Memory transcription subject: Maeve, Temporary resident of Venlil Prime.

Date [standardized human time]: Sept 11th, 2136. Start of 4th Claw

I watched Valek and Alvi walking in front of me as we made our way back to the hotel, their steps and tails in sync as they chattered about lunch and what we might do for the rest of our stay. My eyes lifted to the herds surrounding us, and I started to see familiar sights.

A small herd nuzzled a single Venlil, seemingly an adult, before they left the circle on their own adventure, while the circle closed behind them. I saw another small herd walking past us, and I craned my head around me to watch them pass. Two older Venlil led the herd, while two younger in the back kept up while holding onto the older’s tails; one of the younger had different wool than the rest, and I saw their ears honed in on one another. There were three venlil across the road from us that talked and pushed each other without malice, the attention of the two lingering slightly longer than the third.

My eyes returned to my friends, and I watched their banter and ribbing in a new light. How could I have missed this?! Even setting aside the alien body language, they’ve been inseparable since we all came together. They both seem really happy…

We had made it back to the Forum and I tore my ears away from the noise to instead focus on the conversation in front of me. Believing the pain of their affections to be less than the suffocating reminders that I am not part of them.

“-- As much as I love the Gravity Arcade, I really want to bring Maeve to the Museum of Federation Sciences.” Alvi’s head turned so she could see me behind her with one eye, “They have a whole room about Warp Plates! We can see how they were discovered, and how they were first used!”

Alvi’s exuberance pulled a smile to my hidden face, but it was half-hearted. I retreated into my self loathing as we rode the elevator up to our room, and we all stepped inside. My thoughts were occupied by what I would do after this, and my shoulders slumped when I thought about their life together. Two happy Venlil, living happy Venlil lives, without fear of a human. Valek deserved it. And so did Alvi.

Did I? These two had been so good, to me and to each other, that it was obvious they would live well, and fruitful lives. What have I done? Parents kicked me out; ‘gotta learn to be an adult! Ain’t learnin’ nothin’ living with your parents!’. Couch-hopped between friends, but I couldn’t hold a job so I couldn’t help with rent. My last job was pretty nice! Got to talk to people, and I could afford an apartment! Then I had to run off and meet an alien; no way is that job still waiting for me.

Every time you try to find something better, you fuck up and it falls apart. When are you going to learn?

I stood in the open space, suddenly feeling like I shouldn’t be there, like an unwanted distraction to the start of a new story. Valek needed a good life, and Alvi needed a good family, neither of which I could really give them. I was just another drain on the both of them; dead weight.

I turned around and the door slid open for me, I stepped into the hallway while Alvi’s voice rang behind me, but I simply kept walking. As the elevator descended, I watched the ground come up to meet me. Somewhere in the darker corners of my mind I wished it would accelerate and solve my worries with a healthy application of gravity. But I landed safely, and the whistle sounded behind me, so I started walking again. I ignored the terrified Venlil at the counter, and left the hotel. My senses were assaulted with Outside; the smells of the city, noise of the Forum, and light of the sun suddenly more than my mind could take.

I found shade in the cover of an empty stage in a corner of the diamond-shaped forum. From the taller vantage point of the stage’s edge I watched distant herds as they milled about, my translator refusing to parse the muddled ocean of conversation.

I saw couples sharing their mealtimes, letting their larger herd carry their conversation. I watched others touch ears and laugh at happy memories. One herd spoke, and their bodies showed worry, a mother gripped her child against her chest wool while stroking their ears and back. Another youngster, no older than Vaibek, sprinted across the turquoise lawn weaving between adults as they angrily lashed their tails at the passing child, closely followed by other youth. A mother was nearer to me, her eye locked onto where my face should be, while three pups clung to the wool of her legs; it was like staring at a small family of jackrabbits. My eyes only passed over them, taking in the sight of the larger crowd.

I imagined The Berrypatch with Valek and Alvi at the kitchen counter, cleaning the dishes from a freshly finished meal, while two venlil ran laps around the table and a third held onto Alvi’s chest, peeking at their siblings over their mother’s shoulder. I imagined Valek and I, standing in that same kitchen, empty of life but for our own. I saw my own parents in my own kitchen, I saw them argue about money, and time; not the first time, and not the last. My fantasies spiraled into imagined breakdowns and conflicts, major and minor as I tried to imagine a life with Valek and found it harder and harder.

