It took six entire years. Six whole years passed by in an instant, starting from the night that my childhood died. I had become a soldier. A leader. A survivor.

A conqueror.

We took over every village and city that we could, saving them from starvation and the iron first that held them down. Liberating city after city, I had become completely accustomed to war. The bodies piled up. The deaths only grew exponentially. Sometimes I wondered, was I doing the right thing? I had to be, right?

As the dust gathered on top my feet, and the blood washed it away, I wondered if there was some other way that I could have done this. Yet whenever I began to doubt myself the world only gave me another reason to keep doing what I did.

I watched limbless children hang for trees, impaled by the branches. I saw women torn apart, raped and hung on display. I saw men branded, enslaved and tortured and left to die on the streets. I crawled through floors, hiding among the pillars that supported the ceiling, watching the nobility put a price on slaves. When doubt began to cloud my judgement, I only had to look upon what had been done to these people to be reminded of why I did all of this. Even if it means I have to play the villain.

Tens of thousands fell each battle as we drew closer to Visereal. Innocent people died, even though I tried my best to protect them. Under my power I made sure no women, children or elderley were harmed. But my power only did so much.

Each night became more restless, and I grew accustomed to all the blood and gore. I got used to the smell of burning flesh, waking up in the morning up smelling the rusty air that carried the stench of blood and death. Looking at the aftermath of battles didn’t cause me nausea anymore. Ever since that day when I marched on Avalon, things had changed for me. I had enough of trying to believe in the world. So I believed in myself.

Nobunaga rallied troops to his side, inspiring confidence and hope as the last heir to the throne, the son of Marvin Morgenstein, royal blood of Visereal. He had grown significantly taller, and although he wasn’t as combat capable as the rest of us he had grown much more powerful than before.

Delilah pulled strings, using her network of spies and birds in order to retrieve information. Coin and whispers were exchanged, and using her knowledge we gained an edge over the enemy that would otherwise be unobtainable.

Ivan rode into combat to back me up, using his unbreakable spear to deflect arrows, protecting his allies and inspired the very image of courage, bravery, invincibility. Even when surrounded by many, he fought. The more he was surrounded, the more powerful he became. For he was the Red Rider, the very embodiment of war.

Lucy stood far back, waiting for the right time to strike. Hungering for mana, she was like a volatile bomb. Fire was the most common type of magic, but her flames were so powerful they turned a shade of blue that absorbed the heat out of every living creature. She was famine, for she burned the enemies' resources, sieging with perfect planning and smoking them out like rats. She was the Black Rider, the most powerful sorceress the very image of famine.

Eileen could not be seen on the battlefield, rushing across the enemy’s blind spots and appearing at their back. No assassin was her rival, for she was far too lethal and fast. Her bloodlust would often kill those that had already lost their will, and those that remained would succumb to her poisons and smokes as they were surprised by her presence. She was the Pale Rider, the vessel of death.

Delilah, spymaster kept us on our toes. The moment that new information was available it would be sent to us through a familiar, as soon as possible. Her network of invisible sparrows would keep us in the loop, giving us the greatest possible advantage - information.

Nobunaga was the strategist. One of the sharpest and greatest minds that I knew, he would have a plan for every occasion. Unpredictable, sometimes he would send Ivan marching through the front gates without much thought. Maybe he would siege a castle, using Lucy’s flames to burn the enemy supplies to starve them out even faster. He might send Eileen to watch a spy, swapping out letters and replacing the spy with one of our own. Once, he sent me inside a large wooden horse as a gift of peace. Of course, I agreed to the plan and by the time they were in their beds, I ripped my flesh and squeezed through the shackles, walking out without much problem. They never even heard the gates opening as I quietly eliminated the archers on the walls. When I asked him why he used such a tactic, he told me that he read a book called the Aeneid.

“We’ll take back this kingdom,” he would always say to me. “No matter the cost. I won’t let the same thing happen again. Not here, and not anywhere else in Elysium.”

I always walked into battle alone, for I needed no allies. I started the battle coated in black, but always ended up succumbing to the pure white insanity that corroded away at my emotions. I destroyed my enemies, slaughtering thousands mercilessly. I gave my enemies no painless death, often choosing to make an example. In my prime I was regarded as the youngest and most powerful of the Kingsguard, guardians of the king. Although I doubted that was true.

