What in the name of fuck was even going on?

If Pete Campbell was to be completely honest, he had not expected this day to turn out like this. He was just an ordinary, unassuming weeb who wouldn’t harm a fly. So, why was he being punished like this?

Not only did he have to wake up by his mother’s insistent shouting, but once he opened his eyes, he found not his mother’s angry face staring down at him, which would have been pretty bad, but instead something even worse. A damn monster. Giant and looming and green like emeralds, that abomination had just… well, it had grabbed the whole of him in one hand, which was terrifying, and then, it had forced him to skip school, and then…

It talked to him.

In a strange, not-old-not-young, not-quite-human, familiar-yet-off voice, it had told him odd little things, most noticeably was the last thing it had said. It had called itself… Adam. Which, as you might remember, was his best friend and worst foe, the former because they were friends, the latter because Adam was a handsome, popular kind of guy who didn’t understand Pete’s passions. That damn fool, he’d understand his folly, one day…

But that day was not today, because, whether Pete wanted to make sure the monster's words were true or not, he would not have been able to. The second it fell asleep, it had done very, VERY strange things, namely, it had pretty much dissolved into strings, which had then formed a sort of black-ish cocoon. And damn, it was large. It took up most of Pete’s rather large room, and easily blocked off the door, as well as the window. Not that Pete would have been daring enough to try to escape down the chute Adam usually climbed up on anyways.

His mother had thankfully not bothered him any and instead went to work as usual, but it did feel a bit strange. Pete’s only real solace lay in that at least he could go online since his desk was right by his bed. So, trying not to look at the giant cocoon behind him, he booted up his computer and went online. But even before he could go onto RRL to check out the latest updates and releases, he noticed something weird. He was getting pop-ups from Reddit at an alarming rate, all in regards to the town he lived in. And, more specifically, some strange phenomenon that had taken place just an hour or so earlier.

Sure, he really wanted to see what the latest chapter of “Reborn as a Magic Firefly, Help?” would hold, but something drew him to check out the latest news headlines about this strange event. And, there it was. “MASSIVE TENTACLED CREATURE SIGHTED OVER HUMBUGG - A SIGN OF THE END TIMES???” “GIGANTIC FLOATING OCTOPUS TERRORIZES TOWN - 6 DEAD” “SEE ALL THE LATEST FOOTAGE - MAGICAL GIRL FIGHTS MONSTER!?!” and many, many more articles suddenly flooded the internet. The “footage” in question was usually a spliced-together video from the camera aboard a helicopter that had been filming a nearby forest-fire, and from a camera on the ground filming an interview outside of a drug bust with Sergeant John B. Windsley.

Apparently, the helicopter had been swatted by one of the many tentacles and crashed to the ground, causing all the passengers to die pretty much instantly. It is unknown whether this was an active attack on the helicopter or one of the tentacles simply going berserk for a moment, but most are leaning to it being a deliberate attack, due to what happened later. Namely, the emergence of a “hero” to fight the creature. It was hard to see due to it being so far away, but it seemed to be a girl wearing a frilly red dress, carrying two swords and surfing on one.

When Pete had first seen the footage, he’d actually grown a little excited about the emergence of a “magical girl”, but she was slapped away the second she even tried something again the creature. Speaking of the creature…

There was no way he could deny it. The creature that had snuck into his room, held him hostage, threatened him, and built a cocoon in the middle of the room, was definitely “that creature”. God, the only thing that made Pete even a little hopeful about his own survival was that the creature didn’t actually seem to want to do him any harm, in fact, it… actually seemed quite nice.

...Then again, it did casually murder 6 people for no real reason, so…

Pete gulped hard, and waited anxiously for whatever was going to happen.

On the other side of town, Jessica had finally, after trudging through the town for about half an hour, returned back home. She felt like she’d done a full-body workout using only 100-kilo weights, and she was quite sore. Oh, so sore. But, more than just her body, her mind felt sore as well. That weird transformation… it was over now, but… the emotions she had felt back then still lingered. The anger, the hatred… it scared her.

