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The Misplaced Hero: What Do You Mean, The Demon Lord Has Already Been Defeated?
Book 2, Chapter 13: The Demon visits the Adventurer’s Guild

Book 2, Chapter 13: The Demon visits the Adventurer’s Guild

The knock gave Iktchi-Chi a start. She’d been dozing in her comfy chair again. She rubbed at her eyes as she looked around. Sunlight poured in through the windows, highlighting the dust motes dancing in the air. Mid-afternoon, she decided.

She heaved herself up out of the seat and moved to the door, yawning. A hand on the door panel told her who was outside. Her brows lowered. Opening the door, she found herself confronted by Able Norley. And his hair was combed. That couldn’t be good.

“Able,” she greeted him suspiciously.

He smiled wide and waved cheerfully. “Good day, Lady Chi,” he grinned. “I’ve been sent to convey you to the village, post haste, and with the utmost care.”

Worse and worse. “What are you up to, Able?” she wondered.

“Why,” he gestured behind him to the wagon he’d once before used to fetch her into the village. “Just following the mayor’s orders.”

“Fine,” she sighed. “Give me a few moments,” and she closed the door, pausing to lean her back against its inner surface. Now what were they up to?

What they were up to was a party. The square was lined with benches, tables, and stalls, makeshift decorations of flowers and vines lining everything. In the square’s center, somebody had set up a long trellis table and piled it high with a mountain of cakes and pies on a precarious array of lesser constructions.

What seemed to be the entire village population were crowded into the square, all facing the south gate. Chi nearly took off for the hills the moment she spied them. “What’s going on, Able?” she hissed. Able remained silent, his grin threatening to tear his face in half.

No sooner had their wagon crossed completely through the gate than the entire mob began shouting and waving, some of them whistling in high spirits, others clapping as hard as they could slam their hands together.

The mayor and his wife stepped forward out of the crowd, followed by the Oaks family, Samus at the forefront. Able pulled the wagon up before them, bowed, and jumped clear.

“Happy anniversary, Lady Chi!” the mayor belted out with his best volume. Behind him, the crowd followed suit. “Happy anniversary, Lady Chi!” with a deafening roar.

Chi sat still for a moment, stunned. Anniversary?

“Mayor Longhan walked up and held out his hand to help her down. “One year ago, today,” he hollered loud enough for the whole crowd to hear as she stepped down, his head turned half toward them. “Our prayers were answered, and a powerful adventuress arrived to save us! To protect us! Our very own hero! Lady Iktchi-Chi!”

The crowd burst into cheers and applause once more.

Chi was one heartbeat from leaking blood from her face, her blush was so deep. Both hands were at her cheeks, and tears were brimming from her orange-red lava eyes.

Samus stepped forward very deliberately, and, with both hands, offered up a bouquet of flowers that must have weighed half as much as she did. Chi bent to take them, wondering when the demented mayor had come up with this idea, and how he’d managed preparations without her having caught even an inkling of its implementation.

Turning from him after patting Sam on the head, she tilted her head and gave him the eye. He laughed it off.

“I’ve officially declared today a local holiday," Mayor Longhan told her easily. “Nothing you can do about it. There are gifts floating around in the crowd, which you’ll no doubt receive throughout the day as their givers happen across you. Accept them with grace. You do, indeed, deserve them, each and every one.” he gave her the eye in return. “Now go. Enjoy.” And he bowed himself away.

* * *

The knock on the door this time didn’t even cause a shiver. She was too tired and too bloated with food. She’d started the morning hung over, but fortunately hangovers were child’s play for even Minor Self Healing, and her skill far surpassed that tier.

The party had lasted well into the early hours, and distilled beverages had flowed like water. She’d eaten more confections than she had ever in her entire life consumed in so short a span. And dinner had been a marvelously prepared feast of wild game, vegetables, and four entire sides of beef barbequed over a pit, and slathered with some sort of sauce the recipe for which must surely have been pilfered from the gods themselves.

“It’s open,” she called.

Mayor Longhan entered, moving carefully, his face a little green. He’d been wandering around the square offering up toasts and pouring libations for as long as the crowd had held out, and well into those hours after the timid or cautious had quit the field.

Chi gestured to the table without moving, and he stumbled over to take a seat. “I don’t suppose you’ve brewed any tea?” he wondered low voiced.

