After crossing the gorge thanks to Gugu’s heroics, the party found themselves surrounded by a strange tingling magic. It wasn’t long before Beorn spotted a shitty old cottage, half fallen in on itself. While Zain peeled off to do his own thing, Tenli approached the shack, the prickling of magic intensifying the closer she got.
Thanks to her killer instincts, she realized she should stop, as a forefield of some sort kept the party from getting any closer without a hearty zap. She decided to look around, seeing if anything might be in tune with the magic keeping them out.
And indeed, she spotted a large rock perched on a cliff that looked just the right dimensions to fit a pedestal in front of the shack. On a hunch, the gang decided to bring down the rock. Sven scaled the cliff, and with a chuckle, tossed down the 500lb rock, yelling “Gugu, catch!”
Lucky for Gugu, she couldn’t be crushed so easily. Sven clambered back down, and brought the stone over to the pedestal. As he approached, the magic hummed. It vibrated through his whole body, but he pressed on, and sat the rock into the pedestal. The magic subsided. Calm washed over the group.
They proceeded in to inspect the shack. It had certainly seen better days, the roof sagging, the wooden walls succumbing to rot, but there was a romantic glow about. Dried flower petals were strewn across the cabin, and an altar to an okay-looking middle aged woman sat in the back of the shack, two candles burning on either side.
As they continued their inspection, Zain found a nice patch of flowers outside the shack. He collected a few, and perhaps he meant to woo Tenli with a romantic gesture as he approached the window using his stealth. He popped up, and before he could get a word out, Tenli tried to punch him. Her fist flew straight, but Zain, familiar with the scorn of ladies, darted out of the way. And so Tenli gave him a vicious mocking, bruising his ego.
Whatever romantic gesture Zain had planned, he wound up digging up the flowers looking for a grave. Beorn decided to come assist, moving earth to reveal whatever might be under the flowers. Nothin.
Orophor, meanwhile, heard the whisper of a nymph in his ear, not literally, but metaphorically, as he came to realize that the flowers outside that the party was digging up were the same flowers strewn all about the shack. Beorn brought some flowers in, and used a spell to make them grow and proliferate like mad, making the room absolutely burst with flowers.
The illusion magic Tenli had sensed earlier was broken, and the room expanded rapidly, Zain still on the outside pushed violently across the meadow. In this gorgeous antechamber of stone, the altar still stood, now decorated with living wreathes and chandeliers rather than candles. Next to the altar, a staircase.
Unauthorized use of content: if you find this story on Amazon, report the violation.
Sven put Balthazar to use, sending him up the stairs to scout it out.
Meanwhile, Zain decided to climb the tower. Using all his feminine wiles, he mounted that pillar of stone like the beautiful dame she was, climbing forcefully and steadily. In the windows, he saw what looked like a sad bachelor pad.
Balthazar came back down and reported a door at the top of the stairs, seemingly unsuspicious. The group followed him up, and had him enter first. Inside, Balthazar witnessed horror of horrors, a scene to haunt the waking nightmare he now called life. An old man’s weiner.
The group met Gadoof, the necromancer of this tower. He seemed friendly enough, after tucking away his schlong and tying up the belt of his robe. He asked who kissed, since an act of love was necessary to break the illusion, and seemed a tad disappointed to hear they had just grew hundreds of flowers on the altar of his dead wife. Gadoof spoke with Orophor about Sporkle, the game of white and black stones, and discussed the basics of necromancy with… Beorn, I want to say?
Tenli put some pressing questions to the necromancer, asking about the relic. Gadoof explained the principle of necromancy, that if another creature wields a piece of flesh from the necromancer, they’re powerless against them. His dear Shiela died in the campaign against the Death Head, before King Ulric got the relic.
Meanwhile Zain inspected some rooms. He saw a dusty old alchemy room. He saw a room of dead bodies. The dead bodies really seemed to intrigue him, and he got real close. Then grabbed. He failed to evade the surprise grapple from the corpse, and was incapacitated, led out of the room and down the hall tightly held by a rotting body. The corpse brought him before the group, and by this time, Gadoof’s belt came undone, and she, like Balthazar, saw his weiner.
The party told Gadoof they know Zain, and the corpse released him.
Zain used his new freedom to sneak off again up to a telescope and peep on a lady across the land. He also rolled up and stole the star chart that Gadoof has clearly spent decades mapping out.
Meanwhile, Gadoof asked the party whether they had six friends joining. Beorn realized those were the mercenaries chasing them, and Gadoof lit up, excited to show the party his arsenal. From a shielded room in the tower, they saw the 6 mercenaries meandering about below.
As the mercenaries tried to figure out how to get in, Gadoof told them that the ice stone could be used to summon the sea spirit and cause a new ice age. Because of its high cost and the trouble crossing warring borders, establishing a puppet in Dellin would allow the Death Head to mine and ship Ice Stone to their headquarters in Solsip. WHICH SEEMS TO BE EXACTLY WHAT THE REAGENT IS (TENLI REALIZED).
They then asked if Shiela had any answers for them as to what they should do to stop it. After Gadoof slit his corpse minion’s stomach and shoved its intestines in its own mouth, Shiela began to talk to them, embodying the corpse. She had some neat stuff to stay.
Interested again in the mercenaries, who appeared to be making progress, they fired a ballista and pinned one to a wall. Beorn climbed the tower, and from the top, called down lightning, absolutely shitting on 3 of them. Then Tenli throws down a little clay ball Badoof gave her because she was so interested in his Shiela, and it made an absolutely horrendous sound. They asked if he had any more of those, but alas, it took him 50 years to collect enough souls to make that one weapon.
Finally, after being pestered about simple Necromanctic texts, Gadoof gave Orophor “The Modern Necromancer,” in common language. Basically “Necromancy for Dummies.” Unfortunately, Orophor can’t read.