Everything was blurry when Yu opened her eyes. Or at least tried to. It felt like she was lifting a mountain. They were so heavy. Her whole body was too heavy to move. She didn’t think she’d ever been so tired in her life. Thankfully, despite not being able to see or move, she could hear.
“Well, that was certainly the most unique Releasing Ceremony I’ve ever seen or heard of,” a vaguely familiar voice said. “There’s nothing left of that area of the wilderness for thirty li in any direction except a crater.”
“It was necessary.” That voice she knew intimately.
“Her restriction was in place for how long exactly?” the first voice asked.
“Unknown. Her history is a bit complicated. But given what we just saw, I wouldn’t be surprised if she has had it all her life. I don’t see how else it could have been applied.”
“Are you saying the world itself put the barrier in place?”
“I don’t have a plausible alternative.”
“Incredible,” the voice whispered. She had figured out that it was Long Mingchen, the leader of the outer sect of the Black Dragon Sect and her master’s brother. “You know how far the echoes of that Release reached, yes? What it means?”
“It doesn’t matter anymore. She will be in the spirit realm soon and they won’t stop that from happening. It is too much of an opportunity.”
“And when she exits, what then?”
“When she exits,” her master said with obvious satisfaction, “She will be strong enough that they cannot force her. At least not without alienating her.”
“And they’ll want her too much to risk it. I see. With a Release like that… Indeed, suppressing her will be a challenge. And you’ve been building up her reputation using the sect, showing them her potential, all the while pressing her power against the restriction, haven’t you? You knew she was strong enough to cause that Release and that they would be able to sense it.” Then he let out a single laugh. “You planned it all out quite deeply, brother. How long have you been plotting for this day? Is that why you’ve been at the sect all this time? Was it all for her?”
“Like I would tell you.”
Mingchen hmphed. There was silence for a few breaths then.
What release? Who will want me to what? What are they talking about?
“How bad has she had it? I’ve seen some, but not all. And certainly not before she arrived.”
More silence followed, but it was short-lived. “Worse than you think. There have been those in the clan who have been through more, but not many. Almost none with a bloodline like hers. She has had a very difficult life.”
“And you made it worse, making sure she pushed against the barrier.”
“Yes, and she did. With little to no restraint. There were but a handful of times where she has not pushed her limits, and after moving past those moments, she pushed them even harder.”
“Remarkable.”
“She is everything I hoped for. And more in some ways. That bloodline…”
“We can only hope she survives the spirit realm.”
“She had better, or all this was for nothing.”
“The risks you’re taking… And the consequences?”
Her master did not answer. The silence lasted this time, so Yu figured it was time for her to try to open her eyes again.
She did try, but she failed. After a number of unsuccessful attempts, she became frustrated and tried instead to move something else – anything at all. But as soon as a finger muscle twitched, a bolt of pain shot through her entire body. All she could do was let out a moan, and even that hurt.
“Welcome to the family, Fenghuang Yu,” the vice sect master said. “You are officially a full member of the Long clan now.”
She tried to ask what they meant, but all that came out was another moan.
“Well, you rest. A trusted healer will be checking on you regularly. Make sure you follow his instructions, even if he is a bit of a grouch. With all that Qi running through them at once, I wouldn’t be surprised if your meridian channels were cracked. Just take the medication he gives you, rest, and recover. You need to be fully healed before showing yourself at the tournament, even if you are just a spectator. Can’t appear weak in front of the other sects and the Imperials, can we?”
Then she felt a hand pat hers and heard him get up, then his footsteps faded as he walked away. Yu desperately wanted to turn her head toward her master and give him a glare, but she couldn’t even twitch.
You owe me a few explanations, old man.
She heard a rather profound sigh. “I know you have questions and will try to provide the answers I believe you wish to have the most. However, you should prepare yourself. I will be using terms you’ve heard but don’t truly understand the meaning of, like ‘bloodline’ and ‘fate.’ I’ll also be mentioning the existence of other people or groups that will mean nothing to you at the moment – that will also not change. And, well, I will warn you that you will not like some, perhaps most of what I have to say. You will dislike it very much.”
That’s not ominous at all. But maybe it’ll be worth it? At least it’s an explanation. Like what in the hells happened!