“Coffee,” she told him, giving a half-hearted wave. “On the stove.”

The mayor stumbled into the kitchen and laid a hand on the pot, casting blearily about for a cup.

“Shelf above the stove,” Chi mumbled without either moving her head or opening her eyes.

He nodded and poured himself a cup. Spying a jar with an embossed bee on its surface, he reached for it and drizzled honey into his coffee. Finished, he set the cup on the table and collapsed onto the chair, wrapping his arms around the cup. Fisting both hands, he stacked his fists and rested his forehead against the upper, his nose nearly in the brew.

“Why are you here, Marbry?” Chi asked. “Come to repent? Beg my forgiveness for that stunt yesterday? Hiding from your wife over the fool you made of yourself last night?”

“I regret nothing,” he groaned into his coffee.

“Then why are you here, Marbry?”

He lifted his head just enough to get the cup to his lips before lowering it again. “Wandering bird showed up this morning,” he said. “Brought a message from the Lady Rosaluna.”

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Chi groaned.

“Here,” the mayor held them out. When she made no move to come and get them, he scowled and teetered to his feet, bringing them to her, along with a faintly glowing pendent on a golden chain.

She broke the seal of the first message and unrolled it with some trepidation, sure she wasn’t going to be happy with its contents.

image [https://i.imgur.com/hkpLmgI.png]

She carefully rerolled the message and tapped it against her knee as she examined the pendent. Golden setting, she thought. Golden chain. Extravagance, or was Rosaluna under the false impression that silver would harm her? The charm seemed simple enough. It would, no doubt, allow her to travel the roads and enter the towns without the unpleasant itching of the wards. That was nice of the old woman.

The second message wasn’t addressed to her specifically, but to someone named Borea Jonkins, who was apparently the guildmaster of the Mokkelton Adventurer’s Guild. She toyed for a moment with the notion of breaking the seal, but decided against it. She had a good idea of what it was in any case.

“Couple of wagonloads of trade goods left for Mokkelton this morning,” Mayor Longhan advised her from his chair at the table. “It’s just about a five day trip for them. You can probably join them on Hoffsday morning and ride the last little way in with them. No sense you riding the whole of the way at the pace they’ll be setting when you can take a couple of days to get ready and make it there by air in less than a day.”

“You been reading my mail, Marbry?” she wondered.

He fished a separate scroll out of his pocket. “I got a message as well,” he said.

She scowled down at the scroll in her hand. She still didn’t want to go, but the old woman was correct. If the Dark Lord was flooding Mund with flits, it would eventually learn of her presence. And if she was still wearing the collar.... She shivered violently, hugging herself and struggling to remain calm.

* * *

Chi stood in her yard, staring wistfully at her front door, wondering if she’d ever see it again. She’d grown to love it here. The only place in her life she’d ever known happiness.

She’d made her arrangements, said her goodbyes. If, for some reason, she was unable to return, the farm would go to Samus, the one person the wards swathing the house would allow passage. And while she’d be taking a portion of her wealth with her, there was still a small fortune inside. She’d been busy, and hadn’t been spending much.

With a final wave, for her home did indeed have a soul, and she did love it, she turned and took to the air.

* * *

Mokkelton was still a good five lenn off in the distance when Chi the adventurer made her way to the highway's edge bright and early on Hoffsday morning. She’d caught a quick nap in the trees to the north before changing forms and into her adventurer’s clothing. She was still carrying the drugand’s jagged backed sword. It was clumsy and inelegant, but she’d somehow never gotten around to replacing it. She was, at least, now carrying it in an actual scabbard, hanging from an actual weapons belt.

She waved cheerily as the wagons from Tumblebrook trundled towards her up the road. The drivers and guards waved back.

The lead wagon hove to with its front wheels even with her position. The driver tipped his hat. “Mayor said we might see you today, Lady Chi,” he grinned. “All dressed up for town, too, huh?”

She looked down, puzzled for a moment before she realized what he’d meant. “Yes,” she laughed. “I thought I might cause a stir if I showed up all red, horned, and bat-wingy.”

He shrugged. “Can’t see why,” he came back. “Yeller haired girls is a copper common a bunch, but try and find a purty red gal with wings, and you’ll be searchin’ for awhile.”

She grinned and waved a dismissive hand. "I’m too old for you to be flirting with, Gart,” she told him. “Room in the back?”

