Rosalea put her hand to her belly. It had been swelling lately. She couldn’t remember how it happened, even though she understood what had happened. When she stood up slowly, she could feel the thing growing inside her squirm a little. She moved to the window, looking down on the courtyard where men were training. She saw a young man there; his hair always stood out to her, because it was golden-colored instead of dark. He had intensely bright blue eyes, and she thought his name was Nerric.

When he was training, he seemed so bright and vibrant. When he was near her, his face was blank, and his eyes were hollow. Even so, she felt that he should be familiar to her somehow, and that she liked him. She could not remember. It was as blank to her as the events that had culminated in a small thing growing inside of her. Somehow, she felt a surety that Nerric was its father. They weren’t really allowed to talk, and so she was never really certain. Even so, she thought he looked a little handsome as he came at the Ieshan sparring with him with strength and speed that disarmed his opponent.

She couldn’t remember how it happened, and she wondered if he knew it had happened at all.

She looked down at her hands, turning them palms up. There was a slash across her left that had a savage-looking scar with stitch markings. On her right, there was a blue circle with strange writing and symbols. Sometimes, it would feel warm and glow. When she asked Ulric about it, he said that it was a mark the Uryans had placed on her right before she lost her memories. He said that they had attacked the castle and stolen her from her place a while ago. That he and a band of Ieshans had valiantly gone after her, and they had been able to defeat the Uryans and save her. When it glowed, it was Uryans, looking for her.

The story made her feel odd, as if there was something off, or the way he told it was off somehow. She looked back down at Nerric, watching him take his next opponent on. Everything here feels hollow and not right, she confessed to herself.

She felt a flash, like a snarl, in her brain. She didn’t know where these images of a golden-brown wolf came from either. The wolf was always angry, though. She was always pacing, and she was always chained. Rosalea felt very sorry for it, except Ulric said that she wasn’t real.

She put her hand to her forehead until the sound and the sensation had faded away.

There was a knock at the door. “Princess?”

“Come in,” Rosalea said.

She didn’t remember ever being a princess. Ulric said he was sorry for that. She had been a truly great princess. He said that everyone hoped she would recover from the injuries the Uryans caused her, so she could rule again. There was something not right about his eyes when he said that, but Rosalea didn’t know what. Things always felt not quite right. It was hard to explain. Ulric would remind her, when she looked worried or confused, when he saw she felt it was off somehow, that she had been terribly hurt and about to have a baby. He also promised that she would start to understand and feel better one day.

She turned to look as the door opened. She didn’t expect Master Ulric; the voice that had called her had been female. A woman walked in; she looked different from Ulric and those that she identified as Ieshans. Nerric stood out because he looked like light to her, his hair all golden and his skin so white, like her own. The Ieshans had brown-tan skin, but this woman’s skin was very dark. Her hair was also thick and curly. The clothes she wore marked her as a maid.

The maid slowly bowed to her, watching her. “Princess, I have been permitted ta serve ya from time ta time… can I get ya anything?”

The woman was searching her face, almost frantically. Rosalea had nothing to offer in it, except confusion and emptiness. “What is your name?” Rosalea asked her.

The woman tried to cover a wince. She bowed again, “I am Genya.”

Rosalea watched the woman’s eyes get glassy, and she reasoned this must have been someone she knew before. She felt sad that it hurt the woman not to be remembered, but Rosalea could not remember anything. She tried to smile: no one should cry for her. “I am pleased to meet you, Genya. I hope I shall continue to see you, and I thank you for your service.”

The woman nearly winced again. She bowed, left Rosalea some tea, and excused herself. Rosalea sat down, feeling very dissatisfied. Who was this? What did she say wrong? Yet, even though she had tried to act the way she thought she should act, it had obviously caused some sort of pain. I cannot figure out why that should be… unless I was different somehow? But Ulric said I was always this way, always polite, always kind to everyone. Was she only about to cry because of something else? I am so confused and lost all of the time… Maybe if she comes back, I can do better.

***

Kaylar could not leave it alone in the end. He checked on Rosalea now and then, and she was always in the fort. I suspect they do not know how to get my spell off of her, or are not strong enough to remove it. If they know what it is for, then I suspect they will not dare move her while they think I might notice. So, I will keep activating her brand and looking for her.

He paced back and forth through the snow outside the castle. Rhainnon had been nearly inconsolable for weeks that she had lost her friend like this, and she and Yelena fought so non-stop he was careful to keep them separate. He did not blame Yelena for feeling a certain amount of smugness about Rosalea being foiled in her escape attempts based on what had happened to Yelena, but at the same time, he did not like her attitude much more than Rhainnon did.

If they do not dare move her, I cannot imagine that they want to make that outpost a permanent structure. It would mean one of two things, he supposed. Either they would move her when they thought he was complacent or they would get what they needed from Rosalea and discard her.

There are two things that I can do about this. First, I will clear Ieshans out of the forests surrounding the manor. I will train patrols. They are not having Rhainnon. He looked up at the gathering clouds, promising to dump even more snow on them. And in the spring, I will militarize Mire and flatten that outpost. It would give him time to explain to the council the wrongs done by the Ieshans to him, and it would be a fair reaction in the eyes of his peers. Uryans and Ieshans might be God-favored, but Dragons are second only to the Gods.

