"Good morning Master Jabber!"

"Good morning Angelica," Master Jabber said to his demon assistant as he sauntered into his thaumaturgy lab. He stopped at the sight of a massive black dog with blue flames licking out of its snout and eyes, chewing something on the ground.

"You brought your hellhound?"

"Yes, it's Bella!"

"But she's chewing my favorite yew wand."

Master Jabber's assistant giggled, making her sharp tipped tail quiver in the air behind her. "She was getting frisky, needed something to gnaw. I thought these wands of yours are indestructible."

"Well, yes, but you know I'm a human right?"

"Of course."

"And as a human I can't be using demon-infested objects. I might get possessed."

His assistant sat down behind her desk and gave him a smile. "She's just playing with it. It's hardly infested."

Master Jabber bent down and retrieved his wand with some difficulty from Bella's mouth. She growled at him, spits of fire shooting from her nostrils, but he finally managed to wiggle it free.

"Ugh, look at it," Master Jabber said with a half-gag. "It's covered in demon spit." He looked around for something to wipe his wand and hands on, but seeing only shelves filled with beakers, jars of various thaumaturgical ingredients, and random magical objects like crystal balls and golden dragon claws that lacked any ability to soak up hellish spittle, he ended up standing in the middle of his lab uselessly trying to shake the slime off onto the floor.

"Here, I'll wash that for you," Angelica said, taking the wand from him and handing him a silk handkerchief embroidered with winged angels.

"Washing won't be enough, you'll need to do a minor exorcism on it before it's usable again."

Stolen content alert: this content belongs on Royal Road. Report any occurrences.

Angelica nodded, her blond curls bouncing around her cherubic-like cheeks. "Of course. Of course . . . I have some correspondence for you." She set the wet wand on her table, wiped her hands on another handkerchief, and then handed him a pile of envelopes.

"Great! Yes," Master Jabber said, taking them. He was about to go to his study, when he noticed a golden glow shining from behind Angelica's head. "What in the name of the Absent God is that?"

"What?" Angelica said, patting her curls self consciously.

"Is that a halo?!" Jabber asked, incredulous. "How the hell did you get that? And why?"

"I'd rather not say. It's . . . you know, it's personal."

"So personal, you've got a 150 watt circle of light floating behind your head for all to see? Come on . . . spill the confession beans. Where'd you get it from?"

"I'd rather not talk about it if it's the same to you. It represents something very special to me."

"Did you steal it? Like mug an angel or something?"

"Master Jabber!" Angelica said, looking down uncomfortably and shuffling papers on her desk.

"Ok, ok, well what would you say to me if I sauntered in here with a pair of devil horns soldered to my head? You'd just let it slide?"

"Well, you know, I don't generally ask people about their bodies. It's none of my business."

"So you wouldn't ask me anything about it?"

"There's also an invitation here from your friend Fokso. He's having an evening party at his new house this weekend," Angelica said, forcefully handing the card to him.

"Yeah, yeah," Master Jabber said, dropping the subject. He took the card but the writing was too fine to read in the dim laboratory light, so he edged closer to Angelica, leaning in close towards her halo to catch some of its golden glow.

"Wha . . .what are you doing? Are you sniffing me?" Angelica asked, pulling back, her eyes wide in shock. Bella lifted her head from the floor where the hellhound had been watching them, and growled menacingly.

"No, I couldn't read the card," Jabber stammered. "I needed some light."

"You can't just use me like I'm some sort of reading lamp."

"No?"

"Of course not. That halo's attached to my essence . . .. You need to respect personal boundaries you know. I'm not an object to use at your leisure."

"Crossed a line?" Jabber asked, despondent.

"A huge red line," Angelica said, sitting down in a huff.