Kaylar found Rhainnon waiting for him at the barn, and her emotions were strong, and she was ranting internally about Rosalea. None of that seems good, he thought as he landed. He did not say anything, just moved up to her and gently pushed his nose up to her chest. She made a distressed noise and wrapped both her arms around him.

He slowly lowered himself down on his belly, using his nose to scoot her toward his chest, and then scooping her close with a paw as she began to cry. “What happened?” he prompted as he pressed her gently close.

Rhainnon could not answer him right away, so he just held her. He made a barrier against the wind and to trap warm air around them since it was due to snow at basically any time now. “I think… Rosalea wants to… to…” but she could not get herself to day the word “die.”

“What makes you think that she has given up?” Kaylar asked diplomatically. He had begun to worry that Rhainnon was getting too frustrated with Rosalea based on their conversations.

“She does not eat. She says you will not give her what she wants. She wants her magic seal off. She… she must have poisoned herself in Mire. She was really… upset about the spell,” Rhainnon managed between broken tones and squeaks.

I can see how you would think that since she lied to you about how she got poisoned. It was also true that she had thrown a bit of a fit about being captured. Kaylar had been there to witness that much. “So you think she cannot handle not… being free?” Kaylar asked carefully.

Rhainnon nodded.

Kaylar hmmed. “I do not think… she is probably trying to give up. I do think that she is having a hard time adjusting, and I do think something is wrong though. Do you think you could try to focus on being just a good friend to her?”

Rhainnon closed her eyes. But I am trying to be a good friend to her. I am trying to get her to trust me, to open up to me, to tell me the truth. But she won’t. “I will try,” was what Rhainnon said out loud.

That pretty much guarantees a fight, Kaylar thought, but he hoped not. Sometimes people did not do what they thought. “Even though you were sick, she was extremely happy to see you. I could see it very clearly, and she was willing to dedicate every last drop of magic she had to help you. I know she is difficult, but I hope you will not forget that you both have a strong bond.” It is perhaps the only nice thing about having her here in some ways, he thought with a small huff.

Rhainnon nodded, and he felt her relax a little against his chest. “Can we take her magic seal off and see if she feels better?”

“I will talk to her,” Kaylar said.

Kaylar walked with a mostly soothed Rhainnon back to her home, and he entered with her, but they both saw Rosalea was asleep. “Tomorrow though,” he said softly to Rhainnon who nodded. She gave him one last hug over his nose.

“Thank you,” she whispered. He quietly retreated, and Rhainnon went to bed. He waited; there were no emotional outbursts. Kaylar supposed it was hard to be a teenager for most humans. It does feel like Rosalea adds complicating factors, however, with whatever damage she is bringing. He returned home, deciding that he would get everything else he needed to do resolved by as early as possible so he could spend the night out here tomorrow.

***

Rosalea was exhausted well before noon. She shakily returned to her room and laid down. She felt like she was being eaten up from the inside out. The room spun until she got her strength back. Sometimes I feel like things always go a little strangely for me, she thought as she laid there with her eyes shut to attempt to block out some of the dizziness. The lady who brought me food in Mire; the liana looking out for me, and then ending up here suffering in a way that does not quite make sense.

Ulric had always said mages could last for as long as they held their power in reserve. He had mentioned nothing about consequences for not using magic, and yet Rosalea felt like that internal river of magic within her was overflowing everywhere and burning everything. Did people even generate more magic than what they were capable of holding if they did not use it?

Maybe it is because the dragon had burned me when he gave me some of his magic. She liked that idea a little better than the notion it had always been like that, but she had never been locked in her own skin and was now paying for it. She closed her eyes again, and tried to think about reaching her magical world, but she could not. It meant she could not even see the seals on herself to even try to get them off.

I am getting tired in a way that makes me not even care anymore about any of this, she thought, and laid with her eyes closed until she dozed.

***

Rhainnon returned that evening. Rosalea had managed to get dinner going and was lying down again. Rhainnon sat on the bed. Rosalea sat up. “I talked with Kaylar about removing the blocks.”

“He said no?” Rosalea responded, seeing how tense her expression was.

Rhainnon shook her head, “He did not say yes. He said he wanted to talk to you soon about it.”

Rosalea sighed, got up, and began dishing dinner up for the both of them. No part of me has the energy to deal with that monster today. She could not find words for Rhainnon, so she just said nothing else. However, her heavy sigh had already provoked her friend.

“Rosalea, why are you like this? Why can’t you just accept your situation? Why can’t you see that it is even good? Why are you doing this to yourself?”

Rosalea slammed her dish down. She said nothing. Despite how tired she felt, she felt her rage flare up. Not at the dragon now, but at Rhainnon. After a moment, she realized it was even more at the dragon than ever. He put her in the position to get trapped in Mire, which made her lose Annie, hurt Haidi, and got her poisoned. Then, he burned her magic and locked her into herself and restricted where she could go. What was she supposed to tell Rhainnon? Yes, the mother you call now by her first name and seem distant from? Well, she loves you so much that losing you made her into a murderer. I do not even have parents to love me as much as yours do, and now you accuse of me things I am not doing because … why? The dragon seems nice to you? She trembled all over with rage.

