Barra da Tijuca, Rio de Janeiro

Thursday, 1:00 PM. Another day of intense focus and study was coming to an end. It should be another common day without many novelties, but we are talking about Enzo Carvalho and Vini Valverde, so there are always possibilities that something anomalous happens. New beginnings, new relationships, unexpected occurrences, supernatural events, surprise attacks of the most assorted kinds. You name it, it has happened - almost - all of it. But then, Vini brought some surprising news, which would shake the course of history and humanity.

- Belgium and I are taking a break.

- That's it? - Enzo looked incredulous. - Right in the first lines of the plot?

- Thanks for your concern.

- You're welcome. But... - Enzo wanted to know a little more about that news. - What happened?

- Huh... Nothing.

- Come on, give.

- Give what? There's nothing to give. We thought it best to take a break from our relationship.

- Oh, no. That means we are going to have that unbearable "we were on a break" routine that's been going on for more than two decades, isn't it?

- What? No! Why?

- But how was this break set? Is it really break or Rachel break?

- What is Rachel break?

- You know, Vini.

- No, I don't really know. Spit it out, schmuck!

- You'll be able to date other people.

The question Vini didn't want to answer, but subconsciously knew that Enzo would at some moment.

- I can't do that, Enzo! It's immoral.

- But if she took a break...

- We took a break. Jointly. - Vini corrected him.

- So be it. Then, what are you going to do during this break? Will we be able to go to the mall and meet girls like we always did before Belgium came along?

- No, Enzo. We won't.

- And what is your game plan? Are you just going to take a break and stay apart without seeing other people and then magically resume the relationship?

- Not magically, Enzo! There is no magic in it.

- Then why the fucking break?

- Because we didn't want to break up, but we also didn't want to continue the way we were.

Oh, that was awesome. Enzo didn't want to hear that anymore. So, for the sake of their friendship, he simply decided to leave him alone in the classroom. And Vini, of course, understood the reasons. Still, it could be worse.

Seconds later, Enzo had a chat with Belgium. It wasn't planned, but he needed to hear the second part of the story. In his mind, there were only two possibilities. One, Belgium would have a completely opposite version to the one described by Vini moments before. Or the second. Belgium would agree with the whole thing. And, for Enzo, both options would be bad. However, to confirm that theory, Enzo would need to meet with Belgium. And that's what he did. Before Mr. Banks, her father, showed up with his white Volvo in the school parking lot, Enzo ran into her outside.

- What's all this relationship time bullshit? - Enzo asked. - Haven't you learned anything from Ross and Rachel?

- Stop being nosy, Enzo! - Belgium complained.

- I'm not prying. It's just that if you two broke up, I could take him to the bar at the mall and he could forget all about you.

Belgium started to laugh ironically.

- He wouldn't do that.

- Wouldn't he? - Enzo approached her dramatically, just to prove the point. - He wouldn't really?

- No, Enzo. For one thing, he's not... - She began to think of a word. - You! Second, I love Vini, we've been together for a long time, I just want to take some time off so that we can get to know each other better and improve as people.

- What a bunch of crap! - Enzo complained.

- Oh, cut the drama, Enzo! You sound like a toddler.

- You know what? I don't care what you think! You know what I'm going to do?

- I'm dying to know.

- I'm going to take Vini to the Downtown Mall tomorrow. We'll go to some restaurant Friday night and he'll meet a bunch of cute chicks!

- Good luck! - Belgium smiled.

- And the great thing is that you won't be there.

But then, the next day, the situation started to turn the tables. And all because of Vini yet again, and his inability to enjoy himself at the expense of others without hurting anyone's feelings.

- Why aren't you going? - asked a frustrated Enzo.

- Enzo, you only want to go for a single reason. - Vini brought up an important point.

- Well, yes. So what? And in addition, there will be music, nice people, a nice environment. Stop being a drag!

- I don't know. It doesn't feel good.

Although he didn't say it in words, Vini's lack of enthusiasm was beginning to annoy Enzo profoundly. Considering that Vini wouldn't listen, Enzo had to play dirty. And as soon as he saw Vini's aunt leaving for work, he grasped whatever chance he would have to convince him.

- Your stupid nephew doesn't want to go to the mall with me tonight.

