Chapter 93: Hero of Greed: How Zachys Calador Accidentally Saved the Entire Planet
If someone would have told Alex that a single, off-the-cuff remark spoken by Zach Calador would somehow increase the odds of success in tomorrow’s raid by more than thirty percent, he would not have believed it. And yet, on the night before the raid, when the plan had been ironed out and the stage was set for tomorrow’s showdown, one final turn of events seemed to be in the cards, and it was all because of a cluelessly spoken remark that Zach had uttered at exactly the right time.
At the moment, Alex was seated in the central command tent with the North-Bastian guild leaders, finalizing their coordination for tomorrow. There were certain things he needed to clear with the political guilds, such as establishing a no-fly zone in the perimeter around the fortifications they’d constructed, as well as working to ensure that curious—or just downright insane—civilians did not wander anywhere near the scene of the upcoming battle. These were just some of the last few things that needed doing before he would lie his head down on a pillow and try to get some sleep.
The sun had now set, darkness had chased out the light, and even still, the heat in the region did not abate. Comfort was not likely to be found by the adventurers this night, as Donovan and Zephyr had, as of an hour ago, banned any more consumption of alcohol or other, lesser-legal substances. The two appeared to be taking this seriously, too. Already, Donovan had walloped a few adventurers over the head for trying to sneak a drink into the camp.
Even he can be serious when he wants, Alex thought.
While Donovan and Zephyr worked to ensure everyone was behaving themselves and resting like they were supposed to be, Alex did what he’d been doing all along: acting as the liaison between the political guilds and the adventurers. In truth, no one had ever outright asked him to perform this role. He’d just sort of slipped into it, and before long, it sort of just became his official responsibility. It appeared to be for the best, however, as the political guilds seemed to much prefer dealing with him over any of the adventurers—something for which Alex could not blame them.
Although Donovan and Zephyr were the raid leaders, they neither had the patience nor desire to coordinate with the various political guilds, and Alex doubted either one of them would be able to do so productively even if they tried in earnest. The last time Donovan had tried to deal with a “political issue” in person, he’d ended up getting Zach’s name put on a hitlist.
“Alex,” High-Lord Kolorn Besh said, sitting relaxed in a swivel-style office chair with his left leg folded over his right. In his left hand was a small dish, and in his right, he grasped a teacup, from which he sipped calmly and slowly.
“Yes, High-Lord Besh?”
“Would you care for some tea?”
Alex smiled. “Thank you, but not at the moment.”
Having dealt with the man for almost an entire day, Alex was growing comfortable in his presence, though it had not been this way at first. After all, Kolorn was not simply the guild-leader of the Lords of Justice, but he was also the closest thing humans had to a leader. His guild controlled the region known as “Slopes of Dal’Zarrah,” which was ostensibly the capital region of humanity following the death of Peter IV.
But most critically, inside the city at the center of Dal’Zarrah there was a grand, circular building that contained what was inarguably the finest display of human architecture in all of Galterra—an elliptically shaped amphitheater known as the UCH: the United Council of Humanity. On the rare occasions that the various region-controlling guilds could agree to pass any kind of legislation—which would then become law in all regions simultaneously—it would happen in the UCH. Kolorn Besh presided as the head speaker of the UCH, and his official title was Chief Representative to Humanity. In other words, he was exactly the kind of person Alex had been almost cultivated to hate. And yet…though it disturbed him to admit, Alex did not entirely dislike the man.
Kolorn was tall, perhaps only an inch or two shorter than Alex, and he was in his mid-fifties. He had a full head of reddish-brown hair, and a short, neatly trimmed reddish-brown beard. He dressed appropriately, yet not extravagantly, and he carried himself with an air of sensibility that Alex found very rare from a political guild leader. Truly, what struck Alex as so odd about the man was something that he’d also noticed about Sir Peter Brayspark; it was a trait that appeared to be in both of them. Put simply, unlike every other political guild leader, Kolorn Besh and Peter Brayspark stood alone as the only two who privately behaved the same as they did publicly. They were the only two who had any semblance of integrity.