Pushing open the door, she found the house empty, as it usually was when she and her brother returned home from school. Her brother…

Jessica moved through the house like a spectre, before finally finding her way to the living room, where she collapsed onto the couch. She couldn’t feel it, but warm tears streamed down her face.

When she finally snapped out of her daze, it was because the door slammed open, and John rushed inside.

“Jessica! Adam!! Are you here?!” he cried desperately, the click-clack of his shoes echoing through the house, until he finally arrived at the living room, where he found his daughter, sitting on the couch, he hair a mess and her eyes dead. “Jessica… Where’s Adam?” John asked. Her dead eyes turned slowly before falling on him, and he felt as if he was looking at Dorian Gray’s painting.

After having seen that abominable creature in the sky, even if it was from afar, all he could think about was the safety of his children. So, with a passing comment to his superior, he had dashed to the High School where his children went, only to find that they had not arrived. His breath in his throat, he had made his way back home, and… there he was.

Jessica stared at him, a strange light shining in her dull, dry eyes. “He… he’s…” Jessica looked down at her hands, and there went the waterworks again. Jessica did not want to describe what had happened to Adam. She did not want her father to know his son had died in a most agonizing manner, giving birth to a monster she was still unable to accept had actually existed. She did not believe that she had had any part in it either. Unbeknownst to her, across time, nay, across the world, similar experiences as the one she had just had occurred.

Nonetheless, reality escaped her. But John understood her. He saw the pain in her eyes, the loss in her voice. He dropped his briefcase, and in a state of shock, he lumbered over to the couch and collapsed next to her. “How did he die?...” John asked slowly. He didn’t seem to be all there, and neither was Jessica.

“That creature… that tentacled thing… it got him,” she explained, perfectly aware that it was a half-truth.

Together, the two wept a family member that still lived.

Elsewhere entirely, Pete was cowering in the corner of his room, anxiously gawking at the rumbling, twisting, twitching cocoon spread out in the middle of his room. Something was going to happen, and that soon. The room had grown icy cold, and Pete was fearing for his life. Whether this was because he had suddenly grown into a rational human being for the first time in all his years of existence or because he’d spooked himself up by reading every single article he could on the subject of his uninvited guest, nobody may know.

It began with a clawed, almost human hand bursting out from the cocoon along with a spray of a greenish liquid. The clawed hand was bright green, but as the rest of the arm emerged, it was clear that this brightness was exclusive to the end of the limb, as it gradually became darker, the shoulder itself being more of an ebony colour. Following this, the head emerged, and Pete had a feeling that had it had a mouth, it would have gasped for air. The eyes were not opened, but this was quite hard to see, since although the neck and chin had a lighter, greener colour, the rest of the head was black, including a bundle of thick tentacles hanging down his head like hair, obscuring much of the face from sight. The most striking feature apart from the tentacles were the dozen or so gradually elongated tentacles standing erect on his head, resembling a crown in general form and placement. These, similarly to the arms, also grew a brighter green the further it got to the end

Here, the being opened its eyes. There were three of them. And, as before, they were white, beady little things, ringed with blacker-than-black bags. It noticed Pete and must have decided to get up further, as it quickly rose the rest of its upper body from the liquid-filled cocoon. The hair-like tentacles hanging from its head must have been very long since they did not stop even now. Its upper body was strikingly like that of a normal human, if it weren't for two facts: one, it was almost completely black, and two, there were four arms instead of the usual two. Two of these arms were currently hoisting the rest of the creature outside the cocoon, but the other two rested on its chest in the typical vampire position, with the wrists forming a cross of sorts. The creature did not seem to notice this and simply continued.

