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The Misplaced Hero: What Do You Mean, The Demon Lord Has Already Been Defeated?
Book 2, Chapter 21: The Hero is Tamed, the Novice Mage is Furious

Book 2, Chapter 21: The Hero is Tamed, the Novice Mage is Furious

“EEEEEEEEEEEEEE!” the scream rent the air as Jack framed himself in the cottage’s doorway.

He spun in place, FoeSmite coming clear of her sheath in his belt pack as though levitating. He brought her to high guard, searching for the danger. He could see nothing he shouldn’t. Moreover, Detect Life showed him only the creatures he’d known to have been out there all along.

Behind him, Chi’s sister continued her uproar.

“He’s here, sister,” Cha cried, clinging to Chi. “He’s found us! We must flee!”

Chi cradled her sister’s head against her breast, struggling to calm her enough that she’d listen. “Shhh, baby, shhhh ” she crooned. “Don’t worry, you’re safe, baby girl, you’re in no danger. I’ve completely tamed him, don’t you see? Shhhh. It’s alright.”

Jack turned back towards the cottage, a quizzical expression on his face. The sisters were jabbering in a language that made Gaelic sound like the cooing of doves, and which he understood not at all. Chi quietly, her injured sister with considerably more volume.

The others seemed confused, looking this way and that. Only Rosaluna seemed to have an idea of what might be going on, and she didn’t look happy about it.

He noted that, along with the injured girl now being awake and aware, they were no longer connected by the hose. That was good. The mages were still working, despite their confusion, though, so she was obviously not out of the woods yet.

“Jack, honey,” Chi called to him, noticing the younger magical girl’s scowl out of the corner of her eye. “Would you tell Cha you’re not here to kill her, please?”

“What?” he stiffened. “Why would I want to kill your sister?”

“The bus thing?” she reminded him. “Remember?”

“Oh,” he caught himself. “Yeah, I guess she was there with you, wasn’t she?”

Cha had finally stopped her wailing and was looking back and forth between them, puzzled. “Wait a minute,” she hissed suddenly, glaring at her sister. “You said you were over that!”

Chi hugged her tighter. “I lied,” she grinned into her hair. “What was I supposed to do, tell the inquisitor, that I was in love with the hero? Don’t be ridiculous.”

Jack started to resheath FoeSmite, but hesitated. Then he shrugged and turned back towards the yard. He hurled her with as much force as he could muster, pausing long enough to see the staff vanish into the forest before turning back towards the interior.

Why on Mund did you just do that? Rosaluna demanded.

He shrugged. “Not sure,” he gave his head a shake. “Got the impression she wanted to be out there for awhile.”

She? She raised an eyebrow. You’re speaking to her now?

He shook his head again. “Nah,” he said. “Still just impressions.”

And yet, ‘she’?

“I said I don’t talk to her,” he corrected. “Millie seems like she’s always jabbering at her. They apparently hold long conversations regarding the weather, the injustices of the world, boys, flowers, magic, you know how girls are.” he grinned. “I get most of it second hand, but I’ve been let in on the particulars and my place in them.”

Have you now? She wondered.

“Yes,” he held up a hand. “I shouldn’t have cut down her tree, I’m an ignorant lout who was obviously raised in the swamp by feral gophers, or maybe beavers. Possibly termites. Blah, blah, blah. I get it.”

She hid a smile and went back to her work.

Chi, meanwhile, was still trying to convince her sister that he wasn’t there to kill them both, despite his having hurled his only visible weapon far away. “Jack was the one who dealt with the bomb, li’l Sis,” she told her. “He risked his life for you, just like the rest of them here.”

Then she looked up at Jack, tilting her head to keep the younger magical girl in her peripheral vision. “So, sailor,” she winked up at him. “How ‘bout showing my sister how well I’ve got you tamed?” She puckered her lips and tapped them with an index finger.

He quirked an eyebrow and tilted his own head, wondering what game she was playing now? But it wasn’t like she was asking him to fetch her slippers or anything. He approached cautiously, leaned in and kissed her, frowning as she turned her head partially away.

Tiarraluna bolted from the cottage, hands to her face, and Rosaluna started in scowling volcanically.

“What was that about?” he asked Chi low-voiced.

“Testing a theory,” she sighed before turning full face to him and recapturing his mouth for a much more thorough kiss.

“There,” she said to her cringing sister once they’d separated. “You see? He’s practically domesticated.”

Rosaluna seemed much less amused. Her scowl promised an uncomfortable conversation in the devil girl’s future.

“What's the prognosis?” Jack addressed Rosaluna from his position beside the devil girls.

She will likely live, the old woman replied tersely. But she’s in for a long span of healing. They appear to be a strong people, but she is, in many ways, far more damaged than you were when I found you.

“How long, d’you suppose?” he asked, turning to give Cha another critical look.

I won’t make the same mistake I did with you, she told him. She’ll be here until Glory, at least. Perhaps Awakening, before I’ll feel comfortable sending her away.

“Chi?” he asked, face troubled.

