The moment Alijah emerged from his shower; I pushed every negative emotion down into the abyss that was my heart. Before I knew it, I was on my feet, running to him, only to be engulfed by his arms. My name left his lips when I pulled myself up to meet with them.
A passionate kiss soon followed, incited fully by me. He could barely shake the steaming shower before I was on him. His skin, although it was usually hot, was even more so thanks to the water he had used. It left a pleasant feeling on my lips, though.
Ah... how... No, I have to. I have to let go. Keep it to the plan, Rem. Tonight will be the last day for me and him. Well, if everything goes right.
I pulled away from my wolf, clasping my hands into his. Before he could get a word out, I led him towards the private spring outside of our room before I peeled off his robe. Trailing kisses down his body. I wanted to memorize every feature he offered.
These past six months, even though we woke up together every morning, were not enough. My affections were met by him, tugging me up to meet my lips with his. He took off my robe, triggering me to trace my hands up his chest before wrapping them around his neck.
There I deepened the connection we were sharing. My tongue explored his cavity, triggering a small moan to leave his lips. However, nothing ever went to plan with my wolf. The kiss was a sweet one. Though, before I knew what was happening, he shoved me into the water behind me.
I splashed right into its warm embrace. Finding myself under, I stared at the surface. It was like a moment to breathe. Though, of course, I was incredibly annoyed. It was not deep, so my back was against the floor. I could not waste time.
Stupid…
The moment I surfaced, I growled at him loudly. He chuckled, dipping his feet right into the water. His tail was slightly wagging, too. I could not help but gaze at his hair, which was wet and loose from the shower.
I had always preferred him that way. Though no matter how majestic and appealing he was to my eyes; I was still pissed he pushed me into the spring with no warning.
"Why did you do that for?" I grumbled, making my way to him.
He gazed at me with an expression I would not label.
Does Alijah suspect me? Or is it something else?
He was always keen to find my turmoil before I even knew it existed. Somehow, he knew when I was jealous, angry, or sad. Though this time I really wanted to keep it to myself. Just one last night with him was all I wanted.
A last goodbye to the love I felt for my beloved wolf. All I needed was closure to let him go when we saved Lilith from Edna's grip.
"You tried to take a dip into a lava yesterday. So, I thought maybe water would suffice your habit of falling from places," Alijah smirked playfully, leaving me to grumble under my breath.
He was still annoyed from the previous day. I mean, I was a klutz, and careless. But I did not want our few last memories to be in a fight like it was about to be. Or at least I thought it would be. I found myself in a sticky situation, desiring this moment to be a happy one.
For that, I had to act like myself, or he would notice. And that was something I wanted to avoid until we were in an airship headed to Allora. Until I had to let go for real. After all, this was all a rumor. How I wished it would stay like that...
"It’s fine! I’m fine. You were there to save me, Alijah-tan." I smiled, hoping he would leave it at that, but it bothered him.
Shit… Has he been thinking about it this whole time?
I thought we had fucked it out yesterday. By now, he had gotten used to my nickname, that it barely bothered him anymore. Although every time it rolled out of my tongue, I could see his eyes twitch in slight annoyance.
"Damn it. Yes, I was there, but what if I had looked away for a moment? Rem, you could have been..." Alijah sighed, not wanting to finish that sentence.
I made my way back to him, pulling myself out of the water to sit next to him. Polished rocks surrounded the spring, making for perfect seats. Though my wolf must have cared for me somewhat to feel that way.
Grabbing onto his hand, I pulled it to my face, rejoicing in this one moment that he was mine alone.
Ah... this joy… I’ll miss it soon.
"You still would have saved me somehow. Even in all the scenarios the dreaded if's will bring." I simpered.
His crimson orbs glossed for a moment, dropping his forehead onto my shoulder. Steadily, his arms wrapped around my waist, releasing a heavy sigh from his lips.
"I cannot lose you, Rem." Alijah breathed, voice trembling.
Those words... he probably meant them at this moment, but they would soon become invalid. When he found out he would see her soon, at that instant, those words would lose their meaning. But at this moment, he meant them. He did not want to lose me, and it made me happy.
Though I did not know if it was because of the bond or because he cared for me. Although I would have loved to believe the latter. If I had conquered a piece of his heart, it would have been enough.
Think of me now and then, okay?
"You’ll never lose me, Alijah," I reassured, tugging my wolf up to meet my gaze.
I knew full well that if he wanted to fuck, even after he had Lilith, I would probably gladly spread my legs for him. What a disgusting woman I had become. Probably the worst kind, but I also knew he was not that type of man.
No, unlike me, he would be faithful to his true love. I lost count of how many women threw themselves at him when we got to the places we visited. They sought Lycans as lovers since they are 'great' in bed, as most women called it. So, it was not for romantic advances.
All they wanted was a fling for fun. Even though our physical relationship started because of a mistake. Alijah never once accepted any offers for a good time from anyone else. He was fully faithful to me. And that caused me to lose myself in this bliss.
When a lady asked my wolf why he was rejecting her offer of a fun night. His response was one to behold.
“I already have someone. A skank won’t please me as much as my girl will.”
This happened when I was grabbing us bags of chips from a shop. He was waiting outside on a bench for me. Somehow, he avoided getting slapped, but the lady called him a few things back. That was in our last village, out of Niamoor.
I wanted that person to be me, but he probably held me out of convenience. After all, it would have been foolish for me to believe that he loved me. He had been in love with Lilith for six thousand years. In comparison, I was a pass time.
Not wanting to drown in those thoughts, I kissed him again, only for him to respond by pulling me onto his lap. I straddled him, focusing on the tango of our soft members. One of his hands traveled to my crotch, making me flinch when he pinched my bell.