Pete was just about to avert his gaze out of embarrassment when he noticed that the creature did not possess any reproductive organs at all. None. No nipples, no tentacle-down-under, and, if his theory was correct, no asshole either. But, he did have legs. These, much like the crown and the arms, had that weird fading effect where the ends would be a bright, almost neon green but the main body would be black.

But, the creature did not step out of the cocoon using its legs, as Pete thought, but instead stumbled twice, before being lifted out by something unseen. And then, it was out. It was mostly humanoid, with the only tentacles being the large, mostly black mass of tentacles extending from its head. The ends of these tentacles possessed three claws, two in the front one in the back, making it seem like a feet, and the way the tentacles billowed behind it made it seem like it had a cloak or a mantle made of the things. It did not stand on its feet, and instead, simply floated. Other than the ebony and green colours, the only other colour were the bright purple circles spread out into strange patterns. There were a couple around the neck like some sort of medallion, three along the thighs, two above the kneecap, and every wrist was lined with a violet bracelet of sorts. Other than this, all of the crown-like tentacles each had a single circle on the ends, apart from the longest middle one, which had two.

“Uh, um…” Pete mumbled. But before the being could even take a simple step towards him, it bucked over, its hands grasping at its head in pain. A violent ripple was sent through each and every limb it possessed, and suddenly, it started growing. At first, it was only about 2 meters tall, but that soon became 3, and within mere seconds, it was crouching on the floor, yet still almost fully filling up the room. “Whoa! HoLY-, JEsus Christ stop that!! You’ll destroy everything you fucking abomination!!!” Pete shouted. One of its many tentacles finally squished up against a shelf, causing a bunch of Pete’s limited edition anime figurines to clatter to the floor. “NOOOO MY LIMITED EDITION MAHOU SHOJOU ADVENTURE PIPPA!!!!!” Pete practically screamed as he tried desperately to run to the shelves to protect his beloved figurines, but the tentacled being was in the way.

Adam had to do something. If this continued, he could grow just about as big as his body deemed the minimum, and there would be nothing he could do. And he really didn’t want his first time meeting his former best friend to end in him destroying his room, and all his beloved big-eyed girl figurines. So, he knew just the spell. And, ignoring the fact that his former best friend had called him a “fucking abomination”, he quickly made about as small of a Magick Circle as he could. He didn’t have much Magick, but it would have to do.

That familiar lump formed within him and his body immediately stopped growing in order to fuel this instead. The lump was in his head, and weirdly enough, and it felt quite large, unlike the former lump. No, if one were to go in comparisons, it had felt equally heavy, maybe a little more, but his own size was a fair bit bigger now, although he hadn’t allowed it to become it’s true size quite yet.

...It was done. It felt formed, as formed as it could possibly become, at least, for now. His head was filled up with it, it was all that was inside of it, and he could feel his consciousness being transferred to it. So, in a final act, in order to just get it out, he simply let his head, as large as two grown men, fall against the ground, bashing his figurative brains open.

And out of his head, a body splattered onto to the floor. Pete, at this point, was distressed and appalled beyond measure. He was afraid and confused and angry and disgusted and WHAT THE FUCK JUST HAPPENED??

Slowly, very slowly, like a baby taking its first steps, the body stood up. It was tall and undoubtedly male. He was rather slim yet muscular, and seemed to be around 25-30 years old, his hair extending beyond his shoulders and a short stubble littering his cheeks and chin. His eyes were tired and had deep, dark bags around them, but overall, his eyes looked sharp and intelligent. His face was rugged and pointed, in other words, he was handsome. He also looked like a bum. A very gritty, handsome bum. And he was completely naked.

Stolen from Royal Road, this story should be reported if encountered on Amazon.

“Jesus fuck dude who-, what were you doing in there, what the fuck??!” Pete commented, and Adam slowly turned to him. He stood at around 190 cm, but something inside him felt different than his previous humanification… Yes, when he looked down, he was much higher up off the ground, and, also… muscular. Manly. Hmm. His hand reached up to touch his face. Chiselled features, a short stubble… ‘What in Yggnam?...’ Adam thought.

