Ulric entered the room well before dawn. Suddenly, he felt he understood everything about Nashota after he learned of the kill-order.
The room was chilly, dark, and empty. The window was sitting on the floor next to a warped inwards wall.
He wanted to laugh, but he kept it inside as best as he could, body twitching and spasming so hard in the not-quite silent cackling until his eyes watered. That is how you vanished without a trace last time. You went out the window.
When he had mastered himself, he walked up to the gaping hole in the wall and looked out to where the pale pink of dawn was starting to cut into the rare moonless night.
He quietly turned and left. I should have listened to Genya back then. Gaiden too. Oh well.
He locked the door to the room. No one stopped him as he went down the hall, picked up a readiness pack and headed outside. He was a zero, of course, no one stopped him. Ieshans actively avoided him. He went outside the walls, threw the key as far away as he could, and then transformed into his favorite shape, a bear, and kept walking. Best of luck to you, bastard, he thought to Nashota.
***
When Rosalea opened her eyes; she was confused about where she was. It felt like the inside of a tree, but then it must be a really large tree bent around them. Then she realized she could see several trees twisted together to form a tent shape. Lio was fussing, and Genya was making gentle shushing noises. She sat up blearily, feeling cold and exhausted. Every muscle in her body felt like it hurt. Why is it so dim in here? she thought as she looked at the dark uneven walls and felt the cold dank air around her. Light was only coming in from an opening toward the front of the circular tree shape around them.
Lio graduated from being fussy to petulant shrieks. Rosalea held out her arms, “Give me Lio,” she said to Genya, her brain translating the pitch of those baby cries as a request for food. I do not know how long we have both been asleep, Rosalea thought as she adjusted her dress.
Genya nodded with relief and came over to her. When Rosalea went to adjust her dress, it sent a jolt of pain through her hands and a blister burst. She wrinkled her nose in horror as she glanced down at her hands and they were burned again. Again? She definitely felt that this had happened to her before when using magic somehow inappropriately, but she couldn’t remember the first time.
She might have pushed herself harder to try and remember, but just like everyone else in the tree-den, she could no longer handle hearing Lio. She let Genya help her and then sighed relief when it was quieter.
“I am glad to see everyone is awake,” said a soft, gentle voice as a tall woman with long dark brown hair ducked beneath the opening in the trees. Rosalea felt Fen grow tense, the wolf bowed to the woman in a formal manner.
“Thank you for the help and shelter,” Rosalea said uncertainly. The woman smiled, tucking hair behind a long, pointed ear, An elf, Rosalea recognized.
“I owe an old lover a favor.” She had the sort of voice that Rosalea felt she could listen to all day, it was so low-pitched, soothing, and inviting.
“Do I know him?” Rosalea asked as she adjusted Lio a little.
“Not well. I empathize with you; we are both Lost,” she said with a hint of a smile on her lips that made Rosalea wonder what the joke was. She reached out and ran her fingertips gently against Lio’s golden hair. “She is adorable.”
“Thank you.”
The woman smiled again. “I cannot stay long. I have breakfast for you both, a few simple supplies. You must move again and get as far away as you can. There are mages of every kind and Ieshans trying to find you even now.”
Rosalea felt her stress rise, pushing away some of the exhaustion. “Wash out your injuries and bandage them. Fen, I would advise taking a little time to explain more about magic to her. You are lucky that she could escape at all with you there.”
The wolf bowed her head, taking the comment as if it was a serious sanction. Rosalea frowned and tugged Fen closer to her other side with the arm that was not holding up Lio. “Fen helped me,” Rosalea defended the wolf.
The woman grinned. “Your defensive opinion is refreshing to me. I am sure she did. I will let Fen explain how she was a hindrance later.”
Rosalea tilted her head. “You seem familiar with me. Did we… ever meet before?”
The woman nodded. “In a marsh once.” She studied Rosalea’s face. “Maybe one day, you will remember. For now, I must go. I hope that my gifts to you will aid you in your escape.” She gestured with her hand, two wooden bowls appeared filled with a warm porridge that made Rosalea’s mouth water because it smelled so nice. There were two cups of hot liquid that smelled almost bitter to Rosalea, and a roll of bandages with a fresh canteen of water that was still steaming. She gave Fen a cut of meat that the wolf was more than grateful to receive.
When Rosalea looked up from what appeared next to her, the woman had somehow vanished.
“Who was that?”
Genya had wide eyes and shook her head no, to show she had no idea. “She carried ya here last night, and I fell asleep with Lio. She feels very… important.”
Fen did not answer right away, but Rosalea could feel she knew something. She pressed mentally on the wolf to tell her. “She is called Mysteera.”