“Rosalea.” Rosalea slowly looked at her. She was a little whiter than normal now. Rosalea realized she had probably never expressed anger in a way that Rhainnon could see it, and now her friend was trembling with anxiety. “You have to stop going on like this.” Rosalea took a deep breath, and managed to make herself remain silent for another moment. She had never, in all her life, felt so tempted to scream at Rhainnon. Yet, she understood that Rhainnon was actually really worried, and it helped her hold her tongue and work to find something else to do and say. But then she said, “He has your best interests at heart.”

“You think that a dragon who took you away from your family has your best interests at heart?” Rosalea kept her voice low, squashing the emotion out of it as best as she could, but it still came back flat and hostile.

Rhainnon was taken aback. “If that is all it is about –”

“Perhaps you should ask yourself,” Rosalea cut in coldly, not able to listen to an excuse about this, “whose friend you really are. Are you this dragon’s or are you mine?”

Rhainnon’s eyes flashed with rage as her face hardened. “I can’t be both?”

“You have been on his side along. From the moment I got here.”

“You’re killing yourself. What else could I do?”

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Rosalea opened her mouth, but saw the hurt and angry look on Rhainnon’s face, and felt like a fool. She moved to the door. “I am going for a walk, Rhainnon.”

“Fine. Whatever you want.”

Rhainnon looked away as Rosalea walked out. Rosalea had a feeling that both of them knew they had said stupid things.

Rosalea walked toward the barn. She sighed. Poor Rhainnon can’t know… so much. Tears, which had refused to come before, began to tamper with her vision as she walked into the barn and shut the door. She looked around for something to do, and found a stall that could vaguely use cleaning, but which could certainly have waited at least a day more. It was good enough for Rosalea for now.

The tears felt hot, hot even to her heated skin. They burned because the pain behind them was so great. She trembled with it. There was no way she could see to talk about any of the things that had happened without hurting her friend. How could she tell her how grim and reticent Ian had been? Let alone about Haidi’s rage or the murder of Annie. Is there even a way to talk to you about the dragon that is smothering me slowly to death? Should I even? What would happen to you if you felt like I do toward him?

Rosalea’s instincts told her to keep all these terrible things to herself and protect Rhainnon. It made it even more painful that without these truths, Rhainnon did not understand what was actually happening, and now believed Rosalea to be doing all this to herself. What even would be my motivation for something like that?

Just thinking about how Rhainnon thought about her made big tears swim through her vision. She tried not to make any noise, but there was pressure in her chest to just sob and wail. Tears splattered all over the front of the pale blue dress she was wearing. Rosalea knew she was really just stirring straw around with the pitchfork, and not really accomplishing anything. She couldn’t see well enough for it to be otherwise.

There was a knock at the door. Rosalea blinked her tears away, and shoveled viciously at a pile of straw. “Go away, Rhainnon. I am not coming back yet.”

She heard a grating noise, and her heart sank into her stomach. That was not the small door opening. She turned slowly and watched the dragon enter. “I am afraid I am not Rhainnon.”

She slowly bowed to him.

***

Look, Lady Ice cries, he thought noting the little tear stains. He did not think he had ever seen her cry, no matter how potent her feelings had gotten before. She was still, silent, frozen as she always was when he neared.

***

Rosalea stared at the barn floor. She had completely forgotten that he would be coming to look for her. She hoped he would leave. However, to her horror, she saw him settling in, folding his wings in, tucking his front feet against his body, looking rather like a cat. She might have smiled in another world at the ridiculous notion of a dragon sitting like a giant loaf on the ground.

“Do not tell me that I work you so hard out here, that some of you must stay up at night,” Kaylar said after a moment.

“No, sir.”

“Since you thought I was Rhainnon, and you asked her to go away, am I to assume that you two had an argument?”

Rosalea was silent. He stared at her. “Yes, sir.”

***

All the use of sir. All the tone she manages to put on that word that makes me feel the disrespect she would like to show, even though she is scared of me. Kaylar put aside his annoyance at her clever training in manners to belittle someone who was her superior, and focused on what was actually relevant in this situation. “What could cause you two to fight?”

I cannot – she faltered. She closed her eyes tight and looked even more frozen than ever. “I – I am not sure how to answer your question.”

In other words, thought Kaylar. You can’t tell me because it was over me. I was concerned it would come to this. Rosalea was trembling. He could feel her emotions surging back and forth, something between hatred for him and anger at herself. “I must insist you tell me.”

She kept her eyes tightly closed and then shook her head no.

Kaylar sighed. “I could take it from you, if you do not tell me. You know that I can.”

She became much stiffer, her whole body tense. Her lips trembled, and she kept her eyes tightly shut and shook her head. Sheer desperation overpowered every other emotion she felt. Kaylar was amazed at the intensity of the emotion. Amazed that she was so interested that he not know. Wait… perhaps it is not merely the guarding of the knowledge as it is defending her right to her own mind? She came from the Ieshans, has some other mind mage left a mark on her?