But something else was weird, as well. His inside didn’t feel like it was (oops!) all slugs as before: just a hollow cavity filled with molluscs. No, instead, it felt sort of… human-y? Adam didn’t quite know how to explain it, but he knew just the right way to test it. Opening the hole that a human would call a mouth, he touched the space inside. the first thing he felt was a wet, slimy slug, so it was definitely still (oops!) all slugs, but… wait. Something was wrong here. If Adam touched the space beneath the slug, he found that the slug was actually connected to the rest of the cavity?... And on the edges of the cavity, he found hard things, like, like… teeth??

With a pleasantly surprised expression colouring his face, Adam pointed at the inside of his mouth excitedly, showing off how mouth-ey his mouth cavity was. Pete didn’t look impressed.

“...Dude, stop touching yourself and put on some fucking clothes,” Pete spat out. Ohh, yeah, clothes. People didn’t like other people being naked, did they? Nope. So, he’d need some sort of clothing. And he knew just the thing. He was really lucky it hadn’t been broken down in the evolution process, but anyhow. Extending his right hand, Adam quickly cast the “Ingest” spell and quivered at the feeling of his limp, unmoving 12-meter long body being absorbed back into him, along with a bunch of unused Magick. And while he was at it, he also absorbed the cocoon, just for the sake of it. And, the one thing left here, was a small, black cowl, the perfect size for a child.

Adam’s body was not that of a child, but instead, that of a young-ish adult. So, although he could only barely get it buttoned around his thick neck, it certainly did not cover any part of his lower body. And so, Pete simply groaned.

“Look, dude, I have no idea what you’re trying to do, but you can’t walk around like that, okay? Look, I’ll borrow you like a couple of clothes, so just-, don’t touch anything, okay?” Pete said, turning around to rummage through his closet for a bit. Adam waited patiently. But, what he did realize was that, if he now had a mouth, that meant he had vocal cords now, right? And a stomach?? All that???

So, he’d be able to eat now? Sure, he could “eat” back in Lutum, but it did absolutely nothing for him. He gained nothing, he lost nothing. It was a waste of food. But, if he had a mouth and stomach and all that… he could now receive sustenance from food!! Oh what a delight that would be! And, if he also had vocal cords, that meant he wouldn’t have to establish a mental link with everybody he met! What a phenomenal delight!

As Adam had this small epiphany, Pete had finally found something that might fit.

“Look, this might be a tad small, but that’s your own damn fault, okay? You damn, monster… or whatever,” Pete cursed, handing over the small pile to Adam. Adam quickly took off his cowl and inspected the clothes. A black t-shirt, a pair of jeans, a black hoodie… yeah, that pretty much fit Pete’s colour scheme. Edgelord.

Adam quickly put it on, and it pretty much fit.

“See? Much more presentable. Now, uh… shoo? Or, what? What do you want from me?” Pete asked, rather sensibly, actually. Adam looked down and grabbed his prickly chin between his index and thumb. What did he want from Pete?... Well, friendship would be good, but, other than that…

Adam realized something and looked up at Pete with big eyes.

“What?” Pete asked, annoyed. Adam pointed at his throat and opened his mouth somewhat wide. He made a few lip-movements, but nothing came out. Then again, he hadn’t spoken manually in 600 years, so this much was to be expected.

“You-, what does that even mean? Can’t you speak or something?” Pete asked, genuinely befuddled. Adam nodded.

“So… you want me to teach you or something?...” Pete said, cocking an eyebrow at the suggestion. Adam nodded enthusiastically. Pete pinched the bridge of his nose and sighed exaggeratingly.

