Chapter 56: Not Again!

Something that had become way too typical lately in Zach’s life was that any moment of true happiness or greatness tended to be followed by one of horror or misery—and vice versa. It was as though events were following along the path of some immutable track that deliberately set out to sandwich him between two constantly fluctuating extremes. Hence, as if it were a form of karmic repayment for the life-altering hour of pure bliss he’d shared with Kalana, he now found himself suffering through the single-worst night of sleep of his life—assuming the word “sleep” was even appropriate to use in this context, as he was fairly sure he did not achieve so much as a second of actual rest. And really, how could he? How, when he had so much working against him?

Even the idea of sleep seemed absurd when faced with the list of issues plaguing him, all of which he had not even been aware were issues until, three hours before midnight, a nurse came in and shut off the lights while he was resting in bed and watching the news on TV, which was finally talking about something other than him or Kalana. Apparently, it was now confirmed that Ziragoth was heading directly for the populated city of Shadowfall Coast, and this revelation had plunged all of North Bastia into further chaos, as it seemed Sir Alistair Morrison was refusing to evacuate his people.

Despite the awful but historically significant, world-altering events that he watched unfolding on the wall-mounted television, Zach had yawned the moment the lights were out and had quickly grown drowsy. Given the day he’d had, it was honestly no surprise. So, with the press of a button, he’d shut off the television, rolled over, and had prepared to finally get some rest—and it was in that moment he was fully able to appreciate just how impossible that would be, as there were numerous, significant issues barring his entry to the land of dreams. Each one of them on their own would’ve rendered sleep unachievable, but when put together? It was to the point where only medication or a blunt object to the head would stand any chance of knocking him out.

For starters, he was hellishly uncomfortable. Trying to sleep while missing an arm turned out to be extremely awkward and unpleasant. He couldn’t fold his arms under his pillow the way he liked, which on its own was bad enough, but it was made even worse thanks to the fact that these hospital pillows were so thick it was as though they were manufactured with the intent of snapping a person’s fucking neck off their body. Truly, all it took to appreciate what it meant to have two arms and two hands was to lose one for a few days. Life became that much more difficult, which was why he was grateful for the multi-million-gold regrowth treatment he’d received. Incidentally, however, that served as the catalyst for his second problem: at least as it pertained to sleep.

At some point in the past half hour, the socket of his missing eye and the point below his right shoulder had begun to itch so viciously he was tempted to slam both his body and face into his hospital-room wall just to sate the desire to scratch. Even if he could somehow find a comfortable position to lie in with just one arm, this Gods-awful itching would render it useless. It was so bad that Zach actually hissed with agitation as, the longer the night progressed, the more it gravitated from annoying, to intense, to a form of actual, bodily torture.

So like...yeah. Between his missing arm and the maddening itch in his eye and shoulder, sleep was just not going to happen for him. And yet…and yet! That wasn’t the end of things. Oh, no-no-no it was not. See, those were just the physical problems. Then there were the mental ones, and in many ways, these might’ve even been worse.

Even as a small child, Zach had never been the type of boy to be afraid of the dark. Other kids would lie awake all night after sneaking out to see a horror movie that wasn’t age-appropriate, but Zach? Never. He was never rattled during bed time. But that had all changed now, as every shadow seemed to move like Ziragoth, and several times throughout the night, he began to pant and gasp as he was sure he heard that awful, bone-chilling roar. There had even been instances where he’d thought he felt the bed shaking.

It’s not real, he would tell himself. You’re just traumatized. It’s not real. Come on, Zach. Stop being a Gods-cursed coward. You’re fine!

Several times, he’d entered a state of full panic through which he either held his breath or conversely breathed in so fast he nearly hyperventilated. And yet, through it all, he was entirely cognizant of the fact that these sensations he was experiencing were not real. He knew that Ziragoth was not in the room with him. He knew that what looked like the wyvern’s gigantic, wrathful face was just an odd bit of moonlight coming in through the partially opened window blinds and casting off of a quirky, bulbous-shaped lamp. Nevertheless, his body reacted with a panicked response that was in direct defiance of what his rational brain understood to be true.

Yet somehow, incredibly, this was still not the end of his list of issues. Because amid everything else—his itching, his awkward sleeping positions, and his panic attacks—a dark, somewhat unexpected self-loathing had popped up within him shortly after midnight. It was a sense that he had failed to keep the promise he’d made to himself after Varsh had almost killed him. On that day, he had promised himself that if he managed to survive, he would dedicate his life to never being this weak or pathetic again. And yet here he was, cowering from shadows on the walls. But it wasn’t just that, either, was it? No, it was also the fact that he should be the one going to fight the Gods-awful thing, not Kalana. Or at the very least, he should be there beside her. But for all the improvements he had made, he was still too weak. He was still so far behind. The strongest attack in his arsenal used at maximum effectiveness had only struck the wyvern for one Gods-damned damage. Just one! He felt so useless. So pathetic. His sword had been broken into pieces. He had lost his arm and his eye. He had been made into such a lowly, useless coward.

And so, tossing, turning, sweating, panicking, swearing angrily to himself, and struggling to make it through the night, all of his problems coalesced together, overwhelming him and torturing him and making him wish he hadn’t sent Rian and Lienne back to their hotel for the night. He needed them right now. Gods, he really needed them.

But isn’t that the problem? he wondered.

Something strange happened. Something inside of himself seemed to click. It was only as he reached this concourse of various discomforts, fears, and insecurities that his one eye snapped widely open, and an exhilarating rush of determination burned through his body as it finally occurred to him what he had to do: what he needed to do.

I need to make myself whole again.

On the physical front, it was only a matter of time, not circumstance. But on the mental front, he needed to be proactive: desperately so. Because regardless of what any Gods-damned doctor said, Zach knew himself well enough to know that, if he languished here for four or five more nights, his fear of Ziragoth would spread like a virus and become a fear of mobs in general. A fear of adventuring. A fear of ever being hurt or frightened so terribly ever again. He needed to confront this. He needed to pull himself back together or he’d spend every night from now on jumping at the shadows of lampshades. No, no, he needed to act. And he needed to act now. It didn’t matter that it was only two hours past midnight. It didn’t matter that his actions would be perceived as those of a raving lunatic. He needed to do something crazy. Something bold and audacious. Something terrifying. Something that seemed so intimidating and daunting that had he been in his normal state of mind, he’d have lambasted himself for even considering it. And what was more: he needed to do it alone.

He loved his new friends. He wanted to adventure with Rian and Lienne: and by the Gods, he intended to. But for this, he needed to go solo. He needed to pick his ass up out of bed right now and just…and just get it done. He needed restoration. He needed to gain back at least something of his that he’d lost. And he knew exactly what that something should be, too.

I’m an insane idiot, he told himself. Am I really going to do this?

As though to both torment himself but also channel some of his self-loathing into motivation, Zach touched his left hand to his right shoulder-blade, though not to inspect his now-healed wound, feel for any regrowth progress, or even to scratch the infuriating itch, but to tap it four times and bring forth his stats. Since he was not currently wearing a single piece of his equipment, the numbers that appeared before him were represented as their raw, base values.

