The next morning, the sunlight was the first thing to hit my eyelids. Slowly, arousing from my dream, I found myself in the comfiest of things. Who knew I had somehow found a bed in all this mess? Though slowly, I realized Alijah was under me in his wolf form.

I could not tell if I was still in the same dream. His fur was soft as in my dream, though. Yawning, I slowly stretched before sitting up. Only when the chilly morning breeze hit me was when I noticed I was still baring it all.

Feeling my movements, Alijah stood up from his position. I was unaware, but he had been awake for a while. For a moment, I gazed at him, sliding off him and onto the rocks. He went to grab my bag before bringing it to me. Placing it in front of me, my wolf sat down and stared at me.

My slow brain function did not realize what was happening. It was not long before he tilted his head, releasing a small chuckle. At that moment, my eyes widened, lighting up my face worse than a firework. All of it had been real.

I slept on him... naked!

Another realization formed, too. While even though he was in his wolf form, he was also nude. His clothes were in the peripheral of my vision. My heart quickly reminded me it was still in place. It felt like it wanted to bolt out of me. I grabbed my bag and ran faster than I ever had with my humanoid legs.

Luckily, all the blisters from the prior day were gone. Finding a bush nearby to hide in, I wished it would consume me. I really did.

Arg, what the fuck am I thinking? I’m not thinking at all that is my problem. Rem, you stupid fuck!

“Seems you finally grew a brain, little luma.” Alijah teased from the riverbank.

I felt like I wanted to melt.

Why is he being like this?!?!

“Maybe helping me dress would have eased your eyes!” I growled, thinking he meant my body was unpleasing.

I searched in the bag for my spare clothes. I would need to get a new bag too; thanks to the bloodstains it had gained. My mind raced, looking for distractions from my current predicament. Though it was troublesome how those raiders had all the equipment.

Iris... Sedatives... How did they gain it? Cerberus? Is there a smuggler within the organization?

Well, not like it mattered. If they were following me. Surely, they would stumble to that cave. Alijah would not allow me to continue that thought, though.

“Eh, that is not my problem,” Alijah complained from behind the bush.

Seemed like he was back to his old self.

Thank god. Wait... did I slip last night? I... I... think I didn’t. Wait, Did I? Arg... I’m an idiot. A big stupid moron. Why was I born without a brain!?!?

My nerves were getting the best of me.

“You colossal fool,” I mumbled to myself, wanting to slam my head into the tree next to me.

Maybe then I would get a clue or two. Though Alijah thought I directed it to him instead. Lycans and their stupid hearing abilities!

“What?” Alijah mumbled.

I growled, not having the patience to deal with him. But... maybe I did not slip. He was not acting any differently. In fact, it was more normal than yesterday.

“Not you!” I yelled at him, annoyed that he did not help me more last night.

Although it was not his fault, but my own. At least he kept me warm all night. After all, I did not wake up once without shivering.

Why did he…

‘I think the wolf barely slept a wink last night.’ A ghost floated by me.

I tried to not read much into its comment. Come to think of it, I had seen little of them now that Alijah was radiating his aura around. That thought about the grump not sleeping a wink the previous night… He was probably worried about me. That had to be it. Otherwise, it would not make sense to me.

Leaving my hidey-hole, Alijah was already dressed in the extra clothes I had gotten him. Everything fit him so nicely, too. Clearing my throat, I walked over to him while his crimson orbs followed me. I had left my shoes back where I shifted, so I was barefoot for the foreseeable future.

“I am going to find out where we are,” I mumbled, not wanting to gaze at him directly.

He chuckled, enjoying himself. I guess my reactions somewhat amused him. Trying to not think of all the stupid things I said the previous day. I took out the little GPS device from the bag, attempting to figure out where we were.

However, Alijah grabbed me by my waist and pulled me towards him before I could sit. He had heard my tummy was growling. I... we had eaten nothing in more than a day.

“Do you want me to catch us something to eat?” Alijah asked.

What he said piqued my interest. I turned to him, feeling famished. Hunger was the one thing that would make me face him with no resistance or shame. It seemed my expression was the only answer he needed, as he nodded, telling me to stay put.

