Memory transcription subject: Alvi, Venlil Tourist
Date [standardized human time]: Sept 11th, 2136. Middle of 4th Claw
“Yes!” The bleat ripped itself from my lungs faster than I could consciously answer, feeling like a suffocating haze had been ripped from my heart and star!
Maeve squealed along with me and launched herself from her knees to tackle me to the ground, rolling me along with her body as she hugged and kissed my muzzle. Valek was quickly on top of us and joining in our celebration, the fluffy pile a maelstrom of affection and cacophonous joyful sounds! We stayed like that for several minutes, brushing, grooming and holding each other like none of us ever wanted to let go.
Having caught our breath, my eye met Maeve’s as she ran her fingers through my crown, and I found a joy there I don’t believe I had seen before…
No…
I had.
When she looked at Valek.
This wasn't happening, it couldn't be real... after everything that happened. After accepting my place as just a friend...
Maeve lifted herself to sit on her knees again, and I rose with her; something about her eyes locked my attention and I couldn't look away. Valek rose as well and sat behind me, wrapping his arms and paws around my belly as he resumed his grooming; It had a calming effect, and I could feel myself relax as his attentions wandered about my back and shoulders. My body tensed as he began to climb my scruff, pulling a surprised breath from me as he continued to climb higher up my neck, and his paws shifted to hold my waist. This was not how friends groomed each other… not how friends held each other... My eyes were wide with surprise when they found Maeve's. I expected to see some… admonishment, some sadness or regret. But there was none to be found... just Warmth, and Welcome.
I tried to pull away, disbelieving. They were teasing me; they had to be! Valek held me tight and secure, but kind; not a cage, his arms were shelter. He began to groom my ears gently and a shiver passed through my spine. This was real…
We were real.
I leaned into the grooming letting loose a breath I didn't know I had been holding and the tension of the moment dissolved into a jumbled mess of happy emotions all at once. I interrupted Valeks affection to groom his cheek and neck, and I could feel his quickened pulse as our tails twined tightly.
This was real. This was happening. And it was okay. I was going to be fine. We were going to be fine. Please let us be fine.
---
Memory transcription subject: Maeve, Temporary resident of Venlil Prime.
Date [standardized human time]: Sept 11th, 2136. Middle of 4th Claw
I watched my lover lick and knead and grip Alvi; I won’t deny the tinge of jealousy I felt in that moment, but it didn’t come from my heart, rather somewhere more… ‘biblical’. Such wants may be demanding, but they are patient.
Regardless, there was more we needed to talk about. I took my hand from Alvi’s crown and brushed it over and around to Valek’s current focus, blocking their affections for the moment. “Ok, you two. This is wonderful to see, but we aren’t done yet.”
Valek relented, and pulled away so he could see both Alvi and I. I laid my good hand on Valek’s, itself resting on Alvi’s waist. “Have either of you ever been in this kind of relationship?”
Negative flicks from the ears in front of me, “Alright. Valek we already talked about our pasts, what about you Alvi? Have you had any other partners before us?”
Alvi blushed a pale orange, that I could only barely make out where her fur was thinnest around her eyes. “N-no. Not for lack of trying but…”
I didn’t want to reopen old wounds, so I brushed the arm I could reach and interrupted, “It’s ok, you’re here now. But relationships are hard, and something like this is especially difficult. Before First Contact, I actually experimented with one back home and… it didn’t go well.”
The pair’s attention was squarely on me now. Valek moved to Alvi’s side, making the three of us a very small circle. “When you’re with someone, they need attention. They need to know that you want them, and appreciate them. For most people - most humans at least - it is very easy to neglect someone in favor of the other. And… I was that someone, back then.”
I felt suddenly colder, but only for a second. My new family, my new Herd, were there to dispel the cold. Gathering myself, I started again, “I would never forgive myself if I let either of you feel the way I did.”
Valek sat straighter and moved to speak, “I’ve never been in something like this, but there were a few Herds that experimented when I was in University. There was an air of… ease? Of simplicity to it. Like it was just convenient.” He wrapped his tail around Alvi and held my hand, looking at us both, “That is not what I feel today. This doesn’t feel simple, or just convenient. It feels… It feels complete. It feels freeing, to be allowed to love both of you. It feels like my heart doubled in size! I Want this to work, and I am willing to put in the effort to make it happen!”