“You know what? You got me off school today, so why not?” Pete admitted, sitting himself down in his bed. Adam was about to sit next to him when Pete instead pointed to the carpeted floor. “I am your teacher now, and you will sit below me, is that clear?” Pete instructed. Adam knew perfectly well what this was. Pete always did this when he felt threatened - a false sense of superiority, faked confidence and a counterfeit bravado. But, Adam would humour him, if only so he would actually teach him, since, sadly enough, at this moment, he didn’t really think he could turn to anybody else. If his body looked even remotely like the one he had before this all happened, the teenage one, he might have been able to go home, but… he didn’t want to be sent to the hospital because he was suddenly mute. And also 27.

So, like an obedient little student, he sat down on the carpet, cross-legged, staring up at his new teacher with wondrous eyes. Meanwhile, Pete was slightly panicking. ‘Holy shit he actually did it-,’ was pretty much all Pete could think. But, nonetheless, he forcefully cleared his throat.

“Alright, uh, step one, um… I’m assuming you understand English to some extent?” Adam nodded. “Okay, good, so, try making a sound from your throat. Like, just use your throat when you breathe out?” Pete tried to explain. Adam furrowed his brows, not really understanding. But if he tried, he might remember.

“Hhhhhhuuuuuaaaaaaa” was approximately the sound he made, and second he did, his face lit up like a puppy with a new toy.

“Uh, good! Okay, so, um… try making like, ‘ah ah ah’ sounds, right?” Pete asked, suddenly feeling like a kindergarten teacher.

“Aaaah, ah, a, a, ah!” Adam said, a bright smile on his lips. By The Ten Divines, he felt proud.

“Alright, let’s do the alphabet, you do know the alphabet, right?” Pete asked, and Adam nodded. Slowly, somewhat unsure, Adam recounted all the letters, eventually gaining traction, until, at the end, he felt confident he could make words and sentences out of it. “Alright, great, uh, now, try saying like, some actual words?” Adam nodded.

“Heilu, ai am Adem,” he said, as a little introduction.

“...Are you really?...” Pete questioned gravely. Adam looked up at him blankly.

“Yis. Adum-, ADAM, ish mai name. Adam Bee Wyndslei,” he replied.

“Look, I have no idea what the fuck you are, or how you even came in here, or why you say you’re my friend Adam, so… look. Can you explain that? ...Adam?” Pete admitted, reluctant to call the older man in front of him who in no way resembled his (best) friend by that name. But, at seeing how he lit up like a light, Pete felt a little better about it.

“Ai-, I, wan day, out runnging, wif… with sister? With Jennifer, ‘nd den, black. Cu-, Could see nothing. But then, light. And then, I was ah slug. I became stronger. And then, I came back here. How long-, how long has it been?” Adam explained as simply as he could, without getting into any specifics.

“So, you… were transported to another world?...” Adam nodded. “Holyshitit’sareallifeisekai HERRMm, well, I saw you just yesterday, so, I don’t think you’ve actually been gone, like, any time at all?” Pete pondered but regretted his words when he saw how confused Adam looked.

“...Not even wan day?... Not a single day?! I-, I was there, on Lutum, for… For six hundred years!” Adam burst out, his hands waving about erratically.

“Hey hey hey, calm down dude! If you really are Adam, isn’t it a good thing?! Would you rather have come back 600 years in the future, with your whole family and all your pals dead??” Pete argued quite rationally, which was strange for him. Adam pondered the thought for a second, tasting the truth in it. “Plus, that far in the future, I bet there’ll be no magical girls, so there’s your motivation for you,” Pete argued less rationally but with more heart. Adam chuckled.

“...I suppose you’re rite, Pete. For once. Though I really have no idea what a magical girl is-,” Adam admitted, but, seeing the fiery flames of weeb burst to life in Pete’s eyes made him instantly regret this decision. But, suddenly, as soon as those fires started, they were extinguished, and for the first time since Adam could recall ever knowing him, it was not because he had called him a weeb.

“Um, dude? I just remembered something, uh, you don’t happen to recall what you did before going in that cocoon, d’ya?” Pete asked almost shyly, piquing Adam’s interest.

