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The First Garden
Vol 2. Chapter 17

Vol 2. Chapter 17

For the longest time, I was lost. I didn’t know what to do after the war. Half my life I grew up in a home that only brought me sadness, and the other half I spent fighting for a cause that was greater than myself. I spent six hard years fighting, because I believed that fighting for a noble cause would once again give me hope.

It didn’t.

I prided myself on the fact that I had nothing to lose. I thought that was what made me strong, allowing myself to push further. But I pushed myself into the jaws of death, because I didn’t care. Not because I knew that I would come out unscathed, but it didn’t matter to me whether I came back or not. I knew that I was immortal, but sometimes I wished that I wasn’t.

I didn’t fear death, I embraced it.

I wondered about a lot of things as I walked up the castle stairs, answering Nobunaga’s summons once more. I had thought about it for the past week, and I had made up my mind. It wasn’t a matter of whether I would fight for Nobunaga again, but whether I could be a part of his goals anymore. I swore an oath that I would fight for him to save this country, an oath that I had fulfilled at the end of the war.

My duty was fulfilled. It was just like Kasumi said, I didn’t owe these people anymore.

I was to announce my resignation and departure from as one of his most trusted soldiers by the end of today.

So walking up the castle steps for what might be the last time felt strange. It wasn’t that I would never visit Delilah, Ivan and the others but Delilah was acting very strangely these past few weeks.

She has feelings for you.

Kasumi’s voice suddenly echoed through my head. I shook it off as nothing but a baseless theory, but somewhere at the back of my head it remained there, waiting for the next opportunity to ambush me.

Ivan and the others were… like me. I could tell that very similarly they had difficulty adapting to the current environment. Like me, they didn’t know what to do. Without a war, without a cause to fight for, they were obsolete, waiting for a battle that would never come. I didn’t belong with them, not anymore. I was no longer a social misfit that belonged nowhere.

As I walked up to Nobunaga’s room, I could hear them talking inside. Their voices were raised and louder than before, and by the tone of their voices it was a pretty serious conversation. I knocked before entering, and all eyes turned to me. The person whom I looked to was Delilah. She looked extremely disturbed and strangely unnerved. Something must have happened.

“You’re late,” Nobunaga greeted.

I took a seat across from Delilah. Her eyes didn’t meet mine but I could tell that she was looking at me, just not directly.

“So Magnus,” Nobunaga began. “I’ve come to a decision. One that will aim to move Visereal into a new direction.”

“I would hear you out, but I really have something to tell you before you brief me on this plan of yours,” I wanted to get it out of the way.

“No. Your conversation can wait,” Nobunaga dropped casually. “I will be declaring war on the kingdoms of Gwynveria, Oceania and Dragonfall in the years to come.”

I became completely silent, trying to process what he had just said.

“You… what?” I asked, making sure I heard correctly.

“You don’t sound very happy with the decision,” he didn’t sound surprised.

“What do you think?” my tone suddenly shifted. I had never argued with Nobunaga before. He allowed me to do as I pleased as long as I got the job done, he was the type of person that was more concerned with the results than the process. “And all of you agreed to this?” I looked around. Delilah didn’t look back at me, but she was tense as well. Everyone else seemed calm and acted normal.

“Ivan? Lucy? Eileen?” I called out. “You can’t be serious.”

Ivan didn’t even dare to look at me in the eyes. He knew that I was right, I could see it in his body language.

“We swore an oath to take back this country,” I shouted furiously. “We swore an oath to protect those that can’t fend for themselves. We have fulfilled that oath, starting another war will undo everything that we have fought for.”

“No,” Ivan turned even further away from me. “You swore an oath to duty, we swore an oath to loyalty. We swore fealty to Nobunaga. We swore that we would follow him to the edges of Elysium, to and beyond the grave. I intend to keep that oath.”

Lucy and Eileen said nothing, but looked down at the table. Whatever they had been l talking about before, they had already been convinced that this was the right choice.