Shifting back into his wolf form, he ran towards the forest. I closed the map and placed my headphones on. With him gone, the unsought of comments would return shortly. Instead of letting myself fall prey to them, I went to look for sticks to start a fire. It was daylight, making it easier for me to find everything I needed.

By the time Alijah was back with two bunnies he had caught, the fire was set and going. Placing them near the fire, Alijah shifted back to his humanoid form, grabbing a knife from his bag. We had gotten one before we left Luxon. When he was preparing them to be eaten, he made it seem so easy.

Well, compared to what happened when Dad made me do it. Wanting to be useful, I went to heat water for us to store in our pouches. However, something stopped me as I gazed at the reflection in the running river. There was something off about it.

Darkness still radiated from me, while I could not take my eyes from my image.

‘Murderer...’ Someone murmured in my mind.

The imagery of yesterday’s events swelled within me, freezing me in place. Unaware of my predicament, Alijah came next to me to wash his hands in the river. He had finished placing the prepped bunnies in the fire.

That was when he noticed a faint dark aura coming from me the moment he turned around to face me. Instantly, he took off my headset, calling for me. Luckily, his voice snapped me out of it.

“Sorry...” I mumbled, not knowing what happened.

Slowly, I bent down to fill the small pot with water. It was not like I felt guilt or was it? No, I did not feel bad, but empty.

“Hey... talk to me,” Alijah said, grabbing onto my shoulder.

I felt like this needed to stop. My emotions were becoming a mess, and I could not handle him being like this with me.

It will make me misunderstand.

Of course, I could not come out and say that either.

“I am fine. Really, I promise.” I smiled.

Sadly, I could tell he did not believe a word that came out of my mouth. Though what he thought was wrong with me was not correct.

“Rem, the first ones are always the hardest.” Alijah tried to comfort me.

It did the opposite. My heart ached at his attempt. I had to stop this kindness. If this kept up, I would not have been able to hold off my emotions. All I wanted to be was his friend, but it seemed it was painful too.

“This is not the first time I have killed. I am fine, really. It’s just something I struggle with.” I informed.

I knew it would be the same as yesterday, though. So instead of waiting for his question, I continued.

“... A witch cursed me when I was born. It makes me lose myself to blood lust if I use any of my power.” I sighed.

He seemed confused by that.

“Shouldn’t your connection to the red moon protect you from curses?” Alijah asked, bewildered by what I had said.

Technically, he was correct. Though Edna did not play fair.

“Nope. Not from this one. The witch that cursed me used a relic from the gods and the life of a Lycan to cast it. So, I am kind of stuck with it until she croaks.” I shrugged, placing the pot on the fire.

Alijah unexpectedly grabbed my shoulder, concentrating his aura on me to find the curse. I glanced up at him, amazed by what he was trying to do.

A fool… But one I love.

My Lycan half resonated with him. His eyes were glowing, triggering my left to do so as well.

“I don’t feel it in you,” Alijah noted.

I sighed, shaking my head. He was stronger than dad, but it seemed this wolf was no exception.

“Only activates in specific moments. And you won’t be able to feel it either way. Her curse got warped with my magic too.” I shrugged, feeling moved that he genuinely seemed to want to help me.

He really was dooming me to love him for an eternity.

“Maybe the elves can help,” Alijah suggested, trying to find a way for me to be free.

I simpered at his effort to help me out of this. Of course, he was unaware of everything that was done to me already.

“Mom and Dad already tried. Sadly, only if she croaks will I be free. Mom is hunting her to the ends of the earth, too. She is an eternal witch.” I chuckled, trying to not allow his affection to affect me.

This was all superficial. It had to be. Eternal witches were monsters that could control time. Usually, they would freeze time for their bodies, but no one knew the extent of their power. They had been hunted down long ago, but it seemed some of them still existed.

“What is her name?” He asked.

I bit onto my lip as he sat down next to me.

“Edna,” I replied, feeling only hate when her name left my mouth.

She had ruined my life, and that was something I could never forgive. He grumbled to himself before continuing.

