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The Eldritch Horror Returns to Earth, but Things are a Bit Different
Chapter 21: Eldritch Horror Finds Out About the Wonders of Human Style

Chapter 21: Eldritch Horror Finds Out About the Wonders of Human Style

Birds chirped, the sun had risen, early-bird suburbians were jogging around without a care in the world: a picture of a perfect morning. A smile was already on his face when he arose, his muscular, hefty body stretching out like a cat. Rubbing the tired from his eyes, he quickly reached over to his left, only to find Adam’s spot noticeably empty.

His eyes popped open, and with a strange frantic energy he didn’t exactly expect of himself, he scanned his room. Thankfully, the man was standing right there, eyes lined with dark bags, standing tall and straight-backed, one hand behind his back and the other gingerly clasping a comic Chad recognized as being one of the earlier ones, although he couldn’t tell which one it was from that distance.

A moment of silence came and went. In the soft light of the rising sun, framing Adam where he stood, the man seemed almost like a deity. The deity turned to his observer. Cold eyes, frozen lakes of unsaid sin, fell onto Chad. He was observed. He felt dizzy. Eyes swimming, unsure of where to land, he tried in vain to meet Adam’s gaze.

“You’re awake, at last. Good. My, I must say, you’ve got quite the collection here,” the man said in a voice as cold as his eyes. Closing the comic, he delicately placed the comic (a tome would have fitted him better) back in its rightful place. With nothing to hold, his right hand folded itself to join his other arm on his back. A flicker of a smirk on his otherwise emotionally frozen face, the man fully turned to face the still-sitting Chad.

“Who are you!?” Chad roared, jumping to his feet with all the agility of a seasoned warrior getting back on his feet. Jeans-blue eyes scanned his intruder (opponent), making notes of small differences other people wouldn’t notice. Posture and eyes aside, he just seemed like a completely different man. The way his legs stood firm and separated screamed boundless confidence, perhaps even arrogance, the tilt of his chin and neck making Chad feel small and looked down upon.

“...I am Adam B. Windsley. Or, if your mortal mind can bear to know the name of the gods, I am Antenora,” he said, his small, amused smirk morphing into a fully toothed grin. A laugh much like any villain anybody had ever heard seemed to hide just behind his canines. “Now, what say you, my human witness?”

“Oh, so it’s you, Adam! Sorry bro, you were acting kinda weird so I got confused for a second there,” Chad said with a relieved smile, dropping both stance and defences. Man, Adam was such a goof. First, he popped up apparently having lived 600 years in some weird other-world, and now he was acting like some classic comic book villain! What a trickster!

“You know me, mortal?” Adam cocked his head to the side, actually showing some emotion other than amusement for once, “yes, you do, don’t you? Furthermore, I… know you.” Pinching his chin, he was clearly thrown into thought. While Adam thought about why he knew this grunt-looking mortal, Chad took the chance to approach him, unnoticed.

Adam proceeded to mumble for a good ten seconds, Chad inching ever closer, until he finally stood right in front of him, a mischievous smile on his face. Adam did not notice. If he had, he might have grown suspicious. As it was, Chad was given an excellent opportunity, which he took.

Throwing his arm back, he slammed it back onto Adam’s shoulder, allowing a loud slap to resound, causing Adam to flinch violent and jump at least two feet into the air.

“DUDE!!” Adam shouted, actually looking quite upset, his hands jerking out from behind his back, one to rub his now sore shoulder and one to point accusingly at his howling friend. Chad, in turn, laughed only harder, clasping at his sides as if he’d just pulled the funniest joke in all of the lands. Adam could physically feel his chins heating up at the embarrassment as if the ache in his shoulder wasn’t enough. “You-,”

“No, no, bro, don’t worry! Pfft, cool it!” Chad said, wiping a tear from the corner of his eye. The change in his friend had been a complete 420. Maybe he’d have considered it eerie if he didn’t find his friend’s reaction to it so damn funny. Actually, anybody but he would have found the whole scenario very frightening. A stranger in the shape of a friend. “It was just a prank, bro!”

“It hurt!” Adam huffed, the hand not clasping his shoulder already preparing a rudimentary healing spell. Sure, he was pretty accustomed to pain as a whole, but it wasn’t like he couldn’t feel it at all. But as long as he healed it in time, it shouldn’t leave a mark of any sort. As he hardly needed to look at his spell circle to draw it (like a novice would’ve) he was met with the excited and deeply intrigued gaze of Chad, who stared at the spell circle with childlike wonder.

“DUDE!! What is that!?” he said, pointing to the green-tinted floating spell circle. Adam furrowed his brows, glancing between his (best) friend and the almost complete formation hesitantly.

“What, the spell circle?”

“YEAH!!”

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“You… haven’t you seen one before? You’ve used a spell before. The fireball one.”

“Well, I mean, yeah, but I couldn’t see it! What spell is this?” he asked, and if stars could manifest in the eyes of teenagers, Chad’s eyes would be the ones. Adam looked at the simple spell. Telling him would be easy, but even easier would be to just show him. With a shrug, he manoeuvred the spell circle over to his aching shoulder, and before Chad could touch it or anything, he thrust his hand through, his now glowing green hand planting itself onto the shoulder.

A green glow emanated from the injured muscle as Adam felt around for the root cause of his injury. It really wasn’t much of an injury, no tendons had been severed, no bones had been shattered, but a few veins had burst, which meant that it would have caused a bruise if he hadn’t done this. Reckless child, he was. Sighing, Adam got to work, his Magick fixing even the tiniest of injuries. Within mere moments, his pain was fully relieved, and he was assured it wouldn’t cause any complications down the line.