Zachys Calador: Level 13

(2417/15000)

8 strength

4 dexterity

6 constitution

48 intelligence

4 speed

4 luck

Putting aside his bafflingly high intelligence stat, which was literally of no use to him as he did not possess a single spell or ability that scaled off it other than perhaps his Phase Slash, which apparently scaled off every stat—though he still hadn’t yet gotten around to trying that one out—Zach couldn’t help but feel a blast of disappointment. In fact, he’d been counting on feeling that way. It was deliberate. He wanted to feel disappointment in himself. That way, he could then channel that disappointment into more determination. His stats truly were garbage for a level 13. Sure, he could use his Unleashed Phase for fifteen minutes—less if he used any abilities—but that was of small comfort for the other twenty-three hours and forty-five minutes out of the day. Although, as he thought on it, he had the sense that it might not be entirely impossible for him to use the ability twice in one day if he really had to.

If he used Unleashed Phase and Phase Reset, but then allowed his Unleashed Phase to expire, he was fairly certain he had enough stamina now to avoid going into E-debt from a single high-exertion cost. Undoubtedly, it would wipe him the fuck out, make no mistake. He would be panting and on his ass. But if he then rested up and made sure to take it easy for a few hours? He could probably do it. And for the insane, utter madness he was about to actually inflict upon himself, he might actually need to make use of such a tactic. In fact, he would definitely need to.

I can’t believe I’m really going to do this. Oh well. Even if I end up getting myself killed, no one can say I didn’t finally grow a pair.

As Zach really let it sink in that he was actually going to do this—and with one arm and one eye, too—he could not prevent himself from laughing uproariously. Maybe he really did have a death wish after all. Even still…he could not let himself become paralyzed with fear. If he did not nip this in the bud, it would be with him forever. What he needed now more than anything was to set a single objective and achieve it. And right now, that objective was to again retrieve something he’d lost. Rian and Lienne would just have to forgive him for going at this solo. Same for Fluffles, who was out “playing” somewhere in Tomb of Fire and would probably be upset when he returned and saw that Zach was missing.

Having well and truly made up his mind, Zach hurried over to the green chair near the bed, on top of which was his equipment: folded and cleaned. Changing out of the plain pair of pajamas the hospital had provided for him, he quickly threw on his reddish-brown tunic, along with his pants and his bandana. Then, having to use his teeth, he wrapped one of his cloth hand wraps around his left hand. Once he was sure it fit snugly, he slipped into his sandals and attached his harness and scabbard over his back. Having left his stats and inventory open, he confirmed that his set bonus was still active despite missing his right hand wrap. He supposed this meant that one-armed people could still use gear sets. It was a useful piece of information to know if he ever ended up in this situation again—which Gods help him if he did. At any rate, with his equipment back on, he once more regarded his stats.

Zachys Calador: Level 13

(2417/15000)

Armor Bonus: 12

12 strength

8 dexterity

9 constitution

49 intelligence

6 speed

5 luck

Though inflated via equipment, they certainly looked a lot better now than they did in their base values. Nevertheless, it was still far behind what someone at his level should have. Well, someone other than a pure mage, which Zach most certainly was not, lacking even a single usable spell. Regardless, now that he was dressed, there was just one final thing to do before departing.

Activating Bank and Storage, the visualization of a large storage chest around waist-level in height with the width of a wide coffin materialized in the air before him along with a piggybank. Reaching above himself with his one and only hand, he raised his right wrist wrap, which he could not currently use, and chucked it inside the chest. Then he grabbed his old sword that Fluffles had crafted for him. Though it was a bit small for the scabbard on his back, it still fit just well enough that he was sure he didn’t have to worry about it. Lastly, he withdrew a thousand gold from his piggybank and stuffed it into his wallet. And now, with that out of the way, it was time to go. It was time to be crazy.

“I’m such an idiot,” he moaned. “What am I even doing?”

Drawing a deep breath, he forced his feet to move before he allowed doubt and hesitation to paralyze him. Honestly, the worst part of what he was about to do would likely be the eeriness of being alone during it all. The feeling of it would be totally different now, wouldn’t it?

That’s why I have to do this by myself. With one Gods-damned arm. If I can do this, I can…I can restore myself.

Letting himself out of the fancy, rich-person hospital room where he still could not believe he had stayed, Zach marched down the totally quiet and now dark hallway on the highest floor in the building and made his way to the elevator. The receptions desk across from it was empty. Zach had been given a button near his bed to press in the event of an emergency, but aside from that, it appeared he truly had complete privacy up here. It was far removed from the packed and constantly noisy lower-levels, which he knew resembled much more of a traditional hospital.

Thumbing the elevator call button, he glanced around nervously as he waited for it to arrive. Then, once it reached his floor and opened with a ding, he stepped inside, pressed the button labeled “LL,” and readied himself as the door closed and he felt the elevator begin to descend. Unlike the last one he’d ridden in, this was a much smoother, much more delicate ride, and at no point was he thrown up and into the ceiling. Hardening his resolve, he briefly closed his eye and visualized his objective as the next minute passed in what was total silence aside from the slight buzz from the light at the top of the elevator and the occasional soft clink each time he passed a floor.

Following another ding, the elevator doors reopened, and now Zach stepped out into a much louder, much noisier, and much livelier scene as, even at this time of night, doctors and nurses shuffled back and forth through the lobby, some wheeling people in on gurneys and others wheeling people out in wheelchairs. Several medical personnel ran over to assist their coworkers as a man who was foaming out of his mouth was rushed inside of the building. Zach thought he heard one of the doctors urgently mention the word “overdose” before calling out a list of medications as an IV drip was put in his arm.

Across from him was a fairly large waiting area where a multitude of people in widely varying conditions sat on hard, uncomfortable-looking blue seats as they waited for a doctor to see either them or their family member, friend, or loved one whom they’d brought with them. In a separate, but similar room directly across from this one, another group of people were also seated, though Zach was pretty sure this group was for those awaiting news of loved ones in surgery. In both rooms, a fair number of scrolling, touch-screen devices displaying the logo of the Guild of Gentlemen were attached to the wooden tables near the blue seats; each of these touch screens contained information about “humanity’s greatness and perseverance” and allowed patients waiting for their turn to “entertain” themselves by selecting a particular medical advancement that humans contributed to Galterra and learning about all the lives that it had saved.

Zach observed as a little boy who could not have been any older than five slapped his entire palm down on one of these devices then began to giggle as a voice came from a speaker built into the wooden table. Even from where Zach stood near the elevator, he could clearly hear the words of the narrator, who spoke loudly enough to be understood over the typical raucous sound of a hospital.

“Though it may surprise or even shock you to hear this, despite the millions of lives all across Galterra that humanity has saved with our advancements in airway enlargement, even the Dwarves, who most benefitted from our breakthrough technology, have yet to issue their thanks to humanity for this medical miracle that we provided to our world.”