He nuzzled the broadside of Alvi’s snout while eyeing me with a wide gleaming eye, happiness and joy clear in his affect. My sight rested on Alvi along with his, and her blush deepened because of it. “This is all… so new to me, I don’t even know where to begin. How do you two do it? How can you be so… This?”
Alvi pointed at my hand in Valek’s paw, and I couldn’t help smiling at the happy memory of our confessions; Valek’s tail told me he was on a similar page. “People show love in an uncountable myriad of ways; it just so happens that Valek and I both enjoy touch. Because of that, we tend to show our affection by holding paws, or tails; he really likes this spot just behind his ear!” And I scratched the space, Valek swatting my hand away as Alvi and I giggled. “Because touch comes so naturally to Valek and I, we may show that same affection to you, Alvi; though I don’t know if you enjoy that kind of touch, or prefer something different. Most of what a relationship is, is learning. Learning how your partner speaks, and how to understand their meaning beyond their words. Learning how your partner tells you that their needs are met, or when they aren’t.”
Valek’s ears were on me and his tail twitched excitedly; I always loved it when he was eager to learn! “What do you mean by ‘needs aren’t met’? How do we know?”
“Well, sometimes people want certain things you may not think about. Like a touch at the right time, or a kind word in the morning. And sometimes it can be kind of big, like remembering a holiday. None of us are mind readers, we can’t expect each other to know all of these all the time, we will sometimes forget. But it is also important that we try.”
“You mean like when I… When I chewed on that rock.” Alvi showed worry, but Valek and I did what we could to encourage her, “You didn’t freak out, or yell. You just… you tried to understand.”
I smiled broadly for her, and she seemed to perk up at that, “That’s right! Valek, for example, can sometimes have a bit of a temper. That’s ok, some things are right to be mad about or mad at, but he is still learning how to be mad at the right things. We’ve talked about it a few times, and I feel much more comfortable with him because of it.”
Valek spoke up after me, “And Maeve is still trying to adjust to Venlil Prime and our people. I try to be her root, and help her grow when the weather is unkind. But I can only do so much.”
And I continue his thought, “And doing what you can is enough. These are all things we have had to learn; even in the scarcely three weeks Valek and I have known each other we have each lost control more than once, and we have helped bring each other back.”
Alvi quickly asked, “And how do you do that?”
Valek was the first to answer, “Sometimes I just need to be angry. Burn it out, until I’m too tired to yell. I don’t like it when that happens, but sometimes it’s all that works. For nearly everything else: just taking a moment to breathe works wonders.”
And I was the next, “I really like touch, and being around people who care; so you two are already doing a fantastic job of that!”
I could see Alvi’s mood improving steadily, slowly becoming the glowing beacon of joy that I saw in her. Then her ears dipped, sadness settling into them before she spoke, her voice shaky. “I… I don’t know what I need. When things get bad, I don’t…”
After waiting long enough to give Alvi the chance to answer, Valek finished her thought. “She ran to hide in the bathroom. I didn’t want to leave her alone like that, so I tucked her into bed. She stayed like that till you came back.”
Unauthorized tale usage: if you spot this story on Amazon, report the violation.
Panic and worry flared in my chest as I realized what happened, “Oh, Alvi, I’m so sorry… You’ve told me about how - I didn’t mean to do that to you.”
I laid my hand against her jaw, and she leaned into it as she spoke. “It’s ok. I know why you left, and I don’t blame you for it; but it did hurt.” Her ears fell back against her head, “It hurt a lot.”
“I’m sorry. I can’t promise that I won’t make that mistake again, but I can promise that I will try. If it is any comfort, know that I will come back.”
“But why did you leave? What did I do to make you walk out like that?” Alvi’s voice was sad, but understanding, and I could tell it was more because she wasn’t surprised, rather than because she understood.
I drew a shaking breath, cleared my throat and answered, “I left because I was wrong, not because of anything you did, Alvi. I know that many relationships have… a certain idea of where they should go, and I couldn’t figure a way that Valek and I could do that. He and I could be happy, but I knew that Valek could have more - deserved more. I didn’t want to be the reason that Valek wouldn’t have the life he deserved; a life with you, Alvi.”
I squeezed her paw, and after a breath, continued, “So I walked away. It was selfish of me to walk out of your lives without talking to you about it, but I wasn’t thinking then. Someone in the forum… he gave me the strength to try again.”