“Edna... It sounds familiar.”

I nodded, knowing she was the reason he was here.

“It should. She was the crazy bitch that broke you out of that prison. Not that I dislike the fact that she broke you out. I am glad she did. But sadly, she also wants to control you.” I smiled, feeling happy that Edna had freed him from his eternal cage.

I guess she was not so bad. After all, it gave Alijah the chance to be happy. To be loved by me and his past lover, which we would save from Edna’s clutches. The eternal witch had ripped Mom’s past life memories from her. This had happened the same day I was born.

We suspected it was to revive the elven Lilith to use her to control Alijah. Something I would have to inform him of. Especially if I wanted to stop these emotions from breaking out.

“You are happy she broke me out?” The curious wolf mumbled, getting close to me.

I knew the end was coming soon. After all, I did not want to hide anything from him anymore. Especially anything that was about his Lilith. The moment I mentioned his love, it would all be over for me. I would be nothing but a platonic pass time to him, which was good.

It would set my emotions straight once and for all. Just because he was my soul mate did not mean I was his. It happened to grandma and aunty Amelia too.

“Yes, I am,” I whispered, hoping to hide how pleased I was to be beside him.

Edna had made me happier than he would ever know.

“You are a strange one, little Rem.” Alijah chuckled, gazing up at the trees.

The wind had picked up a bit, making them shake. As they swayed, colorful leaves fell onto the ground. It was fall in Celestelia.

“What do you mean, she wants to control me?” He added soon after.

Here is the end for us. Not that we were ever meant to be, right?

“I don’t know what she wants to do with you, but she has the means to do it now,” I informed.

I tried to shut my heart to ready myself for how he would react to that.

“What?” the wolf mumbled, unable to understand.

After all, how would a witch control him? The only reason I had him in my clutches was that the red moon also influenced me. I took a moment to drown the desire to backtrack. I could not hide this from him any longer. We had to go forward.

After all, my wolf seemed to place some trust in me. I could never tarnish it. Perhaps he would believe me when I said I wanted his happiness and to save them both.

“Hey... Alijah, what would you do if you could have the person you love the most back?” I countered his question with one of my own.

He released a nervous chuckle, not sure if to believe what I was saying. Though for the first time, I was serious. I glanced at him, and my expression told him everything he needed to know.

“Anything...” he answered.

I closed my eyes, steadying my heart.

“Exactly. We would do anything to have the person we love with us,” I mumbled, taking out the map to distract myself.

Alijah grabbed it out of my hands and forced me to face him. His expression was one of pure solemnity.

“Wait... you mean she can bring Lilith back from the dead?” He questioned me.

I took a deep breath, trying so hard to fight the urge to lie to him. I wanted to keep him all to myself, but that was not how this story would end. No, this man would be with the one he loved. That was all he deserved. While I would finally be free from this love and my prison.

It hurt, though... I never knew it would hurt so much to have the man I had dreamt about for years pick another.

Ah... it is all for his happiness. I will give the world to you for that, Alijah.

“Yes... she could. I don’t know how, but her wickedness will find a way.” I answered him.

In an instant, he growled loudly. Taking off the pot from the fire to prevent any accidents, I expected Alijah to lose it.

“And you took me away from that chance?” he almost snapped.

I stood up and faced him head-on. This would be the moment where I hoped my heart would close as much as he was locked off to me. I had hoped to tell him about her would do so, but... it was not what I truly desired.

However, I would be selfless just this once. This entire journey started because of my selfishness, now... At this moment, all of that would change.

“No... I took you away from my family. I plan to find Edna and kill her. And when I do, your love will be back with you somehow. I don’t know how I will do that, but I will. That is another promise I make to you, Alijah.” I bowed my head to him.

This tale has been unlawfully lifted from Royal Road. If you spot it on Amazon, please report it.

My response to him seemed to throw him off. He probably expected me to argue with him rather than give him my word to help him. Well, I never did as he thought either way.

“Rem... why?” He mumbled my name, unable to understand how a being like me could even exist.

A person like me... I was selfish... that was all I was. I hoped he would see who I really was.

