Caeileera

I felt immense sadness upon seeing Rennie… no Ren Yamaoka lying in bed. I was starting to think coming to speak with her so soon was a mistake, but what else could I do? We were almost assassinated. By the Blood… the other me would likely die in that ambush along with Ren.

‘Leera,’ the elf smiled upon seeing me. ‘Or should I call you “Caei”?

‘Either will do, Ren,’ I responded, perhaps colder than I should have.

This will not be easy.

I walked up to her bed and sat on the chair beside it. I took Rennie’s hand in mine.

‘I’m so happy to see you safe,’ I said.

‘Likewise. I owe your friends a great debt.’

She paused.

‘You really aren’t my Leera, are you?’

I shook my head. I lifted my shirt and showed her my stomach.

‘I know she had a scar here.’

She caressed the place where it was on the other me’s body.

‘Yes. You know she got it defending me from some upstart? I nursed her back to health myself.’

The memories of these events flashed in my mind. The pain. The feeling that started to kindle then.

‘Now I do,’ I said.

‘When Lilyth told me I would get to see you, I imagined this moment differently. That there would still be my old Leera somewhere there. You sure look like her, but you are a stranger. You walk differently, talk differently, smell differently. By the gods, your wings are missing too.’

‘They are just hidden. I got… an improved version from Lady Madness after I lost mine.’

‘I can’t imagine how painful that was for you. Leera loved to fly.’

And to my shock, the great Ren Yamaoka started to weep.

‘I’m going to miss her so much,’ she sobbed.

I started crying too. I didn’t know why. Maybe I was mourning the Me-That-Could-Have-Been.

I heard the door open and Lilyth peeked in to check in on us, but I waved her away. She retreated with an apologetic gesture and closed the door.

‘You have good friends, you know,’ Rennie said after a while. ‘They really care about you.’

‘Yes, Rennie.’

She smiled at the pet name.

‘I think I want to be your friend too,’ she said. ‘And theirs.’

‘I’d like that too.’ I answered. ‘I don’t know if I will care about you the same way she did, but I know what she saw in you… and…’

‘I understand. I know my Leera is gone. Like I said, you are closer to being her twin sister. The same on the surface, but completely different on the inside.’

‘Not that different. The more of her life I see, the more I realise that had my life gone the same I would have made the same choices. Had I not met my friends… I might have ended up following a similar trajectory eventually. I forced myself on them out of desperation. They had every right to turn me away, and I almost ended up breaking Aki and Lilyth apart because I couldn't keep my hands to myself. The pipsqueak almost died because of it. I thank Akh'ret every day that they decided to keep me around.’

Rennie smiled.

‘Leera was like that too. Passionate, impulsive and with a “me-first” attitude. She managed to acquire quite a reputation in the Ror-Bhyk branch of the Clan before we started meeting in secret. Then she started changing. I am ashamed of the things I sometimes asked her to do. Both before and after… you know. You don’t do something like that to a person you love.’

‘She always forgave you,’ I said.

‘I know,’ Ren began weeping again. ‘I never deserved her and I don’t deserve you and your friends.’

‘And yet here we are,’ I said, gripping her hand tightly.

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‘Here you are,’ she agreed.

‘Why did you come here, anyway?’ I asked when she quieted down.

‘How much do you know about the reasons I sent you here?’

‘Just that I was to investigate some rumours.’

‘So… there are legends about an old River Goddess living on the Island in the middle of the lake. I never paid them much heed, as no one was able to find her. But then… stories started circling around that people saw her. So I wanted Leera to investigate them. Because… maybe the Goddess would marry us together. Then… maybe my family wouldn't object.’

My heart broke at that and more tears flowed to my eyes. Rennie’s too.

‘I even asked Kaede to come here… because… oh no. Kaede.’

The name triggered one of my memories. Kaede Yamaoka was Ren’s cousin. She never had much interest in the “family business”, and just travelled around.’

‘Could she be in danger?’ I asked.

‘Yes. If people tried to assassinate us, they could be after her too.’

I decided then. If it was fate’s will that I got entangled with Ren Yamaoka, so be it.

‘Lilyth!’ I shouted.

My girlfriend immediately rushed in, reaching for her sword. Sav followed close behind her.

‘It’s fine,’ I deescalated the situation. ‘Remember when you said that if need be we could involve ourselves with the Clan business?’

‘Yeees?’ she asked carefully.

I saw Aki enter the room now to check out the commotion.

‘Is that option still on the table?’

My friends look at each other and then at Aki. She gave a hearty nod.

‘What needs to be done?’ Lilyth asked.