I held Alvi’s paw while I looked at Valek, “But if we want this to work, we are going to have to Try. Like, Really Try. That is all I can ask of you, and all I will, but we can’t take what we have for granted. We have to remember each other, and help us remember ourselves too.”
Alvi’s eyes met mine and Valek's, deep oblong pools of inky black bordered by a ring of starlight, set in a sea of deep gold, “I can promise that I will try, but I’m worried I might be too much, or not enough. I hope that you both will be patient with me?”
Valek’s tail wagged happily behind him, as he leaned in to nuzzle Alvi’s snout, “That is a promise I can make, Alvi. As for me, I hope you don’t get tired of my affections. I love you both, and I love to show it!”
The three of us giggled at our good mood for a moment, before Alvi asked, “So, how do we do this? Do we… I dunno, trade off? Do we just spend all of our time with all of us? I wouldn’t complain, but I would like to know.”
I answered this one, “It would be a mix. It is wonderful to be piled under both of your loves, but people also like to be special sometimes. There will be times, like when we went to the Gravity Arcade, or when we go to the museum, where we all go together, as individuals and as a herd, but not as a couple. And there will also be times we set aside for someone. Maybe the other person is busy, or it's a special day for the two of you; but we try to use those days to really show that person what they mean to us, without distraction.”
And Valek next, “Like when I go to the library, or when Alvi is helping mom with the droids!”
“Exactly! We all have our interests, and sometimes they won’t align. But that’s ok! We are separate people, and are allowed to do our own thing! None of us are forced to be a part of this, and we are not joined at the hip.”
“While we are on the topic, Alvi, if I wanted to do something special for you, what would you be excited to see?”
Alvi thought for a moment, and her tail flicked slightly when she spoke, “I… I really liked it when you got me gifts.” Valek flicked his ears to encourage her, while I continued to hold her paw, “I’ve never gotten gifts like that before. Just, you know, the company gift card for your birthday. Thank you, really; if I haven’t said it yet.”
“I’m really glad Alvi. I didn’t want to bring it up, but I’m really sorry for how your parents treated you.” Valek leaned closer, and put his weight against Alvi, “We can’t make up for what happened, but we can try to make what comes next all the better.”
Shifting my attention to Valek, I asked him the same. “How about you, Valek? What would you like to see?”
His body was glowing with joy, and had been for several minutes. I found it very infectious, my cheeks long since numb from smiling and laughing. “I’m not one to turn down a paw inside, but I really like doing things. When I was in university I was part of a bolting herd, and we would sometimes see who could get to the other side of campus first! All this walking today has been fantastic!”
Valek turned his ears to me, “Alright Maeve, your turn!”
I thought for a moment. All of my happier moments with these two had been in the small moments between big ones. Except for the Gravity Arcade. That was amazing. “I like new things, and sharing them with people; especially the people I care about!” I bent down and kissed Valek on the snout. Which seemed to surprise Alvi. “Most often it’s movies or media; all the better because with a movie, I get to cuddle up with someone…” and my eye drifted to Alvi instead, her orange blush just visible at the tips of her ears.
“A-About that… um… How… How do you… uh…” Alvi touched the spot where I kissed Valek on her own snout. “Show affection? How do I… return it?”
Valek brought his attention to her, and answered, “Just like any Venlil! C’mon, I’ll show you!” And he lifted Alvi to stand with him. The two hopped into the warren bed, and I could feel the heat rising in my cheeks.
“Uh, actually, Valek… your Venlil ‘grooming’ habits are a fair bit more intimate than what humans normally do.” I changed into my pajamas, and rolled into the cushy bowl with the two of them. “But I've noticed you groom each other a lot, and I also saw some while I was in the forum. How does that work?”
Alvi shifted to lay against my good side, and I wrapped my arm over her shoulder and down her back, gently kneading the fur I found there. Valek had taken his place at my casted side, stroking my waist through my pajama top,
“I’ve never really given it a lot of thought, but I think it is really about location. You don’t groom strangers at all, it's definitely a friends and family thing; but even then, it’s divided. Your mom would groom your snout as a hello, and you could groom her shoulder back, but you wouldn’t go anywhere near each other’s scruff. That kind of thing - neck, scruff, hips, upper legs - those are for when you’re at home with your mate. Especially the tail!” He flicked his own for emphasis, “It’s really sensitive, so grooming or kneading it is seen as very intimate; with the exception of Chaining. Kids grab their parent’s tail and so on, so the whole herd stays together.”