“I don’t want you to destroy the world or be anyone’s puppet. So, trust me when I say I want what is best for you.” I simpered.

Your happiness is all I wish for at the end of this journey. That and my freedom.

He glanced down at the ground for a moment before gazing back at me. I was extraordinary in his eyes. A first...

“I trust you, Rem.” Alijah smiled, softening his gaze.

I reached my hand towards him like I did the night of the lake.

“Good to be your partner then.” I smiled, feeling happy it turned out this way.

The worse would have been him hating me for hiding my true intentions. He shook his head, grabbing onto my hand. My tail wagged uncontrollably. Even though it would be painful, I would be his friend.

“You really are something, Rem. Okay... we are partners.” Alijah smiled back.

With this, it would be over. I would be just that. The annoying girl that took him to his love. Before I could let go of his hand, though, Alijah pulled me towards him. The sudden motion caused me to fall onto him.

Luckily, I caught myself by grabbing onto his shoulder with my free hand.

Is he trying to tease me?

“That was dangerous,” I growled at him.

Even though I was annoyed, I froze when I saw his expression. It was so gentle.

Why is he looking at me like that?

I wanted to call his name, but instead of doing so; I stayed silent. He grabbed my chin, though.

“I guess so,” Alijah whispered, pulling me to meet my lips with his.

The warmth that radiated within me was astonishing. My eyes widened as he closed his.

What is happening?

My mind could not keep up when his tongue licked my bottom lip. The reason they opened was that I gasped when his hand grabbed the base of my tail, though. When my mouth gave him access, his tongue invaded mine.

The way his soft member touched mine stole my breath away. I could have stopped him. Bitten his tongue off. Yet I could not give this moment of warmth away. It had to be a dream.

Have I not woken up yet?

The wolf had stolen my heart once again. In an instant, he played with my inexperienced tongue while his lips curved into a sly smile. I did not know how long it had been when he separated from me.

A trail of saliva connected us before he licked his lips to cut it off. His cheeks were pink when he took a step back from me, walking over to the riverbank. The wolf left me shocked by his actions. My lips... burned.

“Why?” I mumbled, barely able to think straight.

I gazed at Alijah, full of hope that I might mean something to him.

Why will he not let me give up? Why did he do that to me?

He had just learned that we could bring his lover back. Yet he went and did that instead.

Why isn’t he colder towards me? Why did he tease me? Is this a test?

It had to be.

“You did that last time, to start a pact with me. So, this is the start of a new bond between you and me.” Alijah cleared his throat, trying to find his voice.

I felt a sting in my chest, triggering me to gaze down at the floor before sitting down. So that was what it was. There was no special meaning behind it yet I...

Why make it so intimate, Alijah? A little peck like I did that night would have been enough.

My poor heart was in disarray. I wanted to jump on him. Kiss him again feverously yet I could not, and it made me want to cry. If I did, I would not have been any better than all other females who attacked him.

“I see.” I acknowledge, trying to hold my emotions intact.

It was becoming a chore to do, but all that matter was his happiness. Mine... was nothing in comparison. All I needed was my freedom. Perhaps if I said it enough, it would be true.

Ah... my chest hurts more than ever.

While his gaze was stuck to the river, I traced my fingertips on my lip.

Shit... Fuck... Why? Why do I want more?!?!

“Your mom told me something before she sent me to this time. I thought she was bullshitting me, but funny enough, I think I found it.” Alijah chuckled, shaking his head in disbelief.

He was somewhat talking to himself. I did not know what he was going on about, though. But... it would have been weird if I stayed silent.

“What was that?” I asked, trying to steady my heart, only to get overly curious by what he had said.

Is it because of the news that he will see his Lilith again?

I mean, he knew how to find her now. That had to be it. Otherwise, I was clueless.

“That is for me to know and for you to find out, little Rem.” Alijah simpered, turning back towards me.

His cheeks were light pink. My heart stopped for a moment as I shook off my insecurities. That expression was everything I wanted to see him with.

Is he trying to get back at me for yesterday?