“Well, I can somewhat remember it, but I was really really exhausted at the time, so it’s mostly just a hazy memory,” Adam explained. Pete made a strange expression before rising up and walking over to sit in his 399$ gaming chair, where he swiveled over to face the monitor.

“See this?” he asked rhetorically, pointing to the computer. An article with the headline “FLOATING MONSTER CLOUD TERRORIZES TOWN” was sprawled out across the screen.

“What in the world?...” Adam mumbled, walking over to stand hunched behind Pete. Secretly, he was actually very excited. It was a computer!! Had Adam not been an athletic non-studier back here on Earth, he might have been able to introduce the human world to some revolutionizing modern technologies, but he wasn’t, so he didn’t. It was just on the cusp of a full-on industrial revolution when he came back, after all. Gods, saying “came back” still felt weird, surreal. Adam sort of wanted to rip the mouse out of his friend's hand and google up Friv to play some games, but Pete seemed serious about this strangely written thing, so he retained himself. He couldn't really read what it said, but it was probably important. 

“...Here, do you remember this?” Pete asked, clicking on a video with three big red circles and matching red arrows on it. Adam did not remember clickbait being this bad, but nonetheless. The video was rather short, but it showed a couple of important things, the monster up close, the helicopter crashing, and the emergence of…

“The little red ant?...” Adam asked out loud. As surreal as it was, he recognized the events. Plus, there was no way he wouldn’t recognize that handsome face on the monster, right?

“That,” Pete began, “is a magical girl. A real-life, honest-to-God magical girl! And that thing-, it just slapped her down!” Adam looked at the furious weeb with just the slightest bit of shame.

“Um, you do know that that was me, right?...” Adam asked, a little bit frightened. He wouldn’t be thrown out, would he?... Pete gave him a strange look.

“Look, I… I know what I saw when you first broke in here, and I know you say you’re Adam and all this, but… somehow, I just can’t believe it. Any of it. Like, sure, nothing makes sense and it must be magic and stuff, but even if you say right to my face that you’re this spaghetti monster-wannabe... that killed six people, nonetheless! I just… I’m in denial, I guess?” Pete chuckled softly, and Adam couldn’t tell if he was regretful or ashamed. Maybe both. If Adam was in his other form, however big it was, Pete would surely have believed it. But, right here, right now… no.

“...I wouldn’t have believed it either, Pete. You know me. Neither of us are superstitious, neither of us believe in the Five Grea-, oh, I’m sorry, “God”, so, I think, really… a lot of people must feel like this, just across town, I mean… a giant monster and a - what did you call it? - magickal girl started fighting out of nowhere, nobody would really believe it actually happened, right?” Adam said in an attempt to console Pete. Pete didn’t seem too relieved.

“Yeah sure, like, I understand, but… I guess what I’m trying to say is that… are you really Adam, or do you just have his memories? Like, where is Adam right now? Is he in another world, or is he, like… dead?” Pete asked cautiously, looking at the ikeman hobo standing hunched behind him with suspicious eyes. This man, creature, was barely human. Sure, it acted like a human, it had even made Pete feel somewhat comfortable with him being in his room an all, but… he did still kill six people as if he was doing nothing more than swatting down a fly. A man, no, a creature like that could hardly be called human. Especially with those eyes of his.

“Uhm… I’m pretty sure I’m Adam? I mean, I’ve been Adam for six hundred years, so… I’d say the Adam of this world transformed into me, right? That would make sense, yeah…” Adam theorized, thinking of something like what happened during Humanification and evolution happened here. Pete didn’t seem convinced.

“Y’know, I once read a novel where the main character thought she was someone whose soul was transferred into a spider, but, in reality, she was just given the memories of a girl, and, well, you might have that, maybe?” Pete said, completely indifferent about the massive spoiler he had just dropped.