“Give me and Magnus a moment,” Nobunaga motioned at everyone else. Delilah looked at me uncomfortably, wanting to say something. In the end she left the room with the others before she could utter a word.

“I want to speak with you,” Nobunaga still seemed very calm.

“Yeah me too,” I turned around to face him. “What the hell are you thinking?” I shouted. I had never been angry at Nobunaga before. Never before had I questioned his judgement, because I knew that whatever choice he made would be for the greater good, a consistent trait that I saw from years of fighting for him. Until now.

“We haven’t really been talking lately. It’s time that I reveal what I’ve been up to.”

“Speak. Fast,” I was fuming.

“After the end of the war, I sat down and began to plan for the future. How I planned to manage the kingdom, how I foresaw the future of the kingdom. Do you know what I predicted?”

“What?”

“We could sustain peace for a very long time. I would get married, preserve the bloodline. Continue the royal blood, be king until the end of my days. Until I became a frail old man, and succumbed to time.”

Everything sounded normal so far.

“But,” he began. “I also saw a different future. Tell me Magnus, do you really think that our fate ends here? Do you think that we were destined to save one kingdom, and nothing else? Our names will be etched down into the annals of history, recorded for all to remember and study. But eventually these books and letters will die out. Maybe the parchment will no longer be recognizable, unreadable, and at that moment the world will forget our names and faces, our deeds and our sacrifices. An inevitable demise, one that no king or queen will ever be able to avoid.”

“So what?” I was getting impatient.

“I don’t believe that our destiny ends here. There must be a different purpose we serve now. One even greater than the cause we once fought for. Imagine a world where humanity is united. Imagine the things that we could accomplish, the deeds we could fulfill. What if… all four kingdoms united under one crown. No race could ever face us. No monster would be our equal, for what we lack in strength we make up for in numbers.”

“So you choose war?” I snickered.

“The greater the sacrifice, the greater the peace,” he whispered. “Remember how many you stepped over to get ourselves to this position. Do you think that it would have been possible if you hadn’t done what you did?”

I didn’t say anything. He was right. Fear did a lot to make people submit.

“Ever since the First Divine War, we’ve been separated into four factions, each in the cardinal direction. Each centered around a monument of power, to consolidate their position in their world. All except for Visereal, who has nothing, no great monument, only a myth. But I don’t think it’s a myth. I’ve been reading all the recordings and writing left behind by the kings before me, and I’m beginning to think they were missing something. All the kings before the first became powerless. They had no inheritance apart from worldly possession. Nearly half a million years have passed since the founding of this kingdom. Do you really want to say that we’ve recorded every single moment of it?”

“Why does any of this matter?”

“Because we’re missing the whole point. Why do our kingdoms fall and rise? Through three hundred thousand years, why is our race the most volatile? Why do we succumb to monsters the most? Why are we always the weakest race to tread this world? We’ve passed many golden ages. But in three hundred thousand years, why have not had any significant changes? It’s because we’re divided. Through the history of the four kingdoms, what is the one thing that has remained the same?”

“The four rulers,” it clicked immediately.

“Exactly,” he smiled, glad to see that I could keep up with him. “The four original heroes that fought in the war against the demons, and their descendents have continued to rule as kings and queens of their corresponding nation. Three thousand generations, they have ruled. Well, except in Oceania, but still the blood of the four heroes still runs, even today. And their blood is never lost, unmistakably a quirk of fate. Even my presence and return to the throne signifies that no matter what, royal blood of some kind must be present at the thrones. When was the last time humanity made a significant impact on Elysium?”

“The First Divine War,” I whispered.

“Why did our ancestors call it the first?” Nobunaga smiled.

I began to realize what he was trying to understand.

“The First,” Nobunaga repeated. “But not the last.”

“You can’t be serious…” I said under my breath.

