I was in a slight daze as I turned around. It felt kind of hazy, like the way it felt when I was poisoned. As my vision cleared and I finally saw what was in front of me, every single muscle in my body wanted to scream. Hundreds of bodies, impaled on the ground. Raised high for all to see, there were so many that I couldn’t see the sky. The heads slowly turned to me. Many I recognized, and many more I didn’t. A small hand touched mine, and I looked to my side. A child with half of their face ripped off looked at me. He looked like he was about to say something, but nothing came out but silence.
I woke up, cold sweat dripping down my hair. Breathing heavily, I looked out the window. It wasn’t dawn just yet. Another six months had passed. I could barely sleep. The war was over, but I just couldn’t rest.
I washed my face and changed my clothes, grabbing a stack of books and putting them into a bag. Walking through the silent alleyways of the city was slightly eerie and comforting, but did little to ease my pain.
For some reason Asura was being very quiet these few days. My connection to him felt faded, but I knew that he was still there. He was always the one that instigated me to fight. He was the one that kept pushing me, harder and harder. The devil on my shoulder. I listened, so that I could become stronger. But now he had disappeared. Appearing occasionally to drop a few words, I couldn’t help but wonder if there was something wrong with him.
Eventually I stopped at the library. It was always open, because there were two people there that took care of the place. An old man that stayed up all night, and a younger lady that took care of the place during the day.
The old man was sitting at the counter as I walked in. He took one look at me and nudged me to go on. He was already used to me coming in and out so frequently that he didn’t even bother striking up a conversation anymore. I browsed through the sections. I didn’t think that there was anyone else inside of here.
So imagine my surprise when a girl in a cloak bumped into me around the corner, causing her books to tumble onto the floor. I hadn’t been paying attention at all.
“Sorry,” I apologized, helping her pick up the books. I caught a glimpse of her face. Freckles, red eyes and white hair. She smiled at me and nodded, excusing herself without a word and went to the old man. I had never seen her here before. On the other hand, I almost never came at this time either.
I returned the books I had to their respective shelves, categorized by genre and author name. It was well kept by the librarians, however there was nothing they could do about some sections. The part further at the back was dusty since nobody ever looked towards it.
I took my selection of books and left the place. The old man simply took a look at the books I chose, nodding in approval.
“You read fast,” he noticed.
“Yeah.”
“Got nothing much going on?”
“Not really.”
“Heh, go on then. Take your time. I’ll be seeing you around again,” he grinned, returning to read the book he had on his table.
I put them back into the bag I had brought, I began to walk towards the castle. The stairway there was mostly empty, except for the occasional merchant. Eventually after sunrise most farmers and traders would come to this area, setting up shop. I reached the castle’s wide doors. I could still remember how we butchered our way into there. I shook my head, trying to forget.
There were several guards at the entrance and even more patrolling the area.
“Lord Magnus,” the one at the door put his feet together as I approached.
“It’s just Magnus,” I urged him.
“We can’t-”
“Yes you can, because I command it,” I cut him off.
“Yes sir,” he said stiffly.
I sighed, walking past him. All of this formality could get annoying sometimes.
I walked towards one of the meeting rooms, and walked in. Papers lined the floors, books populated the tables and Nobunaga was at the head of the table sleeping and snoring away. He had a pen in his hand and slept on what seemed to be his half-finished work.
I put my bag down, noticing that we two weren’t alone in this room.
“Good morning, Eileen,” I greeted her, and out from the shadows she came. She was dressed in a nightgown, but still wore a layer of leather armor. Of course, her mask was always on, just that over the years she had changed the type of mask she wore. Currently, she has a traditional hannya mask.
“Good… morning.”
“You busy?”
“We’re still cleaning up, as you know.”
“I see.”
“Have you found anything on your end?”
“No. Delilah said she’s working on it.”
“She hasn’t… shown up… in a while.”
“Meaning she’s busy,” I took a seat.
We had a short talk on what we had so far.