A whine left my lips, allowing saliva to drip down my chin. He licked the trail until sealing my lips with his again. Holding the back of my head, he caressed my vulva, invading my walls. Mewls escaped my lips as he kissed me feverously.
I wanted this moment to stop, but time waited for no one. This would be one last memory… one last fuck… one last love. I wished to do everything I could for Alijah on this one night I had left as his substitute lover. His fingers sent pleasure through my body.
Knowing this was the last time, I felt bolder than ever before. Clasping onto his member with my hands, I stroked him for the first time since we had started. I always tried to keep my hands to myself, but this night I would be selfish.
A nervous chuckle left his lips, tugging away from our kiss. The surprise on his face was mixed with pleasure. Even though I was clumsy, a moan left his lips, giving me a glorious reward. A prize that made me even more ballsy.
His kisses had left me with barely any air to find, but the look on his face made me desire so much more. How I wished he would always gaze at me that way. I wanted to make a mess out of him.
"Can I?" I asked, not being able to place the right words out.
Alijah tilted his head, a bit confused by what I had said. A playful smile rose on his lips soon after, though. He was already guessing what I desired, but he wanted me to say it clearly.
"Can you what, Rem?" Alijah murmured, eyeing me down.
Before I could say anything, though, he pulled his fingers out of my depth. Licking my lips, he trailed kisses down my chin and onto my chest. There, he suckled onto my little nobs. It felt like he was trying to milk me again. I traced my fingers over the back of his head.
My back arched because of his hand trailing behind it. He was not giving me a break to collect my thoughts. I could feel his fangs graze the skin of my breast, though the sensation of his saliva on them was much more alluring.
Even though they were sharp, he never sunk them into me as he had done in Wyatt's cabin.
Is that only reserved for Lilith?
It was a stupid thought, as she could not heal like me. Well, she was a healer in her past life. Perhaps she could with her magic. It did not stop the desire of wanting to be marked by him. But that was something I would not ask him to do. No, this time I wanted to do something else.
"Can I make love to you?" I panted, out of breath, trying to hold every negative emotion down, but it was hard.
It would be a matter of time before Alijah would notice. The moment he heard my question, his ears perked up. He quickly met with my gaze with a soft smile was on his lips. His eyes were gentle, though what caught my attention was his tail wagging.
That was when I noticed what I had labeled us fucking as lovemaking.
Fuck...
Nerves rose within me as Alijah licked his bottom lip.
"I would like that a lot, but..." he stopped, cheeks flushed red.
He traced his fingers on my vulva again, picking up the lubricant that spilled out of me. Grabbing his heat from my hands, he traced his moist fingers on his head. Another soft smile rose on his lips, capturing my heart.
I shivered when I felt him softly rubbing the tip to my entrance. A whine left my lips, triggering me to kiss his lips. His fingers had left everything sensitive. Though he did not stop rubbing himself on my bell and down my slits.
Pulling away from my lips, he gazed at me with those red crimson orbs.
"Rem, you don’t have to ask for my permission. Just shove it into yourself whenever you want it." Alijah smirked, pushing the tip into my walls in a form of a tease.
It reminded me of what I had told him six months ago, and it was almost a little too much for my brittle heart to take. In an instant, I took his invitation, pressing myself on him, causing his full length to go into me. The sudden feel of being filled triggered me to hug him, prompting him to moan into my ear.
"Such a good girl. Responding so fast..." he murmured, tugging my face to meet with him before he kissed me passionately.
Unable to hold still, I swayed my hips clumsily. But he did not mind. No, instead of complaining about my inexperience, my wolf seemed to enjoy himself. After separating from the kiss, he leaned back a bit for a better view, releasing moans to make sure that I knew he was loving every minute.
Soft noises were coming from where we were connected to. It was almost too naughty to bear. Usually, all I heard was the slapping of our skins and voices, but in this case, it was something else. His tail curled around my back for better support. Playing with my breast with one of his hands, he held himself up with his other one.
Hearing his hoarse voice excited me more, too. It made me want to dominate him, but the moment that thought formed on my head, I felt a snap. A flood gate was opened, unable to stop me from thinking of all the women who probably forced themselves on him.
Do I bring him no bad memories? Ah… It was a mistake to be on him like this. I…
I did not know what my expression became, but Alijah suddenly grabbed onto my face, stopping me in my tracks.
Fuck, did I do... something wrong?
"Stop, I don’t know what you are thinking but end it." He sighed, kissing me lightly on my lips.
I felt utterly surprised by him. Even in the act, he was paying attention to me.
"What?" I mumbled, not knowing how he knew I was falling.
Grabbing onto my hips, he yanked me close. Our skins were touching without a single centimeter of space between them. It was too warm. His embrace was too much for me. I was melting.
"You are like an open book, Rem." Alijah chuckled, nuzzling his nose into mine.
This… all of this… is it really real? No… he has a choice to make. Don’t take away his freedom. Face it… after tonight.
"You’re the best thing I’ve had in my life. So, stop thinking of anyone else when you are with me." He purred lovingly, holding me in place with one of his hands.
Using the other one to hold on to the back of my head, his lips hovered over mine so temptingly that I did not know how I held myself off him. His words were breaking through me, though.
Are they true? No… that was the wrong question. Would they remain true when he saw her? No... No, they would not. Our short time together will never replace theirs. Shit! Try to keep it together, Rem. Don’t let him fill you with any more false hope. This is all a moment…
"Are you sure you don’t read minds?" I asked, voice shaking.
My wolf rolled his eyes, pushing me onto the ground next to the spring. A second later, he was kissing my neck, trailing down to my chest. Once again, he made me squeal under him. Suckling on my breast like there was no tomorrow, he sighed.