Rosalea held Lio, patting her back to help her breakfast settle. “Fen says that she is called Mysteera. Though, you should eat Genya,” Rosalea said. “Then I can eat if Lio still needs attention.”
“Thank you,” Genya said softly.
I hurt all over, Rosalea thought as she felt cold prickling at all her exposed skin. She fumbled for a blanket and buried herself and Lio in it.
Genya was watching her closely. “How ya feel?”
“Cold and sore. I will be alright. I agree with our mysterious benefactor that we should try to go soon.”
Genya nodded and lifted the cup of warm liquid Rosalea’s lips, holding it for her as she had as much water to drink as she could handle. It was extremely bitter, but it was warm, and she was thirsty. As it settled in her belly, it helped her feel better. Genya laughed at Rosalea’s wrinkled nose. “I’ve not had coffee since I lived in Eirenn. ‘Tis better with sugar.”
Fen whined, and Genya nodded to the wolf. Rosalea watched as the woman whispered to the air, and water formed in a bowl shape near Genya’s hands, but not quite touching them. Fen’s tail wagged happily as she had a long drink.
“I did not know you had magic,” Rosalea said softly as Lio slowly relaxed and became a little limp and sleepy against her shoulder.
“It isn’t like yours. Ya got us a terribly long way on your magic,” Genya explained. “Clean outta the valley and inta the mountains. Still, I can do a little. How is your arm? Your hands?”
Rosalea looked down at her arm, where she could see bloody marks in her dress sleeve. “Hurts. What happened?”
“Each time ya collapsed from overspendin’ your magic, Fen was really after ya ta get back up.” Genya finished her bowl. Rosalea carefully handed Lio over, which caused the baby to fuss, but as the maid did the proper soothing noises and movements, Lio settled again.
Rosalea looked to Fen. The wolf turned an ear back toward her. “We should not have the same problem again. The Ieshans thought you could not escape because some of them were working hard to project plenty of mental interference to keep you and I apart. Also, you seem like you remember how to use deep magics, but in a rough fashion. I attribute that training… to the dragon.”
“Dragon?” Rosalea said aloud. Genya looked up, her eyes showing a lot of uncertainty.
Fen continued, “We have to get somewhere safe,” standing and giving Genya an appreciative, almost reassuring nuzzle. Rosalea felt warmth toward the maid that she realized was from Fen to Genya. Rosalea looked more closely at the wolf, and even in the dim light of the enclosed trees, she realized she really looked awful. Her fur was clumpy and had no sheen, and her skin hung off of angular looking bones. “The mark on your hand, that was from a dragon.”
Rosalea looked down at her palm; she had contemplated the mark many times. For Genya’s benefit, Rosalea spoke aloud, “Ulric told me this mark was from the Uryans. I wondered about that many times, because I felt they would read and speak and write the same languages that we do. This looks like something else.” She showed Genya as Genya leaned in to look. “You are saying that this mark came from a dragon?”
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“Yes, Uryans use the same language that Ieshans and even Myraduilians use.” Fen confirmed. “The last thing you did before the Ieshans caught us and took away your memories, was reach out to the dragon for help.”
Rosalea looked at Genya, “Ieshans took my memories?” she repeated.
Genya rocked Lio a bit, and Rosalea could see the discomfort in her face. “Yes. You and I knew each other a few years ago. When your mother died, I took care of you. You do not remember. You used to know magic, how to navigate politics, how to hunt… all kinds of things. They took it away because you escaped before.”
Rosalea frowned. But I still know some things based on instincts.
Fen answered her unspoken thought, as if she could hear it, “Ieshan mind magic works best when the person wielding it knows the extent of an idea inside of someone. If they know how they would know something, if they know how often they learned it, and then they can try to control each of those likely instances. In this case, they knew a lot about you, and so I am sure some skills will be lost until you learn them again or if the influence of the magic wears off.”
“If?” Rosalea breathed out softly.
Fen turned and put her nose against Rosalea’s forehead, breathing out slowly. “If.”
“What will we do?” Genya asked, not able to follow the mental exchanges between Rosalea and Fen.
Rosalea finished her food and hugged Fen close. Fen laid across Rosalea’s lap and Rosalea put her arms around the wolf’s neck. “I guess we go find this dragon,” Rosalea said.
Fen nodded.
Genya raised her brows. “But… I always heard dragons eat people and terrorize villages.”
“Fen says that I tried to get the dragon to help me when the Ieshans um, brought me back.” Rosalea was not sure how Genya felt toward them.
