‘Anyway, I do have a wedding gift for you, dear,’ Irmen said after we calmed down.

A small and furry creature with a long snout, floppy ears and a small lure hanging from its forehead emerged onto the beach. Its fur was white with blue semi-liquid stripes, while its two tails appeared to be fully made of water. It was absolutely adorable and I fell in love with it instantly.

‘Oh my god!’ Lilyth exclaimed. ‘A water doggo!’

I took the creature into my hands, raised it to chest level, and hugged it. It licked my face causing me to squeal.

‘That’s a lumizu,’ Irmen explained with a smile. ‘A minor water fae, which is indeed like dogs from your world. Nurture her, and she will prove itself a strong companion.’

‘What do we feed her?’ I asked.

‘Lumizu just love fish. But they didn't need to follow a specific diet. Joys of being magic.’

Lilyth approached me and scratched our new pet’s head. It let out a happy arf and started purring.

‘Some cat there, too,’ Lilyth said and yielded room to Caei who also wanted to examine our new friend.

‘I know we’ve only had her for a few moments,’ Caei said, while carefully petting the happy lumizu.‘But if anybody hurts that thing I will launch a crusade to make their life into a living hell.’

Everyone burst out laughing at the seriousness of the statement. Even the furry creature seemed amused. Though it was hard to tell given how happy it always seemed to be.

‘I was thinking we could name it after my mom,’ I said. ‘Her name was Veenaya.’

‘Veenaya it is,’ Lilyth said and Caei gave a hearty nod, still enamoured with the creature.

‘I have one more gift for you, but I think you need free hands for it,’ Irmen said with amusement in her voice.

Caei eagerly extended her hands and I handed Veenaya over to her. My wife squealed from joy and hugged the little creature.

‘I never had a pet before,’ she explained, holding our lumizu closely. ‘I always heard that Dwynveians liked keeping them, but not us in the Badlands. Unless you count the lower ones. Which I don’t. You are not like those horrible monsters, are you?’

She kissed our new family member on the head. Veenaya let out another happy arf and, still purring, nuzzled against Caei. Ren and Savri slowly approached her and carefully petted it.

‘Can I hold her?’ Ren asked.

Caei seemed a bit conflicted at first but passed Veenaya to Ren, who immediately hugged the lumizu.

‘It’s so fluffy.’

Irmen and Nyx couldn't resist laughing at my companions’ cuteness overload. My patron approached me and gave me a pendant. This was a simple downwards pointing triangle.

‘I guess you know what this is for. Caeileera? Got one from Akh'ret for you. Like Ere, he can’t really show up on Dwynveia without bad things happening.’

She handed my wife a pendant shaped like a triple spiral.

Wife.

That phrase was really starting to grow on me. My whole life I was dreaming of some handsome prince coming to Dan-Hem, falling in love with me and taking me to live with him in his palace. The handsome prince turned out to be a pretty and foul-mouthed princess from another world. I was already gone from Dan-Hem when we met and we are technically both homeless. And then a second princess crashed into our lives. I was really starting to wonder what my mum would think about this whole mess. I couldn't help but think that she would need a lot of time, and likely alcohol, to get used to me now sharing my life with two women. That I’ve known for less than two weeks.

‘Thank you,’ Caei replied to Irmen, bringing me back to reality.

We will have time to worry about our terrible decision-making skills laters. Though I doubt it. I love both Lilyth and Caei. Now we just need a place to settle down and live a normal life. Or at least a quiet place where we can celebrate properly. I hate living on the road.

‘Now,’ Irmen continued, ‘I know you have a difficult and dangerous path ahead of you, Aki. So I imbued your pendant with additional power. You can use it to send Veenaya back to the realm of Water whenever you think the situation calls for it. It will be a while until she will be of use in combat, assuming you want her to fight alongside you to begin with. I’ll fully understand if you won’t.’

I found the idea of putting our little fuzzy bundle of joy through hardship abhorrent. I booped her on the nose.

‘No, I don’t think we will,’ I said

‘Yeah,’ Caei shuddered. ‘No way ‘

Lilyth looked especially horrified by the idea and simply shook her head.