“The only time humanity changed the world was when we were united. When all four kingdoms were united under a common goal, a single war against a powerful enemy. If humanity is to be elevated once more and take its next step towards ascension, then I must repeat history. I must unite humanity once more, under a single banner to wage war on this world. Against the elves, the dwarves, vampires and the creatures of the night, faeries and creatures of the day, to challenge the heavens itself.”

“You want humans to rule this world?”

“I want humans to take the next step. I will initiate the Second Divine War, against the world itself.”

“This is insane…” I whispered.

“I expected you to understand,” Nobunaga frowned. “You of all people should know that in our current state, we will never achieve permanent greatness. We have been at war with the other kingdoms before. We have had conflicts, but never a fight to the death of another kingdom. These four kingdoms have been standing for far too long. I am not a cowardly king that fears change, I am not afraid of war. I fear a perpetual cycle of false peace and weakness. And because of that I will be the storm that brings change to this world if I have to. For humanity.”

“This wasn’t why I fought for me,” I began to grow quiet. “I fought because I believed you were wise. I drew blood so you didn’t have to.”

“All I’ve done is piece the puzzle together. The question is why humanity hasn’t had a golden age in generations. The answer is clear. All I’m attempting to do is to change the equation so that we can take the next step to greatness.”

“What you are proposing is a war that will kill thousands.”

“Millions, for a war to end all wars.”

I listened. The things he said sounded right, but at the same time insane. Two years ago, right after the war I might have accepted this. After all, perpetual peace was something that I had longed for. A world without war, without the need for fear. And if I thought that this would have led to that dream… I likely would have accepted it, even if it felt wrong.

But I was different now.

“No,” I shook my head. “I’m sorry.”

“Really, now?” Nobunaga seemed dejected after his burst of enthusiasm. “After all this time, you’re going to abandon me now?”

“Yes,” I looked at him straight in the eyes. “I’ve done my part. I have accomplished my duty, and for the past two years I’ve lived a different life. I’ve come to understand that there’s more to life than just fighting for peace. My time as a soldier has come to an end. Perhaps, I would have followed you, if I were the same person I had been during the war. But I no longer believe that I can change the world. I don’t believe we deserve to become something more, not the way we are right now.”

“That’s disappointing,” he looked down. “I haven’t even shared this with the others yet. I thought amongst them all, you would be the one to share my burden.”

“No,” I shook my head. “I understand exactly what you mean. But I’ve made a different choice. When I came here today, I was to tell you that I would no longer be a part of your circle. There is no longer a place for me here, and I no longer have an interest in returning to fight for you. Like I said… I have fulfilled my oath.”

“What are you-”

“Today marks the day when I permanently retreat from your service. I came to say that I will be residing in this kingdom not as a soldier waiting for his next mission, but a citizen. But I can’t even do that. No, I’ve decided here and now that I will not be a part of this country. Not if you’re taking it in the direction that you’ve stated to me. I refuse to be a part of this cycle, so I will be leaving and take my life elsewhere.”

“You think what I’m doing is wrong?”

“Yes,” I stood up.

“You were a part of this cycle for so long. You endorsed the cycle.”

“Unwillingly,” I walked up to the door, placing my hand on the handle. “I turned a blind eye to it, and accepted that it was the only way. That’s why I won’t stop you. But at the same time I won’t be a part of this madness, I just won’t help you achieve your goals.”

“Coward!” Nobunaga shouted. “I thought you were more ambitious than this. I thought you were as wise as I was. But now, you’re walking away from it all? You won’t even stop me, even though you think what I’m doing is wrong?”

“Yes,” I stood still “Even if it’s the wrong thing to do. I knew from the moment I approached that thing down below, that accursed throne. I knew that it was sinister and evil, and I've been proven right today.”

“You can feel the throne?” Nobunaga almost stuttered. “You can sense its power?”

“Yes I can,” I opened the door. “It’s changed you. I will play no part in this kingdom’s future. Farewell, old friend.”