We were at the nearest city, Karset. I stood outside the cages, where the beastmen were contained. Nearly all of the ones alive were women and children. . I stood outside, handing out food and water to them. By now we had tried our best to re-establish trade and diplomacy between the cities that we had conquered, and although it was a flimsy system, it worked for the short term.

“Sir,” one of the nobles that helped us approached me. “What are you doing?”

“Feeding the prisoners,” I answered without looking at him.

“And why are you doing that?” he sounded annoyed.

“Because they’re hungry.”

“Why even bother wasting resources on them? They’re prisoners.”

“So?” I looked up.

“They’re not important, we can throw them to the men for comfort-”

I snapped upwards, appearing right in front of him. Suddenly he wasn’t so talkative anymore.

“I suggest…” I leaned into his ear, whispering quietly. “That you never say that again.”

“But- but- but Nobunaga left me in charge of the prisoners,” he stammered.

I leaned back, staring at him. He was slightly taller than me. I put one hand on his shoulder, and exert enough force for him to fall to his knees. He gulped as I turned my hand around, placing the back of it onto his shoulder.

“Do you feel in charge?” I whispered.

“I-I-I’ll take my leave,” he bowed as he got up, nearly tripping as he ran out.

“You can come out now,” I whispered. Delilah came out from the corridor, along with her two assassins. She smiled at me as she came.

“Ready?” she asked.

I drew my sword, cutting through the metal bars with ease. The bars fell onto the floor, and both women and children inside began shouting before realizing that they were being released.

I went over, kneeling on the ground. I put my weapons on the floor, and raised my arms.

“You can come out now,” I explained. “We’re taking you somewhere else.”

“Where?” one of them at the front asked.

“Outside of this country.”

“Why? Who are you?”

“I’m nobody. This is just what I do.” I stood up, urging them to hurry. “This is no place for beastmen like you.”

“How can we trust you?” she asked. Ironically they had just been eating the food I gave them moments ago. All of a sudden they didn’t want to listen to me. I picked up my sword, walking into the cage. The prisoners backed off as I placed my sword into the woman’s hand. Her fox ears flew up in surprise as I pointed the tip at my throat.

“Go on then,” I whispered. “Kill me.”

Her hand shook, and for a moment I almost thought that she was about to thrust. Blood dripped down the blade, but she lowered it. She stood up, leaving the cage. Others followed, and soon only one was left inside the cage. A young girl, just old enough to take care of herself.

“Thank you mister,” she grabbed my arm. “You’re a good person!” she exclaimed. I just stared at her as she made her way out of the cage.

“That should be all of them,” Delilah came closer to the cage, her two assassins guiding the beastmen out of here.

“Thank you,” I said without much emotion. “Again.”

“No worries,” Delilah waved the little kid goodbye, smiling before she turned back to me. “So.”

“Yeah?”

“The final battle is upon us.”

“Indeed.”

“How’re you feeling?”

“The same.”

“And what does that mean?”

“I don’t know.”

“Eh, at this rate I don’t think anyone will ever know how you’re feeling, Magnus,” she pouted.

“What’s wrong with that?”

“Nothing in particular, just curious.”

“I see.”

She looked around, seemingly bored standing around in this environment. I walked her out, remaining silent as we did so.

“And there they go. They'll leave, and be free once more,” Delilah commented.

“As it should be.”

“That’s right.”

We stood by the side as the prisoners were put on carriages destined to leave the kingdom. The drivers had been paid handsomely several times already, and Delilah had put her eyes on him. He was reliable enough to be trusted with this task, that was for sure.

“Can’t believe it’s going to be over soon,” she sighed. “All of that, in less than a decade.”

“Thankfully,” I added.

“It would have taken even longer if we didn’t have you,” she smiled.

“I doubt that.”

“Seriously? You took over all the western cities and villages yourself. They didn't even hear about Ivan until the bards arrived from halfway across the land.”

I suppose that was true. We arrived at a small house, possibly her current residence. She opened the door and let me in, and we took a seat in what appeared to be the kitchen.

“The first time I ever met you,” she changed the topic. “I didn’t think that we would be able to trust you.”

“Obviously not.”

“But times have changed.”

“Indeed.”

“It’s just… a shame.”

“What is?”