But whereas Peter was hotheaded, overly emotional, and a virulent racist—negative qualities that offset a number of good ones—Kolorn Besh genuinely seemed to be the least bad of all the political guild leaders, and by extension, his guild also appeared to be the least corrupt. That was why, following another sip of his tea, Alex was stricken with such a great level of uncertainty and apprehension as the man smiled at him and caught him off guard with what he said to Alex, seemingly out of nowhere.
“You should join my guild,” he said—even as his peers chuckled from where they were sitting fanned out around him. “They laugh, but I would give you the office of third-in-command in a heartbeat. Lord Palnor passed away recently, and he’s without kin.”
Alex was so awestruck by the offer that he wasn’t even sure how to respond. Certainly, he could never accept the offer to join what he had for many years considered to be “the enemy.” The fact that someone of his stature could even be offered the position in the first place was unthinkable for any guild other than perhaps the Royal Roses, who were known to occasionally recruit people who were not of noble birth and in some cases not even human.
“I…I don’t know what to say to that,” Alex admitted.
“You don’t have to say anything now. You can think it over. It’s just…you’re different from them, and I think you know you are. I’ve dealt with adventurers before. We all have. You’re far too sophisticated, well-spoken, and decently mannered to fit in with that crowd.” Alex opened his mouth to strongly dispute such a claim, yet only a sigh escaped his lips. “You know that I’m right.” The man took another slow sip of his tea.
Surprising even his own self, Alex whispered, “I’ll have to think about it.”
“Take your time. But I’ll let you in on a little secret—one that I ask you not to spread. Don’t worry. It will be publicly available information in a few weeks from now.”
“Hm?”
Kolorn set both his plate and teacup down on the table then gently slid both off to the side. “I’m sure you, like the rest of the world, have no-doubt heard the news by now that Queen Vayra will be assuming control of the Whispery Woods region.”
“Of course,” Alex said. “It’s now the most-trending topic of conversation in the world aside from the dragon.”
“Indeed, it is. But what you don’t know—and again, I ask you not to share just yet—is that we’ll be working together with the queen to reestablish trade relations with the rest of the world. I need new, young blood with an open mind to represent humanity. Someone who won’t just pretend to respect members of other races, but who can actually bring themselves to do it. Insincerity is easily detected.”
The offer struck powerfully at the part of Alex that wanted to make a real difference in the world. It was almost as though the man could see into his heart. This should have been such an easy thing to say no to. The very idea of joining a political guild—any of them—should have been something that made Alex so nauseous he vomited in front of whoever would ask him. Yet, for some reason, the temptation was there. The benefits of joining the Lords of Justice were clear as day. He could foster closer ties between the political guilds and the adventuring guilds, having been in each camp. He could ensure that he looked out for the best interests of the people instead of his own coin purse. There were so many ways in which he could serve humanity with dignity.
“I’ll…I’ll think about,” he said. “For the meantime, I really need to focus on tomorrow’s raid.”
Even with one-hundred Elves now participating, their odds were still only around forty percent by his estimation. Things were looking pretty dire. For starters, the information Olivir had given them, while correct, was not complete. This was by no means out of the ordinary in the world of adventuring. Whoever had documented the previous Ziragoth spawn, for example, had likely not had the boss’s adds spawn in. Why? It was impossible to say. But for whatever reason, it had not happened, and thus it had not been written down.
And so, in addition to whatever powerful tricks Ziragoth might have up its sleeve that they did not know about, the things that they did now know about were bad enough that there was a very real possibility that tomorrow would mark the first day of the last day of sentient life on Galterra.
And Zach might’ve been right about it being animal-level sentient…
Had Zach not skipped out on the briefing, he would have appreciated his vindication, as the entire incident with the adds—and Fluffles’ corroborating claims—now had them operating under the assumption that they were fighting an unpredictable animal as opposed to a purely non-sentient boss spawn. This, however, was yet another thing that would be difficult to determine, which was likely why it was not in the documentation.
What was in the documentation, however, was that upon reaching 50% health, Ziragoth would enter a second phase, heal back to full, gain tons more HP, go up by three tiers, and become the equivalent of a level-570 mob. For this reason, ten adventurers had already shamefully abdicated their responsibility and fled the raid—and even more shamefully, one of them was from the GSG. All ten would be exiled from their guilds and excommunicated, naturally. But the real risk would be in others following suit.