And I left him there, never to look back. Knowing Nobunaga, he would do his best to accomplish the goals he had listed out to me. I did not know from what madness he derived this insanity, but I wanted nothing to do with it. Outside, everyone else was waiting for me.

“You won’t be joining us?” Ivan asked me. He didn’t look happy. In fact, he looked weary and dreadful, and completely drained of energy.

“No,” I looked at him.

“That’s surprising.”

“Not at all,” I didn’t even look at him in the eyes. “I moved on.”

I was fine with that being the last conversation I ever had with Ivan. I didn’t even turn to Lucy and Eileen’s way. My disappointment with them was obvious, and if that as the way our paths diverged then so be it.

Delilah stood alone, away from the others. She stood in my way when I got close, preventing me from going any further.

“What?” I looked at her.

“What’re you going to do?”

“I’m leaving this kingdom.”

“Just like that?”

“Just like that,” I repeated.

“Look, there’s something we need to talk about. You can’t leave just yet.”

“Say it now, because I’m not waiting any longer for any of this.”

“Look, I just have to confirm a few things before-”

“No,” I shook my head. “I’ve chosen to leave this life.”

“You can prevent this, you can change his mind. He will listen if-”

“No,” I said loudly, startling her. “I spent half my life trying to save this kingdom. If it goes back to shit, then this kingdom was never meant to be saved in the first place. I’m sorry, but I’m going.”

It hurt for me to say that to Delilah. She probably trusted me more than the others, and I trusted her as much as I had trusted Nobunaga. But I was in shock, and I was sick of it all. I just wanted to escape.

So when I left the castle for the last time, I went straight to Kasumi. I walked upstairs before anyone could even greet me, and she was there as usual, waiting for me.

“I thought you had something to do,” she didn’t seem enthusiastic to see me. Sometimes she was just like that. “You’re relatively early.”

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“Hey,” I closed the door behind me. “I need to talk to you about something important.”

On the way, I had thought about it deeply. She was the one that told me that I didn’t have to submit myself to the kingdom’s needs. She was the reason that I felt like I had been freed from the things I had done, and could imagine a future where I was in it. So I had decided to tell a lie.

“I want to leave this place,” I told her bluntly.

“Like… this brothel?” she seemed confused.

“No,” I was calm now. “I want to leave Visereal. I want to leave everything behind, and go somewhere I’ve never been. Away from these lands, away from this place. And I’m asking you to go with me.”

She covered her face with her hands.

“Do you have any idea what you’re saying?” she stuttered a bit.

“Yes.”

“You do know that in most places this is the same as a marriage proposal?”

“Really?”

“Idiot,” she turned away, but didn’t sound mad. “Idiot, idiot, idiot.” She paused for a bit. “This is really sudden,” she was blushing.

“Is that a no?”

“No… I mean yes… I mean… idiot,” she turned away again. “Why do you want to leave now?”

“I used to wonder what life would be like. And everytime I could barely piece together a future where I was in it. Now I can see it… but I’ve never imagined an iteration without you in it. I want to start anew, from the very beginning. You told me once that you never felt like you never belonged within these city walls. That no matter where you weren’t, you never felt like you were at home. So I want to ask you to come with me. And I want to find somewhere you can truly call home.”

She was bright red now. There was a pause before she said anything else.

“You’re stupid. Idiot. Idiot. Idiot.,” she stood up quickly, almost like she was mad. “Who even asks such an important question so casually? You’re the biggest idiot I know. Idiot.”

It was my first time hearing her calling me an idiot that many times. She kept calling me it, turning even redder until I began to laugh. She stopped insulting me and started laughing at me. I just smiled as I awaited my answer.

“So… will you come with me?” I asked.

“You’re despicable, making a woman say it out aloud,” she tucked her legs into her arms. “Idiot. Idiot. Idiot. What would you do if I said no?”

I thought about it. “I would stay, and wait. Until you said you would want to.”

I didn’t think her face could turn any redder, but it did. I kept staring at her as she played with her hair. A sign that she is nervous, or thinking.