"I can’t read your mind, but I can read you. Something has been bothering you since I got out of the shower. And you aren’t telling me straight. So, tell me what silly thing is on your mind this time so I can put it to rest." Alijah finally confronted, tugging my chin to face him.
This was so I would not runway from his gaze.
Clever wolf…
This did not mean he would stop midway through. After those words left his lips, he thrust himself into me roughly. It was almost too much. He always held me so animalistic. But it was also adoring. It was almost as if he wanted me to forget whatever was bothering me each time I was in his arms.
The familiar sound of the slapping of our skin filled the air. I would usually melt soon after he started, but this time I loved him too much. I did not want him to stop holding me, at least for tonight.
Selfish... like always…
I was horrible, but if I said anything. Part of me knew he would run to her.
"I don’t want you to know." I tried to say between mewls.
Alijah halted his movements, tracing his thumb on my lips. Sweat dripped down his chin and onto my skin.
"That serious?" he panted for air, wanting to know what was wrong.
I tried to hold back the tears that were stinging my eyes. This was not how I wanted this night to end. I wanted him to fuck me silly until the sun rose. The airships would have reopened for the day too.
I had never begged him for anything since this journey began, but... I would break that rule for today. After all, today would be the last.
"Please... hold me until morning. Please?" I begged, holding onto his arms.
Alijah's facial expression became one of pure worry.
"Why are you like this?" he asked, bewildered about what was going on with me.
The tears I was trying to hold back rolled down my eyes. I only wanted one more night with him as his lover. Although, I knew it was a temporary one. My heart stung worse than any of the other times. This marked the end for us.
Did I show you enough? Do you know how much I love you?
The actual end of this love of mine and the beginning of my sorrow. Aunty Amelia had once said that it was the worst pain she had ever felt. But she also alleged it was for the best. After all, he ruined their union by bringing another woman into their bed.
Why... can’t it be me? Hey... Alijah... choose me when the time comes. Please? I don't know what I’ll do with myself if you don't. But… I won’t force you to choose me either.
"Please, think about only me." I doubled down, not wanting to tell him a single thing, reaching to touch his cheek.
It was so warm. It hurt to even think of letting go. I did not even want to know how it would feel once it was gone. I probably would be dead inside.
Is that how my aunt felt? Dead? Ah... he could just kill me if I ordered it so. If only... I could die without hurting him.
"I’m thinking only about you. Why won't you tell me what’s wrong? Was it because I pushed you into the water? I..." Alijah's voice broke.
His worry took greater hold of him. This was the first time I had ever behaved like this, but I could not stop the agony from gushing out of me. He had poked through the crack, and I had shattered because of it. Though my wolf was fantastic at acting.
It seemed like he cared about me. I could almost fall for it, but all facades end. And these lies were closing too. But not before feeling him one last time. However, soon it would be time to break the illusion.
"Please, hold me." I continued to beg, only to sob.
Unable to understand me, Alijah finally gave in to my demands. I was a wicked woman. Disgusting for keeping the truth from him. Probably if I had told him, we would have made it to the last airship for the night. Yet I was selfish. I wanted one last moment with my wolf.
Is it bad to want that?
After all, Lilith would have him for eternity after me. I was probably the most appalling woman who ever lived. Wicked, ugly, and hateful. I did not have one pure bone in my body.
"Fine, just don’t cry anymore. Though, you better tell me later." Alijah growled, not happy that I was hiding something from him.
Oh... if he only knew all the things I was concealing. He would probably never hold me again, but much to his word, he fucked me silly as I desired. With each moment that passed, I tried to burn it to memory. Every feature, every inch of him.
Every push made me feel bliss, yet my heart was breaking. Usually, I was happy in his arms, but this time I was in anguish. His warmth, his touch, was all poisonous to me. Yet, I pushed myself to kiss him, begging for more.
At one point, I told Alijah that I loved him until my voice became hoarse from crying and moaning. The whole time, he tried to get me to stop bawling my eyes out while never stopping his movements. They were the only thing bringing me joy.
After finding my release more than once, Alijah had hoped I would have calmed down, but I did not. For a moment, he stared at me, not knowing what to say to me. He did not know what made me like this. After all, before he left the room, I was normal. I was happy and excited to spend the night with him in the spring.
The reason I did not join him in the shower was that I wanted to save my energy for the spring. But it had all become twisted. Sorrowfully, I never wanted this memory to be the last one. His worried expression made me full of dread.
I slowly reached for his face, tracing my fingers on his cheek.
Will this be the last thing he remembers of me? How pathetic can you be, Rem?
"I love you, Alijah," I repeated, voice hoarse.
He stared at me like he was looking at his world falling apart.
"Stupid, I love you too. Please stop crying." He whispered, licking my cheek before kissing me in the hopes it would calm me.
It had the opposite effect. Although I welcomed his kiss, his words left me feeling hollow.
Ah... I forced him to say words he didn’t want to say. What a horrible person I am. I’m so sorry, Alijah. Please forgive me.
Instead of saying anything else, I focused on our bittersweet kiss before he moved rougher. He had no intention of leaving me with any time to think about useless things.
My sweet wolf...
This was not the way I wanted the night to go at all. Sweat, saliva, and every other liquid that could come from our bodies dripped from us. Well, all but blood. My moans filled the air while he fucked me silly. It was not long before I lost myself. Body twitching under my wolf, I found myself panting for air desperately.
There he picked me up, before fucking so more in the bed. It creaked under us as I filled myself with Alijah. Nothing else mattered. By the time the morning came, I found myself curled up in his arms.