Making his way towards the automatic, sliding-glass-door entryway, Zach hurriedly walked first across a wide corridor and then across the waiting room, hoping to simply slip outside unnoticed. Unfortunately, he did not get very far before he ended up unintentionally drawing attention to himself simply by existing. He was immediately spotted by nurses, doctors, and patients alike, who seemed to bubble over with excitement at the sight of him. In fact, literally every single person in this section of the waiting room turned to look at him as he drew nearer, and those who didn’t were tapped on the shoulder by those beside them, which usually accompanied excited whispers or outright shouts.

“Holy shit, it’s him!” a guy who looked to be in his early twenties said. “Dude, that’s him!”

“No way. It can’t be.”

“It is! I swear!”

The more that people shouted and the more excited they became, the more subsequent unwanted attention Zach found heaped upon him. One by one, everyone in the hospital lobby who wasn’t too wounded or sick to move their bodies turned in his direction. Now, a middle-aged woman he did not recognize approached him and tugged on the sleeve of his tunic. “Young man, are you Zachys Calador?”

Zach tilted his head to the side. “Uh, do I know you?”

Rather than reply, she again asked, “Are you Zachys?”

“Well, yeah, but—”

“Oh my Gods!” she shouted, loudly. “Everyone, it is him! Wow. Young man, can I just say it is such an honor to meet you. My name is—”

“Ah, I’m really sorry, but I’m in a rush. Nice meeting you, though!”

To Zach’s confusion and perhaps even horror, a massive throng of people began to encircle and crowd around him. They all called his name. Why were they treating him like he was some kind of celebrity? Was this really all because of the dragon thing? He hoped this would just be a temporary phenomenon that went away after a week or two had passed. Though, from some of the things they were shouting at him, he was starting to suspect it might linger just a bit longer.

“It’s Kalana’s boyfriend!” a girl Zach’s age squeaked. “I ship you two so hard!”

“The fuck does that mean?” Zach asked, briefly stopping in place to give the girl a sidelong look without even turning his head. “You mean like a package?”

Rather than answer him, the girl’s entire face seemed to become contorted with pain and hurt. She even began to tear up and cry. “He hates me,” she whispered. “I’m such an idiot. I said something dumb. He hates me so much.”

“Huh? I don’t even know who you—whoah, buddy, easy,” Zach said, backing away from a man who tried to grab him. These people were behaving like they were possessed. He did not like this at all. To make matters worse, the doctors and nurses were now approaching him, and several pushed and shoved their way through the crowd as they made their way towards him.

“Young man,” a tall, auburn-haired woman in a doctor’s uniform said to him. “You haven’t been discharged.”

“I’m discharging myself,” Zach replied to her.

“I’ve been explicitly told by my superiors you’re to stay here for at least a few more nights.”

Zach rubbed his face, becoming frustrated. He really, really didn’t want to be an asshole, but he needed to keep moving before he lost his will to actually attempt something so insane. Thus, fixing her with a hard stare, he asked, “How are you going to stop me?”

The doctor seemed taken aback, as though this question had never even occurred to her. Even as she stood there gawking at him as if frozen in place while searching her brain for an answer, Zach marched directly past her, then found himself actually having to use a small degree of force to push himself through the back perimeter of the gathered crowd, all of whom actually tried to reach out and touch him like he was some kind of texture sample at a furniture store. What in the name of the Gods was wrong with these people?

Even worse, as he approached the automatic, sliding entryway, a group of shady-looking individuals with large, black cameras accompanied by another group of much nicer dressed but also shady-looking individuals rushed inside the hospital and got in his way before he could get out. From the way they shouted a barrage of questions, some quite inane, he assumed them to be reporters. Why were they here at such a late hour? Surely they hadn’t been camping out just in case he decided to sneak out at night, right?

“What can you tell us about the fire wyvern, Mr. Calador?” a sleazy-looking man in a trench coat asked him.

“Mr. Calador, Mr. Calador!” called a far more nicely attired woman wearing a blue, button-up dress. “What advice can you give to teens facing addiction problems?”

Zach looked around, confused. Was that question intended for him? The woman had said his name, and she’d looked right at him while she was speaking, but the question was so bizarre and random he couldn’t quite understand why it was something anyone would ask him of all people.

“I’m sorry?” he said.

“What advice,” she repeated, “would you offer teens your age facing addiction problems?”

“Why…would I know that? Excuse me, I really have to get—”

“Mr. Calador!” shouted a thin, short man with a bushy mustache wearing a blue pinstripe sports coat. “Prior to the appearance of the wyvern, the Royal Roses were planning to use conventional warfare if Sir Alistair Morrison of the Dark-Water Depths refused to either surrender or meet on the field of combat. What do you make of this decision?”

Zach opened his mouth despite having nothing to say, because he couldn’t even understand why someone would come to him for an answer to this question in the first place. Honestly, it wasn’t even the presence of these reporters that shocked him so much—though that on its own would be shocking to someone like him, who had never been assailed like this before—but more so, it was the absurd questions he was being called to answer. Why would anyone ask him some of these things? He could understand if they wanted to know something about Ziragoth like that trench-coat guy had or maybe even Kalana, but the more these reporters pestered him, the stranger and oddly more political the questions became.

“Sir, do you think the People of Virtue is correct in their call for a change of monetary policy?” one asked.

“Mr. Calador, how do you feel about the land reclamation deal proposed by—”

“Guys, please, stop,” he said, even as they all pointed their cameras at him. “I don’t know the answers to any of these questions. I have to go. I’m sorry.”

Feeling exposed, he involuntarily lowered his head and shielded his face as the reporters and their cameramen followed him out of the hospital and into the street. Luckily, once he’d made it to the relatively open hospital parking lot, he was able to pick up the pace and move far, far faster than any of these level-1 reporters could. Even without Unleashed Phase, his 6 points into speed was enough to leave this crowd behind him in the dust, crossing the entire span of the parking lot in the time it took them to walk just a few feet away from the entrance.

Once they had given up their pursuit of him, he slowed himself down somewhat. Then he halted altogether as he was quite simply struck by the reality-defying beauty and brilliance of Tomb of Fire all lit up at night. All around him was color. There was color everywhere. The tops of buildings shined different colors: some blue, some green, some purple, and one that oscillated between all three. Several skyscrapers had literal streams of real fire shooting up into the air, and the tallest building on the street just ahead of him had its entire front-facing side projecting silly cartoon images. Were the screens built into the windows themselves? How did they even do that?

Despite the average street being just as jam-packed and dense as any to be found in Whispery Woods, there was a certain cleanliness here. The smells were better, the people more relaxed and courteous, and despite it being the middle of the night, Zach had the sense that the streets were nevertheless perfectly safe for ordinary people to traverse, even unaccompanied women traveling alone by themselves, something that would be a big no-no in certain parts of Whispery Woods. Truly, it was breathtaking. And it was also difficult to believe that the same guild was in control of governing both cities. The disparities could not be any more obvious.