Quite simply, they might very well still not have the sufficient manpower required to get the job done. They needed more people to fight by their side, and Queen Vayra claimed that she was not willing to risk a single additional Elf in the event of a total wipe. The fact that she’d decided not to abandon them entirely after finding out how dangerous this dragon was…it was quite the shock. But even more shocking was the way she’d committed an additional fifty Elves to their cause. It still, sadly, would likely not be enough. They just did not have enough people. Plain and simply.
And then…
And then Zachys Calador strode into the tent, and everything changed in ways that he could not have possibly predicted.
“Ah, sorry, I shouldn’t have just walked in,” he said, rubbing his wavy black hair and staring at all of them awkwardly. “There’s not like a door I can knock on.”
“It’s fine,” Vim Alazar said. Then, with a dark laugh, he added, “I’m always willing to hear from one of my guild-members.”
Oh, no, not again, Alex thought, tensing up. Here they go…
His words were clearly designed to provoke Zach, and it was definitely going to work. In just the time that had passed since returning from Angelica’s, Zach and Vim Alazar had already gotten into four separate incidences of back-and-forth verbal jousting, which in hindsight, Alex should have known would be the case.
Despite Vim Alazar being the leader of the Royal Roses, Zach had seemingly figured out very, very quickly that, contrary to what he’d probably believed, when in private, the guild-leaders cared a whole lot less about how people spoke to them than they did when it was in public—within reason, at least. And while Vim was just as phony as most of the political guild leaders, there was one aspect of his public personality that was completely genuine: his love of trading insults and verbally jousting with people. It was a skill with which he had no equal. Yet that did not stop Zach from trying again and again.
“That’s very funny, Vim,” he said. “Very, very funny. You know what else is funny? The fact that you’re only like four-feet tall.”
“Oh, another attack on my height again, Zach. That genius brain of yours, putting out the same insult every time you walk in here.”
Zach looked around as if confused. “Who said that? I hear someone talking but…” He turned his head to look at the floor, and he pointed. “Oh, there you are. All the way down there.”
“And there it is again, another height joke. At least my height is still greater than your IQ.”
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“Oh, come on. I might be dumb, but my IQ is definitely higher than four-one.”
“Not by much.”
Zach frowned at him. “Why do I have to pretend to be in your shitty guild, anyway?”
Vim shrugged. “Gee, I don’t know, Zach. Maybe because you decided to put on a show for the whole world and now you have to take responsibility for it so that I can maintain public order? Or, you know what? No, you’re right, Zach. You’re right. Let me call a press conference and tell the people of Galterra that the teenager who turned the sky dark is accountable to no one.”
He’s such a mean person, but he does have a point there, Alex thought. People would be terrified if they thought Zach was acting freely and not under the control of an authority.
Though neither of them would admit to it, Alex was fairly sure that both Zach and Vim enjoyed their back-and-forth fights. They both had the same “desire” to attack one another with words. And though Zach had not won a single round yet, he’d landed a lot more successful hits against Vim than most people did. It was actually surprising. Alex had seen some very bright people spar with Vim on the news, people that Alex personally knew were not being paid off or unduly influenced, and time and time again, Vim humiliated them and sent them reeling.
“Zach,” Alex said, trying to refocus things elsewhere. “What’s up? Did you come in here to talk to me?”
“Yeah,” Zach said. “Donovan wanted me to tell you something, but I got so pissed off just now I forgot what it was.”
Vim coughed out a laugh. “There he is, everyone.” He began clapping his hands together in mock applause. “That’s my genius over there. My number-one, most-intelligent guild-member, Zach Calador. Highest IQ in the Royal Roses.”
Zach scowled at him, then paused a moment. He was clearly trying to think of something to say. Alex could think of about twenty things, but he obviously couldn’t share them. As childish and absurd as this was, he found himself rooting for his former student. And as though his hope was transformed into reality, Zach unexpectedly struck gold.
“I actually am pretty smart,” Zach said at last. “When I negotiated with Queen Vayra, I got a free outfit, a sword worth millions, and bonus points with my girlfriend. From what I hear, all you ended up with was regional debt, a deal you’ll probably be assassinated for, and billions in loans to the People of Virtue.”
“Whoah, kid,” Abram grunted. “Keep it between you two.”