- Why not, Vini? - Vini's aunt asked. - Friday is the best day.

- Because Enzo only wants to go there to chase girls.

- But you don't have to do exactly what Enzo does. And you can go with Belgium to accompany yourself.

- Not exactly. They are taking a break.

- Really?

- Yeah, it's annoying me too. - Enzo confirmed.

- But taking a break like Ross and Rachel?

- Why do you guys keep using Friends as a benchmark for taking a break?

Enzo stared at Vini's aunt. And asked:

- Do I need to explain?

- Vini, honey, go with Enzo. It'll be fun and you'll have a great time together.

- You don't know that. - Vini still looked grumpy.

Despite Vini's silent protests, he agreed to go, even if against his will, to the Downtown Mall, well-known in the neighborhood for having a different proposal from the other shopping centers. The open air area gives visitors a feeling of a small town in a metropolis, but at the same time its different proposal on rainy days is still a big problem.

But that Friday there was no bad weather to spoil what had everything to be a very pleasant evening. Enzo took Vini to one of the many restaurants in the mall, which had become open-air nightclubs with live music and beautiful people. But let's be honest. Enzo had a very clear purpose. He was going after girls, and there were certainly plenty of them. The only problem was... Well, his partner in crime.

- Look at that. - Enzo said, admiring the surrounding landscape.

- What are we looking at, Enzo? - Vini was confused.

- Vini, look around! We have a lot of potential. Just pick and play the ball.

- Does she agree with that?

- Forget about Belgium, Vini! I don't want to hear that name and neither does Congo! It's just the two of us. Just like always. You and me against the world, remember?

The classic phrase of Vini and Enzo's friendship.

- Okay, have you chosen? - Enzo asked.

- Oh, I was supposed to choose? - Vini was cynical.

- Vini, if you don't do anything, I swear I'll hit you with that beer bottle!

- All right, all right, all right.

Vini's physical integrity was in jeopardy, so he had to do a brief reconnaissance of the grounds. The restaurant was quite nice, but very dark, the colored floor lamps illuminated very little, and perhaps that was in fact the purpose. In the center was a square counter at the bar, where a man in an apron and a blue beret was cleaning the glass cups on the table. Vini took the opportunity to sit down next to the clerk, while Enzo went to the bathroom, apparently. During this half-time period, a pretty girl also sat down next to Vini, raised her finger and politely asked for a bottle of Coca-Cola. She didn't seem to be accompanied, maybe waiting for someone. Who knows. But Vini didn't want to wait long. He simply turned to her and asked:

- Is a hot dog a sandwich to you?

- What? - she asked, confused.

A while later, Enzo returned from wherever he was. He sat down next to Vini, who was not pleased, but surprisingly this time Enzo was not the reason for his momentary unhappiness.

- Enzo, i suck. - Vini announced.

- All right, Vini, darling, a real man recognizes his weaknesses and his imperfections.

- Do you do that?

- Me? No! Are you crazy?

Classic Enzo.

- But why would you think that?

- I tried to talk to a girl who was right there where you are now.

- And?

- It all went south. I don't know how to start a conversation with a girl.

- It takes a lot of tact and talent, my friend.

- So, what is your opening topic? Cars?

- Nope.

- Formula 1?

- Try again.

- Football?

- Is that all you've got? Holy shit, Vini!

- What? I don't even know how I got Belgium, Enzo! I don't even know how I got Belgium, Enzo!

- I kind of do.

Enzo smiled wryly, which displeased Vini, because he knew what Enzo meant.

- Very funny. But you didn't answer my question.

- You scouted the terrain, right?

- I did.

- And what did you find?

- I found a beautiful redhead who...

- Whoa, whoa, whoa. - Enzo interrupted him. - You've been playing on the singles team for one day and already you want to sit in the window?

- What do you mean?

- Vini, a redhead? It's like going to Everest on your first climb! Or flying a Boeing 787 on your first contact with an aircraft!

- So, what do you suggest?

Enzo turned toward the restaurant again. Once again he visualized the atmosphere, and especially the people. Blondes, brunettes, younger, older... The list was extensive. Enzo didn't do an official count, but there must have been at least 150 people, and most of them were female. So why was Vini so concerned?