Shaking his head in amazement, he smiled as he walked down the beautiful streets—literally, as in the very streets themselves were beautiful. Currently, rather than pavement, the entire sidewalk on which he walked was made up of giant white squares that were apparently LED screens, as each time he walked over one, it would light up a different color. With so many people walking up and down the street even at this time of night, the darkness was cast away by a bright assortment of multicolored lights coming off the ground. It never ceased to amaze Zach how unfair life was for some and how wonderful and brilliant for others. In Whispery Woods, forget having beautiful sidewalk lights—they were lucky if their streetlights functioned properly.

As much as Zach wanted to take in—no, not even take in, but drown in the sights of the city, he knew he needed to keep moving towards his goal, as the longer it took him to get there, the more he would start to question whether or not it was actually a good idea. And so, hailing a taxi DEHV, he waved at the driver as he pulled up to the curb near the sidewalk. The moment the vehicle came to a complete stop, Zach slipped inside the back seat. He wrinkled his nose at the combined smell of leather and perfume, which while not outright unpleasant, was still kind of off.

“Where ya heading?” the driver asked. He was a man who looked to be in his mid-fifties with a pudgy bald head and a demeanor that, while not quite unfriendly, was certainly far from warm.

Reaching into his pocket, Zach opened up a map on his phone and pointed. “Can you take me there?”

“There?” the driver asked.

“Yeah.”

“No way, kid,” he said, shaking his head. “That whole region’s on lockdown.”

Zach sighed. “How much does it normally cost for a trip there? It’s, what, an hour-ten drive from here without traffic?”

“About eighty gold at this time of night,” the driver said, “but it doesn’t matter, because I can’t take you there.”

Zach leaned forward in his seat. “Okay, I’ll play your game. 200 gold, sir.”

“Kid, I don’t think you understand. Even if I wanted to, the DEHV literally won’t let me drive there since the region has been flagged as on lockdown.”

“500 gold,” Zach said. “Everyone knows you cab drivers have your own custom software installed.”

The man frowned in a way that was exaggerated and almost playful. “That would be illegal. I’d never do that. Sorry, I can’t help you.”

“A thousand gold,” Zach said, no longer giving a shit. He just needed to get there. For the first time, money was of no importance to him.

The man looked at him as though he were crazy. “Wait, for real?”

“Yes.” Zach reached into his wallet and removed the two 500 coins he’d taken out of his piggybank and waved them in front of the cab driver’s eyes.

The man went completely silent for a moment, but Zach could totally recognize the look of greed in his eyes, as it was one he himself was no stranger to wearing. The taxi driver opened his mouth, briefly licked his lips, and then raised his right index finger to his nose while simultaneously winking at Zach.

“Kid, even for a thousand gold I couldn’t do it,” he said again, continuing to wink. “That’d be illegal.” Slowly, he turned back around, faced forward, and then flipped a switch, which caused the voices coming through what seemed like some kind of radio on his dashboard to abruptly cut off. Now, once again, he faced in Zach’s direction.

Unlawfully taken from Royal Road, this story should be reported if seen on Amazon.

“A thousand gold? You’ve got a deal. I’ll get you there in fifty minutes, too.” The man greedily held out his hand, palm open, and with a saddened sigh, Zach placed his precious gold into the man’s eagerly awaiting hand, which seemed to shake with excitement. Then the man looked at him, tilted his head slightly, and blinked. “Whoah! Hey, ain’t you that kid from TV? Zachys Calador?”

Zach moaned and rubbed his forehead. “Yeah, but please, I don’t mean to be rude, but I don’t feel like answering any questions.”

At this, the cab driver released something that came across as a mix between a brief laugh and a heavy cough. “Hey, kid, for a thousand gold, I’ll answer the questions for you. Just relax and sit tight.”

With that, Zach fastened his seatbelt and the DEHV took off. And in what came as a total surprise to him, he somehow managed to do in the weird-smelling, oddly comfortable backseat of the taxi DEHV what he could not do in the fancy hotel-like hospital room: he dozed off. And thus, what should have been a long ride through dark countryside came and went so fast that, before Zach had even realized they’d left the city, the man was calling his name and waking him up. They were somehow there already.

Looking out of his window, Zach widened his eye in amazement. “Did you…did you drive off-road?” he asked, realizing the DEHV was now hovering slightly above grass and dirt: something that was really, really not supposed to be possible.

“Uh, no,” the driver said. Then he again playfully raised his finger to his nose.

Cab drivers, Zach thought, stifling a laugh. They really are all the same.

Zach waited for the man to disable the hover engines, and then he thanked the driver and opened the backseat door. “What, no tip?” he asked with a toothy grin as Zach leapt out the back and his sandals touched down on solid, grassy ground.

“Yeah,” Zach said back to him, “about 920 gold.”

The man laughed and then, before Zach could even adjust his one eye to the darkness around him, he had to shield his face from the bright lights of the vehicle as it roared back to life and sped off. Though abrupt and disorienting, the brief, but powerful illumination managed to shine just enough light to jog Zach’s memory of his surroundings.

“I’m actually fucking doing this,” Zach said to himself.

Oddly enough, he was not as afraid as he’d been expecting to be. No, if anything, he was excited. He was eager. He was determined. He was ready to kick ass like he’d never kicked ass before. Even having only just awoken from a fifty-minute nap, he was already pumped-up and filled with a burst of enthusiasm and energy. Honestly, he hadn’t expected to feel this amped—but he was. He really, really was.

“I’m doing this,” he said aloud with a laugh. “I’m really fucking doing this!”

And with that, he took off at a full-on sprint. Though nowhere as fast as what he could achieve while under the effects of Unleashed Phase, he still moved at a pace far faster than any normal level-1 human could ever hope to rival as his feet stomped down on grass and dirt. The wind picked up and ruffled his clothing as he made a dash past a familiar-looking farmhouse; the farmer who owned it was sitting on the porch, and his eyes lit up with recognition as Zach passed him by.

“H-hey!” he shouted. “You owe me for that fence of mine you broke!”

“I forgot!” Zach called back to him as he zipped by. “I’ll definitely pay you back, I promise!”

“Naw, it’s all right, son!” the man shouted as Zach pulled away from him. “Consider it even for savin’ all those lives.”

“Thank you!”

Filled with energy, Zach raced quickly up a steep hill and then soared past a chicken coup, beyond which was another hill. And it was upon reaching the top of this hill that Zach began to nod his head even as he ran, mentally psyching himself up for what he could now actually enjoy because he was aware of it in advance. As his destination approached ahead of him, he leaned forward slightly as he ran. With careful precision, he angled his body, oriented himself so that he pointed in the exact correct direction, and took a deep breath. Then, abruptly bending his knees, he leapt up into the air, flipped twice, and then extended his arm perfectly out in front of him as he disappeared inside of a gigantic boulder with his body now pointed directly downwards. For the first time in his life, he was getting to dive into a pool.