“Sorry,” Zach whispered.
From the redness appearing on Vim’s face, Alex could tell that Zach had actually struck a blow that the short, sharp-tongued guild-leader felt. Alex didn’t know if Zach got lucky or somehow realized that being on the losing end of a negotiation had wounded the man’s pride, but either way, he’d definitely landed a hit.
But there was a reason Vim had a reputation for being the mouthiest human in Galterra…
“Clever,” he said, rubbing his chin. “And you know what? You’re right. I am terrible at negotiating on behalf of my own selfish, personal interests. I guess when you’re trying to convince an Elvish queen to fight a dragon while also having to worry about feeding millions of people and keeping them employed, you tend to have a harder time of things, right? How about, the next time this happens, I beg the queen to dress me up like some kind of fucking hippie edgelord, and you work on keeping the economy of North Bastia from collapsing? Deal?”
“That…so that’s not even…pfft, whatever,” Zach grumbled. Then he yawned. “I’m tired and going to bed.”
And with that, he turned around to leave the tent, but not before he asked two brief questions and then followed those two questions with a passing remark. And it was this remark that, somehow, inexplicably, shifted things to such an extent that it gave Alex hope that the planet might actually be saved after all.
“Oh, right,” Zach said, pausing on his way out. “Ah, before I go, I forgot to ask you, Mr. Oren. How come on the plans for tomorrow it says the political guild members are still going to be in the command tent during the raid? I thought this whole area is being designated as a potential hazard zone.”
“It is,” Mr. Oren replied. “But the word ‘potential’ in this case varies greatly. As close as this tent is, we still believe it’s far enough away to be generally considered outside the line of likely fire.”
“Okay, but just to clarify, they’re definitely still not going to be fighting with us, right?”
“That’s correct.”
“Whew,” he said, laughing. Then he wiped a line of sweat from his forehead and sighed with relief, though Alex wasn’t sure why.
“Why do you even ask, Zach?”
“Oh, because if they’re not fighting, then that means they don’t get to roll on any of the loot, right? Olivir says that because this is a superboss it might drop artifact-quality shit that hasn’t been seen in thousands of years and could be worth billions.”
And just like that, every one of the political guild leaders began to call out to Zach as he continued to walk away from the tent, halting him before he could take even two more steps. “What was that you just said?” demanded Abram Gespon.
Zach turned back around to face him. “Huh? Oh, nothing. I’m just saying I’m glad you and all your guild members aren’t fighting in the raid, because the adventurers have this dumb rule that if anyone contributes even a little, they’re allowed to roll for loot.”
“Roll…for loot?”
“Yeah,” he said with a laugh. “Basically, even just for helping, you get to roll. More people means less chance I win anything when we kill it, so I’m actually not giving any of you shit for sitting this one out. I’m actually on your side believe it or not.”
Alex stared in awe, fascination, and an incredulity that bordered on outright denial as he watched the faces of each leader of humanity light up with avarice and a hunger for power. “Alex,” High-Lord Besh said, “if I were to have my entire guild show up, you’re saying they’d all be able to roll for me?”
“They’d all be allowed to roll for themselves, naturally, but what rules you choose to impose upon your own members afterwards is your own business. As far as adventurers are concerned, our raid rules are as old as time and we don’t compromise them for anything: one person, one roll. The only requirement is that they meet either the minimum level or the minimum stat requirements that we set ahead of time, and that they actively contribute.”
He licked his lips. “I’m going to do something unconventional here. We are not known to partake in these ‘raids,’ but I have decided to pledge every level-50 or higher member of the Lords of Justice to the raid tomorrow.”
“Same,” Vim Alazar said. “I’ll have my best fly in tonight. I didn’t know about this ‘roll’ bullshit, and I wish someone would’ve mentioned this sooner. So, let me get this straight: if I have thirty people come in, and I fight as well alongside them, I can order them all to roll for me? And I can roll for myself, too?”
“Yes,” Alex said. “What they do with the loot if they win is their business. Whether it’s giving it to you or otherwise. If they win, we place the item in their hands, not yours. But after that, like I said, whatever ends up happening to it is none of our concern. Normally, we impose need-before-greed restrictions, but it’s not completely unheard of under special circumstances to relax that for—”
“Yeah, to hell with that. No need-before-greed. I’m assuming that means if I get lucky and win, I can’t take the most powerful thing if it doesn’t suit me?”