- That one. - Enzo pointed forward.

- Enzo, you know this is not a buffet, right?

- Well, I'm about to do the same in both instances. - Enzo smiled.

- You are such an idiot.

But after saying it, Vini had to ask, despite his annoyance:

- Who did you really pick?

- That one over there. - Enzo reaffirmed. - The blonde.

- Enzo, there are like twenty blondes in that quadrant.

- The Lord knows stuff, huh?

Vini was not going to fall for Enzo's bait.

- Once again, I ask: who do you want to show me?

- The tall blonde. All-Star shoes, jeans shorts. Long legs.

Finally Vini found her with his eyes. It took a while because of the reasons listed in the previous long paragraph.

- Wow, she is really tall. - Vini replied, impressed. - I must be about ten centimeters shorter than her.

- Great! Then when it comes time to dance you won't have to put your head down at any time.

- Get your mind out of the gutter, Enzo.

- There you go. My work is done. Now go out there and get the 10. If you fail, sleep with the teacher. Own experience.

- I could sleep without that one, Enzo.

- Good, good. Now go on, tiger. Good luck.

- Wait, wait, wait. - Vini had to ask again. - What do I say? An opening line...

- I don't know, visualize the girl, if she's wearing something different, compliment her.

- Even if it's not true?

- Who cares, Vini! You will forget about it anyway!

Despite Enzo's constant complaints, Vini felt confident to achieve his goals. And as Vini approached the girl, a thought began to haunt Enzo's mind.

- That kid is so screwed.

Vini took Enzo's advice; he approached the girl in a friendly, non-committal way and tried to make conversation in a natural way. Fortunately, the tide seemed to be in his favor, because a very famous song started playing on the restaurant's loudspeaker. Before he could say anything, Vini immediately noticed that the girl was swaying her body, a slight indication that she was enjoying the moment. What should he do? Interrupt her and risk ruining the evening, or take a chance? Well...

- Do you like the Bee Gees? - Vini asked in a friendly way.

- I do. - She answered. - I love this song.

- How Deep is Your Love is one of the best songs ever.

- My mother loves this song.

Vini smiled and held out his hand.

- I'm Vini.

- Amanda.

The two shook hands. And the conversation continued.

Alone at the counter, Enzo enjoyed his iced Matte. Without Vini, he could play his game without needing a wingman - technically, it was Enzo who had assumed that role minutes earlier. While thinking about his options for that night, he began to notice the television pictures and a news item caught his attention.

- The new coach of the Brazilian soccer team will be Fernando Diniz. - said the newscaster.

- Fuck me! - Enzo shouted.

And then, to make things worse, two well-known characters entered the front door of the restaurant. Enzo had no other reaction than...

- You have got to be shitting me.

That was too much. An outrage. It was like a horror movie without the weird villains and the dumb pothead characters. He stood up and followed the couple to understand what was going on.

- Belgium? - Enzo asked, surprised and frustrated.

- Enzo? - She returned the question.

- What the hell are you doing here?

- Probably the same as you!

- Oh, I doubt it.

But it didn't end there.

- Why are you with Pacifier? Did you lose a wager?

Hugo " Pacifier" Santos. The nemesis of Enzo and Vini and practically the whole school. People respected him just for the simple fact that his dad was acknowledged as one of the leaders of the city's crime ring. Pacifier is not very intelligent, interesting, charismatic, or much less handsome, but he is annoyingly lucky to be a millionaire without having to do anything useful. With plenty of time to spare, he simply spends it hassling others and being obnoxious. His relationship with Vini has always been respectful and cordial, although Pacifier finds him goofy, but the story is different with Enzo. If Pacifier was lucky in the bank account, Enzo's luck is in all the other things that Pacifier fails, which bothers him.

- No, I invited her, you fool. - Pacifier replied.

Enzo couldn't process this information.

- What?

- Pacifier asked me out and I accepted. - Belgium clarified.

- Why?

- What do you mean "why"? I can't go out with Pacifier?

- Of course you can, but I wanted you to know that it's a motherfucking downgrade!

- Enzo, don't be impolite. - Belgium complained.

- Is Vini here? - Pacifier asked.

Uh-oh. What would Enzo say?