For a moment, I wanted everything to have been a dream, but the headache clarified that it had not been a nightmare. And from what my wolf had done to me the entire night, I felt sluggish to move. He had not gone easy on me.
If he had bitten me, I would have bruised from how rough he was with me. Slowly, I wiggled my way out of his arms without waking him. Luckily, I got up earlier than I had hoped. The airship docks were about to open.
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When I went to pick up the phone at the inn, my name left Alijah's lips. He tried to tug me back into his arms. Unable to stop him from doing so, I brought the phone back with me into the bed. The moment he noticed it, he glanced at me, confused, while I dialed a number on the pad.
"What are you doing?" he asked.
Ignoring him, I placed the phone in my ear, turning away from him. Luckily, the airship line answered quickly enough to not give him a chance to take it away.
"Oi..." Alijah mumbled, bewildered.
I stood up from the bed, asking for the information on each line that was available today. This was a small village, and it only had space for two to three airships. Fortunately, when they gave me the list of ships leaving, there was a ship leaving soon to Allora.
Usually, we traveled by foot everywhere, since it was easier to go undetected that way. But one airship would not have been world-ending for us. We had to bribe the officers there, but that was not something three gold coins would not buy.
We also had to be careful if there were Cerberus members on board. After I hanged up with the airline, I turned to Alijah, who was not amused by everything that was happening. In fact, I would have said my efforts to ignore him rather annoyed him.
"Rem," Alijah called out, eyes twitching.
I continued to disregard him, heading to get my clothes, only for him to grab onto my hand. All I could reach was for my shirt. It hurt.
Don’t make this any harder than it already is!
I wanted to scream at him, but if I allowed any emotion out. I would break.
"Rem, stop ignoring me. Why were you asking for information on the airships?" He asked more directly.
Taking a deep breath, I turned to him. I did not want him to know. Not until he had to know what was going on. I probably should have told him, but I desired him for myself for a little while longer. My emotions were making me pick every wrong choice.
Honestly, I was a mess, and my mind was a storm that I was trying to quell.
"Because we are going to somewhere important. Something is waiting for us there and we have to go fetch it, Alijah-tan." I tried to remain vague and true to myself.
I was not yet ready for our separation. We would not separate right after they met, either. No, I would move to be a supporting character for them.
Awkward…
After they were reunited, we had to travel to Silverant to get Vera to help me break the bond. Sadly, I could not do it on my own. I did not think this through, but I never thought I would have had a taste of my wolf.
Thankfully, I had prepared for that moment before I even got on the airship the day I met Alijah. I never thought I would have...
Right... it was never supposed to get like this. I was never supposed to have a taste of him. Harden... Harden up, heart, please! For his happiness. Everything must go, including me!
"What are you talking about, Rem? What the fuck is going on?" he seemed visually annoyed with me.
In his eyes, I was keeping things from him since last night. I had to fix that. If I could.
"I was too emotional last night. Sorry about that. Maybe I’m getting my period soon." I answered, shifting my gaze from him.
An obvious lie. Though he would not know, since he had not been there all my life.
"You’ll see when we get to where we are going," I added, trying to reassure my wolf of my intentions before pulling away from him.
This time, I would not break, not until we got there. Usually, I would shower when we spent our days in an inn. After all, we did not know the last time when we would see another one.
This time, I did not want to wash any part of him off me. This warmth still lingered in every centimeter of me, and I wanted to keep it there until I could not.
"Rem, where is it we are going?" Alijah continued to query, hesitant about everything that I said.
For the first time since the campfire, he did not trust a word that left my mouth. Perhaps he caught a few feels for me, but it would not matter when he saw Lilith. Those emotions would melt the moment he laid eyes on her.
When he said he loved me would replay in my memories until I finally stopped breathing. I could already picture the moment everything ended for us. The moment when Lilith ran into Alijah's arms while he held them open for her.
The bliss in his eyes… At that moment, my heart would break into a million pieces, and I could not do a damn thing about it. For his happiness, I would shatter my heart if needed. Not that it was not already cracking. I did not want to go, but I promised I would bring him to her.
"You’ll see. I’m just keeping my promise to you. That’s all." I tried to reassure my troubled wolf, but instead of letting it be.
He seemed unsure about my intentions. After all, if it were that, I would not have been bawling my eyes out the previous night while he held me.
"A promise? You would not be crying if it were something like that. No, I dislike this, Rem. Every instinct is telling me to keep you here with me." Alijah growled, not wanting to go anywhere until I came clean.
To him, something was not right, but that was because of the way I was behaving. I had to get my act together. The only reason I did not tell him was that I wanted to... stay with him a little longer without her in his mind.
If... she was not already in his mind.
"Everything will be fine. You’ll be happier than you have ever been when we get there. Trust me. I haven’t hurt you yet, have I?" I simpered, trying to hide all the ugliness inside.
All that mattered was getting him to Allora. So, I could reunite him with his beloved. Hopefully, before she was corrupted by Edna's magic. If that was possible... We never figured out what she wanted with the elf, but I could hope the witch wanted her as a hostage to keep Alijah in line.
"Rem," he called, grabbing onto my chin.
Gathering the courage, I faced him head-on. I was glad I brightened his life, even if it was a little. It meant my time with him had not been in vain. Perhaps he changed, or maybe he was tolerating me all these months.
Either way, he was my everything. Because of that, he would have everything he ever wanted. Instinctively, I smiled before pulling myself to meet with his lips. It reminded me of the night I bonded with him. The night I made him my captive. Soon... we would both have our freedom.
I love you... It’s time to set you free.
The kiss was short and sweet. He quickly deepened it. Though I would not allow him to sway me. I pulled away from his lips, pressing my hands on his chest.