Yu’s tried to flip back through her memory, like she always had, but instead of a clear vision of the exact events, she only saw flashes. The most coherent memories were of her master telling her to kill the wolves along with the fact that she was just so so angry at that woman for hurting Ai. After that, it is like separate still images of different times that came with some incredibly strong emotions.
She saw herself killing wolves using powers she knew she wasn’t strong enough to have. She used gravity a lot, she was confident of that, which made no sense at all since she was quite weak with it. She thought she found herself controlling time, which she had always struggled with mightily due to fact that the amount a Qi it required grew exponentially the longer one maintained it. Everything else was just void usage, which was the only not surprising thing, given it was what she was best at, spatially speaking. The only consistency across all the images, save the last, were the emotions that had raged through her.
Looking at it with hindsight, Yu understood why she had been so angry. She was very protective of Ai, and ever since she had figured out the gist of what happened to her from the images she had seen during the gentle girl’s bonding with her little fox, Yu had been determined to enact punishment on Ai’s behalf. Even with that though, it seemed to Yu that she had gone absolutely berserk, which was very much not in her character.
So that begs the same question I’ve been asking since I woke up. What in the hells happened?
“You are no doubt wondering what happened.”
You think?!
“I cannot ask you what you remember right now, so I will take the initiative. First, I concur with my brother; you must rest. You have internal injuries, including to your meridians and dantian, which the healer placed a block on. This means you temporarily cannot use Qi, and while this makes you vulnerable, you are vulnerable anyway right now, so the difference is moot.”
That sounds bad. But if I’m finally getting some answers, I’d do it again. If I could even remember how it happened…
Her master took in another breath and let it out. “Well, I will start with our Long clan, as everything in your life seems to start with them. Oh, by the way, you now have the right to change your name if you wish to. You can officially become Long Yu, if you so choose. I know you will refuse, but the offer stands.
That's… something. He’s right I’ll never do it, but being invited to not just join, but change my name to officially be publicly referenced as a Long is telling everyone that I am under their protection. It is quite the statement of trust and honor. Of course, the other side of that blade is that it also means I fall under their clan rules too. So… yeah, no thanks.
“I have told you in the past that our clan has had many hundreds of generations to perfect how to raise cultivators with the Spatial Affinity. The reason it is so important to be raised and taught in a specific, structured, and controlled process is because of something you mentioned to me once. It was an off-hand comment you likely don’t think important. But it is important.”
What’s he talking about?
“You said that you believed the Spatial Affinity seemed too powerful.”
Oh! I do recall that. It was after I visited the Long training crystal and met Elder Jiu for the first time.
“Well, you were correct. It is too powerful. So powerful, in fact, that most youths died trying to use it. Keep in mind, this is far back enough that we barely have records. Only our clan is neurotic enough to maintain original parchments that goes back an eon. Anyway, some of those records are incomplete or biased, but we understand the general message and content.
“As you know by now, the Spatial Affinity is power itself. It is a physical representation of the world’s rules. One of the primary things the clan discovered is that that power is simply too much for a young body to accept. For generations, dantians burst, merdians shattered, bodies gave out. It took many, many unfortunate deaths – to the point that the fledgling clan almost wiped itself out due to lack of living descendants – to make their first great discovery.
“Our ancestors figured out how to create a restriction, or a barrier, on our power. This allowed for the body and the child to mature and generally become both strong enough to withstand the affinity, as well as experienced enough to use it responsibly.”
So that’s what they meant with their discussion of my restriction before I woke up.
“In case you’re wondering, the barrier is not so much a physical thing. You can’t touch it with your fingers. It is a complex mix of spirit, Qi, and pure affinity energy, which is why it took generations to develop. Don’t think too much on it, the details are unimportant.
“Back on topic, the clan started putting this barrier in place in all of its youth when the affinity began to express itself. This usually happens prior to a first attempt at gathering Qi and lasts until the barrier is manually released by an elder. That means the average was usually around fourteen, with the earliest being around age ten. Of course, some small variances one way or another were expected and quite natural.”
And they think I’ve had mine for my whole life? How can that be?
“The ‘Release’ of the restriction is granted under two circumstances. First, the individual must have completed building their foundation, which gives the body sufficient strength to physically withstand the affinity. Second, the young cultivator must demonstrate a minimum level of expertise in their particular Spatial sub affinities. The clan elders are the ones who make the final determinations either way.”