All the times that I said that seemed to have backfired. Though…

Can I have a small piece of his heart? Alijah... is that possible for me? Is that what this kiss meant?

“Ah... Challenge accepted!” I smirked, pointing at him decisively.

I gave in to the emotion swelling within me while he chuckled. He deserved to be like this always. Smiling and happy.

Lilith... she will do a good job at that, right? Make sure he never feels pain again. Only love. Please do that for him. It’s all he deserves!

“Okay, Rem,” Alijah chuckled.

I fought the urge to jump him by going back onto my map this time, to figure out where we were. Dad taught me all I knew about survival, even how to track myself on the map. Though it helped that it was digital, though I had removed the GPS and online settings, or else dad would have found me with ease.

It took me a bit, but I tracked down where we were. Alijah took the cooked bunnies off the fire and handed me one in a stick, preventing me from burning myself. The meal itself was dull compared to what I had before in the manor, but it was still the best. All because Alijah was next to me.

Though I had become a little more jittery around him. My heart could not control itself, no matter how hard I tried though. After we finished, I filled our containers with more fresh water for the trip ahead. There was a cave nearby the border that would let us go from Celestelia and into Azear, the ocean elf nation.

The cave used to be a popular tourist attraction hub from the elven side, but it was closed because of many deaths that happened. It was full of luxorite crystals that were used to block my mother’s emotions once long ago. Though the ones she had were changed and refined with magic.

The ones in the cave would devoid anyone of any emotions thanks to their raw energy. Luckily, they only reacted to strong ones. So, if we controlled ourselves while in there. We should have been fine.

The bad thing about pure luxorite was that exposure to the unrefined crystal would end in death. Well, if not treated soon after. Though this was why they abandoned the cave. Too many tourists would not stop themselves from touching them.

Even though it was dangerous, we had little choice. Anywhere else had checkpoints that needed passports to cross. This cave, though, was usually unguarded because of how dangerous it was. It also helped that hybrids lived on the other side of it either, so guards cared even less.

Though with Dad in charge, that could have changed. I could only hope it was unguarded. Before going there, I warned Alijah about the danger. Surprisingly, he knew about the ores, but they had an unfamiliar name in his time. Not that it mattered if we were aware of the dangers. This was the only way out of this nation for us.

Before leaving the camp, Alijah asked me to help him make his braid, much to my surprise. His hair was so long, soft, and silky that I struggled to not bury my face in it. I had done braids before on Vera, but this time it felt different. He liked a loose braid, so I tried to do my best to please him while not losing myself in a fantasy.

After all, I did not have to imagine how Alijah’s kisses felt anymore. Without really much control of it, my mind wandered towards a naughtier side. Luckily, I continued to make the unsuspecting wolf’s braid. Closing my eyes for a moment, I tried to not waver too much.

Though it would take Alijah calling me by my name for me to snap out of the naughty daydream. Fortunately, I was almost done when he handed me the ribbon, used to hold his braid together. It was red and made from moon elf silk, one of the softest materials out in our world. It made me wonder if Lilith was the one who gave it to him.

Ah... Alijah, you shouldn’t have kissed me.

Every thought was making me jealous of everything I could never have. Once done with his braid, I tied my hair into a ponytail while Alijah shifted into his beast form. There, he allowed me to climb onto him once again. This time I was less bare than the previous day.

Unfortunately, I was missing the shoes that we would have to buy in the next village we came by. Already knowing where to go, he bolted without a second thought towards our destination. Unlike the previous day, I could hold on to him better, allowing him to run at his usual speed.

Thanks to that it only took us a few hours to get to the abandoned luxorite cave. As I had suspected, there were no scents around making it abandoned. It was like the information found on the digital map said. Before getting there, I was worried Cerberus was patrolling since the data I had was downloaded before leaving Silverant.

Then again, we were on the hybrid side of the map. Hopefully, it had not become irrelevant as time went on. The important part was leaving Celestelia because, although it was safer for me, it was not for Alijah. Not only because of how hostile hybrids were to purebloods, but after what happened with the raiders. Without a doubt, someone must have already found our tracks.