When Rhainnon’s liana called months after Rosalea had been gone, Kaylar lingered and monitored closely with his magic. He didn’t like to think about what would happen to her if any Ieshans caught her. He was a little surprised that the girl with Rhainnon’s gentle disposition ended up with a mountain lion for a companion, and he knew it would take the sheep and goats a long time to get used to a creature as fearsome as that. Rhainnon, once she had spent a few days with the cat, turned and walked herself back to the shepherd’s field. She encountered no Ieshans.

After that, Kaylar flew over the fort just to see what might be there. The gryphon didn’t happen to be there or to interact with him. The place was thick with guards and mages though, to the point that the fort had overflowed to surrounding makeshift rough terra-built addons and lean-tos all over the place.

Perhaps they were frightened of him coming to deal with them. It was a valid fear. If they were still here in a year, he knew he could have enough forces rallied and trained to overcome even the best offense the Ieshans could offer. His carefully curated across generations humans would be more than a match for these life-magic monsters.

***

She could barely walk with how large her belly felt now. She felt overfull, like she could not take on any more mass, and like she could not bend over, or hardly move. She felt too big for her legs. Genya returned several times, but each time she seemed depressed, and yet, for some reason, she kept coming back. She was never around long though, and Rosalea got a strange sense that this was because she was not allowed to be. Really, no one was around often except Ulric and councilman Nashota. They had even sent Nerric away, back to a place called Castle Darius. They said that after she had her little one and had recovered, she would get to leave also. At least, they said it was home, but she could not remember it. Months had passed, and the whole world was foggy most of the time, and she didn’t make the slightest bit of progress remembering anything from the time before being here.

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It was lonely being by herself all the time though. She laid down as her back ached fiercely. I do not even know how old I am. I think I might be something like sixteen or seventeen, but I do not really know. I do not know how to ask anyone. I can remember nothing but here. Nowhere, no one, there is nothing in me but this short existence confined to this room… How can this be right?

***

Rhainnon watched for Rosalea, and she waited. She greeted every search party Kaylar sent out for patrols in the woods and waited for news. Always, it was the same… they did not know. Kaylar was often away these days. He said that he had a lot of council meetings. Sometimes, he came back, a little grumpy that they were not agreeing with him about something. Other days, he was focused on something going on with his towns.

Rhainnon began to despair. Rosalea will never return, she thought. They will never let her go. And if she gets away, why would she come back somewhere she wanted to get away from? If she escapes, she’ll just run away from everything.

She sighed. Kona walked up to her and head butted her leg softly. Rhainnon silently stroked the big cat behind her ears, which made them both feel a little better. I guess there is nothing to do but give up and move on myself. Rhainnon turned her back on the woods, moving away from where she usually met the search parties.

Kona chirped at her softly and pulled on the hem of her dress with her teeth. Rhainnon sighed and kept walking anyway. “When you act like that, it makes me feel like you think she is coming back, but you said you do not know the future.”

“She is still your friend.”

Rhainnon sighed. “I just cannot keep feeling like this. It tears me up inside every time they come back, and there is nothing, no news, no hope.”

Kona huffed at her and turned and finally followed her. Rhainnon knew that Kona was sad because she was, but she did not know why it mattered to the large cat that she did not give up. She wondered what Kona knew that she was not telling her.

Rhainnon glanced at the sun. “I guess it is time to deal with that… woman.”

Kona sighed and flattened her ears. Rhainnon shrugged and walked herself back to the shepherd’s fields, showing up ten minutes late for the time she was to meet Yelena. Kaylar had recently placed Yelena in charge of all the animal fields because of her being able to speak directly to the animals and showing a skill for keeping track of numbers. She also had to stay and check in with the animals because Kaylar wanted her to always be sure that she was the only Ieshan around, and that their animals and the nearby forest animals were not talking to secret Ieshans.

Rhainnon had never gotten over hating Yelena since she had taken the attitude that Rosalea had gotten what she deserved: a runaway princess had no place except to be brought back to the people. All the arguments after that had not made it better. Yelena just didn’t quite see Rosalea as a person the way Rhainnon did.

Rhainnon understood why Yelena’s work was important. It was obviously how Rosalea had been captured. She was even committed to keeping everyone else safe; Kaylar needed her specific help since he could not be home often. It was just that Yelena clearly held the opinion that Rosalea got what she deserved. Therefore, Rhainnon hated her so much it was suffocating to be around her.

Yelena was hassling one of Rhainnon’s workers about the state of some section of fence as Rhainnon walked up. Yelena’s magic that reached out to the animals around her felt disruptive to her bond with Kona as she got nearer. Rhainnon ignored it, but she placed her hand on Kona’s shoulder. “I will manage the state of my own affairs,” Rhainnon cut in with her best attempt at a restrained tone.