Well, obviously that wasn’t a thing for me since I wasn’t in the clan. Not to mention that nobody even knew what my affinities were and that I had Spatial until after I was healed in the forest that day.
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“The removal of the restriction is called a ‘Releasing Ceremony.’ Now, much to my frustration, the clan tends to coddle its youth, especially those with the most potential. Rather than send them out into the world to grow or fail, they are kept safe, cloistered in the clan, and guarded when they do go out. Most large clans do this by the way, which is why everyone in this empire is such a pathetic weakling.”
Can you stay on topic please? Spatial? Barrier? Me?!
“Anyway, almost every clan Releasing Ceremony results in the youth feeling like a weight is lifted off their bodies and spirits. Sometimes there is a brief release of power, but it is small, and with elders there, contained. Following that are undeserved celebrations, gifts, and other nonsense.”
All his judgements aside, what in the nine hells happened to me then?
“However, every once in a long while, an individual has attempted to use their power more than their lessons prescribe. I am not speaking extra nightly practice when I say this. I mean repetitive, excessively heavy use of the affinity.
“I will give you a few examples. When one has a strong enough spatial connection to push through the barrier by constantly ripping voids in space to move a relatively far distance multiple times each day and night. Another example might be when one repetitively applies that affinity to use gravity while fighting against weighted shackles, which themselves also push the affinity, by the way. Another might be when one trains for days on end being pressed down upon by the gravity of someone strong enough to crush a mountain and they use their own affinity to press against it. Or when one takes replenishment pills to the point that the body starts rejecting them and shunting the extra Qi to, say, the barrier. Or…” and his voice softens, “when one is unable to use their God Sign for their entire youth, but presses and presses and presses, unknowingly attempting to use their affinity against the constraints of the world.”
He stops there for a moment, allowing Yu a chance to understand.
Oh… That’s just… I don’t… I didn’t… Wow.
“I’m sure you are a bit overwhelmed by this information, but I ask you allow me to go on because time is short before the healer comes and you will be sent back to a healing sleep. So, as I was saying, this barrier holds back the affinity. You can imagine in your mind that the barrier itself works like a dam. It slowly leaks a little water, or in this case Qi, through. Usually this leak is slow and measured, just enough to practice and become proficient. The barrier can occasionally be temporarily tweaked from the outside by those talented enough, but generally it simply sits there and acts like a normal dam, as I said.
“But, also like a dam, it can build up pressure if there is too much held back. Again, most clan youths don’t do this because they follow – are forced to follow – the clan’s strict training guidelines. Do not get me wrong, these guidelines work… if you are fine with adequate cultivators. There is nothing wrong with being good, I suppose. Mediocrity is acceptable in most places in our clan. In most clans in fact, especially the larger ones.
“Those average cultivators do their jobs, whatever they are, based on their talent, and live a good life under the protection of the strong. Just like an overwhelming majority of cultivators… and all mortals, which should be telling.”
Huh. That is actually an interesting comparison, cultivators similar to mortals. Mediocre indeed…
Yu pondered that for a few moments. Wondering what life would be like to be average. To be normal.
As always, her master seemed to be able to read her mind. “You could have lived that life. One of peace and tranquility. Maybe sit in a clan hall making spatial storage ring blanks or time-controlling formation circle all day. It would be extremely rewarding. Those jobs are rare and, with your power, you would have been raised to be extraordinarily good at them. Rich, celebrated in the clan, married, children… a peaceful life. A normal life.”
This time, he did not give her time to think.
“Allow me to tell you a story. A girl, an exceptionally gifted one with over a hundred accessible meridians, was born with an unusually strong connection to the Spatial Affinity. And what’s more, she was a Spiritualist. She wielded Ether. All very rare and very special.
“This girl’s mother had, more than a century prior, run away from a clan of Spatial specialists because its elders tried to force her into a marriage and all she wanted was to grow strong and fight. In the end they let her go because she was too weak in the affinity to bother with. However, the mother also knew the rules of clan, about the secrecy and of course she knew about the requirements of a barrier, having experienced one for herself.
“So, reluctantly, the mother, unable to place a barrier herself, reached out to her estranged relatives and told them about her newborn. They came and told the mother and father that the girl was too gifted and too much of a risk to stay in a small, weak, poor clan without the ability to protect her. The parents objected but could do nothing against the might of this old and powerful clan, so the baby girl was taken away.