“Before, you felt human. There was a desire to live, to fight so that you can see the dawn of another day.”

“And now?”

“Nothing,” she raised her arms dramatically. “I sense nothing from you. It’s like you’re a ghost.” She began waving frantically. It slowed down, and then came to a complete halt. “Six years. I watched you fight on that battlefield. Every battle you came back with wounds that would have sent the nurses screaming. Your eyes were so still and reactionless, I thought you had died sitting up. Then your wounds slowly but surely closed up and your skin turned silky smooth again. And I wonder, just how much pain do you go through everyday?”

Reading on this site? This novel is published elsewhere. Support the author by seeking out the original.

She looked down at the ground now.

“And I wonder, did I create a soldier, or did I kill a child?” she whispered.

I looked at her. It was strange. During these five years we’ve had conversations before, but it was never personal. It was always regarding a mission or something that needed to be done. Perhaps she was feeling emotional since tomorrow was the long awaited day. Tomorrow would be the day when we had won back Visereal, and Nobunaga would be able to reclaim the throne as the one true king.

She poured me a cup of wine. “You didn’t do anything wrong,” I looked at the table. “By the time you found me I was already screwed up in the head anyways. At least when I met you, I found something to direct my anger at. Something that would make the world a better place before I leave it.”

She looked up a moment before chugging down her drink, and once again refilled it.

“Does it have anything to do with what happened before you met us?”

I didn’t answer. I simply gazed out the window.

“You’ve never told anyone what you were doing before you became the White Rider, have you?” she asked the same question, phrased differently.

“No one needs to know,” I answered.

Delilah stared at me intensely. She stood up, walking to my side. She had only grown more beautiful as the years had passed. When I first met her she was a young adult, now she was nothing less than a highborn beauty. She went around my chair, placing her hand on my shoulders. As her hands slid down my shoulders and to my chest, I tripped back into memory lane. It happened whenever I felt too close to a woman. I was dragged back into that cave with the nameless girl. I watched that scene over and over again, like a broken record. Her face as several men hunched over her, taking turns. Over and over again. Days passed in seconds. An entire month passed before I came out of that hell.

I began hypervenelating, cold sweat dripped from my face, as Delilah let go, taking a seat in front of me once again.

“So it’s true,” she observed. She seems sad. “You have problems with women.”

“I’m sorry,” I breathed out.

“Don’t be,” she passed me a cup, pouring water this time. I reached for it, gulping it down instantly. My mouth had suddenly felt parched.

“Maybe when you feel like it… we can talk about it,” she smiled. “That’s if you want to, that is.”

It was strange. Like I said, up until this point we only talked to each other about certain matters. Specifically situations where I wanted to get beastmen out of the country to somewhere safer, something we had been doing for a while. We seemed to share the same morality, which was why I often went to her for help when I needed something, which was sort of rare. On the other hand, she always came to me when she needed help because not only did I owe her favors, but knowing that I had the same moral compass as her, she felt reassuring asking me to run errands for her. Sometimes it was to get rid of someone. Sometimes to get rid of evidence. Sometimes to collect information in the stead of her spies. I never questioned her.

But never had I thought that we would be anything on the level of friends. Nothing personal like that. And tonight, that prejudice had seemed to have fallen apart.

“I should get going,” I stood up to leave.

“Take care.”

* * *

I headed out, still confused about her sudden switch in personality. Strange times were upon us.

I shifted up several streets, eventually ending up where I was staying. Walking inside, I could tell that there was at least someone still awake. A loud snore echoed from above. Ivan was most definitely asleep.

At the very middle of the room was Nobunaga, busy sketching on maps and looking through papers at a rather rapid rate.

“Ah, Magnus,” he looked up as I entered the room. “How’re you doing?”

“The same.”

“I see,” he sighed, leaning back on his chair. “As per usual?” he asked.

“Alright.”

He took out a chess board and I took a seat. He enjoyed small games like this in between doing his work. These days he was particularly stressed since we were so close to ending the war.

“Whose turn is it to use the white pieces?” he asked.

“Yours.”

Usually our games went along with a conversation.

“How was your day?” he asked.

“The same.”

“Are the beastmen safe?”

“They’re being taken out of the country now.”

“That’s good. How’s Delilah doing?”

