing with you, dumbass. Seriously, you're such a genius that I sometimes forget how vulnerable you are to me messing with you."

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My smile vanished, replaced by a look of mock horror. "Vulnerable?" I sputtered. "Me? To you?"

Before our playful banter could escalate, Yui intervened, her voice echoing through the room. "As much as I would enjoy continuing to observe my parents'" She paused for a moment. "flirtatious interactions," she said, her chocked full of a dry amusement, "we have a multiverse to conquer. Specifically, a world to select from a list of worlds that I've deemed sufficiently safe for observation."

She gestured towards the holographic display that had materialized before us, a swirling galaxy of countless worlds shimmering within its depths. "I've detected a few problematic worlds with divinities far more solidified than ours. Ones that would, to put it mildly, eradicate us with extreme prejudice. So, I've removed those from the list."

She paused, a mischievous glint entering her eyes. "Now, how about a world soon to be ruled by a skeleton man with excessive power and a penchant for megalomania? A skeleton man whose violent tendencies and general evilness would make Stalin look like a cuddly teddy bear? And let's not forget his subordinates, whose combined personalities can only be accurately described as the unholy offspring of Hitler, the Devil, and Kim Jong-un. Intrigued?"

"That one sounds too damn fun to pass up!" I exclaimed, a thrill of excitement coursing through me. "Ruining a super-evil skeletor's plans by just existing? Awesome!" I grinned, picturing the look on Bone Daddy's face when we showed up and effortlessly dismantled his carefully crafted schemes.

My enthusiasm, however, was quickly tempered by the look in Yui's eyes. She was frowning, her brow furrowed in a way that suggested a hefty dose of annoyance simmering beneath the surface.

"Okay," I said, my voice softening slightly, "what's with the irritated look?"

"There's a catch, Papa," Yui said, her voice laced with a hint of reluctance. "We can't just 'yoink' the planet into our cluster until you establish a beachhead of divinity in that world. Think of it as claiming territory for your divine powers to take root."

She paused, her frown deepening. "Also, I can't accompany you on this trip. I need to stay here and oversee the other worlds, make sure no one decides to engage in any more 'poking the nuke-analogue with a poop-covered stick' activities. Your divinities will be severely reduced as well. Some of them will be completely unavailable until you return. In exchange, they'll be even more powerful when you get back, though."

Asuna, ever the pragmatist, nodded thoughtfully. "So, it's a working vacation, then," she mused, a glint of excitement flickering in her eyes.

"I'm sold!" I declared, my enthusiasm returning full force. A little challenge never hurt anyone. Besides, the thought of facing off against a skeletal overlord and his band of merry psychopaths was too good to pass up.

Yui grinned, her annoyance fading as she sensed our determination. "Okay, then! Enjoy your stay on 'New World.' Yes, that's actually what they call the place. I don't get to name these planets; the residents do."

Then, with a snap of her fingers and a wave of disorienting energy, Asuna and I found ourselves standing on a dirt road, overlooking a small village. A village that was, judging by the billowing smoke and the terrified screams echoing through the air, currently under attack.

"Well," Asuna said, her hand already reaching for her rapier, "that certainly didn't take long."

"Looks like someone's already started the 'fucking around' part of our 'find out' policy," I replied, my own hand instinctively drifting towards my sword.

It seemed our work was never done.

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And so, an accidentally evil super-lich, blessed with an abundance of magical power and an unfortunate lack of common sense, found himself at the helm of a rapidly escalating conquest. His subordinates, a collection of overzealous, power-hungry individuals who mistook his vague pronouncements for grand strategic directives, took it upon themselves to expand upon his nonexistent plans, executing those plans in his name with an enthusiasm that bordered on the psychotic.

Negligent homicide, wanton destruction, and a slew of other unspeakable crimes became daily occurrences, all because the poor, misunderstood lich was too terrified to utter those simple words that could have prevented so much unnecessary suffering: "Stop everything!"

After all, telling your subordinates "No, that is not what I meant" and "Don't do that!" were perfectly normal, even encouraged, management techniques.

But alas, social anxiety, even in its undead form, was a powerful force.

So it went in another time, another place, so it would go rather differently this time..

Thus, our heroes would eventually destroy him for the act of trying to go about the act of killing everyone by accident by proxy by accident.

The scale of that 'Everyone?' only time would tell..