“Of.. of,” she stuttered a bit. “Of course I’ll come if you ask me like that. Idiot.”

I smiled. It was an important decision, and I had been prepared to wait for weeks for her to decide. But she said yes immediately. I couldn’t have been happier.

“Are you sure?” I was surprised.

“But I’ll have to say goodbye to everyone,” she puffed her cheeks. “It’s gonna be hard to explain.I know a lot of places that will be interesting to visit,” she held my hand. “Far away from here. I’ll miss Meranda. And the girls.”

“Don’t you think you should stay for a bit longer?”

“No. I’ve been here long enough, waiting.”

“For?”

“I don’t know. I just knew that this wasn’t the end. And I was right. I was waiting for another adventure. I just didn’t know I was waiting for a person, not a thing.”

“Still, it’s no reason to rush yourself.”

“We can always visit,” she smiled. “We’re not leaving forever. They’ll still be here by the time we feel like we should return. That is… if you want to return.”

“I’m going wherever you’re going,” I looked at her. “Because we belong next to each other.”

We sat there, chattering about the things we would do, like two excited children. It was all happening so fast, my heart was about to jump out of my chest. There was a certain thrill about leaving everything behind, becoming nobodies and moving across the land without the knowledge of anyone. In the years I spent in the army everyone had known who I was. I couldn’t go anywhere without someone saluting me and villagers scrambling out of my way for no good reason. Even in Visereal I had to avoid showing up at events and keeping a low profile so nobody would know who I truly was. In contrast to that, it would seem nice to go places where nobody had any clue who I was, where I could just pose as a traveller and do as I wished.

Kasumi immediately went down to tell everyone that she was leaving. The girls were confused at first. Until she told them that I was taking her away. All the girls screeched in excitement, thank god there weren’t any customers around. Some of them asked me where we would be going.

“I’m looking forward to where he’ll take me,” she responded for me. A lot of the girls were happy that Kasumi would be leaving. From what she had told me, harlots were rarely let go from the place unless they were bought. They had no other home and the prospects of living a life away from their group seemed impossible for them.

And so we approached one last person before our departure. Merinda sat in her room as usual, smoking on a pipe and doing whatever it was she was doing. And as I entered her room she glared at me, as if anticipating the incoming request.

Kasumi took a seat before her, and I did the same.

“Merinda. It’s time I take my leave. It’s time for me to go on another journey.” Kasumi began.

“Are you sure?”

“Yes. I’m positive.”

“You’ve lived under my roof for two decades. Waiting for something to happen. You told me that you were tired of the world, tired of the people in it. I owe you a favour that can never be repaid, even across lifetimes.”

“I know,” Kasumi smiled. “And I’ll always be thankful for the things that you’ve done for me.”

“And now you’re leaving.”

“And now I’m leaving,” Kasumi repeated. “But not forever.”

“Will you come back?”

“Of course,” Kasumi reached out to hug her.

I decided that I must have been a bother to their emotional farewell, so I left the room. Kasumi made quite a decision when she chose to leave everything behind. A decision she made for me, without hesitation.

I was afraid that I wouldn’t be able to make her happy, even after all she did for me.

She trusted me.

She cared for me.

She understood me.

And she gave up a future of safety and certainty for one of uncertainty with me.

She got her things, which wasn’t much. I had enough gold to buy a small house, but I wasn’t even sure gold would matter where we were going. Plus we were survivors, so we knew how to look after ourselves in the wild.

All she had was a pack with a few books, pictures and ornaments. It really looked as if she had been ready to leave at any moment, and that she had been waiting.

“Ready?” I asked Kasumi as we left the brothel, the girls waving goodbye at us. I even waved back at them.

“Ready,” she responded, pulling a hood over her head to hide her ears.

And we set off, just like that without much thought. By the time we were leaving the sun was coming down and we walked along the roads leading out of the city. The guards let me out without any question, unaware that I didn’t plan on returning for a very long time.