- Ehh, I have no clue.

- Enzo, why do you lie?

- I don't know, I found myself in an uncomfortable situation and found the easiest way to save my ass.

- Enzo, is Vini here? - Belgium repeated the question.

- Oh, you know what? Screw it! It's not my mess!

That answer was enough for Belgium.

After that embarrassing and rather disturbing experience, Enzo rushed around the entire restaurant looking for Vini. Unfortunately, the lack of lighting did not help at all and Vini did not answer his cell phone. Finally, after a while, Enzo found him again.

- Vini, we need to move. - Enzo interrupted the conversation between him and Amanda.

- Enzo! - Vini was startled by his friend's sudden appearance. - Where did you come from? Anyway, this is Amanda.

- Hi, Amanda, how are you? - Enzo feigned interest. - Vini, we must go!

- Why's that? - Vini couldn't understand.

- Why do you keep asking questions? It's so irritating!

- Why do you want to leave out of the blue? Have you annoyed someone? Maybe a husband or a jealous boyfriend? Did an ex-girlfriend show up?

Technically... Yes.

- Vini, I'm not M to explain a mission to you. Let's go!

But there was no other way. When it's meant to be, it happens. Well, Pacifier soon spotted Vini and approached them both, which made Enzo concerned.

- Vini! - shouted Pacifier.

- Oh shit. - Enzo lamented. - It only gets worse.

- Pacifier? - Vini was surprised again. - What are you doing here?

- The same as you.

- Save your words, Vini, I've used them before. - Enzo grinned.

- There are a lot of pretty girls here. - Pacifiers commented.

- Did you bring anyone? - Vini innocently asked.

- I'm glad you asked. - Pacifier smiled with debauchery.

- Oh, no. - Enzo, again, lamented.

- I came with Belgium. - And Pacifier finished the announcement.

- Which Belgium? - Vini was confused.

- What other Belgium would it be, you nitwit? - Enzo asked the obvious question.

- Did you invite Belgium, my ex?

- Come on, Vini, make it cool.

Needless to say, Vini did not take it kindly.

- You broke the masculine code, Pacifier! - Vini pointed out.

- It's not my fault she's easy. - Pacifier defended himself, which angered Vini.

- Hey, hey, hey, hey! - Enzo stopped Vini from doing something stupid that he would perhaps regret. - Not here. Aren't you forgetting Amanda?

Incredibly, yes.

- Oh, yeah. - Vini remembered. - What do I do?

- What would you do if Pacifier hadn't shown up and sucked all the happiness out of the room like he always does?

- Hello, guys. - Belgium finally showed up.

Holy cow. Belgium looked stunning, like batgirl - from the comics, not the ridiculous Warner's movie - with her dark, tight-fitting clothes, pinned up hair, and smokey eyes that brought out the blue color and the look.

- Wow. - said Vini. - You look good.

- I'm good, Vini, I'm very good. - Enzo replied to annoy him and a Top Gun reference.

- I wasn't talking about you, moron! I meant Belgium.

- Thanks, Vini. - Belgium replied, a little embarrassed by the situation. - You look good too.

- So, what are we going to do? - Enzo clapped and rubbed his hands together. - I'll ask the DJ to rock this place. I mean. Michael Bolton? The dude's good, but he's making me miserable as hell!

Great. Music. All good, right? In theory, at least until We've Got Tonight echoed through the speaker. The couples piled into the center of the restaurant for the slow dance. Pacifier wanted to piss off Vini at all costs, so he took Belgium's hand and asked:

- Would you like a dance?

Enzo almost had an aneurysm, while in fact he did have one.

- Sure. Why not? - Belgium said.

What could Vini do? Well, ask Amanda the same:

- Would you like to dance, Amanda?

- I thought you weren't going to ask me. - She answered.

Following the logic of their friendship, Vini left Enzo by himself and followed Amanda to the dance floor. In theory, it wouldn't take long for Enzo to find someone to dance with and enjoy the disaster that the night had provided so far, but at least it must be said that not everyone went out losing.

- Oh, Vini, you're so cool. - said Amanda in the middle of the dance.

- You're pretty cool too. - Vini gave a genetic response.

- Now, I just have one question.

- Yes?

- Who's Belgium?