What could I offer Valek? Why should I stay? Nothing, and no reason. You came to an alien world, full of strangers who want you dead. For. No. Reason.

My breath hitched in my throat, and my mouth contorted into a silent scream. I drew a shaking breath and tried to cry, but nothing came out. I was alone in my anguish as my stomach turned and I felt tears pool at the corners of my eyes. I wrap my arms around me and bend at the middle, my lungs wrenching and twisting in pained convulsions.

“Predator, you need to leave. You’re scaring the Venlil.” A voice calls out from the edge of the stage, a slight tremor of apprehension to it.

I looked up to the speaker and found what looked like a two-legged bear, standing between me and the growingly attentive crowd. I dried my eyes before addressing the bear directly, “I’m not here to hurt anyone. Please, I just need to be left alone.”

The bear hardened its stance, and puffed the fur on their back, “I’m not going to let you make this your hunting grounds. You’ll either have to move on, or I’ll drag you.”

“I Won’t…” I sighed, defeated. I just didn’t have it in me to fight this today.

I sniff muck from my nose and ask through a breaking voice, “Look… man…? I’m just having a hard time right now. If it’s ok with you, can we just… Talk, please? I’ve never seen a… whatever you are…”

The bear looked surprised at the statement, a moment’s hesitation before it began. “I am Gojidi. We can talk, if it distracts you from your hunt. I do not trust you, Predator.”

“Well, I trust you, Gojid.” I shifted my weight to make space for the ample creature, inviting it to take a seat by my wounded side; though they stayed standing where they were.

“Tell me, Predator, what is it you would ask of me?” The Gojid seemed to lack a tail that I could see, though the ears were surprisingly emotive despite their size.

“Just… kindness. Is that really so foreign a concept for you aliens? How about what brought you here? Why are you on Venlil Prime?” My breathing had evened out, and I was starting to get back to my senses.

His voice took on a rather neutral tone as he talked. “I was brought here by my parents. My father was an exterminator, like myself, and his father before him. I am here because these people need protection from Predators. Predators lik--”

“Like me,” I added sardonically, along with his own words. “Yep. Yeah, I’ve heard the whole thing. I honestly kind of agree with you! If VP has things like whatever did this,” I lifted my casted arm for emphasis, “I think Tarlim called it a Shadestalker? I can see why you need a force.”

The Gojid huffed, “Of course you would be friends with the giant. Although I am surprised you survived an encounter with Shadestalkers; it would seem I now know which is the stronger predator. What, I wonder, would motivate you to engage them? Fighting for territory? Staking a claim for food?”

I quieted my laughter with a hum, which still seemed to set them on edge. “If you’re wondering who is the stronger predator, I hate to disappoint you, but the answer is Venlil.” I giggled when the ‘gojid’ balked at that. “Yeah! He got two, and I just got the one. He had a gun though, so who knows. One of their farming droids was down, so I went to help collect it. The things were waiting in the woods when we got there.”

Their stance slackened, and obvious doubt covered their features, “I should think a firearm makes the comparison hardly fair. Even still, why would you defend these Venlil? Why even be there in the first place?” The Gojid seemed interested now.

A smile cracked beneath my veil and I leaned slightly toward the Gojid. “I should think a flamethrower makes the comparison hardly fair. Even still, why would you defend these Venlil? Why even be here in the first place?”

They stopped again, stiffening slightly at the comparison while they fixed one eye on my veil in thought. “Don’t twist my words like we are the same. I do this because it is my duty. Because I care for the people here. They have helped my family and taken us into their herd. Such things are not the case for you.”

“Are they not?” I was actually starting to have fun again! I hoped my unlikely companion was, too. “Who took in humanity? Who welcomed my people into the wider galaxy, when we had spent our entire history alone? Who were our First Friends in the cosmos?”

I leaned away from the Gojid, and their posture relaxed as I did. “Venlil are family now. We will defend them to the last soul. I would say I gave my arm for it, but your guys’ medicine is really good.”

