Whistling away on my favorite tune

Singing a song a weird bard taught me

Tralilaalilaaa

Shooliloolilooo!

And then at the solo, we go with a high-pitched scream.

“AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA-“

“Aow, don’t kick me, it hurts”

Hehe, at least I know I can annoy them.

I can get some sort of enjoyment out of it.

And, what makes it better, is that even after singing for hours 

They are not escalating the pain levels.

It’s as if I’m some sort of

High level hostage, or prisoner, or something.

Hihihi, kind of fun to think about.

Especially when you think of the alternatives

...

I mean.

Don’t think about it.

But I have to say

“Guys. This is very boring. ”

No response.

“Can you at least like, talk or something?”

Yet again. No response.

“I mean, you don’t even talk amongst yourself. It’s like your all deaf or something”

Someone justled me, might have just been my imagination tho, because I got no response.

“Are you guys stupid?”

Aow

Okay, that kick probably means no.

Stupid guys that captured me.

Or are they girls?

Are they like, amazons or something?

Oooooh, that would explain a lot, and that would be soooo cool!

Maybe they are taking me to assimilate me to their culture?

Be a part of an amazing tribe of woman

All strong and beautiful

All fighting for the good of woman-kind

And they are just doing this to surprise me

Hehe, wow!

Girls, I would cry tears of joy right now if I wasn’t blindfolded.

This means so much to me.

But I’m sorry, I can’t accept your hospitality

I’ve already promised myself to someone else

Someone especially beautiful, and strong

I have given myself away to him...

…

Euw

That sounds kinda weird

I mean like, I promised him an adventure.

Yeah.

Don’t make it sound weird.

Stupid.

Oh, they stopped.

And it smells kinda bad

It smells like, wet dogs with a mixture of...

Pee?

No, not pee, but something similar.

Why would they take me to their dog kennel?

Ooof

Aow, they dropped me

Why can’t they be more nice to me?

At least they stopped, and finaly something is happening

Ah, my eyes!

The sun is so bright!

I can’t see

I’ve gone blind!

I’m never gon-

Oh I can see...

What is this?

Are those. Big rats?

What the heck.

Am I gonna get eaten?

Crap...

They are all looking at me, and I’m still stuck in my bindings.

They are all so ugly

“Wow, you guys are ugly. ”

Aow.. okay. I kinda deserve that kick

And they are pretty numerous, I have to say.

Maybe like, twenty? twenty five? Kinda hard to see them all when they bunch up like that.

Even if I’m almost an entire head above them all.

Looking around, it seems like we are still in the forest 

But erm,

It feels more like we are in a village.

The few houses I can see look human in design, so these guys maybe killed the original homeowners?

That sounds bad, maybe they just copied?

Yeah

They only copied the design.

Sound much better!

Oh, something's happening. The rat guys are moving aside.

And out comes..

A new rat guy, but this guy is like, dressed in a dress.

This narrative has been purloined without the author's approval. Report any appearances on Amazon.

So a rat girl?

Maybe, I don't know, they all kinda look the same to me.

Is that racist?

The only thing differentiating them is their weird ass clothing.

I would call it tribal, yet refined somehow. Blending the fabrics and colours into a fine mesh.

And the rat with the dress had the finest tribal clothing.

“Hello Human, You may wonder why we have taken you.”

The rat girl is speaking! And she sounds very guttural and nasally. Like she’s gurgling stones in her mouth.

“Er, yeah”

“But before we answer your questions, we need answers first. How did you find our territory?”

Find? You guys found me!

“You guys found me!”

“No, you stumbled upon one of our sentries, they just hid before you or the phoenix could incinerate them”

The phoenix? I don't understand…

Oh, they mean mister dragon.

“Oh you mean him, yeah he’s my friend!”

After saying that, most of the rat people surrounding us took a step back.

The rat woman in front freezing in place, moving her hands down to the sheath by her waist side.

Oh, I think I said something weird there.

Glancing around, I noticed the rat woman leaning back, speaking a few words with one of the rat men close by.

Shifting her sight from me to him.

Then, after exchaning some words, she cleared her throat and looked down at the ground.

“Human, we.. We, mean no harm, I-we, of the tribe just, wanted to assure that you where not a... Threat to our survival... Yo-you won't cause us harm?”

She sounded a lot less sure of herself, when before she seemed to hold authority.

Are they scared of mister dragon?

He’s harmless

Well, unless you try attacking him, of course.