"Get dressed. Our flight leaves in an hour," I announced, tugging away to get ready.
Alijah, for a few moments, stared at me before reluctantly getting ready. He knew once I had something in mind, nothing would change it. Checking out of the inn was a breeze and getting to the airship was also not a hassle. Luckily, blaze elves were too hot-tempered to care about anything else.
Then again, it had been six months. Everyone had already forgotten or cared little of Alijah’s wanted pictures. Zent was a fiery place to be in, especially if we did not have special elven chanted jewels to travel to.
Even walking on the streets was like walking in a boiling sun. Everything around was red or black. And they made the houses of their special metal, etantil. Enchanted to resist the heat, too. They made even the inn we stayed in of steel. Thought each had different colors used.
Luckily, I had purchased some of those accessories before I left Silverant. So, when we got to Zent’s border, it was not an issue to travel on it. Caden had asked me why I had gotten them. And I told him it was for fashion. He looked at me like I was crazy, but I quickly told him to fuck off.
I was brainless at times, but I also knew how to prepare. I had planned to travel the world with Alijah if I could. So, I had prepared everything we would need. My bag was full of goodies for every nation, but most importantly, I researched every continent. But that would be a wish that was only half accomplished.
Celestelia, Zent, Azear, Niamoor and Allora would be our end. A pity… Celnaer (vampire), Arthion (human), and Raman (Sun elf) were left. Lyari was somewhere we could have never traveled. Heck, even Raman might have been impossible, too. Those sun elves were too stuck up.
Though Celnaer and Arthion we could have gotten away with those.
Shit… There is so much I want to do with you. But I guess you’ll have your pick soon, Alijah.
We got on a civilian ship, which meant no Cerberus officers were on board. Once on it, though, Alijah could not keep his eyes off everything. It was fascinating at first, but it quickly grew too loud for him to handle. I had to buy him Lycan earplugs for him to bear the trip.
All the loud noises from the airship were overwhelming to someone like him, who had never lived in our modern era. The entire trip there was rather quick, only four hours in the air. But he spent the entire time snuggled up against me, trying to concentrate on the sound of my heart rather than all the loud machinery.
Not that I did not enjoy every moment of having my wolf cling to me so desperately, but it was saddening to see him like that, too. The big bad wolf everyone was terrified of seemed to be a small child. Unable to handle the noise that came from the ship, he found comfort in my arms.
Every modern Lycan was used to loud noises, but Alijah was not. This would be yet another memory I could store in my mind. Back in his era, they conceptualized machinery like this. The elves made the first airship only two thousand years ago, making this a completely new thing for him. Having walked everywhere had saved him from this experience, but this time, it was a must.
Even though he had some earplugs to help with the noise, it was an unpleasant ride for him. Sadly, it made him more irritable than usual when we landed. Although for me, I loved every minute my grumpy wolf clung to me. It was a moment in time that I wanted to freeze, but that was an impossible wish.
All I could do was gently caressed his hair, trying to keep him from attempting to destroy the ship. Thankfully, he stayed calm until it came time to get off the ship. However, the moment he saw where we were, he recognized it in an instant. We had arrived in Allora's major city, Oraios, which was only a few hours away from our primary destination.
Even though the passage of time had changed a lot, my wolf already knew where we were. There was a giant ancient white tree in the middle of the city marking this as moon elven territory. The houses all had the same appearance, as they love to build their homes of clay here.
Though they would paint them white. The only colors that showed were purple stripes in some of them. As well as the ribbons that made part of the lightings they had. That was all we could see from the ship, though.
In an instant, Alijah seemed more than reluctant to leave the ship, only to have to follow me out when I did not listen to him to stay put and leave. Once we were out of the station, he played along, until when he shifted when I told him I would guide him to where we were going.
The moment I mounted him; he took off before I could take out our map. It was almost as if a switch flipped on him. A second later, I found myself in an unknown white forest surrounded by unfamiliar scenery. He suddenly shifted, causing me to fall onto the grass below. It was obvious he wanted to be away from prying eyes and ears to talk.
"Why did you do that?!" I complained, feeling sore from the shortfall Alijah had caused me to endure.
Though, the moment I saw his expression. I stopped in my tracks. It was one of pure hostility. He was not happy to find himself in Allora. But it was not only that, but I had also ignored his concerns. No... he was livid. It was the first time I had ever seen him this angry at me.
"What the fuck are we doing here?!?" he demanded, slamming his fist into a tree next to us, shattering it on impact.
He was finished with my evasiveness of his questions. My heart felt like it was about to be torn apart any second. One would think I was terrified of the angered wolf in front of me, but no. He did not scare me even when he glared at me with those crimson eyes full of anger and betrayal.
Had I deceived him by bringing him to the place where their story ended? But there was going to be a new beginning for them. I just had to say it.
It’s over, Rem. Time to come clean... but not with one last try to save any second I have with him. God… I should have kissed him when we were on the ship.
"Let’s just get to Locrium. Everything will be..." I tried to reassure Alijah, but he would not let me.
Instead, he raged harder. I should have told him beforehand that we were coming to Allora, but I wanted those last moments with him. This was what I deserved for keeping it from him. And not only that. I also took an entire day away from him. One that we could have been trying to save his true love.
Not that he knew... but when he realized, he would blow. My punishment awaited me. However, with the name that had come from me, Alijah wanted nothing more. His expression told me everything. Those hurt feelings from his past were still present.
My heart was shattering. His love for me was never real.
Ah... It’s over for me. Did I give enough? Did I show him everything I have to give? Was it enough? It’s not enough... I still have much more! But…
A hole in my chest was surging open with nothing to stop it.