The most likely culprits were my amazing brothers, Caden and Aiden. Although the fact I had no shoes would pose a problem for me in this cave. If I touched the crystals while barefooted, it would poison me without a doubt. Not that it mattered to me. Nothing scared me more than getting captured before I could prove Alijah was not a threat.

I hopped off my wolf’s back, allowing him to shift back to his humanoid form. Before going in, he grabbed onto my hand, triggering me to glance at him.

“Should I carry you on my back?” Alijah asked, looking at my bare feet.

His words had made me happy. He was worried about me, but it would have been impractical for him to carry me. Though his worries were probably only there because of the bond. After all, he had even more reason to care about it. His love was on the line now.

“No... it will only slow us down. We don’t want to be in there for too long, either. Even if they do not touch us, the crystals can still affect us. And as long as we follow the trail, we should be fine.” I smiled, appreciating his worries.

I grabbed tighter into his hand, taking out a luminescent lamp from my bag and placing it on my wrist. Unlike the raider’s base, this cave had no lighting, making it treacherous to traverse with no source of illumination. We were not vampires, so our sight in the dark was not the best.

“Don’t let go of me, okay?” I simpered.

His grip also tightened in response to my words.

“I won’t,” Alijah assured.

Without wasting another moment, we entered the cave. Just like he said, Alijah did not let go of my hand while I led him around the forsaken cave. Though, we quickly ran into trouble since part of the cave had collapsed, blocking the way out that tourists used.

Luckily, it was the quickest way out, but not the only way. However, it showed me the cave was unstable enough as it was. I did not want Alijah to worry, though. So, I neglected to tell him about it while we continued.

Though it seemed he suspected something was up. He seemed on guard. Hesitantly, we headed deeper into the cave. Suddenly, part of it gave away the moment I stepped into the new trail. Fortunately, I was holding onto Alijah’s hand, allowing him to pull me up. Holding onto his shirt, I tried to calm down.

I did not do well with falls. Although the cave had other plans for us than letting me get my cool back.

“Rem... we have to move.” Alijah declared; his ears twitched hearing things I could not perceive.

This was thanks to the human side that made my biology. Although my hearing was better than a human’s, not as good as a Lycan though. Taking his word to face value, I jumped the small gap while he followed along. Something had made the cave even more precarious, and we had not caused it.

A slight earthquake had occurred, thanks to a mining company nearby. It caused the cave to lose its integrity while they worked on their project to mine ores. That would be the only explanation that came through my mind.

Alijah and I ran through the collapsing parts of the cave, hoping to find the end. At one point, though, I lost my balance again when a jagged rock I did not see sliced my foot. Another harder earthquake hit at that point, too. Everything combined sent me over a cliff that was near the narrow path we were taking.

For a split second, pictures of my previous accident swelled. Alijah instinctively reached for me again. This time missing me by only an inch, just like my brothers had. However, instead of staying safe where he was, he jumped after me, breaking me from that memory. He engulfed me in his arms midair before we plunged into an underground river below.

My wolf held me tight onto his chest while the current dragged us deeper into the unknown. For a moment, I felt I was going to suffocate when his body suddenly glowed red, causing everything around us to disintegrate. This cleared a small breathing room for him and me.

For a few seconds, we could breathe freely. Sadly, the current quickly picked us up again, separating us for a moment as it dragged us into an underground lake. Once I was able to move freely, I headed for the top. Luckily, crystals were glowing, allowing me to see where it was.

When I surfaced, I could not fill my lungs quick enough, screaming for Alijah. My heart broke when I received only silence. He was nowhere to be seen. With no hesitation or care for my wellbeing, I dove back into the lake’s depths. This was the only place the current was not strong enough to carry anyone out.

He has to be here. Has to be!

Even though my small lamp could barely light up the murky water. I reached into the darkness, hoping to catch him. This would be a moment where the fates would have to guide me. Miraculously, I grabbed onto a hand within the blackness of the depths. Though it never hit me, it could have been the people who died here.

Without thinking about it twice, I pulled whoever it was up to the surface. Much to my luck, it was Alijah. However, he was unconscious, eyes shut. I was unaware, but he had protected me when the current picked us up again. It had caused him to hit his head on a rock while it swept us.