“Sleeping. She seemed a bit out of her usual self today.”

“She hasn’t been sleeping at all these days. She’s having difficulty keeping in touch with her contact inside Visereal.”

“Possibility that she’s dead?” I raised an eyebrow.

“Fairly high.”

I didn’t comment on that statement.

“She deserves a break,” Nobunaga sighed, making the first move.

“What’re your plans after the war?” he asked.

“I’m not sure.”

“Want to stay in the military for me?” he smiled.

“It’s not like I have anything else to do.”

“You’ll be a war hero.”

“In a time of peace. Hopefully.”

“I’ll help you find something else to do.”

“That’d be nice.”

“Everything changes after tomorrow.”

“Yeah.”

“I can’t believe we’re so close to the end.”

I agreed, although I didn’t say it aloud. It had been half a decade, but it felt like mere moments had passed. All the while, we continued playing. As much of a bookworm I was, Nobunaga was clearly the better strategist. He was the one that was usually behind our backlines, plotting our next move and predicting each and everyone one of the enemy’s steps. Although he wasn’t blessed with a stronger body, he had been blessed with a powerful mind. It was no different in chess.

“Thank you,” he stopped making moves.

“For?”

“Sticking with me until the very end.”

“It was the right thing to do.”

“I’ve seen the things you do on the battlefield. I’ve seen the things you do to keep everyone in line. To remind them that even if they are our soldiers, that if they dare to lay a hand on a woman or child, that you’ll hang them with their own entrails. I’m thankful that I have someone like you. I’ve respected your privacy and your personal life as you don’t seem like the sharing type, but now I’d like to throw that away.”

Even Nobunaga had changed. He always looked to me for help and guidance. He valued my advice and words as much as he valued Delilah’s, a great privilege. And as sad as it sounded, they were my only friends in the world. The only people I could go to, because for six long years, I had been fighting alongside them. I believed in them just as much as they believed in me. Otherwise I wouldn’t have been here.

“You sound far too formal,” I made my next move.

“Respect between friends,” he played a move instantly.

“And I’d like to ask you to throw that away.”

“Fair enough,” he chuckled. “You know, all the girls say that you would be more approachable if you smiled. And I agree with them.”

“You’re not trying to approach me, are you?”

“Of course not! But still you should think about settling down. After all, the war will be over tomorrow.”

“I’ll think about it.”

He laughed. Although I didn’t smile, I was amused. Nobunaga was a strange person. He had the blood of nobility, but grew up amidst poverty. He had my respect for finding the will to do all of this. And of course, he was one of the very few people that I could regard as a friend.

Our conversation and game continued for quite a while. A lamp to keep us company, some water to keep our thirst quenched was all that was needed to keep us up during the night.

I picked up my king, surrendering it as I found no more moves. He smiled as I cleaned up the pieces. As much as Nobunaga and Delilah had talked about it, I just couldn’t seem to bring myself to be happy or excited about tomorrow. For me it was simply the end of my long journey. A journey that in some ways I had been forced into, and in some ways I had chosen to traverse upon. There was just something off putting though, and I didn’t really understand why I felt that way when I should be celebrating the fulfillment of our long awaited dream.

* * *

The final day was upon us. We marched upon Visereal, ready for war. Our banners raised up and the horns blared behind us. We walked to the very front, the soldiers getting out as the six of us approached the gate.

“Magnus,” Nobunaga called out.

Everyone but me stopped, and a thick haze began to surround me. It grew larger and larger, storming to create a titan that protected me. Its movements were slow, but carried a heavy weight with it.

The soldiers watched with respect and fear as I marched alone on Visereal’s walls, the colossus slamming down the gates with brute force. There was barely any resistance from the enemy. In fact, there was no resistance. There was nobody manning the ballistae on the walls, in fact, it seemed like there was nobody to guard the entrance. Confused, I walked inside, the titan I had created fading away. Out of the corner of my eye, I saw a child around the corner. I dashed towards him, appearing by his side.

I knelt down, he was far too scared to run.

“Where’s everyone?” I asked him.

“They… they…” he fumbled on his own words.

“Take your time, there’s no rush,” I assured him. I knelt on the ground, trying not to make any large movements.

It took a moment, but the child managed to speak. “Yesterday they said that they’ll take all the food, and ever since all of them went back to the castle, we hadn’t seen any of the soldiers.”