“-Done.”

“Bro, what did you do??”

“I healed my shoulder. It’s just a basic spell, anybody could do it, really. Although, of course, some elements are less suited towards healing. Mine and yours included,” Adam explained, moving over to beside his bed to actually dress back up in his uniform. As little as he cared for human anatomy, being half-naked among other humans were apparently not a costume, and so, getting dressed was a need.

“Bro. This whole magic stuff is, like, a lot, isn’t it?”

“Magick.”

“Magick?”

“Yes, Magick is quite a lot. I’ve studied it for 600 years, and, well, I’m nowhere near close to finding the truth,” Adam said with a solemn smile as he buttoned up his shirt. Chad decided to follow Adam’s footsteps by also getting dressed, but more so by putting on a pair of shorts and a T-shirt from his dresser.

“So, like, what’re elements tho?”

“Elements… mine would be acid and poison, yours, fire. Element is one of those traits that aren’t fully biological or psychological. You may have the constitution for a powerful ice element, but depending on your personality and the element of your awakener, you may instead end up with a water element, or even snow. That element, in turn, colours your Magick.”

“I don’t get it, but it sounds cool!”

“Yes, it is very cool. Remember, your element changes almost every aspect of your Magick, making you more suited towards one thing or another. I would not recommend you try to and pick up healing. Focus on attack spells and-, well, I doubt you’ll need to learn any actual spells since there isn’t much for you to use it against.”

“What if the sky noodle decides to strike back?” Chad asked, surely only thinking of one thing. The one thing Adam didn’t want him to think about.

“That’s-, he won’t-, no. That thing won’t show up, and if he does, I assure you, he won’t attack you. That’d be mean.”

“Alright bro, if you say so. But if big evil monsters start popping up, you bet your Blart I’ll need some cool spells to kick-start my career as a superhero!” Chad said, grinning ear-to-ear. Adam smiled back, a bit taken aback, but seeing it as a gesture of well-meaning and nothing else. If he was lucky, he wouldn’t have to deal with a fire-wielding Chad trying to stomp him into the curb. Not that he’d succeed, but…

“Yeah, of course, man,” Adam said, finally putting on the final part of his outfit: the jacket. The whole process of putting the uniform on was surprisingly intuitive. Except for the flappy fabric part. He couldn’t understand it.

Chad, clad in a casual outfit of shorts and T-shirt (with flame patterns, of course) looked him up and down, finally stopping by his neck, where the collar of Adam’s shirt was unbuttoned.

“Bro, you forgot the necktie,” he said, jerking a thumb at the piece of fabric laid out over a chair. Adam glanced over at it, a strange form of anxiety at having his insecurity pointed out taking over him. Maybe he shouldn’t have brought it just in case. Waste of a perfectly good inner pocket.

“Um, yeah, I don’t really-,” he mumbled, stumbling over his words. Chad shook his head, hands on his hips.

“Bro, no style is a crime,” he said, eyes oddly serious as he said something so ironic even Adam could notice it. Adam was about to point this out as a sort of comeback to hide his unwillingness to talk more about the tie, but Chad cut him off before he even opened his mouth. “I guess it can’t be helped. I’ll teach ya, bro.”

“I-, what?” Adam bumbled, incapable of doing anything as Chad confidently strode over to the chair and grabbed the tie from where it hung. Adam shuddered when Chad looked back at him, his eyes glinting strangely. Chad seemed to only have eyes for Adam’s neck. It was… scary. Somehow.

“Let’s go!” Chad exclaimed, walking right on back to the very dazed Adam.

“First up, you gotta button your shirt all the way up! Not doing so will bring shame to your class, school, society, and cousin Joe,” Chad said, and it took all of Adam’s willpower not to flinch as Chad reach at his neck to button the final few buttons. Bad memories flashed through his mind, and when Adam returned, his collar was fully buttoned, and… kind of comfortable.

Either this meant that Adam had buttoned it wrong the day before to make the collar so uncomfortable, or Chad was a master of the illusionary arts, successfully having tricked even Adam into believing it was comfortable. Most likely, it was the latter. Adam felt proud at having such a gifted student.

“Alright, and now, we flip up the collar like,” Chad unfurled the flap of the collar, which was also quite comfortable, cool and nice, “this!”

From somewhere, Chad grabbed the necktie and looped it around Adam’s neck, who briefly wondered if he was about to be hanged, Pteria-styled. Carefully, he fixed it so the broader end was longer than the thin end. Clearly, he was good with this.

“And now, the rabbit jumps over the log,” he mumbled more to himself than to Adam, pulling the large end over the small.

“Runs into the hole,” large goes under the small and through the hoop around the neck.

“Under the log,” long underneath small, “back into the hole…”

“Jumps back over the log,” he pulled the large end over the newly formed knot, “back into the hole, and…”

Finally, he pulled the large end through the knot and tightened it with the small end.

“-And ran all the way home!” he finally said, with a broad, satisfied smile. Adam could only gaze in wonder at the ornate little knot around his neck. It felt strange, but good. Like that was where it was supposed to be. How it should be. “Ah, not to forget folding down the collar,” he did so, “and buttoning the jacket!”

“Whoa…”

“And there you are dude! Handsome as a tiger, eh?” Chad teased, grinning as Adam surveyed his disposition. This looked… completely. Somehow, professional.

“Alright bro, that’s cool and all, but if we don’t hurry, we might miss breakfast!”

“Oh, uh, yeah!” Adam said, trying to suppress a blush.