The tiny, imperceptible hairs on Vini's arm stood up like a football player when he was fouled with his team losing the game in injury time.

- Where did you get that name? - Vini tried to wind her up a bit.

- I heard your friend Enzo talking about her.

- Enzo! - Vini muttered.

- Just to clarify, Belgium is a person, isn't it?

It never gets old.

- Yes, she is, and she has four other sisters named after European countries. Can you believe it?

- Honestly, no. If you were the joking type, I would swear that you were just making fun of me.

- Why bother? - Vini asked a rather stupid question.

Surprisingly, the night went on normally, despite the initial setbacks. As bizarre as it was, the new couples, Vini/Amanda and Pacifier/Belgica, behaved very well. And by all appearances, everything was going to end well. But then... The next day happened...

- How could she do this? - asked Vini, standing up and making a heated speech. - You mean, go out with Pacifier? What's in her fucking mind?

- It's one of the mysteries of life. - Enzo said, lying down on the sofa.

- I mean, I can understand going out with someone nice and interesting, but Pacifier? He doesn't fit any of these requirements!

- What can you do, right?

- Now I am mad at her!

- Anger is a terrible cardinal sin, Vini.

- You don't give a damn about what I'm saying, do you?

- Not really.

- Thanks, I appreciate it.

- So what, Vini? Yeah, yeah, Pacifier is an idiot and Belgium is also an idiot, but with terrible taste in men...

- But you and she didn't too...

- And the exception that confirms the rule, Vini. - Enzo soon interrupted him. - Anyway, the fact is that you are also an idiot.

- Why are you telling me this?

- Honestly? I just forgot. - Enzo shrugged. - I guess I just wanted an excuse to gratuitously offend you. But you understand, don't you?

- Shut up, Enzo.

Still, it could be worse.

And of course it got worse, because as soon as Vini's temper tantrum was finished, his cell phone started shaking like an old VW Beetle engine. Enzo took the mobile phone from the glass coffee table, but before handing it to its owner, of course he had to check the caller.

- It's Amanda, Vini.

- Thanks, Enzo. I could have seen it myself! - Vini was not happy with his snooty friend.

Why bother with silly things? After all, Vini needed to focus his efforts on more important issues, Amanda being one of them. Perhaps the main one at the moment. Despite everything, Vini enjoyed her company, even though he didn't know her very well. But still, he needed to sort out the entanglement with Belgium.

- Hi, darling! - said Vini. - How are you?

- Fine - she said. - Are we going out tonight?

Uh-oh.

- Are we?

- Yes. You suggested the idea.

You suggested the idea?

- I did?

- Yes!

- What did I say exactly?

- Let me see... - It took Amanda a few seconds to respond. - Hey, what do you think about doing something different tomorrow? But without so many people and that stupid Enzo to irritate me.

The funny thing is that this was something Vini would surely say, but still...

- I don't remember saying that myself! - Vini was sincere.

- Do you want to reschedule? If you have other appointments....

- Oh, no, no, no. You don't have to. I'll be... Wherever I said I'd be tonight.

- All right then. I'll see you then.

- Sure, sure.

As soon as he hung up the phone, Vini's worries came flooding home.

- Enzo, I'm in trouble.

- Holy shit, what's the problem now? - Enzo was already tired of hearing it.

- I'm going out with Amanda.

- Oh, no! What a horrible thing to happen!

- I don't need your sarcasm, Enzo. I need to talk to Belgium.

- Your ex?

- Don't use that word, Enzo! We're not done.

And after a few seconds, Enzo felt obliged to make a dangerous remark:

- You know, Vini, if you and I were those women with colored hair, 200 kilos and nine cats, I could tell that you are in an open relationship with Belgium.

- Enzo, if you ever say anything like that to me again I swear I'll throw you off the 10th floor! And I'll hide your body.

- Vini, I can only tell you what I see.

- Shove this open relationship shit right up your ass! I'm not in an open relationship!

So much noise made Vini's aunt come out of her room to see what the discussion was all about.

- Kids, what's all the yelling for? - she asked.

- Nothing, Auntie, it's just that Enzo is annoying me. - Vini justified, but did not say exactly why.

- Vini is going out with a girl tonight.