“Alright, thank you. Are you hungry?” he was noticeably thin, but not the worst I had seen.

“Yes…”

“Don’t worry, help is on the way,” I assured him. “Do you live nearby?”

“Yes, I do!”

“Hide. Protect yourself. No matter what you have to do.”

I watched him scurry away, and behind a couple of houses I could hear the opening of a door and the closing of it.

I rendevouz with everyone else, soldiers pouring into the city, some carrying weapons while others carried food and water.

“Where’s everyone?” Nobunaga asked, just as surprised as I was.

“Apparently all of them took the people’s food and are holed up in the castle,” I answered. “Meaning that we just have to focus our attack there.”

“The fools,” Ivan snickered. “At least they’re not using the people as shields.”

“It should be… easy then,” Eileen turned, nodding to her assassins. They all disappeared in a flash, the shadows coiling at the ground where they stood.

“Let’s go then, what’re we waiting for?” Lucy walked up to us.

All of us began walking up the stairs to the long awaited final battle. Hundreds of soldiers barged up, the sound of our feet tapping on the stone echoed through the ghost town. And as we arrived at the castle, it was the largest I had ever seen. Tall, ancient and hauntingly beautiful. Large symbols were etched into the stone walls, and even though its old age was obvious the way that it had been maintained clearly showed.

Again, I created a titan form. The same large figure appeared behind me, and it pushed the doors open. I could feel resistance from behind. I pushed harder, and slowly but surely the doors began to swing open. With one last push, I shoved it with all my might and the barricade that they had put up behind fell apart, leaving the entrance wide open. Hundreds of enemy soldiers stood behind the gate, panicking and shouting as I went in. We poured inside, slaughtering everyone that tried to fight back. Within minutes the enemy had surrendered.

Within the next hour, we had completely taken the castle.

I walked with Nobunaga, Ivan, Eileen, Lucy and Nobunaga into the throne room. It was massive, large, at the centerpiece of the castle. It wasn’t anything like I had expected. It was grim, gray and dull, like it had been carved from a rock. However what stood out to me was the fact that it was radiating power. Mana spiraled around it, in a somewhat twisted way. I didn’t like it.

“And now we return to the beginning.”

“What?” I asked in my head.

There was no response. All I knew was there something was amiss, something that I couldn’t do anything about. It made me feel nervous about this whole place.

For some reason Lucy didn’t bring it up. I assumed that she had already known about it.

And just like that, as we stood still in awe at the throne, it was all over. Years and years of fighting. It had all been for this moment.

They cheered, they hugged and we were happy. After years, they had finally achieved what we had sought out to do.

Save this kingdom, and take back the throne.

“We did it,” Nobunaga whispered. “We actually did it.”

“It’s finally over,” Lucy smiled.

We walked back out, we were only there to check every room in the castle. Nobunaga stares intensely at the throne, almost like he was in a trance. A moment later he shook his head, and came out with the rest of us.

The soldiers in the hallway cheered.

“Start distributing food, start cleaning this shit up!” Ivan shouted. “It’s time to start anew!”

Morale was high, and everyone got to work.

I, on the other hand, was feeling quite… the same.

I didn’t feel any joy.

I wasn’t crying out in happiness.

I was simply… alright with the result.

It had been over six years since that night. I didn’t feel like I had changed since then, rather it felt like I was stuck in the past. I walked down the empty hallways, wondering what the hell I was going to do next.

I was what some would call a war hero.

If only they could see the trail of blood, the mountain of bodies and hear the voices inside my head. I was no hero.

The cheers turned to me, and a new, final name was born from the end of the war.

The Vanguard of Visereal.

They cheered and called out my new title, looking for me.

I retreated to the hallways, wandering about.

“You surprise me. All I did was lay the foundations. I granted you power, and I wanted to see what a human would do when fate takes everything they have, sticks their face down into the mud and breaks his bones. And you certainly didn’t disappoint. You slaughtered an entire kingdom to make your ideals a reality. Well played. And now, you have nothing.”

He was right. I had nothing now.

What was I to do next?

Peace was no place for a soldier like me.

With purpose lost, I no longer had a reason to continue living.

And from that second, the dragon inside of me went into a deep slumber. Awaiting for the next war.