“I’ll race you to the farms,” Kasumi unveiled herself as it became darker and harder to see. She turned into a fox, dashing across the tallgrass. I didn’t understand where their clothes went and how it magically returned after she turned human again, and I guess I never will.

I sprinted across the fields to keep up with her. She was fast, but so was I. We were both faster and nimbler than horses, jumping across tiny obstacles and dodging branches. Two free spirits traveled across the lands that day, dancing in a shade of white and black. Even when it became dark I could easily see her bright silhouette under the night sky, following it as we reached the outskirts of the city, where no one would think to look for us. And as she turned back into a human to wait for me, I caught up and held her in my arms.

“It’s a little too early,” she pecked me on the cheek. “Hands off.”

I grabbed her hand, walking by her side.

“You said you’ve been around the world a bit. Do you want to visit somewhere you've been, or do you feel a bit more adventurous?” I asked.

“Hm,” she thought about it. “I’m feeling adventurous.”

We picked a random direction, and started walking. We didn’t care where we were going. As long as we were by each other, it didn’t matter. We were right where we belonged.

Sparrows flew across the air, returning to their nests as me and Kasumi finally embarked on a necessary journey, the change in our lives that we had both been awaiting.

And under the guise of night we set up a small tent, covering ourselves.

The stars shined bright that night. I can still remember as she pointed at the constellations, telling me short stories that she had red in books, huddling together in a blanket, next to a fire to keep us warm for the night.

“If I could ask,” I began.

“Hmm?”

“Why did you do all the things that you did with and for me?”

“You’re asking this now?”

“When I first met you I wasn’t the most accommodating or trusting person. I didn’t understand your actions, and I still don’t.”

“Truthfully?”

“I just wanted to prove that you were more of the same. I just wanted to confirm that when people are pushed to the brink, that they cross a point from when they can no longer return. I knew from the moment that I pried into your memories that you were haunted by the war. But at the same time, haunted by something else.”

“What do you mean?”

“There’s something else inside of you,” she looked at me very seriously. “Something that doesn’t belong there, something evil that’s been eating away at you for a very long time. I was shocked that you were fighting it for as long as you were, both consciously and unconsciously.”

“Surely,” she continued. “Surely a man that’s been fighting the darkness for so long, must be a good man. And now we’re here. I was right.”

“About?”

“The world is terrible. Full of horrible people, people that have lost hope. For a bit… I gave up on it. And then I met you, and surely I began to see that every once in a while… I should believe, just a little bit.”

“I see,” I held her tighter.

“Have you ever thought about having children?” she asked. It was a sudden, and strange question.

“Um…” it caught me off guard. “No.” I was scared that I might respond incorrectly.

“You should,” was all she said.

We would continue our journey as soon as the sun rose, I thought. And so I began to doze off in the comfort of her company, at peace with myself. She buried her head into my neck, her soft ears brushing against my throat. We laid there together, sleeping under the protection of the trees and cover of the night.

Until I could sense something approaching us. I opened my eyes immediately, looking straight in front of me. Familiar presences loomed in the distance, getting closer and closer.

I shook Kasumi until she woke up, but by the time she had come to her senses the presence was far too close. And by then I recognized the people that had chased me by their auras alone.

Just like I predicted, Ivan, Lucy and Eileen appeared out of the darkness. But this time I didn’t feel safe, or surrounded by friendly faces. I felt surrounded.

“Magnus,” Ivan greeted me.

“Ivan,” I stood up in front of Kasumi. “Why’re you here?”

“We couldn’t let a friend of ours go without a farewell, could we?”

“I have nothing to say to mindless puppets like you,” I snickered. I was provoking him because I knew that they weren’t here on friendly terms. Something was about to happen.

“We fought together for so many years, and you’re going to leave us, just like that?” he looked up at me. His eyes were empty, lacking any passion or soul like he used to. He had degenerated to a common soldier in the two years since the war had ended.

