Malika’s expression told me that not bringing the subject up with Savri in private was a mistake.

She sighed and said:

‘Yes, Aki… you can come too.’

‘Thankyouthankyouthankyouthankyou!’ Aki squealed again.

Damn. I haven't seen such youthful enthusiasm in her. Aki's staying here these past few days really benefited her.

Savri looked equally terrified and happy about a new family member. The Viscount went with them, and soon it was just me, Lilyth and Ren cuddling on the couch.

‘I just hope Aki doesn't get ideas after this,’ Lilyth muttered.

‘What do you mean?’ I asked.

‘Lilyth is worried Aki will want to have kids after this.’

‘I hope not,’ I laughed nervously.

Chirpy used that moment to jump on my lap and start purring to get attention.

‘I think he is saying that he is the only kid you will ever need,’ Ren laughed.

‘Well, fur babies are inherently superior,’ Lilyth added with a weak smile.

‘I admit I want children,’ I said after a moment of thought. ‘But… in the abstract… if that makes sense. Like the idea of having them is appealing, but actually taking responsibility for one…’

‘I get that, don't worry,’ Lilyth smiled. ‘Especially, since you can't. Personally, I never wanted children.’

‘I never considered the subject,’ Ren admitted. ‘And, since I have no interest in men, the discussion would be mostly theoretical.’

‘Maybe Lilyth could…’ I began but they both cut me off with a “NO”.

‘No offense Ren,’ Lilyth said. ‘It’s not that you aren't… I just find the idea of having sex with you just to impregnate you repulsive.’

‘None taken,’ Ren said with relief. ‘Right now, my eyes are only for Caei. But… I’d like to keep this option open for some day.’

‘I’ll have to think about it. Right now… the very idea of sex makes me shudder. So… might affect my judgement a bit.’

Oh right.

‘I wonder… if that is not too personal… can you actually?’

Lilyth thought about it for a moment, and then her expression went blank.

‘I asked Nyx. She says I can.’

Ren gasped in shock.

‘Then… you could have…’

‘Less could and more would, if I understand the mechanisms correctly,’ Lilyth said with a dead expression and in a monotone. ‘My body is… weird. A lot of its management happens on a subconscious level. Basically, if I maintain my full female form then… subconsciously I would create organs… necessary to make me female. More efficient too. If Savri didn't sterilise me, I wouldn't know I have to consciously stop certain things from occurring. Meaning you would likely have a niece or a nephew on the way, since… he was… the first.’

We both covered our mouths in horror with Ren. But Lilyth wasn’t done yet. Her voice now got really quiet too.

‘Though since Zalikh fucked up my ability to shapeshift… if you didn't rescue me… assuming the poison wouldn't kill me first… I could have easily become an incubator. Just existing to service Kojiro and bear him children. I doubt I would resist much either. The one lesson I got… it was enough.’

‘Oh, gods…’ Rennie whimpered.

‘So… you know…’ Lilyth said in a, likely fake, chipper tone.’ Thank you for saving me.’

One thing Leera would have avoided, I thought morosely.

After a minute or two of awkward silence, Lilyth picked up the conversation.

‘So… I’ve been thinking…’

‘I have regular nightmares which start with you saying that…’ I joked to lighten the mood.

The story has been stolen; if detected on Amazon, report the violation.

‘This one shouldn't be that bad, I think,’ Lilyth said with a faint glimmer of a smile. Since we are headed to Dan-Hem anyway, could we take a small detour and visit the cave the other me appeared in?’

Yeah. That's not that scary.

‘Sure,’ I answered. ‘Why, though?’

‘This could be a longshot, but I want to see if there is anything there that will help me restore my magic, or, at least, give me access back to the interface.’

‘It’s still gone?!’ I asked in disbelief.

‘Yup,’ Lilyth sighed. ‘I check every hour or so. Not even a flicker.’

‘What about your other magical abilities?’ I asked, now seriously concerned.

This isn't Lilyth wanting to go sightseeing. This is Lilyth asking for help.

‘I can summon my knives,’ she answered and one of them appeared in her extended hand to prove the point. ‘Haven’t really tested anything else.’

‘Not even transforming into Kitsune?’ I was confused. ‘I know you like that form.’

She grew gloomy.

‘I’m… I’m scared. After what happened to me in that tent… I am scared. I don’t want to feel that pain anymore.’

‘Why not try with me here?’ I suggested. ‘I can cast [Soothe Pain] if anything goes wrong.’

Lilyth stayed silent for a long time. Then she gave me a weak nod.