There were rumors of a human trafficking ring in the city. A few days ago one of the guards had found a carriage with half a dozen women, all chained up and bound up. When asked the merchant had said that he had been paid to take them out of the kingdom. He was detained and currently sat in one of the cells.
I had been trying to find out more, but no luck. It had been two weeks since and it concerned us deeply that even after banning slavery that this was still happening. I promised that I would help, even though in some regard I was no longer part of the military or their group.
“Where’s Ivan and Lucy?” I asked.
“Lucy’s dealing… with the… food shortages,” Eileen replied. “And as… usual… Ivan’s at… the pleasure… quarters.”
I sighed. Typical of him. “So we have nothing.”
“No… we’re working… on it.”
We both contemplated in silence. I wasn’t sure where to go from here. Our conversation had woken Nobunaga up. He raised his hand up as we turned to him. He yawned, rubbing his eyes.
“It’s fine. I have work left to do,” he immediately continued writing.
“No time for a game of chess?” I crossed my arms.
“No time for games, unfortunately. How has your time off been?”
“Could be better.”
“You should indulge yourself more. Like Ivan.”
“I’ll pass.”
“Hmm,” he smirked. “Always so unconceited.”
And thus he pitched in on the conversation, discussing current politics and issues that were occuring in the courts. He had tried his best to bring nobles and people in positions of power as much as he could, but it was hard trying to get them to work together. Things were getting better, but it was getting harder to manage things. Especially since it came down to trusting others to do his job.
“I’ll go check on Lucy, see if I can help,” I stood up.
“She’ll probably be pulling the hair out of her head by now,” Nobunaga laughed. “She should be in one of the rooms downstairs.”
I navigated my way down, trying to hear the sound of alchemy through the walls. Down the hallway, I could hear the faint sound of bubbling and brewing behind closed doors. I knocked.
No response.
I opened the door, and it swung open. As per usual she had no regard for locked doors.
Lucy was at a table, brewing, calculating and transmuting materials. Magic flashed and ricocheted as dusts and fluids interchanged locations, creating a solid block of blue mass. She dropped small mana shards onto the floor after they had been emptied, and slouched on her table.
“How are things?” I approached her from behind.
“Learn to knock,” she grunted. “I’m busy. Shoo.”
“I’m here to help,” I tried to appease her. “Anything I can do for you?”
“You aren’t capable of human magic, we’ve already established that,” she complained. When she had tried to teach me basic pyromancy and alchemy we found out that whatever I tried to do, it was inferior compared to the demon magic I could use. Of course, I never told her how I got my powers, but I believe in some ways she knew that it was anything but human.
“Still, anything else I can do?”
“Go over there,” she pointed at a bag. I went over, opening it up to find a sandwich in it.
“Gimme,” she complained.
I sighed, heading over to her and placing it in her mouth. She took off her leather gloves, placing it on the table and began eating.
“How’s it been?” I asked.
“Could be better. Nobunaga’s been working me like a slave.”
“Is it that special formula you’ve always been making?”
“Yeah.”
“Why don’t you just make the other mages here make them?”
“I have nothing else to do,” she shrugged.
“There’s work to be done for the city,” I suggested. “Couldn’t you help?”
“I’m not interested,” she replied selfishly. “I’m a mage, not a spy. I’ll be there to test out my new spells but I’m not going to sneak around gathering information. That’s not my forte.”
“Fair enough,” her answer was consistent with how she was. Always stuck her nose in ancient grimoires and tomes. Never did anything that bored her.
“How’s Ivan doing?” I asked her. I already asked Eileen, but her answer had been broad.
“He’s been worse off since the war ended,” she sighed. “I honestly feel bad for him.”
“How so?” I grew concerned. Ivan was always upbeat.
“There’s nothing for him to do. He can’t even read, so he can’t help out in the castle either. He does training for new recruits, but otherwise he actually has no other purpose.”