“Haha Sure! I actually did not know you lived here so erm. Sorry for intruding, I was actually on an adventure towards the elf kingdom!”

Many looks were shared by the rat people.

The rat woman in front seemingly confused.

“But, ehm, human. I am not here to question you nor your journey but. The elf kingdom is an ocean and continent away, the journey on foot could take months, if not years.”

...

“What?”

“I-I MEAN NO DISRESPECT!”

Then she fell on her back, showing her stomach to me.

What is she doing?

Is this like...

What

…

Anyway, that stupid dragon

Not telling me how far we would have to travel

If I had known it would take that long I would have picked something closer.

Like, the dwarf kingdom. Or something

Stupid dragon...

He’s so stupid.

Anyway where was I?

Oh yes.

“Erm, no disrespect, taken? Dont worry about it”

When the rat woman heard me, she swiftly jumped to her feet, giving a light sigh as she brushed off some dirt from her back.

“Human, I must say, we of the tribe, want to express our sincerest apology. I have heard that some of our, people, has treated you badly, so in recompense you may do with them as you please.”

“And please, join us for the festivities.”

“Eeer, sure? I guess, why not”

With a loud screech, the rat woman turned around and made some hand movements.

The rats surrounding me started running about, in some sort of, organized chaos.

One rat moved up to me, shaking lightly as he brought out a knife.

Gulping down some saliva, I stared him down

Then he cut my ropes and ran away.

Huh

Thanks!

But I got to say. It feels like they fear me?

Am I really that awesome?

Hehe, I guess I am.

And I kinda guess, I’m going to join some, rat people festival? maybe a party?

I don't know

Don't think about it too much

It’ll be fun.

No time like the present!

Standing up, I see that the rat woman is still standing, awkwardly, in place. Staring at me with big beady eyes.

Of course, I have no idea what she’s feeling. 

I never had a pet rat so I don't know what that expression means.

But she looks kinda cute,

If you ignore how ugly she looks otherwise.

“When will the, er, party? Be ready.”

“Oh, that, it will have to wait for tonight. Until then, i’v been bestowed the great honor of showing you our great tribe. If you have any questions, feel free to ask me.”

“Hmmm, then I have one question. Why are you doing this for me?”

“Oh eh-he, erm... Yo-you”

Then she quickly turned away to scream at some distant rat, speaking that weird rat language I’ve never heard.

Then, four rat men came up to me, visibly shaking in their boots, stripped down naked.

And as they came up to me they all fell back on their backs and tried to lay still, failing miserably, shaking horribly.

“I have brought those that dared kidnap you, dear human. I also heard that they used some, improper means of attacking you. I’m deeply sorry. You may do as you wish with them.”

Uuuuuh

What

Oh yeah, she said something about me getting some revenge

Hehe

Yes

My revenge!

I’m so going to kick them in the balls

And after four, very satisfying kicks, with four equally satisfying screeches later

I stood back in front of the rat woman.

“Ehm, human? Why did you kick them?”

“What? They kicked me, an eye for an eye as they say. But I gotta say, thank you for letting me kick them like that. I’ve been building up some real frustration out there in the woods”

The rat woman looked down on the four, still reeling from the pain in their scrotums. 

The rat woman going deep into thought.

“So what are you showing me? I so want to see where you guys poop.”

Shaking herself from thoughts, the rat woman looked up at me.

“Our, poop?”

“Yeah, I’ve heard that any good civilisation knows how to handle their poop. So if you guys have a good system for poop, I’m totally giving you guys a thumbs up!”

“I-I see. Well then, this way human.”

Walking down the street, I got to say, this place looks pretty primitive,

Every house is very big and rounded, with wooden walls and wines or something for their roofs.

Now that I’ve gotten closer, it has the shape of a human house, yet bigger, too big for humans.

And most of the rat people we passed were equipped with wooden tools.

And the more erm, wealthy? Seems to have rock tools.

Those that stood around me when I was captured, seemed to have rock spears.

But I did catch a glimt of shining iron.

For example, the rat woman who’s guiding me seems like she has an iron sword in her sheath.

Maybe it's a status symbol?

Am I getting guided by the chieftain?

That would be soooo cool!

No wait. She said something about someone telling her to guide me.

So, I guess she’s second in command?

Maybe?

Eeh, I don't really care.

Anyway, there are a lot of rat people. And I mean a lot.

Everywhere I look there are rat men.

Most seem to be interested in me, all glancing as they passed. Some even following in an bad attempt to sneak behind.