"Locrium!?!? Hah... You are testing me, Rem! Do not test me! Do you even know what you are fucking saying?!" Alijah raged, causing his body to glow red.
It would be better to end it here. Before he saw her so he would have no hesitations. There was no space for reservations. I tried to harden my heart.
Be a bitch, Rem. Make him loathe you so... he’ll have no regrets. So that there are no if's. Those would hurt more.
There were never any.
"I know what I’m saying! Why would I ever want to test you?" I argued, body shaking.
My words caused Alijah's crimson eyes to narrow upon hearing me. It was not only my body, but my voice was quivering, too. The whiteness of the trees complimented the green grass below.
What a beautiful place to have my heartbroken. Shit... Keep it together, Rem. He never loved you. He did not mean a thing of what he said last night!
"Do you still want to kill me, Alijah?" I asked, facing him straight on.
He seemed utterly unamused by my question.
"What the fuck are you saying?" he muttered, angrier than before.
I had to make him hate me. It was over. It was time to give Lilith back his heart. At least, the little piece that I had won. The facade had to begin and end. For both our freedoms, I had to remain strong.
"Your expression is making me believe you want to hurt me, or worse," I answered.
I clenched my hands into fists, slowly standing up from the floor. It was a lie. His expression showed pain and anger. But I needed to believe otherwise. I had to fool myself before my heart shattered into pieces I could never pick up.
Alijah would never pick me over his six-thousand-year-old lover.
"Go on then... do it. It’s what you wanted, no? To kill me and be free of the bond. Of your leash. That’s the only reason you held me, right?!? To fool me into thinking…" I trailed off, not wanting to finish that.
All of my insecurities were spilling out of me, though. Everything that I knew would make Alijah regret meeting me, but it almost seemed as if Shade had gotten his tongue. So instead of backing down, I continued.
"Tell me, why did you play along with my feelings for these past months? Was it because you cared for me? Or because I’m Mom's daughter?" I asked point-blank, fearing his answer.
Fuck... why doesn’t my voice stop shaking?
My question seemed to snap Alijah out of his initial stun. His face seemed to be one of sorrow as he grabbed onto his chest.
"What are you saying? Of course, I care..." he began.
The moment he spoke, I felt off. Pain suddenly rushed through my body as I tried to hide it. It snapped me away from what he was saying, though. I released a slow gasp in response to it. Why did everything have to be so painful?
It doesn’t matter what he says... because it’ll all change when he sees her. Everything will change. Those arms will no longer be mine. No, they never were!
I had not heard a word he said.
"Well, if you won’t kill me, then..." I growled, ending up on my knees.
My body radiated a black aura soon after the pain had invaded my body. It was almost the same that was emanating from me when I was possessed. Identical when I was back at the river, where we stopped to rest before the cave. The shadow beast encounter had also caused me to respond the same way.
Yet, something about it was also different about this time.
Ah... Am I angry? Like the time I hurt...
I had not noticed, but I was raging, too. The pain was hiding the anger that was surging within me. The beast was awaking again.
"Rem!" Alijah called out to me, closing the gap between us, grabbing me by my shoulders.
I felt a weird presence nearby. One I had never felt before. Not when I fell, not when I was possessed. No, it was almost as if my body was leading me to the source of what caused my curse.
Mom always said that those spells always knew when their principal source was nearby.
So... I’m right. Edna is trying to bring Lilith to life. Shit... I...
"She is here." I struggled to fight what was trying to come out.
Though it was trying to get a hold of me. And it got stronger with every emotion that swelled within me. I even wanted to tear Alijah apart. My blood lust… The beast was going out of control.
Just like when... Shit... I can't let that happen.
But once it started, it was hard to contain. The beast within me was urging me forward.
"Who?" Alijah asked, puzzled by what was happening.
I smirked, knowing where I would quench the thirst that was trickling out of control. I could not fight it, so instead, I gave in to the darkness that was coming out.
"Edna. I can feel her essence." I answered, biting onto my lip hard enough to make it bleed.
My freedom was also in my sight. Everything had fallen perfectly into place. I would lose my love, but at least I would have my autonomy. Instinctively, Alijah grabbed onto my face, pulling me to face him upon smelling the blood come from my lip.
The annoyance and worry in his eyes were still prevalent.
"Okay, enough, let’s just go back to-" I interrupted him by throwing myself at him, kissing him.
It caused my blood to smudge on his lips. Red matched this black wolf ever so perfectly. How I wished I were born in his time. Perhaps our story would have been different.
"This means Lilith is waiting for you to save her. Will you run away?" I whispered, enjoying the sight of blood on his lip.
That was when he finally realized what was wrong with me. Though he did not know how deadly it would be. But I did not care. It almost felt freeing to say all those things without feeling the sting in my chest.
The curse and beast had taken a hold of me. In this state... I hurt someone precious to me before. Without caring… Alijah did not know; I would rip into him if he was not careful.
"Lilith?" he mumbled, shaking his head.
His gaze turned into one of desperation.
"She’s irrelevant. Let’s go away from here, Rem." Alijah declared, tracing my cheeks with his fingertips.
I pushed it off, as always. I honestly did not care about his words. They were empty, right? Just trying to protect his bond bearer. If only he knew that my death would free him from everything. If only it would stay permanently.
"Because of the bond? Oh, Alijah, nothing will happen to you if I die. Do you think I would doom the man I love with my death? All you’ll feel is a tug in your heart if you care for me a bit, but that will be filled with Lilith when I’m gone, no?" I smiled, licking the blood off his lip.
He grabbed onto the back of my hair, pulling it enough to expose my neck fully to him. It should have been intimidating to anyone else but me.