‘I’m sorry to say that, Ren, but the Yamaoka Clan is likely in for a rough time,’ Savri sighed after Rennie finished explaining. ‘If someone felt confident enough to assassinate you, a potential “heir to the throne”, your… confidante and your cousin basically under the eye of your brother, that means… they feel confident to either take over or… well… deal with the issue, as your grandfather would not let this slide.

‘Yes,’ Rennie sighed heavily and gave Lilyth a strange look. ‘I am not fool enough to not realise that had… the switch not happened, I would be now very dead, and so would Leera and likely Kaede. After that, a war would start. Still will, I think.’

‘You could have survived,’ Aki, ever the optimist, pointed out.

‘Unlikely,’ Ren laughed bitterly. ‘There were at least seven of them. As you saw, we are less… resistant to crossbow bolts than your slimy foxgirl friend. And then we would be at the mercy of the Dread Queen, I now realise. I can't help but think she would not take my career choice well.’

‘She’s very nice,’ Lilyth protested.

‘Last I checked, you weren't in the leadership of a criminal organisation,’ Rennie laughed bitterly. ‘Knowing the Dread Queen actually exists really changes your perspective on things.’

Lilyth raises her eyebrow.

‘I thought people here were aware of the existence of gods.’

‘It’s not that simple. I can assure you that most mortals go through their lives with minimal, if any, contact with the divine. Being aware gods are there and knowing someone who actually met them are two different things. Even my Leera had never met the Blood That Devours.’

‘I didn't as well,’ I said. ‘It only spoke to the Crimson Vicars.’

‘Exactly,’ Rennie sighed. ‘So… I never had actual certainty. Especially, with all the Church stories about the Old Gods being superstitions going around. It was easier then just not to think about that stuff. Knowing that you actually stood at the entrance of the afterlife and spoke with the Dread Queen… you know… forces me to acknowledge I am probably not in for a good time after I die. Neither was my Leera. We did some… very bad things.’

The air in the room suddenly got very cold and Lilyth's eyes began to faintly glow with violet light.

‘Well…’ Lilyth sighed. ‘Now that you know that, it is not too late to change.’

‘What do you mean?’ she asked, all colour draining from her face.’

‘You were given a gift most mortals never get - a second chance at life. What you do with it is up to you, but note that you are at a crossroads. Right now, you are in a situation where you can freely choose to walk down two very different paths as stories of your assassination will spread, and many will think you are dead. Whether they will see you come back to life and, if so, under what circumstances… Now those are interesting questions, aren't they, Ren Yamaoka?’

The temperature in the room returned to normal. And Lilyth swayed on her legs. Aki caught her and led her to the chair.

‘Thank you,’ Lilyth whispered, looking more tired than I have ever seen her be.

What just happened?

‘That answers one question,’ she laughed bitterly.

‘What… what question…’ Rennie squeaked, looking absolutely terrified.

‘Back in the Tower thanks to solving… a problem… Ereshkigal named me her Paladin. I guess the boss lady just came by to tell me I still have the job. All it takes is all I got, eh?’

I had to admire Ren’s composure. Being told we were visited by the Goddess of Death was… quite something. Her doing so specifically to give her a warning… I would have probably immediately completely broken down if I were the intended recipient, which is why I was pleasantly surprised that Rennie lasted a whole thirty seconds before beginning to scream in terror and clawing at her face. We tried restraining her, but then Lilyth, with what was left of her strength, dragged herself from the chair and put her hand on Ren’s shoulder. A feeling of comfort filled the room, and I saw Lilyth’s eyes had a faint glow to them again, though weaker than before.

‘Don’t misunderstand my Lady, sister,’ she said. ‘She came down here to give you a warning, yes. But those are only given to those who yet can still change their ways. You are not beyond redemption. Not yet. It will take you a long time to atone for your misdeeds, but it can be done.’

Lilyth then collapsed back to the chair completely spent.

‘We can try to help you, 'Aki, who was mostly silent during this whole mess, said. ‘For better or worse it looks like you became part of Caei’s life. Together till the end.'

Savri nodded in agreement and said:

‘As I told Ren, In my past, I also did things I am… not proud of. So helping her might put my conscience at ease a bit.’

‘So there you have it, Ren,’ Lilyth said. ‘If you want you are welcome to join our little group of fools and lost souls.’

‘Thank you,’ Rennie said, smiling. ‘I hope in time I will prove myself worthy of being able to call you my friends.’

‘I hope so too,’ Aki smiled. ‘Now, let’s go save this Kaede of yours.’