I thought about it. He really didn’t have any other talents except for fighting.
“You should visit more,” Lucy leaned back. “He misses you, you know. His partner in crime.”
“Everytime I come, he’s not even here.”
“He’s whoring himself to an early grave, I swear,” she slouched. “He’s got nothing else to do. If you ever consider visiting, he’s usually here after noon. Depends.”
“On?”
“How long he wants to spend at the brothel,”
“I thought they didn't open up early.”
“For him they do.”
I left the room shortly afterwards. I left her to her machinations and as I walked up the hallways I felt a familiar presence behind me.
I turned around, and behind me stood one of Delilah’s assassins, waiting.
“It’s rude to sneak up on someone like that,” I commented.
“Lady Delilah requires you,” she bowed. “And I apologize for my rudeness.”
She had a golden sheathe on the side of her armor.
“Aurum, how have you been?”
“Been well, my lord.”
“Please don’t call me that.”
“As you wish,” she bowed slightly.
Aurum took me to another section of the castle, navigating higher up the towers. We came to another room, one that was polished and clean unlike the lower sections. I entered, and for a moment I thought it was a library. There were stacks upon stacks of books on shelves and all around just a mess. Behind the table, waiting and scribbling away was Delilah as Argentum sat at another table, looking through paperwork as well.
She smiled as I approached.
“Ah, just the person I was looking for!” she exclaimed. “I need your help.”
“Yes?”
“Information concerning the slave ring that we suspect still exists just came up. I need you to go fetch it for me.”
“And why can’t any of your lackeys do it?”
“The last one just got compromised. He was found dead today, floating in the sewers.”
“Ah.”
“I need you to do this, because I don’t want to risk any more of my spiders.”
Spiders. That’s what she liked to call her spies.
“How about Ivan?” I asked.
“I can’t trust him right now. He needs to get his shit together before I ask him to do anything for me.”
I didn’t think it was actually that bad, until now.
“Sure,” I accepted. It didn’t seem like an unfair reason. “Where and when?”
“It’s one of the brothels down in the pleasure district.”
“And out of everyone that you know of, you want me to go to a brothel?” I sighed.
“I know, I know, it’s not your favorite location, but it needs to be done.”
I reluctantly agreed. “When?”
“Tonight, midnight.”
“Who am I looking for?”
“Here, take this map. I’ve marked it down for you. Oh, and this,” she handed me a scroll. It had the seal of the Silverclaw family on it. “Give this to them, and they will know what to do.”
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“Alright.”
“So then, how have you actually been?” Delilah stopped writing and looked up at me.
“The same. As always.”
“Nothing’s different?”
“Nope.”
“I thought you’d be more adventurous since the war ended. After all, you were given all the gold you would ever need and a title of your choosing.”
“I’m not interested,” I took a seat, moving books up on the table. I hope she didn’t mind.
“Are you still living in that house I found for you?”
“Yeah.”
“It was relatively cheap and small. You could have gone for something bigger and better.”
“It’s fine.”
“Found yourself a girlfriend yet?” she smiled slyly.
“No.”
“Still having trouble with women?”
I didn’t answer. “What’re you busy with?”
“We’re trying to keep track of all the housing with cripples in them. We’re producing a lot of crops with the fertilizer that Lucy came up with, but I’m worried we don’t have enough. Plus we’re having a hard time trusting the new dukes to do their job. I actually think we might have a problem on our hands pretty soon.”
“Nobunaga said that the food situation’s been fine.”
“Well, he’s been busy dealing with the new lords of the cities. I haven’t bothered him with all these other problems lined up.”
“Such as?”
“Unemployment for veterans, it’s difficult to start up trade again. On top of all that not all of the new lords and dukes are actually competent at their jobs. Whenever something goes wrong, my spies have to tell me and I actually have to do something about it.”
“Sounds like you got the short end of the stick,” I looked through the abundance of papers on her desk.
“I knew what I was getting myself into from the start.”
“And are you happy about it?”
