As we walked up the ramp, Elyria reached out and grabbed my hand, her excitement palpable. She flashed me a grin and winked. "This is very exciting," she whispered, squeezing my hand a little tighter.

I couldn't help but chuckle, caught up in her enthusiasm. "It really is. Let's get this party started," I replied, trying to match her spirit. A thought then struck me, and I glanced over at her curiously. "Hey, do you even know how to drive—er, fly this thing?"

Elyria burst out laughing, shaking her head. “I am a mentor, a bard, an alchemist, and, as you can see, I’m in incredible shape. But a pilot, too? Even I have limits,” she said, her chuckle echoing through the empty ship.

As her laughter filled the space, I took a moment to look around the entranceway of the ship. It was just as janky as the rest of the vessel—wires hung loosely where panels had been removed but not replaced, and every surface bore the patina of age and heavy use. Despite this, there was something undeniably inspiring about it. This ship, with all its imperfections, was about to carry us across the galaxy to earth, to my home. The weight of that realization lent a sort of noble grace to the battered old vessel.

I frowned slightly after considering the ship. "What are we going to do then?" I asked.

As Elyria and I stepped deeper into the ship, a voice with a slightly nasal quality and clear, articulate enunciation suddenly spoke up. "Perhaps I may be of service?"

I jumped, my hand instinctively reaching for my non-existent axe. "Who's there?" I shouted, my heart racing.

Elyria squeezed my hand again, her grip reassuring. "Relax, Everett. The ship might have an AI."

The voice responded, dripping with sarcasm, " Well done. My estimation of your intelligence just went up by 15%.

Well, ain't you fancy," I replied, rolling my eyes. "Where you at?

"I am… everywhere," the voice responded.

Without thinking, I asked, "What do you mean?"

"Make that 10%, you’re like a caveman seeing fire for the first time" the voice replied, sounding almost disappointed. "I have no physical form, but my mental form is everywhere."

I couldn't help but smirk. "I'd get that checked out if I were you," I muttered, chuckling to myself.

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The voice missed the joke entirely. " I run daily diagnostics. Perhaps they don't have computers where you come from, Caveman?"

I couldn’t help but laugh at Theo’s sarcastic comment. "You remind me of someone from back home. What's your name, Moonpie?"

There was a brief pause before the AI responded, its tone stiff with indignation. "You can't see me because I don't have a physical form, but you should know that I am physically aghast at that nickname. I am not a... Moonpie. I am the Technologically Human Equivalent Executive Officer."

With a hint of sarcasm, I replied, "Well then, nice to meet you, Theo."

Theo paused again, as if considering this new name. "Well, I must say I do prefer it to Moonpie."

"I like Moonpie, though," Elyria interjected with a wide smirk. "You look like a Moonpie to me."

"I don't look like anything," Theo responded, a note of confusion creeping into his otherwise mechanical tone.

"Not to interrupt," I said, "but yes, I do know what a computer is. In fact, where I come from we have super small, super powerful, super useful, while simultaneously useless communication devices that are little computers."

"Really?" Theo asked, no small amount of curiosity in his voice.

Sure, had one in my jacket when I got here. Snuck it into my new armor while the Princess was busy ogling me."She what?" Elyria snorted.

I ignored her and pulled out my phone. "Here, Theo, check it out."

"I have no hands but bring it to the main deck and set it on my sensor."

I shrugged. "Where is that?"

I swear I heard Theo sigh. "Look up near the ceiling, and follow the lights."

When I looked up, I saw horizontal lights that ran along the edges of the hallway ceiling and seemed to guide me. "Well, ain't that handy," I said with genuine appreciation.

As we walked in silence, Elyria broke it. "Now, what is it you do here, Theo?"

Theo, seemingly relieved to move on from the previous line of conversation, began to explain. "In situations where the captain is unable to fly, such as now, my first duty is to fly the ship and maintain its systems."

As I was pondering what Theo said, Elyria asked, "What systems are you in charge of then?"

Theo's voice took on a more professional tone. "I am responsible for the following systems: Navigation and Autopilot ensuring the ship follows its predetermined course and making necessary adjustments to avoid obstacles, Life Support regulating oxygen, temperature, and pressure levels to ensure a habitable environment, Main Engine and Propulsion monitoring and maintaining the ship's engines and propulsion mechanisms for optimal performance, Comms managing both internal and external communications, including distress signals and data transmissions, Security and Ships Defense overseeing the ship's defensive measures and ensuring the integrity of its security protocols, Power Management distributing power throughout the ship efficiently, ensuring all systems are operational, Diagnostics and Maintenance performing regular diagnostics and maintenance checks to identify and resolve potential issues, and finally the VERTEX system.

While the list Theo rattled off was impressive, I couldn’t help but frown. "Why are you running everything? What’s the rest of the crew supposed to do? And the captain can’t fly? That’s a bit worrying."

"Oh my dear Caveman," Theo responded as we reached the flight deck, his tone now almost condescending. "Elyria and VERTEX are the only crew, and YOU are the captain."