Unlike last time, he let out a cheer of enjoyment rather than a cry of fear as he flew downwards through the darkness. With the element of terror removed, he now realized that the drop was nowhere near as bad or as scary as it had been the first time he had come here to Catacombs of Yorna. With a giddy laugh, he landed with a gigantic splash into the pool. Now that he had actually brought himself here, he was no longer quite so limited on time, and so he actually decided to take a few minutes to enjoy himself and swim a few laps back and forth in the pool while doing the breaststroke.

One of the most fascinating things he’d discovered since becoming an adventurer was that, when setting out to do something that seemed stupid and dangerous, he could never tell in advance if he was going to be terrified or excited and eager when he showed up. For whatever reason, there was just no way of knowing until he was actually here, in the moment.

After enjoying a good swim, he exited the pool and stretched his one arm out wide. Oddly enough, his opposite shoulder had stopped itching. And it actually looked kind of longer now. It was as though the amputation had occurred a few inches lower along his upper arm as opposed to the shoulder blade. And also…now that he thought about it, he felt like he could kind of blink “something.” He didn’t want to call it his right eye, because that wouldn’t be entirely accurate. But there was something there: something that vaguely felt like an eye behind all that gauze and tape, but also something that wasn’t quite an eye, either—well, not yet anway.

Doing a few quick squats, rotating his shoulder cuffs, and stretching his neck, Zach got ready to burn through this place like a fucking barn-fire. He had come here with a purpose in mind: a goal. And that goal was simple. He was going to get his Gods-damned sword back: his Yorna’s Sword of Courage. He was going to restore himself. And to do that, it would begin with regaining the weapon he’d earned but had lost. He was also fairly sure he knew where he could again obtain it: B5—Moldark. He’d had a quest, hadn’t he? Before Rian and Lienne had fucked it all up. Moldark the NPC—before turning into a boss on floor B10—had wanted like spider silks or something, right? Zach was sure that if they would’ve all done the quest the proper way, all three of them probably would’ve gotten one of those swords.

Oh, wait a second! Does that also mean I’ll get more of those stones, too? he wondered. He hoped so. He really hoped so. He would be rich beyond his wildest dreams.

Drawing his sword in a tight, one-handed grip, he hurried his way out of the pool room, down the narrow hall, and into the stairwell labeled B0->B1. Marching down the steps, he emerged in a now familiar location: the rock-and-gravel covered cavernous area of B1. And as he had done on his first trip here, he squeezed through the tiny little opening in the wall that was too small to fit without scraping his body against the rock. Though, with his constitution now at 11, his skin was more likely to leave a scratch in the passage than the passage was likely to leave a scratch in his skin.

As Zach maneuvered three-quarters of the way through the opening, he immediately paused, laughed greedily, and then used his elbow to squish the tiny little spider crawling on the wall for an easy +1xp. Hey, why not? No, really, why not? What did it cost him to do that? Every point added up. With his one experience point now added to his total, he continued to shimmy his way through the passageway. Now, emerging into the first of two much-wider areas, Zach, without even bothering to turn his head to look, pivoted lightly on his feet and thrust his sword off to his right side, killing a Skelly Grunt that he knew was there waiting for him. Then, for no other reason than he thought it would be fun, he briefly sheathed his sword and extended his palm in the direction of the other Skelly Grunt across the room, and with that, he activated his equipment set ability, causing a spinning black ball to emerge from the palm of his hand, which streaked across the air before striking Skelly Grunt B.

Then Zach laughed at his own stupidity as a “0” popped up above the skeleton’s head. He’d forgotten that dread magic doesn’t do any damage to the undead. But it did at least serve as an easy, cheap, and literally effortless way to pull a mob without having to use any exertion.

“Frrruughhh!” the scimitar-wielding skeleton roared as it ambled towards him.

At this point, even putting stats aside, Zach had become so much more proficient with the use of a sword that even if he didn’t have much better stats now than he’d had the last time he’d come through here, he still wouldn’t have had to worry. The skeleton raised its sword to strike, but Zach was faster. With a quick, efficient, but very light strike across the chest, he laid into the 45HP mob for 91 damage while barely straining himself in the process. As the skeleton crumpled to a pile of bones, and a +25xp appeared in the air where it had just been standing, Zach again briefly sheathed his sword, bent down, grabbed a nice, fresh bag of skelly chips, tore it open, poured half of them in his mouth at once, then tossed the other half of the bag over his shoulder while he crunched with his entire mouth stuffed full like a child.

Interestingly, he did not see any of his old belongings here in the center of the room where he’d spilled them. This left him genuinely baffled. Had someone come and stolen all of his shit? Or was there like a secret janitor that cleaned this place up? There wasn’t even a trace of the mess he’d left in the middle of the floor in this area from the first time he’d come here.

Oh well.

With a playful little flourish, he twirled his sword and then stepped through another narrow opening in another wall and into the next area. The moment he entered, five Skelly Grunts all converged on him at once, with three managing to swing their scimitars at him at almost the exact same time. Yet even that tiny disparity in speed was enough for Zach to deftly swat away each one and return with a strike of his own. Honestly, he was toying with these things. He doubted their scimitars could even still do all that much more than scratch him. Lobbing off the heads of the remaining two Skelly Grunts, he pulled up his stats.

Zachys Calador: Level 13

(2593/15000)

Armor Bonus: 12

12 strength

8 dexterity

9 constitution

49 intelligence

6 speed

5 luck

Yeah. He had now become way, way, way too high level for these peasant Skelly Grunts. Even with the full +25xp a kill as a result of being solo, it was barely making a dent. With a shrug and a sigh, he hurried on and quickly traversed a tunnel that led to a metal door labeled B1->B2.

“Okay, here’s where I’ve got to rush,” he said aloud to himself.

Stepping through the metal door and into what, at least for now looked like your ordinary, garden-variety stairwell complete with a metal railing and short, easy steps, Zach grinned, straightened his back, and then called upon what had become his favorite ability. Once more, Zach Calador became unleashed.

All at once, his skin began to glow and a constant smoke of such darkness it seemed almost illusory began to rise from his hand and both his feet. And now, he saw the world far differently than before—or at least he did after a moment, as he had to will forward all the information he’d dismissed when he’d fought Ziragoth. First, he brought back his experience bar and put it below him. Then, he brought up a list of his abilities and their costs in time, with the duration of his Unleashed Phase on top. As a testament to how little exertion he burned on the way down here, he began with 14:99, which meant that he had only had to pay for a second’s worth of energy replenishment.

Unleashed Phase Duration

14:59 Remaining

Wave Slash

1:15

Boundless

0:10

Phase Blink

0:20

Phase Shield (READY) (25 seconds)

0:45

Phase Rescue

0:35 / 2:15 (if used with Boundless)

Phase Slash

1:10 / 6:10 (if used with ??)

While he was at it, he decided to take a quick peek at his stats again.