And with that bombshell, a question needed to be asked:

- But what about Belgium?

- That is the problem.

And to complete the horror show, Vini's aunt asked again:

- Are you in an open relationship, honey?

- Holy crap, I'm not! - Vini got angry again. - Stop saying that!

To avoid a cardiac arrest, Vini left the apartment and walked on foot to Belgium's house. At first he had no idea what to say, not even the infinite possibilities of what could happen if that plan failed.

As usual, the doormen allowed Vini to pass; he was familiar to them as he was a frequent visitor to the Banks family condominium in Barra da Tijuca, in an even more prestigious location than Lake. And that is saying something.

Vini knocked three times on the door. In fact, Russia welcomed him, wearing short pink pajamas and white slippers on both feet. As soon as she opened the door, she looked quite surprised by the unexpected visit, not that Belgium had a habit of letting them know when Vini was coming to her house.

- Vini? What a funny surprise. - she said.

- Yeah, I apologize for not telling anyone. - Vini said. - Is Belgium there?

- Actually, I think she's looking for you too.

Huh.

- Really? - Vini got interested. - She didn't tell me anything.

- You know how she is. Proud and very stubborn.

- But do you have any idea why?

- Kind off. We are going to spend a weekend at a resort in the mountains. My father asked if you were going, but she said no.

- Oh.

This saddened Vini's heart a little.

- But my father insisted. Of course he didn't know about... Yesterday.

- Something tells me you know about yesterday.

- Sort of. Belgium told me vaguely, but I didn't ask questions. It's not my business.

- I see.

- But I would like you to join us. It's a beautiful hotel, there's plenty to do.

- I don't know. Belgium didn't ask me to go. Maybe it's better this way.

- Well, just know that if you say no, my father will persuade you. And you know how he is. Would you rather be called by your father-in-law or by Attorney Mr. Banks?

- Oh.

- Unfortunately, so will Pacifier. Can you believe it? What does that retarded Belgium have in her skull? Is she mental?

- Actually... - Vini was about to start answering.

- Don't say it! - Russia warned. - It was a rhetorical question.

But then, Vini soon recalled a small issue.

- I had plans to see Amanda this weekend.

And Russia proposed something theoretically simple.

- Take her as well. I'm sure my father will understand.

The next day, nearly the entire family gathered in front of the family's condo. Mr. Banks was demoted to a baggage carrier and had to pack all his lazy daughters' suitcases and put them in the trunk of his Volvo. Moments later, Vini, Amanda and Enzo showed up, at precisely 7:15 in the morning. At first, Vini was afraid to talk to Belgium with Amanda, but in the end, everything settled down. The two were civil, despite a certain initial embarrassment. But speaking of embarrassment...

- I'll go first! - shouted Pacifier with his Louis Vuitton in hand.

- Oh, this is going to suck! - Enzo immediately regretted as much.

But despite Enzo's whining, the trip went very smoothly. A little traffic jam on the interstates because of the trucks and bad weekend drivers. But what is a trip without these hiccups? The truth is that Vini slept the entire trip, only waking up when Enzo poked him repeatedly to say something irrelevant:

- I am sexually attracted to that Toyota Supra.

Everyone in the car looked at Enzo strangely, except Vini, who was already used to this kind of statement.

- Without context this sentence is very strange. - Enzo tried to explain himself.

With context too!

- What? - Amanda was confused by this comment.

- Ignore Enzo. - Vini recommended, still sleepy. - He's an idiot.

Mr. Banks parked the Volvo side by side with the other vehicles. Immediately, a hotel employee greeted the girls' father and asked him to open the trunk of the vehicle. Of course, he had no help from anyone else in the vehicle, as Mr. Banks' daughters, Enzo, Vini, Pacifier and Amanda soon abandoned him in the middle of the parking lot and made their way as a group to the hotel lobby.

- Hey, are you going to abandon me here? - asked a distraught Mr. Banks.

The teenagers were soon enchanted by the hotel lobby, with its very, very high ceilings, decoration reminiscent of Indian castles, full of bright colors, marble floors and white curtains on the windows. A man in a suit next to the door stared at them non-stop, until finally Mr. Banks appeared to put an end to the embarrassment.

- Your children? - the man asked.