Yelena’s eyes flashed. “They are not really your affairs, Uryan.” Rhainnon clenched a bit of fur on Kona’s rough and struggled to keep her temper. “These sheep belong to Master Kaylar, and he has entrusted you to watch over them closely.”

Rhainnon bowed rigidly to the Ieshan. “I have this week’s numbers,” she said softly, wishing that each word could stab Yelena in the eye.

Yelena huffed. Rhainnon straightened, irritated that her bow was not returned, and handed over a small sheet of paper confirming that basically everything was the same, and they needed only a normal allotment of straw for the barn. Yelena scanned it closely and cocked an eyebrow at Rhainnon. Rhainnon remained stony-faced and waited for the Ieshan to accept the numbers or criticize them. Yelena shrugged finally and turned to walk away, heading to whichever field was next. Rhainnon hung on to Kona and willed herself to breathe normally.

***

Rosalea thought she was going to die. The pain was too intense. The being inside her was going to kill her on its way out. She cried and whimpered and struggled to follow directions. Genya hovered and held her hand, no matter how hard Rosalea squeezed it. The maid tried to soothe her with gentle words and wiped her sweaty body with a cool damp cloth.

Rosalea screamed and the pain still did not want to stop. It was almost more than she could bear…

And finally it was over. There was a weak, whimpering cry, then almost silence. A frowning midwife put a small, lumpy, mostly still wet creature in Rosalea’s arms. Rosalea looked at it, and saw that it was growing stiller and stiller by the moment. She looked up at the midwife who shook her head. “I am sorry; I do not think she will make it, dear. She’s fading; she was hard to get to come because she is so weak.”

The child was no longer moving, and she was barely breathing. Rosalea felt tears coming. After all this time, after all this waiting, after all that pain, the baby was simply going to die?

No. You will live. Please live. Rosalea thought, squeezing the fragile body just a little closer. Somewhere, she knew what to do. She knew she had magic, but she barely used it. Genya said that she had once known how to use it, but here she had not had cause to do so. Ulric had told her many times that it was dangerous. Yet, as every ounce of her being willed life back into her little one, the world around her slipped away.

This seems like it is familiar, she thought as she was overlooking a world with a white river and a lot of interesting plants going all around. I must have done it before. Somewhere inside my broken head, I know what I am doing.

She was conscious only of this white river and the dying infant in her arms. It had been lively a little while ago; it had been kicking her and shifting around in her body. You were so lively before the pain started; you think you can just hurt me like this and disappear? She felt adamant that she was simply not going to allow this to happen. She had all this healing magic.

She directed the whole of the white river into the small body in her arms. She was going to save her little one; it did not matter if every drop of her magic was required.

The river reacted immediately, the endless depths of it pouring into her darkened infant, as if neither the child nor the river had a bottom.

Then, steadily, the river began to decrease in size, it was shallower, and it had less width. But she did not care. She continued, she was hanging onto her little girl with every thread she could.

***

“If you do not stop,” Silver yelled from his cell, getting up and rattling all the chains on his arms and legs as he put all his lung capacity into screaming at his brother, “This whole experiment will be pointless because she is going to die!” He was shouting it to the air, not even sure that his brother was around to hear him.

The many-colored featureless monster appeared in his doorway. “I see that.”

“You want to throw away the effort we have put in so far?” Silver demanded angrily. “Because ‌she is going to use every drop of magic in her body if she thinks it will save her child.”

There was no expression on the Nearly One Being’s face. “No shimmers. You and I agreed that there would be no shimmers.”

Silver scowled. “There are a hundred ways we can be sure she doesn’t start a whole race of shimmers, and none of them require ruining my plans or killing an infant.”

“You probably would have let me kill those Ieshans instead of having her captured. You were definitely upset with Fen for letting that happen.”

Silver raised his arm, but the manacles on it clinked, reminding him of the position he was in. He put it down and tried to be rational, “Then, it is proof that you need me to help keep control of the world. If you do not cooperate with me, how much longer do you think it will be before you and I are mended?” Silver folded his arms.

“I see your point, and I accept it.”

***

Rosalea was feeling weaker every moment. The drain would not stop, but neither would she. Suddenly it did stop, and she struggled to stop pouring magic into the child.

“If you will be stubborn,” a voice that sounded like many voices roared in her head. She threw her hands up to cover her ears; the baby slid down into her lap and began screaming in a very healthy fashion. “Know that there shall be a price.”

Rosalea’s eyes watered, and it surprised her that her ears did not bleed. She trembled and laid back, glad to feel the voice recede. She felt so weak and wasted. She could barely stay awake. The midwife moved forward and looked very surprised. “She’s come out of it! Princess, look, your baby is fine!”

Rosalea weakly held her arms out, and cradled the child near her to feed it. She fell asleep like that.

***

Kaylar sighed. He had finally gotten council approval, but winter was determined to come early this year. The Ieshans had not tried to move Rosalea, but he would check on her now and then in the middle of the night, and each time it was the same location. Rhainnon and Yelena were fighting worse, so he separated them and decided he would focus on home for the winter. He doubted the Ieshans themselves would want to move all those troops in the snow.

Hopefully, an early winter means an early spring.