Name

Zachys Calador

Level

13

EXP

2593/15000

Armor Bonus

47

Strength

32

Dexterity

28

Constitution

29

Intelligence

69

Speed

26

Luck

25

Now, with his stats having been boosted by twenty across the board, he felt wonderful: better than wonderful, even. He inhaled, filling his lungs with fresh, invigorating air as a tremendous sense of power and control came upon him. He was stronger, quicker, better coordinated, and he had much greater balance on his feet. Since there was nothing in this next stretch to kill, Zach sheathed his sword.

Then, confidently grinning, he exploded forward with enough momentum that he remained airborne for almost ten full seconds. By the time his feet again clicked against the stairs, they were already nearly two-feet high and several feet apart. Zach didn’t care. Once again, he blasted himself forward, and he did so again and again each time he landed.

In less than half a minute, he managed to cover a distance that had originally taken him, Lienne, and Rian almost three hours to cross. Now, the drop between steps had reached the point where Zach had originally began sitting down and sliding off to soften the blow. This time, however, he merely ran forward, and now, as the distance between each step grew longer and longer, he was finally able to enter into a full sprint. He simply could not believe the speed at which he was clearing this stairwell from hell.

The most amazing part of all was that, now that he was able to travel this way, he kind of didn’t want it to end. He was actually enjoying this. Eventually, however, he reached the final step. He smiled, remembering the daring maneuver he’d had to pull off to get down this massive drop. This time, however, he merely spun around so that his back-faced the ledge, and then he extended his arm widely, closed his one working eye, and allowed himself to fall backwards off it.

For a few seconds, he relaxed his body and simply enjoyed the feeling of the freefall. Then, a moment before impact, he spun his body twice midair and landed nimbly on his feet—and all with 13:58 remaining on Unleashed Phase.

“Okay, easy,” he said aloud. “Next.”

Even amid all his confidence and feeling of strength, he had to admit that he did feel a nervous pinch in his belly as he placed his palm flat on the metal push door labeled B2. It wasn’t that he actually held any concern that the Eeps on this floor could do him bodily harm, as even in their giant swarm, his constitution was wayyyyy too high for their teeth to penetrate his skin. Rather, he simply disliked the general scenery and ambience of the place. It had not been pleasant.

Breathing out a sigh, he pushed open the door and then stepped back into the world he had later learned was called Earth and was supposedly the birthplace of humanity. Immediately, the smell of smoke and ash filled his nose. Behind him was the same brick wall he’d seen last time, and ahead of him was the same dark corridor that led to a literal dungeon filled with the tortured remains of actual living beings. The fact that he now knew for certain that they were real and not just dungeon props made him feel a bit sick to his stomach.

As it had done last time, the metal door collapsed and fell to the floor once Zach was completely through it. Pausing for just a very brief moment to consider his options and how best to spend his time, he decided to avoid messing with the Eeps, as even if he killed the entire swarm and got solo xp for it, it still wouldn’t be worth it, as they were only worth +10xp a kill solo, and the time required to kill all 300 of them would be wasted.

Deciding to just breeze past this floor, Zach took off at run so fast that his eye could barely register the grisly scenes all around this dark environment, which was lit only by torches placed around columns spaced far enough apart that there were areas of complete darkness in between. Aside from those torches, the only other source of light was the little bit of reddish light that streaked in from some of the small windows on the tops of some of the cells. Overall, the visibility in B2 was quite awful and was just as bad as Zach remembered it.

It wasn’t even just the lack of light, either: there was also a mist that that rose several-feet high and made anything below his knees impossible to see. The poor lighting and dense, rising mist, combined with the incredibly fast Eep respawn timer, was what had made this such a perilous journey the first go around. There were so many Eeps that one wrong move could bring the entire horde down on an unsuspecting adventurer. But none of that mattered this time, of course, because he was now burning across this dungeon so Gods-damned fast that he really didn’t have to worry about the individual Eeps or the swarm. He simply bypassed them. He moved with such rapidity that, by the time the things actually took aggro, he was too far gone for them to ever catch up.

Doing his best not to look at the insurmountable levels of cruelty on display in this hellish, literal dungeon, Zach continued to burn his way through this floor like it was nothing. Eventually, he reached the shutter door that led to that gross cafeteria. Strangely, though, as Zach approached, he realized that the shutter door had none of the cosmetic damage left on it from the last time he was here and was now back where it belonged despite the Eeps having broken it down.

Rather than slow down and yank it open, Zach decided to save time and simply ram his entire body through it. With a deafening bang, he exploded into the door, which was then sent flying at tremendous speed across the cafeteria before smashing into one of the old, burned tables, which was knocked straight upwards, where it flipped three times in the air before miraculously landing back down right-side up. Then, with a second, but less intense bang, the garage-sized shutter door smashed against the floor.

“B2 is too easy,” Zach said with a laugh.

Once more soaring forward, he recklessly tore his way through the cafeteria. At first, he had to constantly slow down to avoid this obstacle or that obstacle. But then he realized it was all a waste of time, and so he decided to run in a straight line, and whatever ended up in his way ended up in his way, and so be it.

The result was a cataclysmic eruption of bangs and booms as he ran into tables, chairs, and benches. The collision with his speeding body caused them to hurtle across the cafeteria as he ripped his way through it, creating secondary bangs as some crashed into others and a few ended up flying through large glass windows. He’d almost feel bad for making a mess of the place if it wasn’t already a decayed, burned-up husk spilling over with rot and rust.

Thanks to a speed fast enough that it would make his past-self jealous, he managed to make it to the car garage with 12:45 left on Unleashed Phase. And it was here that things finally clicked in his head. Upon seeing the yellow, stylish Ford Mustang parked exactly where it was the last time he had come through here, it finally dawned on him why his stuff was missing from B1, the damage they’d inflicted last time had become undone, and the car garage was essentially unchanged.

The floors must reset after a certain amount of time, he realized.

Although just a guess, Zach imagined that, as long as a floor wasn’t too badly tampered with, such as B7 literally being nothing more than a beautiful beach in Shadowfall Coast, everything would likely eventually reset to a default state. Whether it was based on time or some other factor, Zach could not say. But he must surely have been correct, because unless that guy…what was his name again? Reni Sarwin? Yeah. Unless that guy Reni Sarwin had driven the Ford Mustang back here to be polite, then things had reset.

But then what happens to the version of the car I gave him?

This was definitely a question he’d need to ask Mr. Oren or Donovan about the next time he saw them. For now, however, he had to make a snap decision as to whether or not he should take off at a run or use a car to drive to Angelica’s. On the one hand, Zach knew for sure that he could run faster than these “cars” could go even at their full speed—but only slightly. On the other hand, he also knew that would exhaust the hell out of him. Having already wasted five seconds in thought, he decided to just take the car again because he’d loved it last time. It might be a bit tougher now though to operate it while missing his right arm and hand. Still, he thought he could make do.

