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The Eldritch Horror Returns to Earth, but Things are a Bit Different
Chapter ???: Adam Forgot Sustaining the Humanification Spell Requires Magick (APRIL FOOLS JOKE)

Chapter ???: Adam Forgot Sustaining the Humanification Spell Requires Magick (APRIL FOOLS JOKE)

Adam, for once, was actually having fun.

Sure, some people might not describe staring at his sleeping friend as much fun, but to Adam, it was the life. As things had it, he hadn't actually had much time these last couple hundred years to actually observe humans. The only time he'd had to story a human up close was staring at Tiftos when he did pretty much anything, but Tiftos had asked him not to, so that hobby had grown old.

However, with Chad, that wasn't a problem! At least, not quite yet. Not until Chad woke up and found Adam staring at him. But Adam, in all his boundless wisdom, had decided that distancing himself a minute or so before Chad actually woke up was the way to go. How was he to know when Chad would wake up? Ehh, he'd save that for later.

About an hour or so into his staring, he began to feel real tired. Extremely tired, in fact. Like his whole body had filled up with liquid. Slimy, cold, unfeeling liquid. And within mere moments, he realized why this feeling was: why it had happened.

He'd totally forgotten about it, hadn't he? Shapeshifting spells weren't exactly common, but all of them had a price for using it. First, you had to change. Then, you had to keep feeding the spell Magick to keep the body powered. If the body was any smaller than the sorcerer's this wouldn't be a problem, but in this case... it's not like Adam had a Cerritulus. He couldn't produce Magick himself.

So, that left him with only one fate: eventually returning to his real form. Which, if you've forgotten, is a 50-meter tall Eldritch God of sorts. Slimy, big, and hardly human.

And there was nothing he could do to stop it.

His body, as cold as a lake of ice, could only fumble forwards. The human blood flowing in his veins had turned to lead, weighing him down immensely. Reaching out, he hoped Chad might be his salvation. Perhaps, although it had only been a few moments, perhaps he had produced enough Magick to keep Adam going, just for a few more minutes?

No.

No, he hadn't.

Instead, all he did was awaken Chad to the horrors in store.

"Oh, bro, what's goin' on...?" Chad mumbled as he stirred awake. Adam, upon realizing Chad possessed no Magick, none whatsoever, did the second best thing: try to distance himself.

He could have used Ingest on Chad. That might have helped, for a moment.

But somehow, somewhere, he valued him too much. Not only because Chad was one of his tickets to his dream of normalcy, but also because, well... he liked him. Chad was a nice young man. A friend who had trusted him when nobody else had. So, he tossed his body away, threw himself across the room, as far away from Chad as possible.

"B-, bro, you alright?!" Chad called out, almost hopping out of bed to aid him.

"-!!" Adam opened his mouth to speak, to tell Chad to run, but instead... all that came from his gaping mouth-hole was a bundle of green, squirming slugs. Slimy and alive, they splattered down his chin and onto the floor. He had no inside anymore. His emerald-green eyes fluttered panicking from the pile of poisonous slugs to the gaping wide-eyed teen in front of him.

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"What the fu-," was all Chad could say before he shut himself up, an event beyond what he had just witnessed occurring in front of him. One of the many snails, green and purple-ringed, began to eat the others. Within mere moments, the slug, now five times its size, turned to Adam.

Adam's body was a hollow husk of skin and flesh, the inside filled only with slugs.

It wasn't long before Adam's body was consumed by the slug as well.

And then, he was the slug.

Large and green and growing and slimy.

Chad could do nothing but gape in horror.

From within the slug, something burst out, purple and green splattering onto the ground and walls. The slimy husk collapsed onto itself, and the thing from within stood proud and ashamed, tentacles flowing behind it like hair, carrying it as pride carries the sinner.

No mouth, no nose. Three eyes, and a crown of lies.