She did mention having this “cat” thing before.

Lil reached out to Ren and took Veenaya from her. She buried her face in our lumizu’s fur. Just before she did, however, I noticed the glistening of tears in her eyes.

I can’t imagine how much must she be missing it. We really are all she has here.

Ren wanted to ask what was going on, but Caei shook her head. I walked up to Lilyth and hugged her and Veenaya. I could hear my wife’s sobs that she was desperately trying to stifle. Caei soon joined us.

‘You have us now,’ she whispered. ‘I know we can't replace the family you lost, but we are building a new one.’

Veenaya let out a supporting arf. Or maybe she was just happy her three new mommies were near her.

‘Thanks, guys,’ Lilyth muttered and lifted her head.

I wiped the tears off her face. She looked very embarrassed by this.

‘Don’t feel ashamed by your grief, daughter of Terra,’ Irmen said. ‘This is a wound that will take a long time to heal.’

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‘You can rely on us whenever you need it,’ I said. ‘You don’t have to carry your woes alone.’

‘You have us now,’ Caei agreed. ‘Now and forever.’

‘And you have me,’ Lilyth said in a shaky voice.

‘If there were finer marriage vows, I have yet to see them,’ Irmen said.

‘Yes,’ Nyxie laughed. ‘You three goofballs will work out just fine.’

Then she got serious.

‘As a goddess, I cannot tell you what you should do. But as a friend… leave this island. Go rest. I don’t think searching for either Kaede or the River Goddess would be healthy for any of you right now. You’ve all been through a lot of trauma.’

‘I concur,’ Irmen said sadly. ‘I can take you to the mainland if you want.’

‘Can we?’ Lilyth said, addressing Ren.

‘I have no right to demand you do this,’ our new friend responded. ‘It doesn't feel right, but…’

She sighed and continued.

‘The more I think about this the less this whole thing makes sense… how did the assassins know I would be in that tavern?’

‘Who knew about you heading here?’ I asked.

‘I told my household I was headed to Ror-Bhyk. The only people who knew my real destination were well… me, Ulrech and Kaede…’

‘Could someone have overheard?’ Caei asked.

‘Possibly…’

‘How much in advance did you announce your trip?’ Lilyth asked gravely.

‘A day?’

‘A bit shitty timeline to set up an ambush…’ Sav said. ‘Unless this was a trap to begin with.’

‘You think we were lured here?’ Ren asked.

‘The only option that makes sense. The question is… by whom?’

‘The charlatan must be in on it…’ I said, realising the harsh truth.

‘And so probably is Kaede…’ Lilyth sighed. ‘Why else would there be this many assassins here the exact moment you were in that inn?’

‘Yeah… I was maybe there for an hour? And those men were already there…

‘The call is coming from the inside of the house,’ Lilyth muttered.

‘And we made enough ruckus to let everyone know we were here,’ Sav furrowed her brow. ‘Why lure you here though? Why go through such an elaborate ruse? Wouldn't it be simpler for Kaede and her friends to lure you somewhere… else? Sure we are in the middle of absolute backwater, but still Ror-Bhyk is what? Half a day away? Assassination this flashy would get attention quickly.’

‘Unless Ren wasn’t the primary target…’ I said, catching on to what Savri was saying. ‘But… what…’

‘The River Goddess,’ Lilyth interrupted me. ‘Two birds one stone. That or something related to her…’

She trailed off and turned towards Irmen and Nyx.

‘If there was another Y-Ram-like installation here you wouldn't be able to tell us, would you?’

‘No,’ Nyx shook her head sadly and then smirked. ‘Nor, can I confirm whether I am aware of any other potential sites’ existence or location.’

‘Ah,’ Lilyth smiled. ‘Irmen, hypothetically, had you thought your friend needed vacation, but there was a chance they needed to take care of something important, would you ask them to take a break?’

‘No, had I been aware of the task,’ Irmen smiled.

‘So I would suggest we go look for the River Goddess,’ Lilyth said. ‘Our marriage was already blessed by two deities. Might as well go for three.’