Adam waved his hand. “Look-, no. I’m Adam B. Windsley, I’ve been Adam B. Windsley for as long as I’ve remembered, and whether or not you believe me, I don’t really care. To me, we’re friends. ...You are still my friend, right?” Adam didn’t mean for the last part to sound like a threat of some sort, but Pete took it as such.

“Y… Yeah! Of course, it’s just, well… Okay, look, um… let’s just go over, like, some facts here, right?” Pete said, trying to divert some attention from the whole “are you really tho?” question. Adam was pretty okay with this, and nodded.

“So, before you transferred, what do you remember?” Pete asked.

“I, uh, well, I woke up late, I and my sister were running to school, and boom I was gone,” Adam explained.

“So, considering that you appeared not at home or at school, but in the middle of town and that you were, you know, around yesterday, that would mean that the second you transferred there, you also transferred here, right?”

“Yeah?”

“So, what does this mean?”

“Um, I don’t know?”

“You’re hopeless-, alright, like this. Was there anybody who could have seen you transferring back, and thus confirm whether you became Mr Spaghetti-monster 2.0 or did something else?” Pete finally asked, swivelling his chair around to face the guy whose stupidity rivalled Adam himself.

“Uhhhhh… hmmmmm… wait, you don’t mean…? My Fa-,”

“YOUR SISTER, FUCKWAD!! Jesus, you’re as bad as he is! Fuckingjocksthelotofyou-,” Pete mumbled into his hands as if he was weeping.

“OH! Ohhhhh! You’re right! Gods damn, how did I not think of that… well, the whole idea of being back is still kind of weird, you know? So, you think I should, like call her or something? I don’t have one of those, uhh, you know those devices you hold in your hand? Like a long-range mental link kind of?” Adam asked, making a “pressing buttons” motion with his hand. Pete felt like sobbing.

“...A phone?”

“Yeah, a phone! Do you have one I could borrow and talk to her?” Adam asked, suddenly really hyped to be able to talk to his sister again. Pete didn’t answer and simply handed over his cell phone.

Adam received it, but his giddiness remained only for a second. Pete quickly grabbed the phone, found the phone number for the Windsley household, pondered for a second whether Adam could press the green button himself, pressed the green button, and handed it back to him while the phone went “beeeep… beeeep…”, and, finally, flipped the phone right-side-up while Adam bounced like a kid in a candy store.

The atmosphere in the Windsley household was grim, to say the least. John had gotten up a while ago to make himself a lunch of some sort, but he hadn’t eaten it, so the single piece of toast he’d made had just been sitting on the countertop for the past hour or so. Jennifer hadn’t moved from her spot by the television. Eventually, the landline that they still kept for some reason started ringing. The tone consisted of three short beeps, three long beeps, and then three short beeps, all on loop. It was an annoying tone after a while, but they didn’t hear it often.

John, who was in the middle of pacing around the house, slowly went up to it and picked it up. “This is John D. of the Windsley household, state your name and occupation please,” he said in a tired, hoarse voice. He’d learnt the little joke during his years as a police student for laughs, and it had stuck with him to the point that he said it on reflex. The voice on the other end felt familiar in some strange way, but other than that one little feeling that he’d heard it before, it was a stranger. John would ordinarily ask if he’d called the wrong number, but as it was, John didn’t feel like saying anything.

After listening for a few seconds, he turned to the living room.

“Jessica, it’s for you,” he called, putting the phone down on the side of the table. Jessica did not answer. So he picked up the phone again.

“...She doesn’t want to talk,” he said briefly. But the man on the other side would not give up. “Look, I don’t even know who you are, I don’t have the energy to-,”

“it’s about her brother” Adam suddenly interjected. It was his hidden trump-card, and he hadn’t wanted to hit her with it so soon, but he didn’t have a choice.

He heard a bit of a clatter on the other end before, finally, he heard his sister’s powerful I-will-mess-you-up voice, the last time he’d heard it being 600 years ago or so.

“Who are you!?”