“That’s a nice way of puttin’ it, my little one,” Genya said as she reached forward and touched Rosalea’s cheek. “I always understood why ya ran, and truthfully, I hoped never ta see ya back. But… if we can get ta this dragon or wherever else safely with ya and little Lio here, then… I am grateful I’m along with ya. Ya can be blunt. They took me from my home a long time ago. I just had nowhere else ta be.”
Rosalea’s eyebrows drew together as she listened. It is all so sad. She felt uncertain how to react. The woman had said that she had raised her. It made all those pained looks make sense every time Rosalea clearly did not recognize her. It didn’t change the fact that Rosalea still didn’t remember, and it felt a little odd now to be called someone’s little one when she was so empty inside. “Maybe you can tell me about it a little,” she said. “What I was like back then?”
The look of gratitude that she received from Genya made her feel good, but even that look was not without pain. She could only imagine that it must hurt to be forgotten like this. Rosalea certainly felt awkward about it all. “I’d love ta, But first, what direction are we headin’?” she asked.
“We will start by going south. That will get us out of Ieshan territory somewhat. The further we can get from them, the better.”
“South,” Rosalea relayed to Genya. She pushed on Fen to get the wolf back out of her lap. “First, I think I should look at these and use those bandages.”
Genya agreed, and they rinsed the shallow wolf bite on her forearm and her calf, applied the salve provided by Mysteera, and bandaged them to keep the salve on. Rosalea washed off her blisters. Genya helped her make a sling for Lio, and they crawled out from the trees.
They uncurled as soon as they were out; everything about the place looked like it had never existed. The only hint was that the trees had a round open space, but it did not look that out of place.
Another person I do not know who is. She looked to Fen, but got an impression of being almost blocked by the liana, like she was looking for information she should not know. Rosalea trusted Fen and decided not to think about it too much. There was a lot going on that pulled on her focus.
They began walking south, once Genya helped her remember how to tell directions based on sun and time of day. Then, after a little silence, Genya spoke. “You were almost fourteen then. You are a little over seventeen now.” Rosalea looked down at Lio and felt like she was a little too young to be a mother. Genya talked about how she had enjoyed being outside when she was young, and how she got along with Nerric, and things she had done to show she was very smart…
I almost feel like she is talking about someone else. I feel like if it happened to me, it should sound familiar, but I simply cannot remember any of it. Genya showed how angry she felt as she talked about Nashota’s plan to have Rosalea killed. Then she veered off into another angry tangent, “You know, Nerric an’ ya were supposed ta be married, but he never even knew ya were in the fort. They manipulated him, he thought he was only there ta help establish an outpost for the Iehsans ta better secure supplies. They sent him away before he could find out about little Lio.”
Rosalea suspected as much, but she was a little surprised when Genya edged closer and wrapped her arms around her. It was awkward, but a nice awkward. More to respect Genya’s feelings and to show her gratitude than anything else, Rosalea leaned into the embrace. She felt little splashes of wetness in her hair, and she realized they were tears. She began crying herself after a moment. Inch by inch, the situation sunk in; how horrible it all was. The calm, muffled sensation that had pressed down over her feelings faded away.
We were friends, and they erased it. We were to be married. Maybe we loved each other. And they did this to us. He did not even know I was there? They ruined everything! What has been done to me? How long have I been placidly letting this happen? I forgot someone who was basically my mother. I forgot my real mother. I forgot everything. It was like the first time her feelings were coming alive. She remembered now, every time someone had come into the room, they had touched her, and she had felt a little different afterwards. Any time she got agitated, Ulric or Nashota had come and calmed her. All it had taken was a touch, usually to her cheek.
She moaned deep in her throat. They were no longer walking; she was just pressing to Genya, who also cried and made little ragged noises, rocking them a little, clinging to her. Fen whimpered and sidled up to Rosalea, pressing against her legs as she tried to soothe. “We were both caged, but it will be fine. We are free now. You will be better eventually. We just have to get to where it is safe. It will work out, I promise.”
Rosalea swallowed and tried to calm herself. Genya was also whispering that it would be all right. She was also saying sorry, so sorry she couldn’t do something about it before. Rosalea pushed away and looked at Genya’s face a moment. She saw a look that was filled with pain and hatred.
Rosalea looked down at Lio for a moment. What had it been like to be Genya? If Genya really was like her mother, then what would it be like to watch her child go through things like this? Rosalea looked at Lio and thought she would kill people over it. Rosalea hugged Genya again. “Thank you,” she whispered. “I will be fine.”
She meant it. Genya had risked her life to save them. Ieshans had underestimated her, so she had been able to overpower them and run away a second time. Lio deserved a good life, despite what had happened to bring her into the world. The only thing to do with all this pain, Rosalea felt, was to defy Ieshans and make a life for herself anyway. She hugged Lio possessively. You will never fall into their hands. I will never let them do this to you. Never.
