Before he did anything else, Asher made one quick pitstop. “Goodness!” Exclaimed Gramma Ethel as Asher wrapped her in a massive hug. “What’s gotten into you, dear?”
“I just wanted to say that I love you.” Choked out Asher, fighting and failing to keep the tears from flowing down his face. Gramma Ethel had died when Asher was still a teenager, so being able to see and hold her again, it felt almost as great as macking on a beautiful woman….almost
“Well, I love you too.” Replied his grandmother, clearly confused, but wrapping Asher in a hug just as fiercely as the young man’s. “You’re always welcome at my home if you need anything.”
Asher tried to respond, but he broke down into hiccuping sobs. Thank goodness no girls were around to see him like this.
XXX
With all the sappy stuff out of the way, Asher got to work on his master plan. The next day at school, he and Pete met in the cafeteria and started scheming. Unfortunately, the school was serving pizza, and with the other day’s pizza debacle still fresh in their minds, both boys decided to skip eating. “You’re looking for a girlfriend?” Asked Pete, face turning a light shade of green as a student carrying a tray of pizza walked by their table. “But I thought you and Sarah were a thing.”
“That wasn’t meant to be,” replied Asher, scribbling a list on a notepad. “Quick, who are some of the hotties here at school?” Asher had spent most of the school day ignoring his classes and instead creating an inventory of potential girls he wanted to date. The most important criterion was that they had to be hot. A pleasant personality was a bonus, too, but Asher was willing to overlook just about anything as long as the girl was attractive.
“Shouldn’t you be looking for something in a girl besides just how they look?” Asher stopped writing and stared at his friend. The two boys burst into laughter. “But seriously,” continued Pete, wiping a tear from his eye, “We all want a hottie Ash, but don’t you have any other preferences besides how they look?”
Asher’s mind drifted back to Sarah. " Well,” he began, smiling as he remembered his years spent with his former wife. I like a girl who’s soft-spoken and gentle, kind, intelligent, and has a beautiful smile—” Asher shook his head. He’d already had all of that in Sarah, and he’d still been wanting. “But I think it’d be best to try something out of my comfort zone.”
Asher was distracted as several people jogged by the cafeteria window. Peeking outside, he spotted the girl’s track team doing laps around the school.
“They start practice earlier and earlier, don’t they?” Asked Pete, popping up next to Asher to enjoy the view.
Asher nodded in agreement, his mind drifting back to his list of potential girlfriends. Track chicks were definitely hot; they stayed in decent shape, and from what he remembered, a lot of them also had pretty big personalities. Maybe he should start there.
“It might be fun to date a sporty girl,” mused Asher, turning to Pete. What do you think about Alexis?”
“The track and field chick? I think she only dates runners.
“Yo, Ash. You ready for practice, my man?” Two larger male students swaggered over to Ash and Pete, they flashed smiles that were both missing teeth. “Nationals, here we come!”
Oh yeah, Asher was still on the football team. Asher loved football, well, he loved winning, but because he was good at football, he was good at winning. Asher’s relationship with the sport was purely one of convenience, and right now, he figured he’d just found a sport that would serve him better.
“Sorry, gents,” replied Asher, peeking back at the track girls as they rounded a corner and disappeared from view. “I actually just decided to quit the team.”
“Wha-” Asked one of his teammates, taking a shocked step back. “But dude, you’re our quarterback; you can’t just quit right before a big game.”
“Unfortunately,” continued Asher, donning the mask of a remorseful-looking teammate, “I think I’ve been struck with the sudden desire to do Track and Field.”
A case of literary theft: this tale is not rightfully on Amazon; if you see it, report the violation.
XXX
Asher stepped into the school gymnasium, scrunching up his nose at the long-forgotten scent of sweat and body odor. Alexis wasn’t hard to spot; she was weightlifting in a corner of the room, easily lifting more than any other girl on the track team. Even some of the guys were watching her with a mixture of respect and intimidation.
“Sup Alex?” Inquired Asher as he strolled up beside her and started curling a dumbbell. “How’s class been with, uh?” Asher struggled to remember the teachers’ names at his school, but it had been so long, “your teacher.” He said finally.
“I heard you ditched the football team,” grunted Alexis, body slick with sweat as she continued to lift. “Kind of a jerk move, don’t ya think?”
Asher shrugged, picking up an even larger dumbbell and curling it with his free hand. “Football’s cool and all, but I gotta follow my wants and needs too.” Asher gave Alexis a significant look, “There’s something I want that I can only get on the track and field.”