"There isn’t an ounce of truth in what you are saying. Rem, you’re not yourself. Come back to me, please. I won't scream at you, or anything, just come back." Alijah tried to keep me still.
I licked my lip and smirked, enjoying his reaction to me. It was almost addictive to see him on his toes around me. He was cautious, but not afraid of me. It was intriguing. Did he know that my love for him would keep him safe, even though I wanted to rip into him? Or was it something else? He already knew how dangerous I could be.
"I’m not myself? Oh... then I’ll be better than ever when I have that witch's blood in my fangs then." I snickered, pulling my hair slightly free.
His grip on it was soft enough for me to find my release easily. He did not want to hurt me, even after I gave him my permission to do so.
"I won’t let you do that, Rem." Alijah tried to fight back.
I chuckled, unable to stop myself. That was adorable. It would all end when he saw her. Everything would be clear to both of us then.
"Oh, should I have a bite out of you, then?" I asked, trailing my fingers on his nape.
Tugging on Alijah's shirt, I exposed part of his shoulder.
"Go ahead, if it will calm you." He encouraged me.
I clicked my tongue, annoyed. He was being so tame. Where had all the feistiness from before gone? Was it because he was worried about me? I wanted to shatter him like he was about to break me. Though... that was just a lie, too. I wanted him to be happy.
Perhaps that was why the curse was not going fully haywire. Though it numbed me to my emotions.
"Sadly, you have no choice in this, my beloved. Did you forget who holds the reins in this partnership?" I questioned, smirking.
My words caused Alijah to glare at me, knowing full well what I was about to do. Not that he could stop me.
"I shall have my freedom and you’ll have..." I stopped myself before smiling bitterly.
It still stung, even in this state. But it was for the best. I would not take that choice away from him like the elders had. There was no way…
"Rem, don't." Alijah pleaded with me by pressing his forehead against mine.
I shrugged it off. He was like this only because he did not know if Lilith's soul would be there. If it was, he would be grateful.
"You’ll shift and take me to Locrium," I ordered, ignoring his pleas.
It triggered him to shift on command before I hopped onto his back. Locrium was never far from our destination, but thanks to my order, it made Alijah run at top speed towards it. From the two years, he spent living there with Lilith. He knew exactly where it was. We were there before the sun came down.
This allowed us to have a few hours of precious daylight to explore our destination. The moment we found ourselves at the entrance to the village, I could feel the presence somewhat disappear. My body stopped radiating the weird aura, though it still numbed me to everything that was happening.
I almost did not want to let the darkness go. It shielded me from the agony that I would have felt. Getting off Alijah, he shifted back while I took a step towards the ruins that used to be Locrium. I could feel Alijah's eyes grow heavy on me, though. I wore the previous numbness out.
Most of the houses were destroyed and forgotten. They had abandoned this village hundreds of years ago. The white forest surrounded us too. Though, unlike the capital, this place did not have a giant tree. The roads were made from dirt, too.
Luckily, even though it was a ghost town. Nature was still around. Birds chirped around us, as rodents and other bugs were seen around. Sadly, I was in no mood to take the scenery. After all, every word that I had said to my wolf was coming back to haunt me.
How... just how and why did I say those things? Ah… right…
Even though we were walking through dangerous territory, the only thing I was thinking about was what had happened before we got here. I was a mess. That was not a demon that took over me, but my negativity, along with whatever dark magic was stuck in me because of the curse.
I might have made Alijah truly hate me, and it should have been good with me, but I was miserable. Ever since the ghost woke me up from the dreamland, I was in living agony. Though I should have been paying attention to how weird it was that in our surroundings, no one was walking out or doing anything to stop us.
The ghost said witches were trying to bring someone back, but there was no one to be seen. Not a witch or an elf. There was nothing but empty decaying buildings here. The only thing that startled me, though, was Alijah kicking a rock right through one building.
He was in an awful mood, but instead of saying anything to me, he stayed quiet. Probably did not want to trigger me any further, since I kept shrugging off everything with my denial. What was worse, though, was that I could feel Edna's presence everywhere I stepped.
Yet there were no physical traces of her around.
Have they left? Did we fucking miss them?
Everything was fine and dandy until Alijah kicked another rock, only that this time a scream came from where the building came down. Instinctively, I ran towards it while my wolf followed, not far behind. Whoever had been in that building had probably been crushed by it.
Though that did not mean they were dead. But surely they must have been trapped by the debris.
"God damn it, Alijah! You’ve crushed our only lead!" I growled at my grumpy wolf.
He shrugged, not caring for a thing in the world at the moment. After all, he never wanted to be here in the first place, though he never took his eyes off me. I did not know if it was because he was being cautious of me. Or because it scared him that I would get hurt.
Probably the first option after what I had said to him. Instead of starting another fight, I tried to dig into whoever was down in the rubble. Slowly, I pulled out blocks of clay, which led to a barrier behind the rubble. And not just any barrier, but one made of elven magic.
Shit... Alijah almost killed an elf.
Something that would not have gone kindly for us if they were to talk. The urge to want to leave them there was strong, but knowing what they saw. It was even more important than getting reported.
I was too close to Edna and finding Lilith's soul that I could not back down. Even if I became more of a criminal.
Sorry, Dad.
Well, I already was one.
"Are you okay?" I yelled down at them, hoping to get no response.
But I could hear a weak voice say that something trapped them. Alijah, who wanted nothing to do with the stranger, stayed nearby. Steadily, I removed enough rocks to reach down to them through the barrier. My Lycan blood allowed me to have some magical resistance, even though it bothered me somewhat to push past it in my humanoid form.