“It’s just like you said,” I motioned for Kasumi to run. “I swore an oath of duty, and you three an oath of loyalty. I have fulfilled my end of the bargain.”

“I’m sorry…” he looked at the ground. “But I can’t let you go.” Even through the darkness I could see the way he looked down, sincere and honest. He was too heartful to lie to me, even now.

“You don’t have to do this,” I saw his hand go towards his back, where his spear rested. “I’m going to walk away from all of this. You will never see me, ever again.”

“You know too much,” Ivan whispered. “Too much about our strengths, and we can’t take that risk. Not with what we have in mind.”

“RUN!” I shouted at Kasumi. A torrent of black matter flooded out of the air, creating several thick layers of walls before me. I couldn’t fight all three of them, not at once. They could easily feel where I was, so I was going to have to go a different path if I wanted to keep Kasumi safe. I would hold them here for as long as I could before I tried to escape, if I even could.

The walls only stayed up for moments before a plume of fire erupted from their center, Lucy’s magic destroying mine. Within the flames came charging, Ivan, but he no longer fought with the same ferocity and passion. It was crude, simple and uninspiring. Just like me, he had become weak as well.

I raised a hand, creating a shield in my hand that blocked the tip of his spear. I saw a shadow slip past me, and I turned around to spot Eileen, going for Kasumi. I created a fan of daggers in my free hand, continuing to deflect Ivan’s strikes as I did. The daggers flew towards Eileen, but I saw her dodge gracefully, not even turning to look at the projectiles.

Eileen continued to pursue Kasumi, and I began to panic. I was locked in a stalemate against Ivan, one that could go on for days. I slammed the ground, sending a pillar diagonally into his chest. He managed to block it with his spear, but the spear crashed into his chest and he flew away from me. A torrent of flames began to rain down, setting the nearby trees on fire as Lucy rained hell from above. My hand was caught in the flames, sending my flesh to reel apart from the heat and I screamed, dashing away to chase after Eileen.

I ignored the pain in my hand as the two in front of me had become more difficult to sense. I ran, as fast as I could. As fast as my legs could carry me, even when I crashed into logs and trees I ignored the bruises, cuts and broken bones. I knew that they would grow back and heal, but now I was worried about something that I can never get back. Trees collapsed where I ran, and I caught up to Eileen. She turned around, still shrouded by that mask of hers. Even after all these years, I never knew what she looked like underneath. Just that even though she moved with grace and confidence, she was shy, and scared of people. A contrast to the fearsome aura that she exuded in our missions.

She threw projectiles my way, poison pellets. I ran right through them, trying my best to hold my breath as the thick mist slowed me down. Whatever it was hurt my vision and made it difficult to focus on chasing. But I rammed through, and awaiting for me at the other end of the fog was Eileen. Her daggers flew towards me, and I managed to coat myself in armor right before it hit. The daggers landed in the left side of my chest, and likely would have caught my heart if I didn't react in time.

“Magnus!” I heard a cry. Kasumi was close. I could sense her just up ahead. Through the blurriness, I could see her, in her fox form. Blue flames flung across the air, sapping cold heat and burning Eileen. I could see her skipping away to dodge. I dashed towards her, all before the sound of a strange whistle reached my ears. And as I turned around, Ivan’s spear slammed into my stomach, impaling me onto the ground. Now I was sputtering blood everywhere, and I roared in pain.

“Run!” I shouted at Kasumi. “Leave me!” But by the time I turned around she had been forced back into her human form, Eileen holding a dagger at her throat as the fox fires faded away into nothingness.

From behind me, Ivan walked up. He wouldn’t look at me in the eyes as he walked past, knowing that I wouldn’t dare to move. Knowing that they had their hands on the one thing I valued more than anything else.

“What happened?” he asked. “You were one of the strongest people I had ever known. But now,” his sights laid on Kasumi. “You have a glaring weakness.”