There were multiple cuts in his body. At that point, I knew it was because he protected me from the jagged rocks. After all, the only cut I had was from before we fell. Though... what was worse was that my beloved wolf was not breathing.

Using all of my strength, I dragged him onto the shore before I swiftly tried to resuscitate him. My heart was sent into a full panic when I noticed Alijah had no pulse. Instinctively, I did compressions before sealing my lips onto his and giving him oxygen. After two breaths, I compressed his chest again. Dad had taught me how to give first aid if I ever needed to.

Though... I was trying so hard to not cry and become a mess while doing so.

This is all my fault. My fucking fault.

“You can’t die here! Do you hear me?! You can’t!” I tried so hard to not break into a sob.

It was failing, though. Tears were already rolling off my cheeks.

“You can’t leave me!” I screamed, slamming my hands onto his chest.

There a purple shimmer radiated from his body. A second later, his eyes flew open, coughing out the water in his lungs. I broke. Everything had happened in less than two minutes, but it felt like hours to me.

Because of my cries, I did not even let him compose himself while I jumped into his arms. We were both soaked, but alive. Feeling his chest rise and fall gave me a comfort that I would never get over. I wept like a small child, full of all fears.

A dreadful place to allow all of this to happen. Slowly... The crystals around...

“Rem... It’s okay,” Alijah tried to comfort me.

But I was inconsolable. All that bombarded my mind was how he almost died because of me again.

“Rem...” He called out to me softly.

His voice was hoarse while I continued to cry. Getting annoyed with me, my wolf grabbed onto my shaking hands and placed them on his face before shouting at me.

“Rem, look! I am alive!”

His hands were so firm on mine, who could barely hold it together. If something happened to him. I... would have destroyed everything to find him, even in death. Even though I wanted to give up. I could not control what happened next.

In an instant, I pushed Alijah onto the ground, clashing my lips into his. Part of me did not care about the rejection I thought would come soon after, but instead of shoving me away. The surprised wolf clasped his hands to the back of my head and kissed me back. Separating from me only a bit, he licked my lip, asking for permission, which I gladly gave him.

His tongue played with mine while he kept one of his hands on the back of my head. The other that was on my back softly trailed down to my bum. I had pinned him down onto the ground with my hands on his chest.

I could barely breathe while we continued feverously to make out. It filled my body with a warmth that I could not control anymore. A soft whine left my lips as the kiss became more passionate with each moment that passed.

My small lamp shut off thanks to a timer. Not that it mattered while we both continued to indulge in one another. Separating only for a slight moment, I mimicked what Alijah had done to me before, only to meet with his tongue again.

A slight moan left his lips when my body fully pressed against his. I straddled him while his hand squeezed my bum lightly. If time could stop, this would be my stop.

I love him too much. So much it hurts.

Following the pull of my heart’s strings, I continued to kiss him until all my senses dulled. Until I knew he was alive and breathing while under me. When we separated again for air, his eyes were slightly giving off a hue, as surely mine was as well.

Seeing Alijah like that finally snapped me out.

What have I done? I…

His hand traveled from the back of my head to my chin, trying to pull me into another kiss. Realizing what I had done, I pulled away completely from his embrace, taking a few steps away from him.

“Rem?” Alijah called for me, bewildered about why I yanked myself away from our moment.

But I only felt guilt. So much guilt built that was consuming me. Or was it fear of how he would react? I could not differ from the two. I was not different from all the girls that did that to him.

Stupid, Rem. I’m so foolish! You know what happened to him. How dare you do this?!

I had let my emotions slip, and I wanted so much more.

Shit. I really love him... I love him so much.

He was everything I dreamed, plus much more. Around me, the crystals slowly shone brighter, responding to my inner turmoil. It would have been a beautiful sight to behold, but to me, I only felt heartbreak.

It tempted me to touch one to make all the pain go away, but that selfish action would have put Alijah in danger. Something I would never allow to happen. It did not matter how much it hurt. Yet... I could not control them. These emotions were exploding.