Not that I could control my wolf form at all. If I even tried to shift, it would be the end of whoever was down in the hole. The beast was too strong for me.
"Reach out to me, and I will pull you up. But do not dispel the barrier, or all the other rocks will crush you," I yelled down, hoping my resistance would last long enough for whoever was down there to grab hold of my hand.
The moment I reached down; the barrier wanted to burn my arm. Stinging radiated from the skin that was exposed. I would not last long. Wincing in pain, I reached further down, hoping they would reach me in time.
Luckily, I felt a warm hand on my arm, clasping onto theirs. Before I knew it, Alijah suddenly yanked me by my shirt. It allowed me easily to lift the elf out of their predicament. It was a short help though. He clicked his tongue, letting go of my shirt before moving towards the side.
The elf almost slipped from the sudden jerk, but thankfully, they could emerge from the rubble. At first glance, it was apparent that it was a woman. Her slender body and soft hand that still clasped my arm made damn sure I knew it was one.
She wore silk white clothes with purple circles scattered around. They were now slightly dirty because of the dirt that had fallen on them. A white hood covered her face, preventing me from seeing her face as she gazed down, panting for air.
Though I could tell her skin was tanned from the way her hand appeared. Usually, moon elves had greyish skin, but they also came in tan and dark skin variants. Luckily, when Alijah pulled me, he also helped me to my feet.
The girl seemed to catch her breath.
"Ah... Thank you so much! Who would have thought that building would have come down like that! How could I ever repay you for saving me?" The mysterious woman suddenly announced, catching me off guard.
I tried to clear my throat. I did not expect her to be so friendly. Especially after having a building that was old, but sturdy, fall on them suddenly. Come to think of it, the air here was thinner than around other places. Could it be because we climbed a bit? I was not paying attention when Alijah ran here.
No, all I cared about was ripping into Edna. I should have been paying attention to my surroundings, though.
"I-it is f-fine. You are j-just lucky we w-were passing by." I stuttered, taking a glance at Alijah, who seemed to have frozen in time upon hearing her voice.
Not wanting to deal with his nonsense, I snapped my eyes back from him and onto the woman. She slowly straightened herself, but did not let go of my hand. Instead, the seemly friendly weird woman inspected my hand. I honestly did not know how to even speak to her.
"Actually, if you don’t mind, I-I would like to ask you something about what h-happened here. I-If you saw anything I mean." I stumbled to say.
The woman touched my palm with her fingers. They felt gentle on my skin, but somehow it also sent shivers down my spine. And it was not the good kind that Alijah usually caused.
"Oh, I’m not the right person for that. I know little of this place anymore." The woman said, pinching her fingers on my palm.
The dark aura suddenly came out a bit from her fingers.
"Oh..." I voiced out a word.
I stared at her, bewildered by what she was doing. For a moment, the unknown elf tilted her head, shaking her head a bit.
"You are cursed, aren't you? And by a powerful witch who used an elven artifact and a Lycan soul. I can feel the hate that went into making this curse." The elf suddenly announced, leaving me dumbfounded.
Just who is this woman?
"How did you know?" I questioned, taking my hand right out of hers.
She lifted her face to meet with my gaze. And by the gods, she was beautiful. Her grey eyes matched her perfectly silky lavender hair. On her face, she had purple tattoos, usual for moon elves.
They usually had them all over their bodies, too. She also had signature ears that were bigger than mine. This meant I also had pointy ears. This was because of the Lycan in me that manifested in pointy ears. Other than the fluffy ones, the purebreds usually had.
But this elf had the legit ones. Usually, people would confuse me for a peredhil instead of the luma I was, but my tail would give me away. Unless they were Lycans. If that was the scenario, then my scent would give me away.
However, I had a disguise whenever I was in villages. One of the many wigs I wore was what I had today, stuffing my tail in my pants. This woman's beauty was out of this world, though. If I were into women, I probably would have fallen in love with her the moment I saw her.
Even though her splendor was one thing, the fact she knew about the curse freaked me out a bit. Ryker and Amara, along with every other race of elves that tried to treat me, could only theorize that an elven artifact was used to create the curse that infected me.
But they never said for certainty, as this woman did. They also had to do intensive testing to detect it. Even Mom had a tough time attempting to see it, and she was one of the most powerful witches in the world.
"I was a medic once, long ago. Maybe some of my old techniques can help you with this as a thank you for saving me from the rubble." The elf smiled.
I took a step back, triggering her to take off her hood, revealing her magnificence to everyone around. Well, only us, but who knew if the gods were watching as well.
"I doubt you can help me. Many have tried and failed." I mumbled, feeling creeped out by this woman who was not normal.
I took another step back before taking another glance at Alijah, who seemed to have gone pale. It was almost as if he had seen a ghost.
“A-” he did not let me finish his name before he took a step forward towards us.
His expression stopped me in my tracks. It was one of pure disbelief.
"Lilith?" he called out to the woman, who had not peeled her eyes off me until then.
Lilith...? Impossible... she couldn’t have revived.
Shock washed through me, only to realize that it could have happened. We were late, after all.
Shit! Is this a trap? Had Edna caught us?
It did not matter. The moment she heard her name, she tore her eyes away from me before spotting him. The elf's expression changed to one of pure bliss. She ran towards him, launching herself into him.
"Ali! You came to me! I knew you would!" the woman smiled at Alijah.
They left me right where I was stunned by the truth of her identity. It was almost as if my mind could barely process what was going on anymore. Though, one thing for sure was the vacancy that my chest became the moment she touched him. It was almost as if something had swallowed everything up.
Even though this was not right. That something was off. My mind could not keep up.
So... I went on autopilot.