By the time Jabber got Vicky to St. Dorian Gray's Demon Hospital, she was a bubbling mush of muddy demon essence sloshing against the sides of a glass jar he held in his hands. When he ran into the emergency room, the demon attendant behind the desk leaped to her feet, shouting, "Great Scott! What happened?"
"Holy water!" shouted Jabber.
The attendant, who wore a tight-fitting nurse's mini-skirt, grabbed the jar and rushed Vicky into the double doors. Jabber called after, "I'm so sorry Vicky! I'm really terribly sorry!"
An hour and a half later, Jabber was sitting next to Vicky's hospital bed. The ER doctors had been forced to infuse her with a liter of dark essence, but once she stabilized, she quickly took her normal–albeit rather weakened–form. The daemiatrician who examined her afterwards said she would make a full recovery though he still wanted her to stay the night as a precaution.
Jabber was sitting next to her bed apologizing again. "I'm really so sorry that happened. How could I know you would want to possess me?"
A shaded green lamp sent gentle light throughout the hospital room. In the corridor outside, nurses, doctors, and hospital staff went about their business. Besides Vicky, it seemed to be a slow night as much of the staff kept congregating around the nurses' station for coffee and laughs. One angelic attendant had such a shrill giggle that it echoed down the corridors and annoyed Jabber so much he almost shut the door before deciding it would take too much effort to get up. If only he had thought to bring his wand with him.
"You know lovemaking for me is merely foreplay for mortal possession," Vicky said in a disappointed voice.
"True, true," Jabber said, lifting his shoulders in a helpless shrug. "It's been so long . . . I didn't think it through."
Vicky crossed her arms in a huff. The dark locks of her once again lustrous hair curled over and about the shoulders of her white hospital gown. Without any effort and in the most unattractive clothes imaginable, the demoness had somehow managed to make herself look eminently desirable.
"You know what I was thinking as you lay puddled in my bed though?" Jabber added.
"What's that?" Vicky frowned at him.
"I was thinking, what if you and I were still married and that was how you always looked?"
"Jabber!" Vicky said, shocked.
"I mean it was horrible. Your face was melting, you smelled like burnt bacon, and you were turning into a puddle of goo . . . I have to be honest with you, I don't think I could have lived like that." The anger softened from Vicky's face as she realized he was joking. Jabber couldn't keep his face straight and ended up smiling as he finished his sentence.
"You're such an ass . . . I mean I was near to dying!" Vicky laughed with him. "But you forget one important point."
"What's that?"
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"I've seen your soul. I know how smitten you still are with me."
Jabber shifted uncomfortably in his seat but before he could think of a good reply, Eridian's voice rang out. "What the hell are you two doing here?!"
The shortish woman was standing in the doorway, a blue shawl wrapped around the shoulders of her smooth white wool dress. She wore a wide brimmed hat adorned with multi-colored feathers placed around a colorful stuffed bird that looked like a cross between a small vulture and a parrot. Its expression could only be described as one of disdain at being dead.
"What are we doing here?" Jabber responded. "What about you?" He gasped in feigned shock. "So you are a demon!"
But Vicky said, "Eridian! Wonderful to see you!"
"Indeed," Eridian sauntered into the room, ignoring Jabber. "My friend Ronda has been having contractions for hours. I came to sit with her while her husband went to get some rest. I was walking the halls with her just now and heard your voices. What happened to you Vicky?"
"Nut allergy!" Jabber said at the same time Vicky blurted out, "Accidental exorcism."
Eridian's eyes narrowed, making her face resemble the dead bird on her hat. "I knew it!" she exclaimed. "I knew some kind of tryst was happening between you two! That possession act at the party . . . the sparks flying! And then Jabber driving you home . . . I knew it in my bones!"
Jabber slow clapped for her. "Amazing detective work. Congratulations!"
"How long has this been going on?" Eridian continued.
Just then the deep resonant voice of Theodore came floating down the corridor. "I'm here to see Vicky Maelstrom? Room number 667? Thank you!"
Jabber's heart froze as heavy footsteps approached Vicky's hospital bed. He looked around for somewhere to hide or escape to. But there was nowhere to go. Vicky sat up stiff in her bed. Eridian smiled, seeming to enjoy their panic.
The footsteps stopped and then returned back down the corridor to the nurse's station. "My apologies. Is there a shop where I can get flowers or chocolates? Oh indeed? Thank you!"
"That was some luck," Eridian said. "You had better leave before he comes back. Have you ever seen an angel of Theodore's stature get angry?"
"Yes, you should go!" Vicky urged. "Right now, while he's still gone!"
"You'd better not say anything to him!" Jabber growled at Eridian as he fled the room.
"Why not?!" Eridian snarled. "Theodore means everything to Vicky, and you mean nothing!"
But Jabber paid her no mind. He was too concerned with finding the quickest way out to avoid Theodore. As he hurried past the group of hospital staff and patients near the nurses' station, one decrepit demon in a wooden wheelchair stuck his foot out and crackled as the magician tripped and did a heavy two step stumble to keep from falling to the ground. Seeing a pair of back exit doors to another ward, Jabber hurried away from the main entrance just as a janitor wheeled through them with a cleaning cart and several trash cans in tow."Come on! Come on!" Jabber muttered as he squeezed past the janitor and slammed the double doors open.
With a shout and a crash, he body slammed Ronda who went flying to the ground in front of him. The doors swung shut behind them.
"Jabber!" she yelled, placing one arm protectively around her belly. "If anything happens to my baby, it will be all your fault! God curse you when He returns!
"My apologies madam!" Jabber hurriedly bent to help her up but she shoved his hands away.
"Just leave me alone. I swear I'll send my husband after you if you've hurt my baby."
"Oh please now!" Jabber responded. "If your imp comes out as a smoking lump of coal, that'll be entirely on you. Blessed Sabbatical Ronda!"
With that, he ran off down the empty corridor.