The Gojid huffed again, their ears flapping atop their head as they stared back at me. “And what would family mean to a predator? What could compel something as ruthless as you to stand between a Venlil and a Shadestalker?”

“Family is…” My eyes returned to the crowd in front of me. Some of the throng had thinned, but several still stood stunned. “...who we protect. From harm, from misery, and from sadness. Family is everything and everyone, helping each other find and keep peace. Family is who we love.”

“What does a predator know of love?” The Gojid sneered as they spat the words.

“You tell me, Exterminator. When you burn predators, what do the adult predators do? Run? Abandon their young?”

Their ears wiggled smugly. “Yes! They run to avoid the tiny demons as much as they can!”

“I’ll bet they run every direction but where the den is, don’t they?” Their ears stopped then, and they watched me intently, “Maybe chase you down, nip and bark at you every step closer you get to the burrow, don’t they?

They recovered, and I heard a thump of what must be a heavy tail behind them, “Of course a predator would know how they act. Same tainted herd.”

But I pressed my point, “And when you finally reach the den, those predators throw themselves at you. Tooth and claw, pulling you away from the den, and making you face them before you get to the cubs. And when they can’t…”

“I’ll bet that the first thing the fire licks: is the parent. And more often than not, you have to move their charred husk to get to the mewling cubs. Isn’t that right, Exterminator?”

Stolen story; please report.

They weren’t wagging anymore, “And how can you possibly know this?”

“Do you have children, Gojid? If one of them were diagnosed with Predator Disease, if they were labeled a monster… if exterminators came to your door to burn your child… Who would they burn first? Your child? Or You?”

They stood stiff, breathing heavily. After several moments, they asked, “What are you trying to tell me, Predator?”

“You asked me, ‘What does a predator know of love?’ The answer is: just as much as you. Love is protection. Love is mercy. Love is support. It is the kindness we give to those who may not deserve it.”

They derisively tossed their snout, “And what have the Venlil done to earn this?

I turned to fully face the Gojid, and they bristled again. “Do you believe that love is so transactional that someone must get something from it? What is love to you, Gojid?”

By his expression, he didn’t seem to be expecting the question to be turned back on him. His brows furrowed in both confusion and thought. After a minute of his mental conflict passing, his voice spoke once more. “Love is… love. It is the care I show to my family. The fervor I put into my work to keep this city and its people safe. The effort I put into bringing home my wife's favorite food when she is sick. The gentleness I show my cubs when I put them down to sleep at the end of a paw. Love is to care for another more than yourself.” The Gojid had a distant look in their eye, focused on something I couldn’t see, while I could hear their tail slowly wagging as they thought.

I nodded slowly, before responding, “Love is Service. Another virtuous goal. And if I may, congratulations on your family; I hope you and your cubs live a long life.” His shoulders stiffened as his eye snapped back into focus on me, an eyebrow narrowing down ever so slightly as he studied my veil.

“What we have to gain from love, is love in return.” I started emoting with my good hand, pulling the words into my chest, “I wish that were true, and many of us try to make it so, but not all humans are the same. I won’t deny there are many who feel as you do, that to love is to be in service to another. And there are others who only know love as being in service to themselves. We are not perfect, though based on the incident at the station, I don’t believe anyone is perfect.”

He huffed in irritation, “That disaster was because of one officer; since fired, I’ll have you know.”

I look at him skeptically, “I saw the broadcast; there were three sprayers. And what of the one with that match?”

He let out a sigh. “The Sprayers panicked and acted like there was a threat, when the only threat was that idiot of a Venlil.” He spat on the ground. “The Idiot is gone, good riddance, and the Sprayers and Lighter are on desk duty, indefinitely. Better than they deserve, I’d say.”

I waited a moment, knowing the next question needed to be asked, and afraid of where it would take me. “And did you feel good when the human writhed on the ground? Was it right for him to burn?”

The Gojid’s ears shifted as they looked for an answer; narrowing their eye toward me, “I am no monster; I do not take joy in the suffering of other beings, Predator or not.”

I relented, and leaned away from him, “You’re a good person, Gojid. Mercy is Love.” After a moment of silence, I offered, “I’m Maeve.”