“The Dread Lord knows how to hurt us,” she grated back. “And he enjoys practicing.”

It was near morning when Rosaluna heaved a great breath and settled back on her knees, lowering her hands for the first time in hours.

Jack, unbidden, brought her both a mana potion and a healing elixir.

Mohrdrand soon followed suit. “She’s stable, at least,” he husked, voice ragged. He’d been murmuring incantations for going on nine hours. “There is little more we can do at this point.”

Jack crossed over to him, handing over two more bottles, one eyebrow going up in mute question.

“There is only so much the body will tolerate at any given moment,” Mohrdrand explained. “Particularly a body that’s undergone the prolonged and directed destruction the girl’s has.

“We shall continue once her system has had a chance to react to what we’ve already done.”

Unauthorized duplication: this narrative has been taken without consent. Report sightings.

“Anything I can do?” Jack wondered, his eyes on the devil girls sleeping arm in arm on the narrow bed.

Not at the moment, Rosaluna answered as the old wizard was chugging restoratives. For now, all that any of us can do is wait. She gave him a once over and chucked her head in the direction of the door. You look ready to fall over yourself, young hero, she commented. Perhaps you should hie yourself off to the stable and find a nice pile of hay to collapse into.

Good advice, which he followed. Tiglund was already stretched out when he got there, and the place wasn’t all that big, so he hied himself out back to his old nemesis instead, hauling his bedroll clear of his belt pouch on the way.

He could feel FoeSmite at the edge of his awareness, radiating contentment, so he left her out in the woods for now. He had, he supposed, sufficient high ranking wizards around to attend to anything that might jump out of the gloom at him. Then he laughed at himself, and hauled the jaeger drop sword out of his pouch, laying it alongside the bedroll before climbing in. No sense being stupid just for practice.

The sun was high in the sky when he came awake. He wasn’t sure whether it was the heat or the annoying buzzing of the fat, shambling fly that was circling his head. Or, maybe it was something else. Considering how many people were supposed to be around, the place was surprisingly quiet.

Brushing the fly away with a little added zap from a fingertip, he pulled himself up onto an arm to look around.

The Runstable’s was still there. Somebody had moved the horses, probably Tiglund, as they were now grazing further out. No sign of Tiglund, himself. In fact, no sign of anybody at all. Even Bob had made himself scarce.

Shifting to his other side, he nearly fell flat on his face, scrabbling to stiffen his arm before face planting. Looking down, he saw that FoeSmite had inexplicably found its way to his side without being summoned. He’d set his palm down directly on her shaft, which had, of course, rolled under his weight.

Then he saw what lay beside her. It was unmistakably what had remained of the ash sapling he’d chopped down and had fashioned the staff, waster, and dagger from. And it bore the same coloration and sheen of FoeSmite herself.

He laid a finger along the flat of the longest piece, the half of the trunk he’d meant to fashion into a bow all those many months ago. It felt exactly like FoeSmite. Which meant that the enchantment had somehow bled over to it like it had with the pieces he’d carved. Which meant that there’d be no way for him to work it into anything beyond what it already was, which was scrap wood.

Shaking his head and heaving a sigh, he rolled clear of his bedroll. He’d wonder what the crazy meliad was up to when he had more time. Rolling the bedroll, he stored it and the jaeger drop sword in his belt pouch. With a shrug, he followed suit with the ash remnants. There was plenty of room. Maybe when he got back to town, he’d have Millie ask her what she was up to.

The first person he saw upon entering the cottage was Tiarraluna. She spared him an instant’s hard glare and pushed wordlessly past him out into the yard. What was that about?

The old mages were still sleeping before the cold fireplace. The devil girls still slumbered on the bed, with Bob snuggled behind Chi’s knees. Apparently, warms trumped distrust. Nor was Luciandro to be found. The only movement in the place was that of the other mice, who were going about whatever it was they did.

He stumbled outside with the notion of heading for the well, or maybe the privy. No sign of Tiarraluna out here. Or Tiglund, for that matter.

He had a fire going in the stone circled pit out front, and a pan over the flames, a dozen eggs sheening over on its surface. He’d laid metal grates alongside the edge of the pit, thick slabs of bread laid on them toasting. A row of bacon slices hung over a spit on the far side of the fire, and two pots sat at the edges of the coals, one of them filled with bubbling coffee, the other with water for tea.

He heard a rustling behind him in the direction of the cottage, and Mohrdrand stumbled past on his own way to the privy.

“Thought this would get you up,” Jack grinned.

“I wish it hadn’t,” Mohrdrand complained. “I was more weary than hungry.” then his stomach ruined his complaint by rumbling loud enough to have frightened the horses had they been just a little closer.

Jackson was inside, waving a loaded plate gently before her face when Rosaluna’s eyes opened. She frowned for a moment, but then relaxed. Perhaps she has tamed you, she grumbled without heat.

“What?”

Nothing, she smiled quietly before struggling to her feet and heading outside.

Jack handed her plate to Mohrdrand who was just now reentering the building.