“Don’t touch her,” I managed to gasp out.

“I’m truly sorry,” Ivan looked down, still avoiding eye contact. “But I plan to follow Nobunaga all the way, even if this is what he wants.”

“You don’t have to do this. Let us go,” I begged. “Tell him I died here, on this night. That you left my body to the wolves, and I will never appear before you again. I will never try to stand in your way, or to stop you. My name will be forgotten, and you can do as you wish. Please.”

I was desperate.

“Please,” I pleaded. “Let her go.”

“We can’t,” Lucy walked on my side. “We can’t take that risk. Especially since we know what you’re capable of.”

She looked at Ivan. “We don’t know what it’ll take to kill him. I’ll burn him to ashes, to make sure he can’t regenerate back.”

I glared at her in the eyes. Unlike Ivan, she returned the gesture. I could see it in her as well. Regret.

“I’m sorry too,” Lucy turned away. “But we’re nothing without the war. Without a cause to fight for. And just like Ivan… I plan to follow Nobunaga to the very end… even if I must betray you.”

I looked at Eileen for hope, who still held Kasumi at knifepoint. Nothing. After all these years, and this was the treatment I received. This was the final farewell I would have with them?

“Please,” I pleaded. “Let her go. Kill me.”

It was the least they could have done for me.

“Can we?” Ivan looked up.

“No…” Eileen shouted. Her voice cracked, but she kept going. “No loose… ends.”

And I watched as her dagger slit through Kasumi’s neck, and then plunge into her heart.

From my mouth, I screamed so loud I could hear the forest flinch. Birds left their nest, trees began to dance and the flames crackled. It was the sound of a man that had been in agony for thousands of years. The sound of a man that had just lost everything.

I watched as Kasumi fell to the ground, turning to me. She gargled on her blood, trying to say something, but her words were lost to me.

Fury took over. And in my rage, the ground began to shake, mana emanating from every particle that surrounded me. Hundreds of black swords began to appear in the sky as I poured every single drop of mana from within me. Flames bursted into my face and body, burning me alive. I pulled the spear out of the ground, and rose from the dirt as my flesh turned into soot, and bone into ash. The swords began to rain down onto the ground, and I cared not for my wounds as I wanted one thing, and only one thing.

Revenge.

But I had acted far too late. The swords began to fade away and disappear as my body did. I watched as parts of me were taken away by the wind, and as what remained crawled across the dirt, reaching out to Kasumi. She was still alive, I think. I could see her on the ground, but her voice never reached me.

I just wanted to be with her.

I just wanted to be happy.

Why was the world so cruel to me?

People never change. I was the same as the boy that crawled out of that cave eight years ago. I was weak, helpless and pathetic. All I could do was watch. Watch as the fires burned my body, and watch as what remained of her life faded into dying embers. I was clutching onto a string, gripping the dirt with whatever strength I had. For I could do nothing else.

I would never remember her last words, for I had become deaf. I could only see through one eye, and even now I can see her beautiful, thin face with freckles on it. Laying in the cold dirt, before the fires would consume her.

I never had the chance to tell her that I loved her. No, the world had taken that opportunity from me.

I never had the chance to tell her that I would let the world burn if I could be with her. But no, the world robbed me of that.

I never told her that even when I saved a kingdom and watched it prosper, nothing gave me more happiness than being by her side. But the world denied me my happiness.

I died a fiery death. Drowning in anger and regret, I reached out one last time, in a hope to connect with the one thing I cared about in the world. But even that was a privilege that I had been refused. I saw her die. As her eyes stopped moving, and her fingers stopped twitching.

I watched her die.

And I let it all happen.

Because I had been selfish. Because I had told a lie.

Even as I crumbled into the dirt beneath me, I clung onto the hope that this was just a bad dream. That the people I trusted the most hadn’t betrayed me. That the two years I spent overcoming my fear and past hadn’t been in vain.

I tried to believe. I wanted to believe.

But the world had cursed me once more.