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Chapter 46: Stagnation

Awakening was like surfacing from the deep end of a pool, my lungs burning for air. But it wasn't just the physical strain that gripped me. As consciousness seeped back, a torrent of emotions overwhelmed me. Tears streamed down my face, unbidden and uncontrollable. I lay there, sobbing, the pain from the mental ordeal mixing with a deep, inconsolable sorrow.

The images from the bridge haunted me – my girlfriend's face, the fears, and losses of my past. They surged through my mind, vivid and painful, leaving me gasping for breath between sobs. I felt a profound sense of loss, a heartache so intense it was as if I was reliving every painful moment all at once. The anguish was visceral, wrapping around my heart like a vice.

I tried to stifle the sobs, to compose myself, but the emotions were too raw, too powerful. I moaned, a sound of sheer despair, as I curled up, clutching at the bedsheet. The weight of my grief was crushing, a burden I couldn't seem to shed. I was alone, utterly alone, in a world that felt both alien and hostile. The isolation of this strange place, compounded by the absence of those I loved, hit me like a physical blow.

The emotional storm raged on, and I struggled to find my bearings. Every breath was a battle, every moment an eternity of pain. The memories on the bridge had unlocked something within me, a floodgate of emotions I had kept at bay. Now, they poured out unchecked, a deluge of grief, fear, and longing.

Slowly, the sobs began to subside, giving way to a heavy, exhausted calm. I lay there, spent and hollow, my eyes red and swollen from crying. The compass tattoo on my chest, now set to 'rainfall regeneration', worked its subtle magic, soothing my aching body. But the healing it offered couldn't reach the wounds inside, the scars of loss and pain that lay deep in my soul. My gaze drifted to the drake egg, resting silently beside me. Something was different. The egg, usually so still and enigmatic, seemed different... troubled. Is that possible, I don’t know how it could convey emotion, but it did in that moment. I reached out, hesitantly at first, to touch its smooth surface. The moment my fingers brushed against it, a jolt of recognition shot through me. The egg was warm, warmer than usual, its surface vibrating with a faint but unmistakable energy. It was as if the egg had absorbed the echoes of my emotional turmoil, resonating with the intensity of my recent journey.

A thought struck me, sudden and unbidden. Could the egg have been with me, in some intangible way, as I traversed the bridge in my mind? The idea seemed ridiculous, I might have known if I was not alone in my mind. Yet something about it felt right. I was new to my mental exploration, I could easily have missed something. The connection between us, always a comfort, now took on a new dimension, suggesting a shared experience, a companionship in the depths of my subconscious.

I sat there, contemplating the egg with a mix of wonder and concern. The possibility that it had been affected by my ordeal, that it had somehow shared in my pain and confusion, was both astonishing and disconcerting. The egg was more than just an object; it was a companion, perhaps even an empathetic one.

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The realization brought a new sense of responsibility towards the egg. It wasn't just an item in my inventory; it was a living, feeling entity. This new knowledge deepened the bond I felt with the egg, infusing our connection with a sense of shared fate and mutual understanding.

As my physical discomfort further ebbed away, I lay there, trying to piece together my fragmented thoughts. The bridge in my meditation – what did it signify? If I searched for the egg in my subconscious, would I find it? Would it help me? Why had the bridge evoked such intense emotions? And what lay beyond it? Why wasn’t I feeling these emotions in the ‘real’ world. These questions and more swirled in my mine.

As the quiet of the barracks enveloped me, a nagging thought resurfaced, one I had been pushing to the back of my mind amidst the chaos of recent events. It was about my progress in this strange world, or rather, the lack thereof. I was still at Level 10, the same as when I had first arrived, despite the numerous battles and challenges I had faced.

To distract myself I opened my stats screen, the familiar holographic display materializing in front of me. The number '10' glared back, unchanging, I had been thinking about this recently, why wasn’t it moving? I made a mental list of recent encounters and fights – each one should have earned me experience, should have propelled me forward. Yet, here I was, seemingly stuck.

Why hadn't I leveled up? The question echoed in my mind, each repetition fueling a growing sense of unease. In a world governed by rules and progress, this stagnation felt like a glaring anomaly. Had I missed something crucial? Was there a hidden condition I had failed to meet, or a deeper mechanism at play that I had yet to understand? Why hadn’t I thought to bring up my leveling stagnation to the Iron Princess, Octaviok? I was too concentrated on my other problems is why.

The more I pondered, the more the issue gnawed at me. My encounters had been varied and challenging. Each had tested my skills, pushed me to my limits. And yet, there was no numerical acknowledgment of my growth, no tangible reward for my struggles and triumphs.

Was it a flaw in the system, or was it something about me, specifically? Neither seemed particularly likely. The thought was unsettling. The idea of being trapped at this level, unable to evolve and adapt, was a daunting prospect, especially with further battles in the arena looming on the horizon.

Shaking my head, I closed the stats screen, the numbers fading away into the darkness of the barracks. This mystery of my stagnant level was yet another mystery of the many I had faced since arriving here. For now, it remained unsolved, a lingering question mark at the back of my mind. But I resolved to keep an eye on it, to seek out answers amidst the trials ahead.

For the time being, my focus had to remain on the immediate challenge – the arena. Whether I was level 10 or level 100, I needed to be prepared, to harness all my skills and instincts for what was to come. The answers would come in time, I was sure of it. For now, the fight ahead demanded all my attention.

I realized then that this journey, this battle within, was about more than just confronting fears or unearthing hidden truths. It was about coming to terms with my past, with the losses that had shaped me. It was about facing the pain head-on, not as a barrier, but as a path to understanding and, perhaps, healing. Maybe there was something there, some key to crossing the bridge.

With a deep, steadying breath, I rose from the bed. The tournament awaited, a battle of strength and skill. I stepped out of the barrack. The bridge in my mind, with all its pain and mystery, wouldn't remain unexplored for long. But first I needed to survive another round in the arena, and I was determined to face whatever lay ahead, to embrace the journey, no matter where it led.