But first, he approached the gigantic metal shutter and tried to remember where the switch was that Lienne had activated to open it up and allow their escape. Growling, he struggled to find where it was, wasting even more time. But then he abruptly stopped searching, as he remembered that his strength was also now literally on the level of a God, at least when compared to an ordinary, level-1 human being. Could he really not just simply bash it down? Like, sure, maybe it looked impossible. It looked like it couldn’t be done. But nevertheless, Zach continued to wonder: why could he not just punch or kick the entire garage shutter clean off the building?

To hell with it. I’m trying it.

With his sword still sheathed, he chambered his left knee into his chest, and then with all his strength, he shouted out a loud grunt and sent his left foot soaring forward. To both his amazement and disbelief, he not only knocked the entire wall-sized shutter door clean off the parking garage and sent it hurtling into the air and through an old, burned-up house across the street, but he also took the rest of the wall with it as well as the front door.

“I can’t believe how strong I am,” he said. Then he chided himself. Because he remembered this level of strength was still nothing compared to Ziragoth or even what most of the adventurers he’d met so far were capable of. Hell, even Mister and Misses Britethorn could probably literally punch his head off his shoulders with a right hook.

I have a long way to go, he thought.

Grabbing the car keys where he’d found them last time, he hurried inside the Ford Mustang, turned on the engine, and though somewhat uncomfortable and awkward, he still managed to both steer and manage that stick-thing that took the vehicle out of parking mode. He wasn’t sure what it was called, as these kinds of vehicles did not exist on Galterra.

Backing out and then turning the vehicle onto the road, he disengaged what he’d come to think of as “reversal” mode and put the car in “D” which he guessed meant “drive,” though he couldn’t be certain. Either way, it did what he needed it to do, and so with a roar from the primitive—but somehow oddly charming—gas-powered engine, he slammed his foot down onto the acceleration pedal and took off, gaining speed at a rate much slower than a DEHV but steady enough to not make things difficult on what was very much an old, dilapidated highway from a civilization he simply could not believe used to be the birthplace of humanity.

Up above, the crimson sky briefly added a blue shine to its all-encompassing red as a bolt of lightning streaked across. Zach wondered what in the name of the Gods the humans of the past had done to turn the sky red. Or had it always been red? He had no clue, but if he had to take a guess, he’d bet on it once having been blue, as the color of it right now just did not seem natural. Whatever humans had been up to in the long-ago past, they’d really screwed things up big time.

As much as he wanted to slow down to learn more and take in the remnants of humanity’s past, his Unleashed Phase was now down to twelve minutes, and he couldn’t risk wasting any time for the sake of exploration. Even as he kept the acceleration pedal depressed and roared along at over a hundred miles per hour, he knew it would still take another three minutes of his time—at the least—before he got to his next exit. And as things turned out, it ended up taking four!

With 8:07 remaining on Unleashed Phase, Zach bolted into the underpass, not even stopping to look at his available points listed on the sign, then grabbed the metal door that led to Angelica’s, flung it open, and threw himself inside.

“Hi, Angelica!” he said cheerfully, sparing just one quick second to inhale the aroma of her cooking that he had grown to love.

At the moment, she was washing the inside of a mug with a cloth rag. Upon hearing his voice, she looked up at him and her ears twitched; she appeared genuinely surprised to see him there. “Hi, Zach,” she said.

He waved. “Bye, Angelica.”

He turned right back around, opened the exit door, and then ran through it. As it closed, he heard her say, “Bye, Zach!”

Dashing down a brief flight of stairs, he slammed his way through the metal door labeled B2->B3 and then continued to run as he shivered from the intense cold of whatever planet this was. Once more, he was faced with the question of whether to stop for XP, and once again, he decided against it. The real XP to be had was on B6. Every single second he wasted here hunting scarecrows and pumpkins would actually not be worth the investment of time. B6 would be where he gained his levels—as well as hopefully his sword back. That floor was just one straight corridor filled with so many easy-to-kill things that gave so much xp. He was going to be drowning in xp. Everything until then was a distraction.

Just keep going. Ignore everything else!

Despite entering this floor with only 8 minutes on Unleashed Phase, Zach unbelievably managed to reach the exit with 7:31 remaining. He was also given +450xp for his trouble just by touching the door, which was basically nothing. He honestly couldn’t believe there had been a time where he thought that was a lot. It also meant that, back then, they actually could have continued to hunt the mobs and get the bonus. He didn’t realize that all you physically needed to do was touch the damn door and not necessarily go through it!

It was a shame he wouldn’t be staying long in this place, though—and by “long” he meant another second. It was so beautiful now that the sun was out. He wondered if it was only so cold because he was on top of a large mountain that gave off a view of a beautiful forest in the distance, where the same exotic birds as last time could be seen frolicking in the sky. One day, he needed to come back here and explore this planet. Not just this one tiny little dungeon floor, but all of it. Ah well, nothing to do but keep on moving. With a satisfied grunt, Zach pushed open the metal door and prepared to step inside. He was making incredible progress. Hopefully, he’d still have enough time left on Unleashed Phase to level up once or twice before he had to rest and—

“Help!” a woman’s voice screamed, as Zach placed one foot inside the metal door.

“Huh?” he said aloud. “Could’ve sworn I just heard someone scr—”

“Someone, please help me!” the voice cried again.

Confused and alarmed, Zach backed away from the metal door and turned around. The sound of the voice seemed to be coming from somewhere off to his left. Becoming curious, he decided to risk just a few seconds of time to see what in the name of the Gods he’d just heard, as it was possible another adventurer was also making her way through the dungeon and had bitten off more than she could chew, and if so, Zach obviously had to help her.

Heading back the way he came for about twenty feet, he realized that the source of the cry for help was coming from all the way across the pumpkin patch. His first time here, it had been night, and he hadn’t been able to see very far into the distance. Now, however, he could see that what he thought at the time was a near endless field of pumpkins was actually a lot smaller than he’d been led to believe under the darker lighting. It ended with an ordinary wooden fence, behind which was an immensely steep hill of the sort one could only slide, not walk down. And beyond that hill were many miles of grassy plains that, even farther into the distance, eventually seemed to lead into another forest. And something, Zach now saw…something was emerging from this forest. Multiple things, actually. Right now, emerging from the forest were a bunch of…

Zach’s breath caught in his throat, and it actually made him choke and gasp as a sight so out of this world came across his vision that it overloaded his ability to mentally react to it. What he spotted just then was so absurd it served to directly challenge his sanity. “Okay. Yeah, no,” he said with a shake of his head. “Not this time. No thank you. I’m out of here.”

There were some situations in life for which a real, genuine expenditure of time, thought, and effort was required in order to form a rational and reasonable assessment. Then there were other times when something was simple, obvious, or otherwise immediately apparent upon first glance. But this, however…this downright ludicrous, preposterous spectacle was neither of those two. This was an entirely new type of situation—at least to Zach, anyway. It was the kind of situation where the sight that greeted his only working eye was simultaneously far too confusing and baffling to understand, yet he still did not need more than a fraction of a fraction of a second to assess right away, without even so much as a moment to process the information, that he wanted nothing to do with it. Truly, all Zach really needed was a glimpse: a mere glimpse of what emerged from those trees, and that, all on its own was enough for him to know it was time to get the fuck out of here, because he was having none of this.