“I am sorry, Alijah.” I finally let out.

He stood up from where I had attacked him, slowly approaching me. However, I refused to look directly at him.

“Rem, why are you apologizing?” He asked, not understanding what made me this way.

Probably hit his head harder than I thought for him to have responded the way he did.

Did he confuse me with Lilith?

“Because... I wanted to be different, but I’m not.” I confessed, voice breaking.

He closed the gap I had created, clasping onto my hands, which trembled.

“You are different,” Alijah reassured me.

His words left me feeling like crying.

Please... Please... stop!

He knew about Lilith being a possibility for him.

Why is he still being kind to me?

The kiss at the camp had cemented hope within me. And it had erupted in me. I could not control myself anymore. A mistake I had to correct; I did not want him to lose his faith in me. Surely he would hate me!

“I’m not different!” I shouted, pulling my hands away from Alijah’s dangerous warmth.

A pulse of energy left me shaking the cave a bit as the crystals continued to respond to me. My emotions caused my magic to erupt uncontrollably. This triggered the dark sensation within me, merging my blood lust with my desire to have him. I had to push away.

Drown it!

I had to get away, but we were stranded.

“I’m sorry... for allowing myself to be ruled by the happiness of seeing you breathe.” I added, unable to control myself.

It was so hard to not assault him. The gods knew how much I wanted it. Sadly, he was not backing down, either.

Did I piss him off?

“Rem.” The worried wolf called out firmer.

But I would not let him speak. I did not want to hear it. It scared the fuck out of me.

“Look, it won’t happen again. So... so... I...” I promised, taking a few steps away from him.

I had to get away before I ravished him. Like... I had in my dreams. Over and over... We made so much love... But the reality was much more addictive. The sensation of his lips still burned on mine.

“Oi, Rem, let me....” He tried to reach me.

I did not let him.

“I... am not Lilith, Alijah!” I snapped in fear.

He grabbed onto my arm, yanking me into his arms in response. I wanted to sink my teeth into him. Every fiber of my being wanted to make him mine. Yet I had to fight that urge. He was never mine to begin with.

My mouth was still hot from his touch. I wanted more... much more. One would think this was not my first time with a man, but it was. My first kiss was that night of the bond, too.

Hah... he must think I’m a slut or something else.

“I know! I know you are not her!” Alijah growled loudly, clinging to me.

He would not let me go.

“You are nothing like her. You stupid luma,” His voice broke.

I did not know the meaning behind his words. No, I did not allow myself to know the significance behind them. If I did, I probably would not have let him leave this cave until I had my way with him.

For a while, he held me as I tried to hold the urges that were swelling within me.

“Look,” Alijah mumbled, gazing around us.

I glanced up to see the crystals dimming, causing the scenery to change. They almost seemed like stars in the night sky. Before when I was going crazy, the crystals almost seemed like light bulbs.

In an instant, I felt woozy caused by the crystals that had resonated with me. Glancing down, the foot that had been cut had stepped into one of the dimmed smaller crystals. Alijah called for me, noticing the color of my skin go pale.

“We...” I tried to tell him we had to leave, but the words would not leave me.

Instead, my vision blurred as he noticed the danger I was in.

“Fuck this.” Alijah cursed, glowing brightly.

The power he exerted was intense while he held onto my limp body. In an instant, he made his own way through without touching a single thing. Everything was too blurry to see. I could not tell how he opened a way out, either.

However, the intensity of his power triggered the cave to start to collapse. He shifted, picking me up in his mouth. Even though the bond prevented him from harming me, his teeth sunk deep enough so I would not slip out of his mouth.

I barely felt any pain because of what was happening to me. Instead, all I felt was death coming for me. Before I knew it, Alijah ran out through his newly found entrance. He knew I needed a healer right away if I was to live. I had screwed up so badly, though.

My consciousness wavered while Alijah ran faster than he had ever done before.

Please... whatever you do.... not kill him... Don’t kill the person I love the most. Please... I beg you...

Were the last thoughts that crossed my mind when my consciousness finally failed, sending me plummeting into the darkness.