He was approaching the bed with the devil girls on it when he noticed that Chi had her eyes open and was watching him, a small, secret smile on her face, one hand gently skritching behind Bob’s ear.

“What?” he repeated.

“Nothing,” she came back. “Just thinking about how even the greatest of heroes can be domesticated.”

Domesticated? Tamed? “I just made breakfast,” he frowned. “Don’t read too much into it. In fact, the food’s on the fire, go make your own plate.”

She giggled and eased over her sister’s still slumbering form, holding out a hand to be helped up. Slipping him a kiss once she was upright, she pressed her body against him. “You’re not going to feed me, my hero?”

He smacked her on her behind by way of answer, seeing her on her way.

The injured demon still didn’t look good, but she at least looked a little more peaceful. Her breathing was more or less regular, as was her pulse, although he had no basis for knowing whether it was fast, slow, or just right. It was pretty clear that Rosaluna had done something to quell the pain. He remembered how effective she was at that from his own experience.

Back outside, everyone was gathered around the fire, the older folks sitting in the two chairs beside the door, the younger ones in the grass. Bob had vanished. Tiglund had finally shown himself, and was munching away at his food. Still no sign of Tiarraluna, though, and he was starting to worry.

Chi handed him a plate loaded with eggs, bacon, and a couple of thick slabs of heavily buttered toast, along with a mug filled with black coffee. “Sorry,” she said. “I know you prefer sugar, but, if there’s any around, I don’t know where it might be found.”

“Don’t worry,” he assured her. “I always have a bit with me. Need some?”

Jack was thinking as he ate, about a few things that had him puzzled. “Rosaluna?” he asked.

Yes?

Balancing his plate on a knee, he fished the chain he’d taken from the pack free of his belt pouch. “Recognize this?” he asked.

She gave it some study before nodding. The chain from the collar, yes? She sent.

“Yep,” he nodded. “Did you, perchance, check it out at any point?”

Check it out? She seemed confused. A cold iron chain so far as I could gather, she observed.

Jack slid the chain through his hands until he got to the end that hadn’t been connected to the collar. He held it up, not really expecting her to see any detail. “Cold iron with a braided steel cable fed through the middle,” he confirmed. “And this end, I’m guessing, was the one that was interfacing with the portal.”

And? She wondered.

“The iron is melted,” he told her. “It ran like hot butter, and fused with the steel. Rosaluna, what in the hell did you use on that thing?”

She favored him with a frown. Something of my own which I developed a very long time ago, in order to face things one should not face, she sent grimly. A combination of elemental wind, fire, and raw mana channeled through an encasing sheath of lightning. Not particularly finesseful or efficient, but effective for all of that.

He took a few moments to run that combination through his head. Then he blinked and whistled. Mohrdrand’s brow was furrowed as well.

“What?” Chi wondered.

“Sounds like a plasma bolt,” Jack told her. To Rosaluna, “a bolt hot enough to set the very air on fire, yeah?”

She grinned at him. Very good, Jackson, she sent. I am once more impressed at your wit. Yes, all within the path of the bolt, including the air, is consumed.

Jack whistled again, and dropped the chain back into his belt pouch. The old woman was one scary piece of work.

“I don’t suppose you’d be willing to show me that one?” Chi wondered.

Tiarraluna still hadn’t made an appearance by the time Jack had finished his second cup of coffee, and he decided it was time to address it. “Rosaluna?” he asked.

Yes, Jackson?

“Any idea what’s going on with Button?”

She fixed him with a momentary glare before catching herself. Do you understand what, if any, significance yesterday held, Jackson? Her sending was disapproving.

He was confused. Obviously, she meant something other than the whole ordeal over Chi’s sister. “Ah....”

Perhaps a hint will help? Her jaw tightened. Today is the sixth day of Summer’s Dawn.

“Oh, hell,” he slapped his forehead, his face falling into a grimace.

“What?” Chi asked, alarmed.

“Her birthday,” Jack groaned. “She turned sixteen yesterday, and I’ve been so busy on my big project, I forgot what friggin’ month it was. And so I didn’t bring her anything.”

Oh, Rosaluna corrected him. You brought her something, alright.

Chi had both hands to her face now, covering her eyes, head down. “I swear, Rosaluna,” she husked. “I didn’t know.”

I’m well aware, the old woman nodded. Jackson, however....

“I’d better find her and explain, Jack started to take his feet.

You had better stay well clear of her, Rosaluna corrected sternly. For both of your sakes.

“I’ll go, Chi announced.

Rosaluna started to protest, but Chi shook her head. "It’s mine to do, Lady. It was my fault, after all.”

“Your fault?” Jack wondered. “What was your fault?”

She stared at him for a moment, eyes hard. “Falling for a clueless ape,” she told him. “I should have known better.” but then she leaned in and kissed him before taking her feet.

I caution you, Rosaluna sent after her. Her name is Tiarraluna. I would strongly advise you not call her Button.

“What?” Jack repeated to those gathered after she’d left the yard. He got no answer.