Since becoming an adventurer, he had seen a lot of strange shit. Oh, yes indeed he had. He’d encountered a dragon, he’d been toppled by forks that spat out exploding mucus, he’d adopted a talking cat, he’d cut a world leader’s hand off, he’d been to other planets, and he’d made friends with an NPC that lived outside the edge of the known universe and ran her own tavern and inn. So yeah. Zach had definitely now seen his fair share of inexplicably strange, bewildering things.

But this?

This shit was on a whole different level. Would anyone even believe him if he told them what he saw down that steep hill beyond the pumpkin patch? It was so simple to describe, yet so outrageously unbelievable. Even though Zach did not do drugs, he wondered if he was high. That was the extent to which this simply unreal scene boggled his mind.

Right now, what appeared to be a massive horde of level-18-to-24 decaying, lime-colored, shortsword-wielding zombies on roller-skates were working together with a gigantic, level-27 electric toothbrush the size of a statue, whose bristles shot off constant sparks of electricity, to chase after about fifty or maybe even sixty green- and white-cloaked Elves armed with bows and arrows—all while unicorns ridden by even more Elves flew across the sky, and with a level of violence Zach had not seen since Ziragoth, were both viciously killing and being killed by winged, level-25 skeleton horses mounted by level-22 mummies. Oh, right. And the woman who’d screamed earlier was actually a talking black Labrador retriever with a jetpack on its back. “Someone help! Please!” the dog cried with both words and barks as it flew up into the air and shot lasers out of its eyes, causing one of the winged skeleton horses to explode in a shower of bones. “We’re being overrun!”

Zach nodded as he watched the situation unfold. Then he laughed and wiggled his finger. “Not this time, universe. Nice try. Really, nice try. But not this time. There’s no way I’m getting involved in that shit.”

The spectacle before him was so crazy and so otherworldly that Zach could not even process an emotional response to it. He merely rolled his one eye and began to turn around to leave—and then he halted abruptly, dropped his jaw, and worried his heart might stop in his chest as for some Gods-damned reason he saw his very own Kalana of all beings in this world running for dear life away from a bunch of zombies that had just surrounded her.

How? Why? How is she even here?

To say that Zach had no clue whatsoever how, why, and what Kalana was doing down there would be putting it so mildly that the words would fail to capture even a fraction of a percent of the confusion he felt as he saw her fleeing for her life. Even from such a far distance, he could clearly make out her distinct features. She was the girl he loved above all, and he would recognize her from ten worlds away, let alone a cliff-like hill and a section of plains. Because of this, Zach did not actually care—at least not yet—what possible reason Kalana could have for being involved in what looked like a war between cartoon characters when she was supposedly off in Shadowfall Coast building up fortifications for when the dragon arrived.

The only thing—the only thing—that mattered was that his Kalana was in danger. And so, sparing not a second thought, he activated Boundless, followed immediately by Phase Rescue. He did not care that he had just spent 2:25 of his remaining time. He would Phase Reset himself to death if it was for her. Whatever it was she’d gotten herself involved in, he would figure it out later. For now, he merely watched with terror in his heart as roller-skating zombies came so Gods-damned close to decapitating her.

Luckily, the blue, shrinking orb took her away just in time, and now, Zach rushed forward to embrace her as she appeared before him. “Kal, thank the Gods you’re okay,” he said, wrapping his arm around her. “Why are you here? What in the name of the Gods do you think you’re doing getting involved in some crazy shit like that? I can’t believe you’d—”

“Get your hands off me, human!” Kalana screamed at him.

Zach wasn’t sure what she did to him. He had absolutely no idea how he was now on his back staring up at the sunny blue sky in this cold but beautiful world of purple pumpkins and roller-skating zombies. Presumably, she used some kind of martial arts shit on him. He didn’t know. He was too confused to really understand anything as Kalana lifted her foot, which he now saw was covered in a steel-plated boot, and sent it soaring down towards his neck.

“Kalana, what in the hell are you—”

“Did you just say Kalana?” Kalana asked, her foot stopping midair mere inches from stomping his face in.

“Yeah, of course I…” With only one working eye, Zach squinted. “Holy shit. You’re not Kalana!”

Now that she was closer to him, he could see that this woman was not his Kalana after all. She was older, maybe by about twenty years, but from a distance, the two were so similar looking that it was literally impossible to tell the difference. The resemblance was so extreme that he couldn’t possibly blame himself for mistaking the two of them.

“Kalana who?” the woman said to him.

“Kalana…who?” Zach repeated. “What is this, a fucking knock-knock joke? Lady, this was my bad. I’ll just—”

“Kalana who?” she thundered. “What…is her last name? The last name of the Kalana you mistook me for.”

“Ohh, right. Of course that’s what you meant,” Zach said with a chuckle. “I thought you were Kalana Vayra, my girlfriend. I’m sorry.”

All at once, the woman’s face brightened, and for a reason Zach couldn’t begin to understand—especially with all this other insane, lunatic shit happening around him—her eyes began to dampen, and soon after, she began to fully weep. “She’s okay?”

Zach narrowed his eye. “Wait, you know her?”

“Know her? She’s my daughter! I am Queen Fylwen Vayra, and my people and I have been hiding here on Archian Prime for the last decade, as I have taken to rebuilding our kingdom here while my husband and daughter take refuge on Galterra until we are strong enough that I can ensure their safety among us.” She extended her hand, and Zach took it. She lifted him up, and he nodded his thanks.

“Sounds like a lot of work,” Zach said with a smile, dusting off his tunic and pants. “Well, I’ll tell her you said hi. I don’t mean to be impatient, but I don’t have a lot of time to chat and—”

“You look capable. You must help me. Please!”

“Uh, help you?” Zach asked, as a sinking feeling of dread entered his stomach. He had a strong sense that this woman was about to say something he really didn’t want to hear.

She nodded. “The vampires have broken their treaty, and now they’re sending the forces of the undead to raid our villages.”

Zach groaned. “Ahhh, fuck. I knew it was going to be something like this. Listen, Miss Vayra, I have to be honest with you. There’s some really, really serious shit going on back on Galterra, and I need to get to B6 and—”

“Please,” she begged. “You say you are my daughter’s consort, yes?”

“I wouldn’t…I mean that’s not the term I’d use if I’m being honest, but—”

“Then help her mother. Please. You must.”

“You’re not going to give me much of a choice, are you?”

“I am sorry, but I’m afraid not.”

Zach swore, and he didn’t even care that a literal queen heard him do it. “Mother fucker how does this keep happening to me? How? Okay, fine. I’ll go fight zombies now. Because why not? This is some bullshit. How does the universe even allow me to be in another thing like this? There has to be some kind of upper limit to how fucked one person can be on a weekly basis! When do I get a pass? When?”

“I’m sorry, young man.”

“Yeah, whatever,” he said as he drew his blade. “At least they look like they’ll be worth xp.”