Apprehension was clear in his eyes as he considered whether to tell me his name. “I am Ulmic. Thank you, it is good to hear that… even if it comes from a predator.”

I chuckled lightly, “I’ll take that as a compliment, Ulmic. And it is a pleasure to meet you.”

I offered the seat beside me again. This time, after a few seconds' consideration, he took it. As he turned his back to me, I could see long straight fur on their back, dotted with long spines. Their head and back glistened in the sun, like they were covered in a wet gel. Once he had gotten comfortable, I asked another question to start a new topic.

“I’ve been told this place is called a Forum? What do you talk about here?”

Ulmic thought for a moment, measuring his response before speaking as he cast his other eye about the space in front of the stage. “That is the correct word for it, I suppose. To say there is one subject to speak about at a Forum would be both correct and yet incorrect at once. Forums are a place to come together, speak about anything under the sun and stars; family, work, interests, plans, and feelings. To connect with friends and feel at one with your herd. To speak of life, and all its many subjects.”

“And as a consequence, observe it.” I pointed out the younger pair in the corner, their ears never leaving each other. “Those two have been staring at each other since before I got here.”

His attention followed my finger, landing on the pair. “Yes, I suppose that is accurate. Young lovers often take to the forums as a way of announcing their intentions without announcing them. It is a cute custom, I think.”

I giggled slightly, “I’ll try to avoid any implications then, old man.”

His laughter was surprisingly high, in spite of his size, like an ocarina moved down an octave. “I think we should be fine, I am far too old to be doing that anymore. Although I’ll have you know I was quite the lady’s man before I met Bernia; she settled me down right quick. I still remember the day we met… Though I doubt that would concern you.”

“Oh, it concerns me a great deal, Ulmic! Please, please tell me about how you met!”

I may not have understood Gojid ear or tail signals, but I knew happiness when I saw it. “It was a warm day; a storm had just passed, so the humidity was thick, and I remember watching flowerbirds playing in the puddles. I was taking the Ring into the Capitol to meet some family from a colony that had come to visit.” After a moment of watching the sun through the leaves of a tree, his attention wandered back to me

“I was ahead of schedule so I decided to stop into a Forum; see what I could find to pass the time. And there she was: golden fur and shining quills glinting in the sun, beautiful laughter dancing on the wind like a humdrum seeking a flower. It took everything I could muster to talk to her; a new feeling for me, I assure you!” He spoke with a chortle, waving his paw to emphasize his surety.

With a soft wistfulness, he continued, “She was the kindest woman I had ever met. We spoke for a full claw about everything under the sun… until I realized I had missed picking up my family from the space port by a half a claw!”

Ulmic laughed, and I joined him. His higher pitch was so unlike his size… “She hurried me off, but it wasn’t until I was already at the station that I remembered: I never got her pad! I needed to find her, so I opened mine to try to maybe see her on Bleat; and wouldn’t you know it!”

His eye was gleaming with mischief and joy, and I waited with bated breath, “I had a message waiting for me! ‘My name is Bernia, by the way.’!” The large Gojid belted out a resonant belly-laugh, more befitting his appearance, “The sneaky little shali stole my pad when I wasn’t looking, and snuck her contact into it!”

His story set me to cackling amid his belly laugh, drawing no small number of stares from the rest of the forum. It took several moments for us to catch our breath before he continued, “She’s never let me live that down, especially any time family comes to visit. I can’t imagine my life without her; or our cubs.”

Our talk settled for a moment, while we watched the bustling crowd further into the forum. “What of you, Predator? I have given you a story of my life, have you one in kind for me? I must admit, this conversation has been far more pleasant than I imagined it would be.”

“Surely you've learned that surprises come from surprising places? But yes, I do. We met… we met recently. We talked for hours! And I learned so much from him. We met new friends, and she came with us. She is amazing, but she refuses to see it. We all moved in with his parents in th-... in a tiny town. The kids were always so excited to learn, and everything just felt… like home.”

Ulmic looked pensive, nodding his head slowly, “And yet something is amiss. I take it this… this friend… isn’t like you?” And he leaned slightly closer, speaking softer, “Isn’t Human?”

