This has been an amusing day.
It is not every day that I see humans.
A, human.
Getting chased by chickens.
Hehehe
Stupid human
Such a lowly creature
Running for your life from such a
Basic creatures.
I thought more highly of you
But I guess you are only on the level of chickens.
Okay, I can not be too harsh.
That human managed to blow up four chickens before going down.
She crawled for a minute before drinking some red potion.
And now her legs are glowing.
Now it looks like she fainted
Maybe she died?
Humans. So weak.
Well, if this is how it ends, I have to say it was something new
Not often that happens.
Should I wait or should I go?
Hmmmmm.
Eh
I can wait.
What is waiting for a few days?
I got nothing better to do.
...
But
I have to say
There is an alarming amount of chickens in these woods.
I thought humans hunted them to extinction.
Peh.
Humans
Can not even kill things properly.
I can at least understand why they tried
Even though these chickens are gazing at my mighty form
None seems to be bothered by my presence.
Some are even trying to peck at my glorious legs
Which is out of the question.
How dare these mere mortals face me?
I, of course, squish them into oblivion.
I can not allow such filth to touch me.
They are even closing in on that stupid human
How dare they?
That human fought and won honorably
How dare you touch that human?
Do not go closer to the human.
Do not move closer
I SAID DO NOT!
I SEE
YOU WILL NOT LISTEN.
THEN TASTE MY FIRE AND FLAMES
MY THUNDEROUS ROAR
MY GIANT CLAWS
Stolen from its rightful author, this tale is not meant to be on Amazon; report any sightings.
OVERWELMING POWER!
DIE! YOU WEAK MORTALS!
...
Oh.
I kinda went overboard.
Erm,
I think.
I killed..
To many
...
Well, it is their own fault.
They tried to dishonour an honourable battle
Ahem.
Let us just
Sweep them under the rug and
Ehm.
Pretend that nothing happened here.
Yeah.
That human is too stupid to ever figure it out.
I hope.
And I have to admit that it does not suit this form to clean up this mess.
It is perfect in every other way.
Dragons are, after all, the pinnacle of superiority
Of perfection.
Anyway.
Luckily I have the perfect form for this task.
Aaaaah.
How long has it been since i turned to this?
Two hundred years?
I think it was after those lizard men tried to carve a tunnel underneath my sleeping lair and I had to investigate.
Which led to them
Starting to worship me.
I, in my great wisdom, do understand why they would worship someone as great as me.
But after they figured out that I am actualy a Dragon
They freaked out.
The small tribe turned huge.
And now, underneath that mountain, is a giant maze of lizard men tribes. Like a giant anthill,
Housing millions upon millions.
Though, that is of no concern to me.
I do not really care what happens to them.
They never bothered me, so I never bothered them.
Not like this stupid human who seems to do everything in her power to annoy me.
Oh
I am done.
How long did that take?
The pile is pretty big.
What would you expect from someone as great as me?
Oh, and now the human is waking up.
Hehe
She is attacking her own legs
Stupid human, your puny little claws are not nearly long enough to cause bodily harm.
And now she stopped
And now she fell
So weak.
“Helllooo dragon?! Where are yooou?”
I am here, you stupid human
“Took you long enough, I thought you would finally die.”
“EEEK”
Now the human is turning in circles.
It is like looking at a headless chicken
Hehe
So stupid
“WHERE ARE YOU?!”
“You dense, stupid human, I am right here”
The stupid human is finally looking at me
No
The human is staring
“Gorgeous”
Yes, human. That is correct.
Sometimes even you are wise.
Even I, if I were to see myself, would stare in disbelief.
Aweing at my awesome splendor.
But still, I would not call this form “gorgeous.”
I need to fix her attitude.
“No, human, this form is not gorgeous. This form is a wonder, a spectacle, a true form of beauty, the pinnacle of survival. This form, the phoenix, can die, only to be reborn again. It holds no fear, no malice, just pure survival. And I, in my great wisdom, have spent decades. No, millennia, to perfect this form. The perfect form, a window into true art. Dare I say, I am a natural-born genius.”
“Maybe gorgeous is the wrong word. Yes, I would totally call you cute right now!”
What?
No.
Absolutely not.
“I am not, cute. Human.”
“Naaaah, the little baby dragon is shy.”
BABY DRAGON?!
HOW DARE YOU!
I AM NO SUCH THING
“I AM NOT A BABY DRAGON! I AM A PHOENIX! Maybe not a complete phoenix, but in form and structure I am complete!”
“Can I touch you? pwetty please?”
“No, absolutely not.”
“But you let me touch you when you were big!”
“I did no such thing.”
“Oh you did, I totally climbed you, and you did nothing to shake me off”
“I WAS ASLEEP! How could I have known a tiny little insect would be climbing me?”
“Oooh. So, what you are saying, is that in your great wisdom, you did not know I was there?... Hmmm?”
...
“Wait, where are you going! Dont fly away from me! HEY, YOU PROMISED TO GO ON AN ADVENTURE WITH ME!”
“I will be back. I need to hunt.”
“HOW WILL YOU FIND ME?!”
The last of her words escaped me as I flew straight up
Escaping-
No ahem.
Going hunting.
Yes
Hunting.
It has been a while since I have looked for food.
It should not take too long...
I mean, of course it will take a while.
It takes time to do a perfect hunt.
And during that time, she might die
Yes.
That would be nice.
Alone again
Like always
...
Maybe I will not take to long
I mean
I do want too see how that human dies
It will probably be endlessly amusing.
I can not wait.