“There’s bundled furs in the back wagon,” he told her. “Be more comfortable back there.”

She nodded and headed off.

“Comin’ up on it,” the driver leaned his head into the canvas covered bed of the wagon and alerted Chi. She thanked him and climbed out from beneath the hide she’d covered herself with and once more donned her adventurer form, shrugging into her adventurer’s clothes and new white leather coat.

The gatekeeper, by this time, knew the teamsters from Tumblebrook and waved, smiling as they lumbered up to the gatehouse. Gart passed the entry fee down to him without quitting his seat. “Got a passenger this time,” he informed the man. "She’s in the back wagon.”

The gatekeeper raised an eyebrow, but headed for the rear wagon. Chi met him halfway, smiling in her own stead, sweeping the city walls with a practiced eye.

“Adventurer, eh?” he nodded. “Got your guild token?”

“I’m afraid I don’t,” she told him. “I’m not from Tandera, and haven’t yet visited the guild.”

He frowned, lowering his chin and giving her the eye from beneath his brows. “Not from Tandera?” he asked. “And Mokkelton is the first town you’ve visited? How’s that?”

She frowned back. “Is that a problem?” she wondered.

“It’s bloody strange is what it is,” he scowled.

“We’ll vouch for her,” Gart called down. “Along with the whole of Tumblebrook. You got a problem with that, Master Gatekeep?”

The gatekeeper took a step back, waving both hands. He wasn’t about to risk Tumblebrook’s trade going to one of the other towns for anything this trivial. “Fine,” he called back. “Fine. One silver common, miss.”

She handed over the coin as the wagons resumed their passage, climbing up into the back of the rear wagon as it passed.

She didn’t stay long, though. It had been an epoch since she’d been anyplace busier than Tumblebrook, and she wanted to sightsee a bit before she presented herself to the god of Mund. Who knew when her next opportunity might come? She waved to the teamsters as she jumped clear, and vanished into the crowd.

* * *

The sun was heeling over in the west, nearing the horizon, or, in this case, the city’s outer wall. Chi stood in the shadows and contemplated the old three story building with the overlarge entrance as she munched on a meat skewer.

She had a strong suspicion the meat came from Tumblebrook, but the spice profile was sufficiently different that it seemed novel. She’d been sampling food and drink all afternoon, although not to the excess she’d engaged in at the party the other night, and had covered a good portion of the town. She was running out of excuses.

She tore the last chunk of dripping meat from the skewer and munched on it, slipping the empty stick into her bag. She licked her fingers, and took a deep breath. Nothing for it, she supposed. Not after this afternoon.

Another group of jaegers had come through. She’d been fortunate enough to have had the time to duck into an alley before the collar had completely constricted her airway and she’d fallen to her knees, leaning against a dirty brick wall, struggling for breath.

Each iteration seemed to be worse than the last. As though the collar was attuning itself to the portal. She had to get it off, and soon.

Squaring her shoulders and adjusting the hang of the jagged backed sword, she removed the message scroll from her bag and set out across the wide street for the Mokkelton Adventurer’s Guild Hall,

Half a step in, still within the doorway, her senses flared a warning. She had the time to begin a turn away before stout bars shot up from the floor and down from the ceiling, trapping her neither in nor out. At the same time, she felt a powerful force wreaking havoc on her mana flow, and her guise as Chi the adventurer sloughed off in a fraction of a heartbeat.

“OW! OW! OW! OW! OW! OW! OW! OW! Ow! ow! ow! ow...” She fought to postpone the transformation as she struggled to free herself of the coat before her wings either tore through it or broke. The collar, sensing her panicked surge of mana, tightened, and she fell to her knees, writhing with her struggles.

The coat came free, or free enough to clear her erupting wings. Her blouse wasn’t so fortunate, and they tore through it like saws, causing her considerable pain. The spike of her tail shot straight out through the back of her fancy new trousers, leaving a jagged hole. And that hurt, too.

She lay there on the floor, half naked, dazed, near blind from asphyxiation, and heard a commotion from within the building. A freaking demon trap? She thought blearily. How had Rosaluna failed to warn her?

It took several minutes for her senses to return, and when they did, she found a stern old man in half plate staring down at her over a drawn crossbow. She didn’t need to cast Identify to know she didn’t want to get hit with a quarrel from that. So she lay gasping on the floor while she tried to figure out her next move.