My heart stopped, and my mouth refused to speak. After a moment, Ulmic thumped his tail in satisfying finality before starting again, “I would be a hypocrite if I were to judge you for that; I’ve been on this planet all my life, and the Gojid dating pool is rather small, as I am sure you’ve noticed.” He cleared his throat before refocusing, “So this other friend would be the thorn in your paw, I assume? Er… hand, as I believe you call it.”

I shook my head, my veil billowing below me as I did, “No, no. She would never be a thorn. But how can… he would be so much happier with her. I see it when they're together; in hindsight, I should have known days ago.”

“Why?” Ulmic asked, that single eye peering into my veil. “Why would he be so much happier with her than with you?”

“I can’t…” My tears reasserted themselves, and my voice faltered, “I can’t give him a future. I can’t keep the farm, I can't give him… I mean, it's fun, and we are happy, but where can this go?”

“Why does it need to go anywhere? What would be wrong with simply being happy with one another? If he knows the farm then you can help. And the Venlil are no strangers to adoption. It is more important to be happy than it is to be going anywhere.” Ulmic assured me. I could see a fatherly instinct in his eye, odd that he would apply it to a ‘predator’ so quickly.

My heart lifted, before it fell again, “But… what about Alvi? I can’t… I don’t want her to leave. She is such a good friend, and I couldn’t do that to her.”

Ulmic tilted his head again before pointing across the forum, indicating a trio of Venlil sat closely on a bench. Looking closer, I noticed it was the same three I saw earlier, across the road. “Tell me, Maeve, what do you think of those three there? Do you think them a trio of friends out for a conversation on a beautiful day?”

Remembering their exchange, I shrugged, “I saw them earlier. Yeah those two are adorable, but the third hasn't a clue; why?”

Ulmic beeped his jovial laugh, “You’re courting a Venlil and you’re still this blind? Watch their tails, under the bench there.”

I struggled to focus over the distance and through my veil, but if it hadn’t been pointed out to me I would think three snakes were having a moment.

My voice dropped to a whisper, “Oh, get a room, you three!”

Ulmic laughed lightly again, his tail thumping slowly. “So, then. What would prevent you from accepting Alvi into your little herd?”

“Well, when I was on Earth I tried a… man, am I really about to tell you this?” I tore my sight from the lovebirds to face Ulmic directly, the sudden movement flaring his quills; only slightly, and only for a moment.

“You are really easy to talk to for a cop, you know that?” The comment prompted a snort from the Gojid, before I continued, “I actually tried… that before, and I was always the third wheel. What if that happens again? Or, god forbid, happens to Alvi? I couldn’t do that to her, knowing how it feels.”

Ulmic swatted his paw, like the thought were an annoying fly, “All that needs is conversation, and understanding. Which, if the past…” Ulmic pulled his pad from his shoulder pouch, “Quarter claw has taught me, seems to be lessons you’ve learned.”

It’s a nice thought. But how would that work, practically? I just… ask to have more of their time? Maybe we could talk about houses, and families. I’m sure Valek would love that.

Like how we talked about blushing. Or chewing.

A long silence while I imagined what could happen. “... I think I need to talk to them.”

“I think that is a good idea. This has been… nice.” He pondered a moment before speaking again. “Before you go, I think I would like to be able to contact you again.” He offered his pad to me, and I tapped mine against it. With a poke of mirth in his voice he finished, “To keep tabs on a dangerous predator, of course.”

I lifted myself from my seat, startling a small gasp from the crowd, and offered a hand to Ulmic, “Ah, yes, it is going to be very difficult to keep tabs on an excessively tall parasol that cries sometimes.”

With no small effort, I pulled the Gojid to his feet, though I believe he may have simply humored me. “If it is any comfort, we are only in Dawn Creek for the next few paws; just visiting. We should be out of your hair before you know it.”

Ulmic dusted himself off before addressing me, “Thank you for the notice! I’ll be sure to be extra vigilant for emotional umbrellas for a few paws.” Ulmic turned to face me, and bowed his head briefly, “It has been… good. It has been good to meet you, Maeve the human.”

I returned his bow, bending my knees slightly to keep my balance, “And to you, Ulmic the Gojid.” before stepping across him and back the way I came, back to the hotel.