‘You sure about that?’ Nyx asked. ‘Plausible deniability bullshit aside, you do suspect this is a trap.’

‘Yes,’ Lilyth nodded sadly. ‘But given what we found inside Y-Ram…’

I shuddered, remembering the teeth horror.

‘Or Akh’ret's Mercy…’ Caei added sadly. ‘Those old sites are a problem. Having someone find them and use whatever was inside…’

‘Back into the field, then?’ I asked with a sinking feeling in my stomach.

Please no.

‘I cannot forbid you, but I would still strongly advise against it,’ Nyx shook her head. ‘You barely survived either of these places. Hell, you would have died in Akh’ret's Mercy if it wasn't for Zekuthran, and Lilyth doing a very stupid thing.’

‘I would have to concur here,’ Irmen said. ‘Let me put it this way… the chances the five of you will survive entering such a place are very low, and that's with two high-level individuals in your group. Chances a group of no-names will make it past the first room…’

She didn't need to finish.

‘Can’t they release something?’ Caei asked.

‘Unlikely. Remember why you couldn't leave the hospital?’

‘Ah. So whoever enters won’t be able to leave?’

‘If they trip the security system… no,’ Nyx said with a sour expression.

‘We’ll take you up on your offer, then, Irmen…’ I said to my patron.

I noticed a hint of the smile on the goddess’s face.

‘Everyone on board with that?’ she asked.

‘I want to find Kaede and shake the truth out of her,’ Ren sighed, angrily. ‘But… yes. Let’s get out of here. I’m not dumb enough to go deeper into a likely trap. Or a dungeon for that matter.’

None of my other companions offered any protests either.

‘Splendid,’ Irmen smiled and clapped her hands.

Some of the lake water rose into the air, shaped itself into a boat and then froze.

‘Might be a bit cold, but you’ll be on the other side in no time,’ the goddess explained and then called out, ‘ Phosi!’

A figure emerged from the water. It looked like a woman made out of a greenish liquid. She had clawed hands, an antenna with a lure and frilly ears, a telltale sign of her being associated with Irmen though her wet hair, glowing red eyes and somewhat unhealthy appearance made me think of a drowned corpse instead.

Phosi eyed us with curiosity and then focused on Lilyth. She leaned over her and smelled her with loud sniffs.

‘Curious,’ the creature rasped. ‘You have the smell of a man about you. Yet… you look like a woman. What are you?’

‘I am both,’ Lilyth explained. ‘And neither. And everything in between.’

‘Stop lying, mortal,’ Phosi hissed, hatred filling her voice.

‘Easy there!’ Irmen shouted. ‘They are friends!’

‘Phosi is a sconryoll,’ Nyx quickly explained. ‘A vengeful spirit born out of a woman who committed suicide after being seduced by a sailor.’

‘I apologise, Phosi,’ Lilyth said and bowed. ‘ I was unaware of this being a pain point for you. I was born a man, but it never felt right to me. So I turned into a woman when given a new body. But since I am a shapeshifter, what I am below depends on what my wives want.’

‘A tortured spirit,’ Phosi hissed. ‘Luckier than most. Still a man at heart, I think. But since Irmen and Nyx vouch for you… I will trust you, but note that I will be watching you. And if you hurt any of your wives or friends… you better steer clear of any large bodies of water, because I will find you and then end you, Lilyth.

‘If it comes to that… I will seek you out myself.’ Lilyth said.

‘It is a promise, then,’ Phosi smiled predatorily.

We said our goodbyes to Irmen and Nyx. While the former was content enough with hugs, the farewells with the latter did involve more kissing, which may or may not have been initiated by me this time around. Given the wicked smiles Lilyth and Caei gave me, they had the same idea. The big surprise was Savri giving her a peck on the mouth.

‘She is really good at getting what she wants, isn’t she?’ Savri remarked as we were crossing the lake.

‘I don’t think it’s possible for a woman to remain straight whenever Nyx gets involved,’ Phosi remarked. ‘Not that I saw you complain, Savri.’

‘I just wanted to see what it was like,’ she protested red-faced.

‘That’s how it always starts, sister,’ the sconryoll laughed.