“That’s typically how it works.”
“Yeah, let’s avoid that.”
“I agree,” Zach said, nodding. “Fuck that. I want greed. And I can’t believe what I’m hearing. Are you guys seriously willing to fight just because you want the loot? Trust me, this dragon is way too tough for you.”
Alex was screaming joyously on the inside but he kept it from his face. Not only had Zach just convinced the entire political establishment to actually fight and contribute to the raid, but the fact that he was now earnestly and sincerely trying to get them to change their mind—for his own greedy desires—was only going to make them even more likely to want to fight and convince them to send even more people to contribute, because Zach was doing the opposite of what he set out to do and was making them think that the dragon’s loot was something really, really special. Which, to be honest, it very well would probably end up being.
“I’m calling up the People of Virtue’s best warriors,” Abram said. “Humanity’s dead if we lose anyway, right? We might as well fight.”
Alex was so happy that he couldn’t even feel bad for poor Zach, whose expression became increasingly horrified as the political guild leaders now fed into one another to keep their own chances high. Each time it looked like one of them would send more qualifying members than the other, the ante would be upped. As things were going, it was looking like they’d end up sending literally every single guild-member they had who met the requirements for the raid.
“W-wait, time out!” Zach shouted at them. “Everyone just…just please stop for a second and listen to me, okay? None of you understand what you’re getting into. I’ve fought that thing. You have no idea how horrible it is. You’re all going to die. All of you. It’s the most ferocious thing you can imagine.”
“He has a point,” Alex said. “It’s not worth dying for. Now look: I won’t lie to you. This is a type of boss called a 'God boss' that not a single adventurer has ever heard of before this week, and so, the loot will probably be of higher quality than anything we’ve ever seen. But I caution you to consider what good is loot to a dead man? Treasure has no meaning to a corpse.”
“Exactly!” Zach said, nodding his head approvingly and playing right into Alex’s hands. “I might not get along with you, Vim, but you and I have fun going back and forth every now and again. I don’t want to see you get killed out there, man. I really don’t.”
“How touching,” Vim said dryly. “But I can see the hunger for gold in your eyes. You’re not going to fool me. I’m sending everyone I have.”
Zach swore, and then he made things even better for Alex. “You’re not even a fucking adventurer! You don’t get to roll. Mr. Oren, I swear, if you let them in on the raid, I’m getting Donovan involved in this.”
Although Alex intensely disliked deception and dishonesty, the lives of literally billions of people worldwide were at stake, and it was completely justified in this case. Right now, Zach was saving the world in real time, and this needed to continue. And so, putting on an act that he knew would fool the outraged kid, he widened his eyes and pretended to be panicked by the threat. “Don’t you dare.”
“I will. I’ll tell him you’re letting the political guilds steal all our treasure unless you stop this right now.”
“I can’t do that, Zach. But do not involve Donovan. Please. Zach, wait!” he called out, hiding his grin as the boy left the tent and presumably went to go get the man.
Zach, you might have just saved the entire planet and you have no idea you did it!
Less than two minutes after Zach stormed out of the central command tent, he returned once more with Donovan and Zephyr by his side. Alex knew the smug grin on his face was about to be wiped off, as he was a newer adventurer and did not understand just how…how devoutly the adventurers abided the law of loot when it came to raiding. It was almost like a religion. Thus, Alex continued to conceal his grin as Zach ranted to Donovan and explained the entire situation to him.
“…and so that’s what’s happening,” Zach said, breathlessly appealing to Donovan and Zephyr. “They’re trying to steal all of the loot!”
“Yeah!” Fluffles shouted, somehow having gotten involved as well. He meowed loudly and angrily at the guild leaders. Oddly enough, the cat would only help the situation as well. Anything either of the two did or said could only help. Even Fluffles was being incredibly useful here.
“Zach is a very good human for informing Fluffles. He do the right thing. I handle.” The cat jumped up onto the table and hissed at the guild-leaders. “You stay away from Fluffles’ and Zach’s loot! It for adventurers only!”
“Why?” Fiona Darkmae asked. She reached over and gave him a scratch under his chin, which he allowed. “Just how powerful is it?”