That idea made more sense to him. It also made him think twice about how she knew he could hear her thoughts almost instantly. What did that mean about her past? He remembered his surprise that someone like her had even gotten away from the Ieshans at all. “I think I see. I suppose you do not have to tell me; I will refrain from forcing it.” He was gratified that she relaxed minutely, though it was clear she did not quite trust him to keep his word. “Instead, I will guess that the reason you will not tell me is that the fight was about me.” She shook her head in a helpless no, her eyes still closed. She was so pained being near him, being quizzed like this, and him finding the answers despite all she could to keep them to herself.

“No? Do me the kindness of not lying to me, Rosalea.” he said quietly. “I know the lies you have told Rhainnon have been to protect her feelings. It interests me that the only benefit of this particular lie would be to protect… me?” She opened her eyes, startled. He was pleased at the response. “Or did you imagine that I would be angry that a quarrel happened for which I was the cause? That I would somehow take it out on you or Rhainnon?”

She trembled. There was a pleasant transformation in her feelings, not fear, not hatred, not even anger. Confusion. An emotion he had a chance to work with. “This has to be one of the more uninteresting conversations I have ever had,” he said after a moment. “All I hear is myself.”

A spike of anger. Not what he wanted. He wanted to point out to her how difficult she was making everything. How pointless it was for both of them to fight like this. He wanted to point out that he had no mercy for her death wishes. He sighed.

He watched her take an involuntary step back, reacting to the frustration she had detected in his sigh. She braced; he could see the slight cringe in her posture. Another element clicked into place, You’ve got an authority problem because someone, a parent, a leader, clearly beat you with some regularity.

It was not that Kaylar had not taken in people that had been abused, but he had never taken in someone that could hear him and hide it. Or someone that was so feral and angry about it. Mero had come to him from a poor family life, but she was sad, bending like a willow to adversity and looking for a way to grow even at a crooked angle. Rosalea had become hardened because she was unwilling to bend even to protect herself from pain.

“Rosalea, I am going to give you what you asked for and remove the seals from your magic.” It does feel a little like giving into a willful child after a long tantrum, but I think what I should try to do is give her more autonomy back. I do not think she is dangerous to anyone in particular. Except me, if she escapes with this attitude intact. He focused on his spell and adjusted it, pulling away the mental block to her spiritual world.

To his surprise, a thick magical aura immediately began spreading from every direction from her, filling the room. It was wildly out of control, and he reflexively put up a barrier.

***

Rosalea staggered. She felt dizzy and giddy all at once. She could have shouted for joy and cried out in pain at the same time. She came hard to her knees, and covered her eyes with her hands as the room instantly lit up at least ten times the brightness the lamps afforded. I feel relieved and sick, she thought as magic poured from her into the environment. The hard packed soil of the barn floor began to heat under the pressure and plants grew and sizzled in the heat. She did not like the sensation of growing them and killing them at once. The feeling of using both magic elements simultaneously felt wrong to her.

She felt herself completely losing control. She put her hands forward, against the earth, where her eyes could see the searing red spreading as heat from her hands. Deep calming breaths, she told herself, forgetting about the dragon, forgetting about anything except getting control of herself. She began to see the magical flow through her body. Harden the floor again, she spread her terra magic through the barn floor - when it struck against a barrier, she just pressed harder and right through it. The hard packed dirt groaned and took on a crystallized look from her magic pressing into it and changing it.

It settled her terra magic. She pressed now through the air, catching the moisture with her imber magic and filling all the troughs she could see. She pressurized the air, bringing the temperature up a lot. The blinding quality in the air slowly dimmed beneath all the the red.

Seeds in the hay sprouted, growing fresh stalks of alfalfa that brought a lot of noises of approval from the animals around her, and finally, Rosalea felt actually better. When she sat back on her knees, her hand prints were molten still on the floor. She flushed with embarrassment.

“I wonder… if I burned you and caused this,” the dragon was saying, and he had his head tilted, staring at her intensely. “Were you really just going to patiently wait and do nothing and die without saying anything?”

Rosalea looked away from him, unable to look at him when he asked a question like that with that sort of tone in his voice. I did say something to Rhainnon, but you told…

She tensed. How many times was she planning on tempting fate?

***

Kaylar took a deep breath in, and then he carefully did not sigh and breathed out slowly. “You did say that, and she did tell me. I told her that I knew what I was doing, and it would protect you. She probably told you that, and you … thought I was… punishing you? Or worse?”

He watched her visibly cringe now, and he knew he had most of what he needed to reform her. He waited, but she did not answer him, she was frozen - not thinking, barely moving, hardly breathing. “I see. I might have thought the same in your position,” he said. Not even fully developed magic, and yet she is so strong. She bashed right through that barrier of mine like it was an inconvenience. And yet, so emotionally brittle. He could feel that she was confused now, but very much still frozen in place. She was still waiting for him to lash out at her and punish her.

I suppose it is time to make her cry some more. “You are okay. You did not do anything wrong. You are not in trouble. I am not angry at you. Everything is going to be all right.”

And, as he expected, that smallest bit of validation of her feelings summoned big tears and painful gasping breaths.