"A-, AAAAAHH!!" Chad screamed, and Adam couldn't even think of silencing him before he was brought to his knees. Somehow, from somewhere, Chad had gotten a bat. "SPIT HIM OUT; YOU FUCKING CUCK!!" Chad roared, the bat embedding itself into the top of Adam's squishy soft head.

Adam could do nothing more but quiver as his body grew. He couldn't warn Chad, he couldn't defend himself, he couldn't cry over how unfair it all was.

He'd tried his best. He really had.

So why did it have to end like this?

The Hendrix residence burst open like a present on Christmas, revealing the still-growing form of Antenora. The cold biting air greeted Adam with a gust flowing over his smooth, slimy back. Every single part of him was toxic. Lethal. He shouldn't have been surprised when he looked down and found the house in ruins. He shouldn't have been devastated when he looked down and found Chad's broker form in the rubble. He shouldn't have felt like screaming when he picked up the body and found it empty and dead.

But he was, and he did.

And even so, his body grew. Larger and larger, his entwining, desperately moving bundle of clawed tentacles crushed houses, ended bloodlines, and destroyed his hope of a new life. There was nothing he could do. When he rose, allowing his tentacles to lift his body into the air, he realized his size.

His real body may have only been about ten meters tall, but the tentacles were far beyond that, in the hundreds of meters when it came to length.

Looking down, he was once more met with that familiar sight of a town from above. Small insects moved about, and although the sky was dark and the moon was dim, he knew he was seen. If he wasn't seen, he was heard.

Below him, he could make out a ruin burst into flames. He didn't understand why this had happened, but it must have been because of some modern technology he couldn't understand. Then again, if he remained in this form, the chances of him getting to understand it was minimal. In fact, they were next to nothing.

And, to be sure, within mere minutes of him just standing/floating around, a small crowd of roaring beetles had collected at his feet, people (not insects) stepping out and pointing to him. Unlike yesterday, they were a tad bit more ready. At least now, the first thing they did was bring out their guns. Shoot, maim, hurt. It did nothing to him. The bullets opened wounds, and poisonous fluids flowed out. There was nothing they could do.

Adam didn't do anything else.

What could he do?

If he so desired, he could decimate the town, turn it into ashes, move onto another, and so in turn conquest the world.

But where was the fun in that? It's not like he wanted that. He hadn't wanted that back on Lutum either. All he'd ever wanted was some peace and quiet, and... well, he had thought he'd get that here, but...

The only thing that didn't dampen his spirits any further was the little bug that had now decided to find his main body. The bug, in this case, was now actually quite big, easily larger than his main body. It was filled with humans. One held some sort of funnel, another a gun. Adam stared at them as they hovered closer to him.

"DO YOU UNDERSTAND ME!?!" someone said from the large bug. Adam nodded. No point in keeping secrets, after all. "WILL YOU PLE-, WAIT, YOU UNDERSTAND ME?? REALLY!?!" they said. Adam nodded once more. "I-, UH... WAVE WITH YOUR LEFT HAND??" they said. Adam waved. "Hoo boy, uh... IF YOU UNDERSTAND ME, PLEASE ANSWER: WHY ARE YOU DESTROYING THE CITY!?!" they asked. Adam tried to shake his head to show how he wasn't trying to, but... really, it didn't say much.

Maybe he should've just ended them quickly? It didn't seem like he could do much for them, or that they could do much for him, so...

Adam quickly grew a mouth.

"I'm dreadfully sorry dear sirs, I've only just recently gotten a hold of this android, and I'm not quite sure how to control it," he lied.

"ANDROID??" they shouted back.

"Oh, yes, I was only looking for a pint of ice cream, and..."

The person stepped out of the helicopter and put the funnel down.

"Oh, don't worry! Happens to the best of us! Here, I've got some chocolate flavoured ice cream right here! Have a taste!" they said, handing Adam a cone. Adam licked it.

"Goodness gracious, this is quite the delight! No need for this old thing," he said, removing his body.

"Jolly good sir!"

"Jolly good!"

And then everybody ate ice cream but Ptolomaea didn't cuz he's sad his lover died.