“I’m happy to see that the kingdom’s running in the right direction.”
“Fair enough.”
“So what’re you going to do after this?” she continued asking.
“I’ll go to that brothel.”
“I mean before that. There’s an entire day ahead of you, you realize that, right?”
“I suppose.”
She sighed. “You should find a different hobby.”
“I like reading.”
“One with people involved.”
I remained silent.
“Be careful,” she warned. “You’ll end up like Ivan.”
As I left the room, I went back up to the room where Nobunaga was. He has nowhere to be seen, but Eileen was in the room still. I waved at her, and she waved back.
“You… going?” she asked.
“Yeah.”
“I see…” she whispered, and went back to whatever thoughts she was having. I knew what kind of person she was. She was constantly brooding, thinking about what she could do. Unfortunately she wasn’t skilled at anything else.
I sat down next to her.
“I thought… you were… going,” she tilted her head.
“I have time,” I shrugged. “You busy?”
“I am… needed else… where later. Criminals… at night.”
“Alone?”
“Yes.”
I found that rather strange.
Eileen and I slowly talked for a while. She took her time with her words, expressing her discomfort in the city. It was a new environment, filled with small nooks and crannies. Something that an experienced assassin enjoyed but she thought that this place was off putting.
“Too much… happiness. Not used… to it,” was how she explained it.
Out of all of us I thought that she would be the one that had the most difficulty adapting to the new situation. She was talented in the art of stealth, and even powerful at manipulating shadows. However she was terrible with life, and I often wondered what would have become of her if she never met Nobunaga.
As I left the castle there was a new rotation of patrols that stood at the gate. There were several soldiers that recognized me, and the ones that did bowed immediately as I approached.
“Raise your heads,” I urged, putting a finger to my lips. They said nothing as I passed through.
The rest of the day I spent back at the small house. It was cozy, small and befitting of someone like me. I didn’t have much stuff inside there either, apart from a few books. All I needed was a lamp and then I would be fine. I tried to tinker with my magic. Black matter appeared in the air, floating about. I wondered, just why it turned white when I was in the midst of war.
“It’s a reflection of your state of mind,” I remembered Asura telling me once.
No matter what, I was never able to change colors by will. It always happened in the spur of the moment, naturally. It was hard to remember whenever it happened, my memories would become fuzzy.
I wasted time, reading and taking the occasional walk until it was right before midnight. I closed the book I was reading, packing it away and thinking about what I should borrow tomorrow.
The walk to the pleasure district, or as some others called it the pleasure quarters was a decent walk away. The way there was mostly empty as most people were asleep by this point. However as I drew close to the district I began to see more and more lights resonating across the roads. Lanterns were lit, and it looked like a party. Harlots lined the streets, attracting customers to their brothels. I walked past, ignoring the calls and glances I received. I took out the small map that Delilah had given me. Following it, I arrived in front of a rather large building, decorated with symbols and seemed to be more luxurious than the others. A few harlets were outside, casually watching passerbys. For a city that had been at war recently it looked like it was doing quite well.
Up above, there was a window open, from which I could feel a pair of eyes following me. It belonged to a woman. She was gazing at me intensely with her head tilted. Our eyes then met, and we just awkwardly stared at each other without reason. She had freckles on her face, as well as red eyes. She had a pair of animal ears, so she was clearly a beast woman. She was the girl from the library. She had a hard, frozen smile on her face. It was more unnerving than it was pleasant, but our gazes were interrupted by a loud sound behind me.
“How dare you slap me, you dirty whore!” I turned around to see a man shouting, grabbing a woman by the wrist. He was clearly intoxicated, and was barely able to stand on his feet.
The woman struggled, trying to get away from him, but he latched on like a leech, spouting insults while doing so. She had animal ears as well, so another beast-person.
People stopped talking and turned to watch the spectacle outside.
“You dirty animals shouldn’t even be allowed in this city,” the man hiccuped. “You should all be put in the gutter like before!”