“That child was welcomed into the clan with open arms, took the clan name, was raised in the way of the clan, became one the best of them at her field of enchanting, being decidedly above average in power. And she was married off as one of three wives, produced children with the affinity, and did not face any material strife in her life.”
Yu listened to this story. Imagined herself living that life. No troubles with her family, a normal upbringing, being respected and well-treated. No strife, no battles, no combat, no striving for excellence.
The temptation was there, certainly. But in the end… it wasn’t her.
That sounds… awful. And lonely. No Bai, no Ai – who’d be all alone in a world of darkness. No Li and Lu. No Lei and little Didi. No Zihao. And no Fan Ran and Nang Po and my other friends in the faction. Sure, I might be happy on occasion in that other life, and not being tormented as a child would have been great, but overall I can’t imagine myself enjoying such a… such a… unchallenging existence. How would I grow? How would I get strong enough to protect everyone I love from what’s to come?
Even in her current incapacitated state, she still felt the tingling from her forearm that came and went on its own whim, always reminding her of her responsibilities.
In that life, the corrupted, assuming they’re still coming, would kill me, my clan, my family. Everyone. Who could stop them? Not me in that life. No aeon stones, no spirit knife. No hope.
“I will not say fate changed your life, because it wasn’t fate. This is one of those times I mentioned. Things happened how they did for reasons we cannot discuss other than to say it was outside influence. But that truth does not change the reality that things are different in this life than they were in that story. Who you are, what you are, requires more than mediocrity. It requires more than being good, or even great. It requires you to become so much more.
“And this is the part where I warned that you will dislike what I have to say.” He let out another big breath.
“I created the scenario that would cause what you experienced at the palace and in that cavern. I will not say for how long, but I have been manipulating events so things have played out how they did. Again, there are details I will not get into, and throughout my entire plan, I continued to have to alter events, choices, and you, to adapt to outside interference. But after what you just went through, what I… what we accomplished, and barely in time, you’ve earned some answers.”
What are you talking about? In time for what? And it’s not like I don’t know you’ve been manipulating me, but what does the rest of that mean?
“I will not start from the very beginning, but from when you entered the sect. I placed Gui Ai by you at the Welcoming, and with a slight tweak to your restriction, I encouraged your foresight to leak, forcing you to gravitate to her. Not that you wouldn’t have necessarily empathized with her past, but I had to be sure you would fight for her.
“So I assigned you to a dorm room you would wish to escape from and assigned Bao Qing to hers. I knew his personality well and made sure to have the staff make public the gambling option for room changes as well as making a few addendums to the rulebook here and there, bringing your attention to certain options. Within each of those events, I made little pushes and pulls to your restriction, allowing your foresight to act.
“You got close to the girl and, as I needed, you became attached. So attached in fact, so intimately close, that when you found out what happened in her past, your emotions would be, not just strong, but overwhelming. You would drive yourself for her and for vengeance on her behalf. And again, you pushed against your restriction, building up more pressure.
“All the while, I forced you to grow strong through challenges. Your kidnapping – although I admit that was a bit of an addendum thanks to that outside influence I mentioned – along with all the arena challenges, the noble plotting and planning, even the pressure of taking so many classes. All of it was under my orchestration.
“Moreover, I needed you to change your personality to one that could survive in this violent world. So not only did I not stop the blatant abuse of arena challenges, I even helped find ones that would injure you, causing you to not just grow into a stronger warrior from the experiences, but also shift your narrow perspective to one more realistic for this world.
“In short, I pushed you, constantly tweaking your barrier, making sure to take advantage of your foresight so it caused actions that reflected the version of events I required. I needed you to push and push and push against that restriction on your Spatial Affinity, building up the pressure.
“What’s more, I needed, you needed, your bloodline to be strong. And this is also one of those times I am going to be evasive. It is too early for you to know certain things. All I will say is this: You recall those pills you have been taking which expanded your pathways? Well, they did more than that. They also simultaneously brought your bloodline forward. The power you took from them went into what gives your bloodline power, so I had them made particularly to empowered it further. In fact, I empowered your bloodline to the point it could not be any further strengthened prior to the next stage in your advancement.
“I know this bloodline discussion is all new to you, and I apologize for that. But you are smart enough to figure some of it out. Your Sign has some answers, and the rest you will discover in the spirit realm when you finally advance.