The day was starting to take its toll, and my voice purred from encroaching sleep, “Is that what that was about earlier? I was worried you and Alvi were going to ‘have a moment’.”
Valek turned a vibrant shade of orange and, though Alvi was out of my sight, I was certain she had too. “Well, that’s kind of why there is so much delineation. Grooming like that can be an invitation, or a declaration, depending on context.” Valek picked up his head so he could see Alvi’s across my body, “It was both, by the way, little Stormcloud.”
Valek pulled the closest thing to a ‘Shit-eating-grin’ I had ever seen on a Venlil, and I could feel Alvi tense up and hold me closer. An evil thought came to mind while I mustered what energy I could, “Is that so? Hmm… hey, Alvi? How about we switch places?”
I turned my head to see her eye, which was sweeping around the room, her ears searching as well. After a few moments of thought, her eye met mine and she nodded. I struggled to a crawling position, letting Alvi scoot herself under and past me to where I was, while I shifted to her other side. Valek and I were now on either side, Alvi facing Valek with her back to me.
I reflexively started to lay my hand on her hip, then thought better on it, rather asking,
“So, Valek, how do I do this?”
I saw his tail twitch as he responded, “You don’t have a tongue like ours, so kissing and nuzzling would be the closest. Start at her shoulders, and work your way up to her neck and ears.”
Taking mental notes, I then asked Alvi, “I want to make sure you’re ok with this. Can I touch you, Alvi?”
She took a steadying breath before nodding, and I laid my hand on her hip and started to work my fingers into her wool, and the skin beneath it. Being larger than her by a fair margin, I shifted down to nest her against my torso, my legs bending to a mock fetal position to totally swaddle Alvi. I started to press my lips through her wool along her upper back and shoulders, walking and wandering aimlessly. I split my attention between her and Valek, and saw he had started to repeat his motions when he sang her a song earlier, lightly tracing his tongue along her snout while running his thumbs around the ridge of her eyes and jaw.
I felt Alvi’s breathing become slow and deep, occasionally shuddering when she exhaled. A moment longer and I could feel braided tails lay against my leg, and I took this as a signal to move higher. I walked my lips up her spine, lingering only slightly on her scruff and drawing the slightest mewl from her, before continuing higher. Reaching the base of her ear, I shifted my hand to the same and started to slowly pinch and rub the sensitive skin.
Another deep breath, longer than before, and Alvi melted into the bed, tail falling limp were it not for Valek’s twining. Valek halted his affections, and I brought my arm around her chest and pulled her closer to me.
“Goodnight little Stormcloud. Sleep well.”
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Memory transcription subject: Alvi, Venlil Tourist
Date [standardized human time]: Sept 11th, 2136. Middle of 4th Claw
Maeve’s question rang in my ears. Valek before me, and Maeve behind me laid unmoving, waiting for my consent. I took a deep breath to steady my hammering heart, then nodded. I felt her hand lay its weight on my hip, pressing further to wind her fingers through my wool and knead the skin beneath. I felt her weight shift behind me and she nestled up to my back. I could feel her full presence and warmth against me and it felt both sheltering, and overpowering; almost claustrophobic. Valek shifted as well, moving so he may groom me thoroughly without reaching across the thick air between us. He started by rubbing the ridge of my snout and jaw, grooming the fur as he traveled, much like his ministrations during his lullaby.
He loves me…
I could feel Maeve press her face through my wool against my upper back and shoulders, wandering and walking till she touched her love against every part she could reach. I felt her hand grip and stroke along my silhouette, pulling me against her to emphasize her affection.
She loves me…
I closed my eyes and lifted my snout to fall deeper into their attentions. I sighed and while I felt Valek’s grooming wander down my throat, feeling my pulse beat along with his efforts while his tail wrapped tightly around mine.
He loves me…
Maeve’s grip slowly pulses and kneads on my waist while she pressed her lips up along my spine, pausing briefly at my scruff and making me shiver because of it. I felt her full length stretched against me as she wandered higher up the back of my head, pausing to focus her attention at the base of my ear, gently brushing her fingers along the edges to its tip.
She Loves me…
I felt every muscle in my body go slack as all I let go of all breath and worry throughout my entire being, falling what little further I could onto the bed and into their love, feeling my consciousness slip as sleep overcame me.
They Love Me.
I Love Me.
I Am Loved.