I watched idly by, doing nothing. The girl looked around looking for help, to find nothing. The man’s hand raised up, and I was ready to interfere before a shadow passed by me, followed by light blue flames. The shadowy figure stopped behind the man, flipping him up and tossed him aside. The man tripped, falling over to the side as the new figure helped the woman up. The new woman was the beast-woman from above that had been staring down at me. Tender blue flames surrounded her, revolving around her like a ring as she looked at the man she tossed aside.
“How dare you!” he shouted, stumbling up on his feet. A couple of others helped him up. They were also clearly somewhat tipsy, stumbling across the street.
“Filthy animals, who do you think you’re lying your hands on!” one of them shouted. The small group of men began approaching the two, and suddenly the small blue flames grew larger. They simmerd and flickered a soft blue hue.
“Do you know who I am?” the man at the front shouted.
The flames blew towards him, and people by the sides started shouting. I knew that if I didn’t interfere now, then things could get ugly.
I was still as nimble as before. Just with two steps I closed the distance, and I stood in between them. The flames stopped before it hit me, dispersing thinly across the air. I motioned for the sorceresses to stop. I turned my attention to the man.
“Drop it,” I urged the man at the front. “You’re drunk. Go home.”
Ivan had done this plenty of times. I was already used to playing the friend that had to take care of him until he sobered up.
“Pfft,” he spat at me. “Get lost.” He turned away, walking in the opposite direction. I decided to interpret that as it is and began to go back to my business. I walked away. He should have too, and that would have been the end of that.
Instead, he ran towards me. He didn’t even make an attempt to hide his footsteps.
I turned gently, facing him as his fist came flying straight at my face. It was quite easy to catch, there wasn’t much strength behind it. I pulled his hand to the side, twisting his arm, causing him to wince in pain.
“Back off,” I said, getting somewhat irritated.
I shoved him to the side, leaving him on the ground.
And once more, I turned away to the brothel, wanting to get it over with.
I heard a click. And once more I turned around, facing a flintlock pistol in his hand. I hadn’t seen one in a while. They were usually expensive and most people were careless with gunpowder, among other combustible materials.
“Not so tough now, eh?” he laughed. “Do you know who I am? You’re a dead man!”
I looked towards him.
Faster than he could ever imagine I appeared right in front of him. My bloodlust instinctively turned on, and he realized just how small of a man he was. There was no need for words or any more actions. As I gazed down at him, he slowly fell onto his knees. His hand loosened, and his flintlock fell to the ground. He looked as if he wanted to say something, but his lips would only shake as his eyes focused on mine. Locked in place, I could sense his heart beating like it was about to burst open. Everyone else watched, the bustling streets of the pleasure quarters were now even quieter than the library.
“Go,” I whispered. “Now.”
This time he bolted away, not even bothering to pick up the pistol. I picked it up, crushing it in my hand. No one else tried anything funny. The group that was being loud a second ago were now dead silent, slowly inching away from me. I turned to the two beast-women. The one from the library covered the other, holding up the blue flames protectively.
I ignored them, heading to the brothel that I came here for in the first place. There was a new person standing at the entrance now. She wore fancy blue clothing, was quite beautiful and was smoking on a pipe. It was kind of obvious that she was expecting me, after all the entire time she stood up straight, keeping her eyes on me with caution.
Before I even walked up, I already had my letter with the Silverclaw seal out. I passed it to her as I approached, and she took one look at it before putting it away, motioning me to come inside.
* * *
“So, you’re Magnus,” she looked at me curiously.
I nodded.
“You’re younger than I thought.”
“Were you expecting me?”
“Delilah said that she would send someone she trusts. She said that she would send the infamous White Rider himself to my doorsteps.”
“I’m not the White Rider anymore, I’m just here to collect her papers and go.”
