Bill Ruggles: All right, everyone, I'm here with Jag for a wrap-up of this season of the Immortal Tournament. What did you think Jag?
Jag Roneo: Well, Bill, it was way better than I expected. When they trotted out that drifter from the sticks, I thought he was a goner, but he just kept sticking around. There were a lot of other great characters this season, but nobody got as popular as the drifter.
Bill Ruggles: Yeah, Jag, I've got nothing against humans—some of my best friends are humans—but that drifter looked weird to me. I couldn't root for him.
Jag Roneo: I’m glad you said it because we’ve all been thinking it. Why is he so tall, and where is all his hair? He’s got a mop on top and nothing else except for a little bit of peach fuzz on his face.
Bill Ruggles: Okay, Jag, that may have gone a little far, but he does look unnatural.
Jag Roneo: Well, unnatural is the least of it. But even with his weirdo look, he has found his way into the hearts of many in the galaxy.
Bill Ruggles: Well, you said it, Jag. He really has. Let’s talk about how he did it.
Jag Roneo: Well, from the beginning, he was an underdog, and he just kept winning, often in a brutal fashion that a lot of fans just ate up. Then they really threw us all for a loop when they went to the battle royale style near the end.
Bill Ruggles: Oh yeah, they did, Jag. They really did.
Jag Roneo: I know the ratings were great all season, but I didn’t like the switch-up. I don't know why they have to resort to tricks like that; stick with the action.
Bill Ruggles: Oh, come on, Jag. Why do you have to be so old-fashioned? Are you sure you aren't salty because of what happened to the Blood Orc near the end?
Jag Roneo: How dare you say that! I’m a Blood Orc, sure, but my integrity is beyond question.
Bill Ruggles: OK, OK, calm down. Come on, come on.
Jag Roneo: Since you brought it up, the drifter should’ve died to the Blood Orc, and then we all know Aspirant would have been next. What happened instead was despicable.
Bill Ruggles: Oh, come on. Despicable, don’t you think you are being a bit hyperbolic?
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Jag Roneo: Don’t use big words. I don’t know what that means, but I think you mean I’m exaggerating, and heck no, I’m not. I had to watch one of my brothers out there get teamed up on by a couple of lowlifes. It really boils my blood. And I'm a Blood Orc; to us, that means something.
Bill Ruggles: OK, OK, we should move on. We don’t want to offend anyone out in the galaxy. Don't want to get calls all night and have to put out an apology!
Jag Roneo: Yeah, we know how the mud elves like to complain—excuse me, the Vollan. I know, I know, I’ll move on.
Bill Ruggles: Do you know, Jag, you called him an underdog earlier, and he really was. But for me, the moment when I first thought he might have a shot was when he made it past the quest line.
Jag Roneo: Yeah, he got more serious after that. Also, Bill, I can’t believe they actually put a drake in a quest line at the tournament. Where did they find a damn Drake Patriarch? I thought they were extinct???
Bill Ruggles: Oh, come on, Jag. Use your head. You didn't actually think they were extinct? Surely rare, but not extinct. You Blood Orcs need to look past the gym and the arena, if you ask me.
Jag Roneo: Well, maybe they just should be extinct, then. I mean, they did wage war against the whole universe. We’re lucky we won, or we’d all be drakelings by now. Now that’s it! That’s what he looks like! He looks like a hairless drakeling!
Bill Ruggles: Come on, Jag. You know they’re called Wyrmbloods; you know that. I shouldn't have to remind you. Why are you always making me have to be the grownup? I hate having to be the grown-up.
Jag Roneo: I'm sorry, Bill. I just think those vermin are gross, is all. Having an infestation on my world is my worst nightmare, like my literal worst.
Bill Ruggles: All right! All right, he does kind of look like one.
Jag Roneo: Bill, that would explain why he wanted an egg!
Bill Ruggles: You know, you are making some sense, Jag.
Jag Roneo: Bill, I can't believe they let him take one of those eggs at the end. I thought for sure he’d wind up dead later or something because he has an egg. But nope, he wins the goddamn tournament. And now he’s off to the edge of the galaxy to a doomed warzone with a goddamn egg.
Bill Ruggles: You know the worst part, Jag? We won't get to see any of it.
Jag Roneo: I know, Bill. We will miss the whole thing. Doesn’t he know how dangerous that egg is, by the way?
Bill Ruggles: It's a shame, Jag, but those are the rules. It’s an active invasion. We won’t see anything until it’s over.
Jag Roneo: I'm just saying. He better be careful; if that thing hatches, he could start a drakeling invasion in the middle of nowhere.
Bill Ruggles: Jag, I’m pretty sure that’s not how those invasions start. Speaking of which, how surprised were you that he didn’t take up the Iron Princess on her subtle offer to join her faction?
Jag Roneo: I’m not surprised at all. First of all, he’s an idiot, and second of all, I’m not so sure she even offered. My sources tell me that she was just playing it up because of his popularity.
Bill Ruggles: Well, well, well, Jag, you always bring the goods, don’t you? And with that, we’re out of time. I want to thank the galaxy for watching the Immortal Tournament. Remember, you can find Jag and me every five years at the Immortal Tournament, or you can check us out at any of the galaxy's great regional tournaments.