Alexis racked her weights and sat up, panting for breath. She stared at Asher, sizing him up. “Are you flirting with me?”
“That depends,” replied Asher breezily, “Is it working?”
Alexis laughed. “You’ve always been a straight shooter, Ash; I like that about you.” Alexis stepped off the bench and motioned for Asher to lay down. “Let’s see what you’ve got,” she said, motioning the giant set of weights she’d been lifting.
Asher eyed the weights nervously. He was in great shape but didn’t have the bulky physique of a weightlifter. Still, Alexis had challenged him to show strength, and what man walks away from a challenge? Asher took a deep breath, laid on his back, and grabbed the rough metal of the bar. Lifting with all his strength, he unracked the weights…and they immediately came crashing onto his chest. Asher gasped in pain, feeling several essential things snap and pop in his chest. He groaned in pain as Alexis quickly lifted the heavy weight off of him; so much for impressing Alexis.
“Ash, are you okay?” Alexis asked, staring down at him, genuinely concerned. She looked like a priest about to read a dying man’s last will and testament.
Asher shook his head; no, everything hurt. “I think I need to try this again,” he wheezed before popping out of existence and returning to the void.
XXX
Asher was 11 years old and back in his parent’s home two years before their divorce. He walked into the basement and stared at the rack of weights his dad kept in their personal gym. Asher picked up one of the heavier weights and nearly dropped it onto his foot. Dang, that was heavy! Asher poked at his scrawny muscles, which had only shrunk as he went back further in time. Still, at least he was lean and healthy and knew that he would start to develop physically once he hit puberty. “If Alexis wants a buff boy,” said Asher with a smirk, “then I better get lifting.”
XXX
“500.” Wheezed Asher as he benched the gargantuan set of weights, sweat slicking his toned muscles as he gasped for breath. It had been three years since Asher had gone back in time, and he’d done very little in the interim besides work to get absolutely jacked. Some people may have considered that a waste of time, but with infinity on his side, it was mathematically impossible for Asher Brandy to waste any.
“Dude!” Exclaimed Alexis, eyes wide as she watched Asher lift set after set. “You’re a machine!”
Asher grinned, trying to think of a witty remark, but his brain was too starved for oxygen. “I win,” was all he managed to pant out.
Alexis’ expression darkened. “I’m a runner; it’s no good if I bulk up my body too much.” She motioned outside the gym toward the track field. “That’s my element; wanna race, slowpoke?”
It was less a question and more a challenge. There was no way Asher was gonna lose to some girl. “Bring it!”
XXX
Asher’s lungs burned with fire; he gasped and sputtered, sucking in air, his entire body cramping. “Keep it up,” teased Alexis as she lapped him again, barely appearing winded, “you’re almost halfway there!”
Asher gave one final pathetic wheeze and collapsed to the ground. Everything hurt; he tasted blood in his mouth. Getting jacked had been great when he’d wanted to lift heavy things, but now his body had packed on so much weight that even a mile run was challenging. In hindsight, if he’d been trying to impress a track and field girl, he should’ve worked out muscles other than his biceps.
Alexis stepped over Asher’s prone form, staring down at him with a mix of triumph and concern. “We gotta work on that running technique,” She said, extending a hand to help him off the ground. Asher, embarrassed, took her hand and struggled to his feet. “That was pathetic.”
“I think I need to stick to the weight room,” Chuckled Asher, trying to save face and laugh it off when, in actuality, he was humiliated by that horrid performance. He’d spent the last three years doing nothing but working out, and he’d still lost to a girl! Maybe he needed to go back in time and try again.
“Nah, you’re good,” replied Alexis, seeming to note Asher’s discomfort. “You’ve obviously worked hard to get in shape; I could use a rival like you to help stay focused.”
Oh, Asher hadn’t expected that. No matter, he could roll with it. “Sure,” replied Asher, regaining a bit of his swagger, “As long as you don’t mind losing in every other competition besides running.”
Alexis laughed, clearly amused, “Oh, I’ll kick your butt, pretty boy, just name the time and place.”
“How bout’ an eating contest?” said Asher with a sly smile. “Some fancy Italian place for dinner this Friday?”
“Italian?” Asked Alexis. “Why would we eat, oh.” Alexis turned slightly pink, realizing what Asher was insinuating.
“Just to be clear,” continuing Asher, finally having caught his breath as he stood up a bit straighter, flexing his muscles ever so slightly, “I’m asking you out on a date.”