“Heh, do you even know how famous you actually are?” She looked out the window. “The only thing out there about you are stories. After Nobunaga and his army took over the capital, they began calling you the Vanguard of Visereal, and then you disappeared. Nobody knew where you went.”
“The stories are exaggerated.”
“Not according to Delilah,” she laughed. “She also told me that you would be quite modest.”
“Who are you, anyways?” I was tired of being pampered with questions. “And I was told to collect information, where is said information?”
“Like she said, you tend to get straight to the point,” she coughed. “I’m Merinda. I’m also a Silverclaw.”
“You’re related to her by blood?” If that was true it would be surprising. I thought that all of her relatives had died during the war.
“No. Not related to blood, but Delilah and I go back a long way. She sought out my help, and I gave it to her. I wasn’t expecting anything in return but she doesn’t like being in someone’s debt. So to me she granted her family name as well as a generous sum of money to start my own establishment.”
“And you chose to start a brothel?”
“Easy coin. And the best place to collect information. All lips are loose in a place like this,” she smiled slyly.
“Fair enough,” I shrugged.
“So, here’s everything we have right now,” she took out several scrolls, unraveling one on the table. She proceeded to explain to me what they had heard from their customers, particularly concerning the movement of people in the supposed slave market that was operating somewhere in this kingdom. All we had were loose sketches and dead ends, but enough for me to think that there was actually something going on.
“Are you going to leave now?” Merinda asked while I packed everything up.
“Yeah.”
“I saw what happened downstairs. I believe that one of my workers owes you an apology.”
“Who?”
“The kitsune with the flames.”
“It’s not necessary.”
“I’d rather she apologize to you,” Melinda sighed. “That girl needs to know that there are repercussions to the things she does. I can’t be protecting her forever.”
“Then why protect her in the first place?”
“I owe her a very large favour.”
“I see,” I was interested. What kind of favour would lead to a human protecting someone that wasn’t human? It was rare. Rare enough that I wanted to know more.
Melinda bowed as I closed the door while I left. And there, waiting outside for me was the kitsune that she had mentioned. Without a word, she turned and walked up the hallway, leaving me behind. At this point although I didn’t want to admit it, I was quite curious about the two of them. Perhaps I was interested because she wasn’t human. Perhaps I just wanted to find out more about Delilah’s friend that I had never heard about.
I followed out of curiosity, following her up a set of stairs up to her room. There was a sliding door that led to a small, but cozy room upstairs. She didn’t seem surprised that I had followed her up there.
I began to feel fuzzy, but not in danger. Something was off, but I wasn’t too concerned with it.
Art utensils lined the side of the room, and a single blank canvas stood idly by on a stand. There was a single table in the middle, wooden with not much details. She took a seat near the window, lighting up a scented candle.
I took a seat on the ground opposite of her, close to the sliding door. She continued viewing the streets, and I looked around. Several paintings were covered next to her, making me curious as to what was underneath. There were also several books by the side, some of which I recognized and many of which I didn’t. I had seen them at the library before, but none of them had ever interested me enough.
“Who are you?” she said with that same smile on her face.
I turned to her. Now that we were close, I noticed a lot more about her features. She was slightly pale, and her hair was a beautiful jet black. It was long, and well kept and bundled very carefully. Her red eyes stood out from the rest of her features, as well as the freckles on her face. Close up she was quite pretty, and could easily be mistaken for a doll. She had a smile on her face that felt like it had been carved in rather than being formed naturally. Like it was forced upon her.
“Magnus,” I answered. “Yours?”
“Kasumi.”
“I see.”
A moment of silence passed.
“Do you work here?” I asked.
“Do you think I’m a whore?” she looked outside the window, grinning while watching the people walk across the district.
“Aren’t you?”
“Everyone’s a whore, we just sell different parts of ourselves,” she answered shrewdly. Her head tilted, and as she put her arms on the table her sleeves rolled down, revealing her scarred arms. Markings stretched across her forearm, and I wondered just how she got them.
“You know,” she began. “I thought you were one of us.”
