Leaving her mom and Savri to talk, Ren went to take a shower. By the gods, did she ever need one, like she did now. That and a change of clothes. That robe Savri got for her in Len-Cas was both uncomfortable and in dire need of washing after this long on the road. So when she stopped by her room to grab some clothes, Ren was happy to see that her room wasn't ransacked. She was worried that Kojiro would destroy everything as an extra fuck you against her, but maybe he was too busy murdering the people living here and raping poor Lilyth.

The chamber was large and its focal point was a king-size sleigh bed with a really soft mattress and soft green sateen bedclothes. The walls were painted blue and there was a magical chandelier hanging off the ceiling. Other than the room had everything a growing-up girl needed: a wardrobe, a small bookcase, a vanity, and some comfy armchairs. There were also a lot of “Ren touches” all over. Her plushie collection, a guitar she tried to learn to play, The painting of the lake some travelling artist gave her as a courting gift. She did not have the heart to turn the man down. The poor soul had spent hours painting that for a woman with a marked lack of interest in men. Luckily, she didn't have to, as her father found out about that and had one of the guards explain to the artist that Kenji Yamaoka would never let his only daughter marry someone like him. Oh, how she would have loved to shove her marriage to Leera into his face. While she never cared for the artist, ultimately her father had no right to throw him out, so she initially hung that painting just to annoy him. Over the years it grew on her, and whenever she looked at it, she wondered whether the poor man had managed to find a woman who would appreciate him. Not for the first time she found herself wishing him the best of luck and regretting not giving him a chance.

Maybe over time, I would have grown to love him. Then again… perhaps his getting thrown out was the best thing that had happened to him given what happened over the past few days.

Ren sighed, took out a grey shirt, blue wide-leg pants and a green jacket out of the wardrobe and went to shower.

The stream of hot water released all the tension she felt since that crossbow bolt hit her.

Ren felt tired. She was so exhausted, in fact, that instead of rejoining her mother and Savri, she went back to her room to lie down for a moment. She missed her bed so much. It was so comfortable. Ren couldn’t relax, however. Her head was still filled with a maelstrom of thoughts about her brother and the battle for the estate.

I killed two people today. Why do I feel nothing? Shouldn't I feel sick? Am I this far gone? Monsters or not… I took their lives. Then again, how different is it from ordering people to make “examples”? Those people are just as dead. If anything… Those two men I killed today had far more merciful deaths than the others.

Oh, Leera… why did you let me do this to you? Why did I not see the truth until I lost you forever?

‘Because you are only a mortal, Ren,’ she heard Nyx say.

There was a thundercrack and the goddess appeared next to her on the bed. Ren saw that Nyx’s eyes were puffy and her cheeks wet from tears.

I guess even a goddess can be affected by an event like this.

Ren sat up and offered her a hug. Nyx gladly accepted. There was no flirtiness to it… just a need for comfort.

‘How is she holding up?’ her patron asked after a few moments.

‘She’s pretending she’s doing much better than she actually does.’

‘I suppose that is on-brand for her,’ Nyx sighed and lay down on the bed.

Ren followed her.

‘Pardon me for asking this, Nyx… but why me? Why not talk with Savri or, well… Lilyth?’

‘Lilyth is with Aki and Caeileera. I don’t want to intrude on them. Not yet. Savri needs a drink, while you Rennie… you need a friend.’

The goddess paused for a moment and then sighed.

‘And so do I.’

‘I guess it is hard to have someone you care about go through this.’

‘You are right… I really don’t… don’t know what to think of all this. Some part of me still can’t believe a champion of mine…’

‘She can’t be the first…’

‘It’s not that simple. While there is often very little we can do to help you guys in your darkest moments, there is one thing we always do… be with you. And here… I couldn't. Lilyth had to face this alone.’

‘Isn’t that true of most women… in her position?’

‘Yes. It pains me that I can’t be with them either. It is the same with you mortals in a way. You can't save everyone, but if there is one person you can… but some external force prevents you…’

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‘I understand. Sorry, I didn't mean to…’

‘No problem… These rules we gods have to follow… are weird from a mortal standpoint. But they are there for very good reasons.’

‘It is weird to think of a god as powerless.’