Fen nudged her. “We need to get moving again.”
Rosalea nodded. Genya held out a canteen after wiping her face, and she gratefully had something to drink. Rosalea wiped her own face on her sleeve. They walked again until nightfall.
Genya held up a light, and Fen spent some time walking Rosalea through how each of her magics could work. Life to interact with plants. Life is bronze in my river, but the deeper layers are white, red, more bronze, green, she repeated to herself as they walked. Red is my Ieshan mind magic and also the same thing that will allow me to talk to animals. Green is my connection to plants. White allows me to heal, but healers cannot heal themselves. I can help Genya or Lio if something happens though. The bronze magic lets me shape change and hear Fen as an extension of myself.
She worked to commit her imber magic, with its temperature and ability to capture light. Caelus magic, which could also somewhat sense temperature, but was what she used to “harden” air and add pressure to it.
Deep magic that let her do barriers and use all her magic in a raw way. She needed practice with that so she would not get burned again.
Genya ran out of magic, and they were both feeling worn out. With Fen’s guidance, she used her magic to feel around for an animal. After a moment, she found an owl. “Are any Ieshans nearby? Or looking for us?”
The answer was slow for her, and a little different than it felt talking to Fen. In some ways, Fen was feeling like a second part of herself, and this felt completely separate. “No half humans have been here in some time.”
She gave side eyes to Fen, who clarified that half-humans were Ieshans. Rosalea breathed in and then out slowly, “Is it possible for you to tell them we were not here if they ask you?”
“Because you are a forest child, I will help in this manner,” the answer came back. “I will warn you if I see any while you rest.”
Rosalea looked to Fen to clarify “forest child” but there was no answer from the liana. She walked with Genya until they found a tree that seemed pretty large, and they settled by the base of it.
Genya pulled jerky and dried fruit from the pack, and they shared them with the canteen. Lio had spent most the day sleeping, and she was fairly lively at the moment, so Rosalea and Genya took turns talking to her, letting her hang onto and shake bits of food or hair, and taste the dehydrated fruit when it was in tiny pieces.
Fen sat near Rosalea, “I am your liana, and one thing that came with me is your wolf form. If you can reach it again, then you will be able to take on a shape that can keep yourself warm, and help keep Genya and Lio warm.” Rosalea nodded, that made sense to her. “Now, you can reach your form through your magic, just like using the magic you have been so far, except you are applying it to yourself. The form will feel scary at first, and if you had your memory, you would know that it is perfectly safe. Since you do not, you will just have to trust me it will be safe.”
Fen was watching her. Rosalea didn’t know exactly what she should say or do. First, she explained to Genya that she wanted to try for wolf shape to keep everyone warm. Genya also agreed that was a good idea. Rosalea breathed in slowly, and out slowly, I am ready. She focused on her magic. The more she had used it, the more comfortable she had become, even though most of it was just walking through the day and studying it. Inside of my bronze magic, there is a wolf.
After a moment of focusing, it started to come. Fen had been right; it was scary. She could feel it speeding through her, rearranging her limbs, her body, warping it. She tried not to fight it; Fen had told her she just had to believe it would be safe.
A moment later, it was over. Rosalea blinked, the world seemed a little easier to see in the weak light, and she could smell a lot of things she didn’t recognize before.
Fen was quiet. “I am impressed,” she offered at last. “I really did not think it would be so simple for you. You have greatly changed.”
Rosalea was confused as she practiced walking with four legs. “What do you mean?”
“It is just that before, you were a great deal more stubborn and so much less trusting.”
Rosalea breathed out slowly. “Just logically, if the Ieshans treated me how they treated me now, it makes sense. You and Genya are almost the only things I know. I trust you. I would be dead, and I might not have fought back if you two had not come for me.” Rosalea sat down near Genya, looking at Lio’s curious and confused little face, waiting to see if her baby would cry. Instead Lio grabbed a fist full of the fluff on her face and yanked it pretty hard. “She is obviously fine then,” Rosalea thought as she let Genya rescue her from the baby fist.
Fen sat down on the other side of Genya, “That much of you is the same. You try hard to be very practical. I am impressed that you found a direction to put your pain so quickly.”
Rosalea breathed out slowly. “Maybe I was good at it before, but they did not know.” She laid down near Genya and closed her eyes. Truthfully, if she did not have a direction to put all the pain of all the loss and invasion of her body and mind, she felt she would just have to give in and die.
But she did not want to die. She wanted to live. So, she did the only thing she could think to do.
Genya fell asleep against her, and Rosalea fell asleep a little while after that. It was nice to sleep all piled all together.