The [Soothe Pain] only seemed to have made what happened to Lilyth worse. So… panicked, I cast [Sleep] on her. Arcarius and Anika, alarmed by Lilyth's screams of pain, burst into the room. With their help, we lifted her from the floor and carried her to the bed. When my wife finally woke up an hour later, I immediately rushed over to her to apologise but she simply said:

‘It’s okay, Caei. I agreed to do it. It was a good idea.’

That didn't make me feel any less horrible. We decided not to mention anything to Aki. Anika and Arcarius agreed to keep our confidence. Ireela, locked in her room, missed the whole incident. When Aki came back an hour later she noticed that something was off, but dropped it after Lilyth explained her idea. I got seriously scared when Aki also suggested trying it, but Lilyth simply said she did and it didn't work. My relief was almost palpable. Aki then moved on to oohing and aahing over Zaiven. Savri was also in good spirits, but she lacked Aki’s… immense enthusiasm. When our happy gang was back together for supper we mentioned our travel plans to the rest, and only Ireela seemed mildly distressed by them, as Arcarius was planning to move into a house in the village soon to be closer to his future men, so she would be alone in the house with Savri and Anika. The demon said she would need to talk with her mom the next day because the two of them wanted to spend more time with each other. In the end, Malika agreed to stay with us until it was time for the official ceremony of making Ireela a baroness. As she put it “Some time in the countryside would be good for Zaiven too.” The Viscount took his wife’s decision in stride. Ireela, while initially nonplussed about the plan as she wished that Ren would stay with her, fell head over heels with the kid, so it was clear she would spoil him rotten.

My personal feelings about Savri’s half-brother were mixed. I never interacted much with children before this, or at all really, and now that I had a chance… I didn't quite understand why Aki was that excited about him. He was just a small human with orange eyes. I brought… my “neutrality” up with Lilyth in private and she said:

‘Makes sense, really, if you think about it. I don’t think you have “maternal instinct” or whatever. Don’t feel bad about it though. It’s a mechanism your species never needed.’

I was confused so Lilyth asked if we could bring Savri into the conversation, as she probably could explain it better.

I reluctantly agreed to that, it was her brother we were talking about after all, but Lilyth suggested I talk in abstract and use Aki as a comparison.

‘What’s up?’ the medic asked when Lilyth led her in, but then she got confused. ‘When Lilyth said she wanted to talk in private about a delicate matter, I assumed it was tied to her experiences. How are you involved, Caei? Worried about a weird rash down there or something?’

‘Uhhh… what?’ I asked, confused.

‘Like if you caught something nasty, I can treat it with no questions asked. You would need to direct your other sexual partners for the same treatment to me too, though.’

Seeing my thoroughly confused expression Lilyth broke out laughing.

‘It’s not about STDs, Sav,’ she finally said.

‘The what?!’

‘Sexually transmitted diseases,’ Sav sighed.

‘You can get sick through sex?’ I was horrified.

‘Oooooh-kay…’ Sav sighed. ‘Let’s discuss what you two wanted to discuss and then I will give you a check-up, just to be sure, and then the Talk.’

‘Soo… uh…’ I said. ‘I seem to lack Aki’s enthusiasm when seeing children. She acts like she has just seen the cutest thing ever, while I just see a small human. Lilyth said this is due to me not having “maternal instinct”, but well… wasn't sure how to explain it.’

‘Not all women react with her… enthusiasm,’ Savri admitted. ‘But, I think Lilyth is right. Due to your species being directly spawned by a god and without the capacity for reproduction… in simple terms - The Sanguine can't have children so you never had any reason to develop attachment to them.’

‘You mean I am… we are defective?’

‘No,’ the medic shook her head. ‘Just different. To use Lilyth as an example - she was born in a male body despite mentally… spiritually… being a woman. Doesn't make her defective. Plus her reaction to Zaiven can charitably be described as “indifference”.’

I didn't notice that.

‘I don't like children,’ my wife admitted. ‘Never did. Hope you don’t mind me saying that, Sav.’

‘At least you are honest about it. And, honestly, if Zaiven wasn’t my half-brother I would probably have the same “Yes, moving on” reaction as you did.’

Lilyth turned to me:

‘Also Caei do remember: just because you lack the natural “oooh baby” response doesn't mean you can't grow to love them. It’s just… a bit harder. You are closer to me in that regard than to Aki. And that's fine. Also…’

Lilyth told me about her struggles as a tortured spirit and how she tried to make the best of it. What it cost her.

‘So it doesn't matter what you were born with or without,’ she concluded. ‘What matters is what you do with it.

‘Thank you,’ I said and hugged her.