“Just know that the bloodline granted to you is above almost all others and I will admit that the strength of it was a surprise. So I used that strength, will use it, to make you more. And at the palace, I did that very thing, with the assistance of a particular item. I had this item created especially for today. It took years and more resources than you can imagine, but your Release proved it was worth it.
“I gave you that veil, a critical element of my plan which both removed your access to any other affinity and, just as importantly, relieved you of emotional inhibitions when triggered. So when that veil activated, your bloodline was loosed to drive your emotions beyond the commendably tight constraints you usually place on them.
“All of this together, your power, your bloodline, the barrier… it all culminated in the greatest Release our clan has seen in generations. The full might of your eighteen years of built-up power, frustration, abuse, anger, drive, determination, love, hate, trust, treachery, and, yes, the exposure of the betrayer of Gui Ai, someone you love dearly. All of it was released in a single moment. One moment of time in a cave where, long ago, a Qi well was discovered.
“There are different types, you see, this one was a very special kind that I found out about and then I removed any other who knew. More importantly, this Qi well was not just rare, but one of the rarest. In fact, I know of less than a hundred across all the continent.
“Unlike normal Qi wells which only produce stones, this kind also purifies Qi to the point of it being free from all contaminants. And I arranged events so a pack of Wind Wolves moved there. Moreover, I provided enough sustenance that, along with the well itself, one wolf was able to evolve into an alpha and take control.
“I placed you there, at that cavern filled with beasts who would challenge any who approached. Those challenges to your bloodline’s might and authority pushed it forward fully, too early, but also only for a short time. Your bloodline raged at those lessers who believed they could challenge it. And finally, at the end, in that one moment where that alpha Wind Wolf, that pure evolved powerful wolf, confronted you, your bloodline fully took over, infuriated by the challenge of an inferior, as I knew it would.
“It burst forth from you all at once and your body emptied of everything that was holding it back. Every impurity and imbalance that could be a weakness in your physical form dissolved into the Qi well to be purified, so all that was left in you was emptiness and your hollowed out affinity.
“And into that emptiness of your dantian, I planted something. A seed of power. A miniscule twist of gravity that created a hole in space and time which pulled everything inward… toward you and into your dantian, creating the kernel of a core. As a result, your new core, your dantian, your meridians, every minute part of your body, your very being was filled with the power of the Heavens and the Earth in its cleanest, purest form. Nothing remained but space and time, except you and your newly untainted power. And what you and I have created from that confluence of events is the most perfect vessel for the Spatial Affinity of this age!”
He finally stopped his telling then, panting deep breaths from his powerful passion and manic excitement. His entire story had been building to that moment, and his pronouncement felt like a culmination of not just his voice, but of her life.
That was… He did everything for… He…
Yu scrambled for a coherent thought. She felt disbelief and wonder. Surprise and fury. Doubt and betrayal. But beneath it all was a layer of despair that made her heart hurt.
So much of her life, Yu had spent not being in control. It was her biggest fear, caused her the most frustration and anger and sadness, and every other emotion. One of the things that drove her was the need to get stronger so she could control her life. And yet here was this man, her master, basically orchestrating everything.
She felt a tear slide from the corner of her eye down the side of her face as an even worse realization struck her.
Any control I thought I’d built was an illusion. All that effort was for nothing! It was all for nothing…
“I will understand if you feel antagonism towards me. If you blame me or hate me. I accept it. I knew you would when this all started. I only ask that you recognize that I did what I did for a good reason. The strings you pluck have a wider effect than you know, and because of that, it was critical that this happened before you went into the spirit realm.
“Every time I say that you must get stronger, you ask why. I cannot share further details yet, but I hope you believe that everything I have done, everything I do, has been and will be with that goal in mind. You must. Be. Stronger.”
Yu heard him let out a big breath and then the creak of his seat as he stood.
“And with that, your healer is just outside. I will leave you to his capable hands and your thoughts. We will speak again, but not right away. You need time and, finally, I can give it to you. You have earned it.”
Yu heard the man leave, her mind a jumbled mess. She barely listened as the healer entered. She knew tears were streaming down the sides of her face as talked to her, gave her instructions. She did not care. It was all background noise to the cacophony of the echoes of her master’s voice. It hammered home one single reality.
I’ve never been free in this life. And maybe I never will be.