“Us?” I questioned.
“I thought you were half-animal, half-man.”
“I’m not.”
“So why did you protect us two, down there? There was no need for you to get involved. Not for creatures like us.”
“Because I could,” I didn’t really have a reason to, she was right. “I do as I please.”
“And now you’ve made me curious. What’s happening inside that head of yours?” her stone cold smile remained on her face. “Tell me, what is it that you desire?”
The light aroma of flowers glazed the air, and suddenly I began to feel a little sleepy. Everything began to look choppy, like I was unable to see every other second. It was a soothing, yet uncomfortable feeling as I watched her get close to me. I could smell her perfume from how close she was.
She whispered something quiet into my ears, something I couldn’t make out. For some reason her touch didn’t really bother me. Small fingers slipped through my collar, and around my neck. For some reason, I couldn’t move. And then everything spiraled into chaos. The walls and floors twisted and blended into soil, and I found myself not in the brothel in Visereal, but once again at my old, old house. Everything had been burned to the ground. The only thing that remained were the soot and ashes of my childhood. Then everything reformed once again, and now I was walking through one of the villages that I liberated. I kicked down a door, and within the room was a group of our soldiers. They had a single woman surrounded, tore apart her clothes and were taking their time with her while the rest of the soldiers had been risking their lives fighting the bandits. I remembered hanging every single soldier myself, leaving their bodies for all to witness what their consequence would be if their actions were ever repeated.
“Please,” I remembered one of them pleaded. “I was only watching!”
He was only the watcher, I hung him last so he could watch the others die first.
Then I was again, at the front of the battlefield. The black layer shed away, giving path to the white, coiling around me like snakes. Every enemy that came in front of me was left dead on the ground. I came to realize that eventually my own troops had stopped fighting. They were too scared to approach the storm that surrounded me, as swords and spears flew across the air, gaining speed as the battle went on.
Once more, the scenery shifted. The nameless girl from Malcolm’s cave sat on the ground, blood trailing from her throat. A quick painless death was all she wanted. So a quick painless death was what I had given her. A reminder of just how powerless, useless and incapable I once was.
All these painful memories, suddenly emerged all at once like they had been riled up from within. And as sudden as it was, I snapped out of the illusion. I grabbed Kasumi’s throat, forcing her onto the ground. Catching my breath, my sweat dripped down her hands as it travelled under my jaw.
“Get out of my head,” I whispered coldly.
She was stunned into silence, and as I let go of her she stood up. I put my back up against the wall, keeping my eyes on her. She did the same.
“Unexpected,” she whispered under her breath.
“What was that?” I scowled under my breath. “What did you do to me?”
“I was… trying to see what kind of person you were underneath.”
“Why?” I shouted. I was trying not to raise my voice so that I didn’t draw attention, but it was becoming more difficult.
“Because you seem unhinged. Someone that’s hovering between life and death. Like you’re being haunted by a ghost. ”
“What are you on about?” I still had her pinned onto the ground. It was getting extremely uncomfortable, having to hold her like this. It felt wrong.
“One of the many things a kitsune like me can do…” she began, speaking quietly. “Is to see into your desires. Everywhere I go, I see the same thing in all men. They look at women, and think they get away with having a bit of fun. I can see it in every man that walks down this street, every man that walks into this building and every man that leaves this district when morning comes. What would a man be doing here other than to seek the pleasures of the flesh?”
“So what?”
“From you… I feel nothing. You don’t want anything. You don’t feel anything. For a moment, I thought that you were one of us, and that’s why I couldn’t see into your mind,” her hand moved from beneath my face to my cheeks. I was too shaken to remove them from me. “But no… you’re just screwed up in the head. You’re not half-animal, but you’re not fully human either. You don’t belong here. And I think that you believe that you’re like this because of the war, because of what it’s done to you. You’re wrong. Your problem is simpler than you think it is.”
My breathing relaxed.
“You’re not haunted by the war, you miss it.”