“It the most powerful ever,” Fluffles said. “Vampire man told Fluffles it the best loot.”
“Interesting…”
Fluffles and Zach continued to shout in outrage about how unfair it was for non-adventurers who “wouldn’t contribute as much” to “steal” their loot, and Alex thanked the Gods as more and more people and resources were committed to the raid as a direct result of the political guilds actually feeding off Zach’s display of greed.
Even Donovan seemed to understand the value in what they were doing, because after exchanging just a very brief look with Alex, he made a small, barely noticeable nod, and then he let it go on for far, far longer than he normally would. When it came to obeying the law of loot, he was as fanatical as it got, and he’d normally shut this kind of talk down within two seconds. Yet, in this case, it was only after nearly five minutes of Zach and Fluffles pointing, waving their arms or tail, and angrily shouting, that Donovan at last interrupted them.
“Both of you, settle down,” he said. “I’m confused and I don’t understand what’s going on here. Did I miss something?”
“Yes!” both Zach and Fluffles shouted in outrage. “They’re going to steal all of our loot,” Zach said. “Didn’t you hear us?”
“Yeah! Mean politics people take all Fluffles’ treasure!”
Donovan scratched his head. “But you just said they were gonna participate, right?”
“Well, yeah, but…but they’re political guild people.”
“So? Kid, if they fight, they roll. That’s the law, and we don’t break it for anyone.”
“B-b-but they’re…they’re not even as good as us!”
“If they fight, they roll.”
“He’s right, Zach,” Zephyr said. “You’re still new, but you’ll get it eventually. Anyone who fights gets to roll.”
“Wait, even us?” Fylwen asked, abruptly entering the tent. It appeared Zach had stirred such a commotion it had drawn her attention. “I assumed, naturally, I was precluded from any kind of loot on account of being paid for my service in the form of gold and the region of Whispery Woods.”
Donovan barked out a laugh. “I don’t care about any of that shit. You’re fighting with us, right, Your Majesty?”
“I am.”
“Then you and all your Elves get to roll. It’s really that simple. You’re entitled to every bit the same chance as anyone else.”
“Correct,” Alex said, as Zach whimpered beside him. “Even if you order all your Elves to give you whatever they roll for, it doesn’t change a thing.”
Fylwen laughed. “I would never do such a thing. If any of mine earn something, it is theirs to keep.”
Zach tapped Queen Vayra on the shoulder, and she looked at him, a smile on her face. “Yes, Zach?”
“Remember how you said we were friends now?”
“Of course I do.”
“Can you please have all hundred of your Elves roll for me?”
“Absolutely not.”
“B-but you said we were allies.”
“I said I’m your ally, not your slave, young man. Also, I’ve been quite generous with you, haven’t I? Maybe you should roll for me instead.”
Zach looked like he wanted to tear the hair out of his head. “Fine, I’ll just have Kalana roll for me.”
“We both know there’s no way she’ll do that,” Alex said.
“Then I should get two rolls!”
“Nope. One per person,” Donovan said.
Zach angrily pointed at Vim Alazar. “He’s going to make his entire guild roll just for him.”
“That’s still one per person.”
“Fuck! My chance of winning anything is basically zero now. This is bullshit.”
“Yeah!” Fluffles shouted in agreement. “This is bullshit. Zach right.”
Alex was so pleased that he didn’t even demand they watch their language as the two of them stormed off. Once they were gone, Alex exchanged yet another glance with Donovan and Zephyr, and he could see in both of their eyes that they fully understood the irony of the situation here. Right now, in this moment, there was a very, very good chance that Zach had just single-handedly saved every life on the planet with nothing more than his greed.
For the next thirty minutes, Donovan and Zephyr answered the numerous loot-related questions from the various guild-leaders, and once they were satisfied with how everything worked, it was agreed to by all involved, including Fylwen, that the “need before greed” rule would be suspended, and that anyone could roll for anything they wanted. And just like that, it looked like at least two-hundred more qualified fighters would be joining their ranks.
This meant they’d now have enough people to have an entire division dedicated just to fighting off adds if they spawned again, while the rest of them would still be able to put out enough DPS to actually kill the dragon.
And all because Zach was greedy. Truly amazing.