‘We limit ourselves because we love you, mortals. If we don’t… bad things happen. And… remember when in the tavern you told Lilyth you were never quite sure we were there?’ That's because we prefer it that way. It lets you maintain your autonomy. There are of course… exceptions, like looting a temple, but those are very few. In a way, my patronage over you was guaranteed the moment Ere, in no uncertain terms, spelled some things to you through Lilyth.’

‘Because I learned there were eternal consequences to my actions?’

‘Precisely. In a way, Ereshkigal gave you a very strong disincentive for certain activities. Meaning, that your every choice is viewed through the lens of “Will this anger her”.’

‘So you agreed to guide me…’

‘Yes.’

‘But what about that Innkeeper?’

Nyx laughed.

‘Oh, him. He can go fuck himself. If there is anything I can't stomach it is misogynists… people who hate women.’

‘I guess my brother is one of them.’

‘Yes… so when Lilyth became my champion, or you for that matter, it placed certain obligations on me as a recompense for limiting your choice range. Guiding you is one of them, and so is… making sure you aren't alone when the worst happens, like what Lilyth had to go through today.’

Nyx began to sob. Ren, unsure what to do, took the goddess's hand into hers and squeezed it.

‘Th-thank you,’ Nyxie sniffed.

‘Like you said, we both needed a friend, and if it is some consolation, I want to thank you for saving me, from both myself and my family. If it wasn't for you and Ereshkigal… I would eventually become as lost as Kojiro.’

Nyx gave her a tired smile through her tears.

They lay in bed for a few more moments and then went to rejoin the others in the dining room. Ireela was surprised by the unexpected guest.

‘And who might you be?’ she asked. ‘I didn't hear you come into the house.

‘Mom, this is Nyx,’ Ren replied, realising it sounded like she was introducing a fiancee.

‘Hiya!’ the goddess said with a weak wave. ‘You may have heard of me under a different name. I used to be called Ter’ius.’

‘As in the… the…’ Ireela stuttered.

‘Nyx is my patron deity, mom,’ Ren explained, this time sounding like she was telling her mom she was gay.

Seeing her mother's expression she gave her a very quick version of how this happened.

It didn't help one bit. Ren should have probably skipped the bit about getting contacted by the Dread Queen. And Lilyth being her Paladin.

‘Don’t worry, Ireela of the Bloody Perch Clan,’ Nyx said. ‘It gets easier with time.’

‘I doubt that.’

Then something occurred to her.

‘How do you know my name?’

‘Goddess,’ Nyx smiled.

‘Right… Sorry.’

‘No need to apologise. That's a lot to process.’

‘That’s an understatement of the week, I think.

Lilyth

I think I must have drifted off for a moment, because when I was woken up by the knocking on the library door I found myself lying down on the couch, my head in Aki’s lap. I looked up and saw my wife’s worried face, though my giving her a tired smile turned that frown upside down, as they say it.

I can’t make her worry like this anymore.

As I slowly got up, I saw Caei walk up to the door and open it.

‘What’s up?’ she asked.

‘Someone is here to see Lilyth,’ I heard Savri’s voice.

Who…

That question was answered when I saw Nyx standing in the corridor. She looked absolutely devastated.

‘Nyxie!’ I called out to the goddess, as I got up to my feet.

Then the most Nyx thing ever happened as she burst into the library and tackle hugged me.

‘I’m s-so so-so-rry,’ she cried, as my brain tried to process the sudden invasion of my personal space.

Her touch didn’t bring discomfort though. If anything, there was a weird feeling of serenity to it. I also felt… a pop in my very essence, for lack of a better term, and I shuddered with something that was a mix of a full-body orgasm and the sensation of an oxygen-starved body being able to finally breathe.

‘A-are you okay?’ horrified Nyx asked.

‘Yes,’ I said and reciprocated the hug.

She squeezed me tighter. Then she squealed.

‘My link! My link to you is back!’

I searched inside of me. Yes… there was a faint tug of magic where there was nothing before. I didn’t even realise it was gone.

Sweet Ereshkigal… what have they given me?

‘Poison,’ I heard her sad and gentle voice. ‘Terrible poison for someone like you.’

I wasn’t actually asking her, but it was comforting to realise she also didn’t abandon me.

‘I know,’ she said. ‘And always remember that neither me nor Nyx will ever leave you, my child. Now rest. You will need to be at your full strength for the trials likely yet to come.’

All it takes is all I got.

Ereshkigal didn't respond, but I felt immense regret coming through the link.