I can even see some tiny rat people

They must be kids

I have to say hi!

Turning to the right, I headed straight for the group of kids

Walking towards them, they quickly noticed me, freezing on the spot, looking up to me as if staring down death itself.

“HEELLLOOO! AAH, YOUR ALL SOO CUUUUTE!”

The rat woman ran quickly up to my side, eyes opening wide in shock. Or I think they did

I can’t really tell.

Then she looked uncertainly towards me, then the children

“Hey, translate for me!”

Looking to me, the rat woman nodded

“Hey kids, you. Are. All. So. CUTE!”

A weird look from the rat woman, then she said something in their weird language,

And the kids started moving, looking up at me.

Then one started talking, then another

The rat woman tried to desperately translate their words, but it got very hard as all the children tried to talk at the same time.

The gist of what I got from the rough translation

Is that I’m hideous and I smell bad.

...

Stupid kids,

“No, you guys smell... and you are stupid!”

Without even needing to translate, the kids seemed to understand what I said,

Or at least the meaning

As the kids started talking over one another again

Some even moved up to me and started hitting me.

Not hard, mind you. They were only the size of my foot, so I did not really feel anything.

But when maybe, hundreds? Of kids started hitting you, you kinda feel bad.

Especially when the rat woman beside you stops translating, looking kinda shocked, hands over her mouth.

I think she looked shocked? Maybe she was laughing?

Wait…

I think

Maybe.

That those kids are swearing.

...

That is why I hate kids. Why did I think kids of rat people would be better.

“Stupid kids, is this a declaration of war? DO YOU WANNA SEE THE POWER OF HUMANS!”

The rat woman jumped back, staring with her big beady eyes at the big mass of rat kids jumping at the human.

The kids seemed to understand the meaning behind my words, as they escalated their aggression and started getting more fierce in their battle.

I, in return, started grabbing the rat kids.

Throwing them up in the air and grabbing them as they fell, poking them and staring, hoping that they understood that it meant death.

Which they luckily understood, as those I had poked seemed to lie down on their backs and stay still.

When the rat kids noticed that their tactics would not work, the number of kids quickly dwindling,

They started doing hit and runs.

Running back and then jumping forwards in an attempt to topple me backwards.

Hehe, stupid kids, as if that would ever work on me!

Mohahaha

Aow

Oh, they climbed the nearby building.

AND THEY ARE GRABBING MY HAIR

NOW YOU KIDS HAVE DONE IT

Letting out a truly freighting war cry, I started poking even more furiously,

Rat kids falling left and right

The might of humans shall defeat all odds!

But as the battle continued, even more kids joined the fray.

It was like poking a beehive, they were endless

And eventually 

I fell.

They used my height against me as they bunched up behind me in a small ball meant to trip me.

At the same time, jumping at my face, making me step back and fall as I stepped on their little trap.

And as I fell back on the ground, cushioned by the little kids bodies. 

I started laughing.

Which turned out, was pretty hard with hundreds of small rats on top of me.

And while I tried to laugh, the rat kids started doing a little dance over my body. Doing some sort of weird critter sound that I can only assume was laughter as well.

A few minutes passed, and soon the kids jump away, some stubbornly clinging on, but mostly because they seem to find it fun to hang on me.

Standing up, I’m greeted with a very weird view.

All around us were adult rat people, spears in hand and all pointing at the rat kids close by.

The rat woman standing in the middle, looking like she’s in charge as she's rounding up the kids.

“Erm, what’s happening?”

“Human! Please don’t declare war! I promise that these kids meant no harm, they just... Wanted to play, their primitive minds far outweighs their tactical thinking. Please I beg of you”

...

Oh yeah, I did say that,

“But.. I just said that as a joke.”

...

“What? but... you, killed those kids”

As she said that, she pointed at the big pile of kids near the building, which in turn, started to move as they noticed all the attention they got.

...

“Oh, ehm, human? Is this, human way of, playing with kids?”

“Errrr, not really. I guess it's a, me way of playing. Hehehe”

“Okay, I think I understand”

The rat woman said, turning towards the surrounding rat men, barking out something in their weird language.

Then, most started to scatter, glancing towards me while some still pointed their spears.

Maybe I should not play with kids of a foreign culture as the first thing I do.

I’ll write it down for next time.

But it was kinda fun.

I cleared my throat and pointed at the rat lady, gaining back her attention.

“Now! Towards the poop hole!”

And for the first time during our small time togheter.

I understood the rat woman's expression.

As she shook her head in disbelief.