- Not exactly. - Mr. Banks answered. - Just the girls.

- Oh.

After a while, Mr. Banks checked in and soon grabbed the keys. Italy took the keys from her father and ran to the stairs. The problem was that from the outside, the four apartment buildings were, in fact, very large and identical. To make the situation worse, when Italy took the keys from her father, she forgot to ask him the way to his room.

- Italy, you idiot! - complained Belgium. - We don't know how to get there.

Vini took Italy's keys.

- Room 100.

- How hard can it be? - Enzo asked a dangerous question.

And as it turned out, quite hard, because the group had a lot of trouble finding room 100, out of the 533 available in the hotel. Vini had the idea to follow the example of the Scooby Doo gang, separate and search for clues. And more problems came with this.

- Okay, right, right, left, move on. - Enzo said, as he read the room layout map.

Enzo followed exactly the steps, right, right, left and go straight ahead. Easy, wasn't it? Unfortunately, when Enzo finished the round...

- What? What the hell? I went back to the beginning?

Fortunately for him, Enzo was not the only one in trouble. Because Vini and Amanda also didn't know where to turn and which way to go.

- Vini, right, left and right. That's what the map says. - she said.

- Yes, I know, but we made that way! - said Vini. - We ended up somewhere on the other side! How is this possible?

- This place is a maze. All the walls and the hallways are the same.

- Here's what we're going to do. - Vini started to plan a strategy. - I have an empty bottle of water in my backpack. I'll leave it here on the floor. Let's repeat the route. If the bottle is no longer here, then something really crazy had happened.

It seemed like a good plan. So Vini left the bottle on the floor and went the same way with Amanda. Right, left, right. But as soon as he turned right, guess what? The bottle was gone. And to make matters worse.

- Belgium? - Vini was confused.

- Vini? - Belgium shared the same sentiment.

- Oh, how wonderful. - Amanda complained.

- What are you guys doing here?

- Trying to find Room 100. - Belgium replied. - Same as you.

- Where are your sisters? And that idiot Enzo? And Pacifier?

- All right, we're lost. - Amanda concluded. - The maps are worthless. Or the strategy of staying separated was not a good one.

- I found it! - Vini shouted.

- The room? - Belgium asked.

- No! The bottle.

- What bottle?

- Nevermind.

After twenty minutes in what looked like the wardrobe of the Chronicles of Narnia, Mr. Banks reappeared, like the Phoenix from the ashes, only this bird was wearing his backpack and a doubtful expression on his face.

- Hey, kids? What happened?

- We're looking for the damn room! - Vini replied. - We are completely lost.

- But... - Mr. Banks pointed to one of the many orange doors in the corridor. - The room is right there.

Everyone looked puzzled at the door. In fact, the door had a "100" written right on the handle, but it didn't make any sense. The whole scene made no sense.

- I give up. - Italy said.

- Hey guys, what did I miss? - Pacifier asked.

The bags were already in the room. Each one chose their own bed, Vini got the one closer to Amanda, while Belgium chose to stay closer to her sister Italy. Enzo was forced to take the bed next to Pacifier, Albania and Russia, in other words, a hell on earth.

- So, what are we going to do today? - asked Mr. Banks.

- Well, I will go to the pool. - Albania said. - There must be a lot of nice people there.

- We know you don't just want to meet people, Albania. - Russia gave her sister a gentle nudge.

- Yeah, no, I don't need to hear this. - said Mr. Banks. - You know what? You decide. I drove here and I need a beverage.

- You heard the man! - said Enzo. - Cigars, booze and boobies. I'm in!

- No, no, no, no, Enzo! I understand that you drink and smoke at Vini's house and with us, but in a public place, no way!

- So, what am I supposed to do?

- Find something to do, Enzo. - said Belgium. - Maybe flirt with the hotel receptionist.

- Very funny. - Enzo smiled wryly. But then he asked: - Is she cute?

Around lunch time, the new Banks family with new additions joined the breakfast room for lunch. Well, almost everyone, since Enzo had to do something dumb and get lost in the middle of the way. And as soon as he showed up, he had the unfortunate news that the room was completely packed.

- I'm sorry, sir, but the tables are full. - said the salon manager.

- But I'm with them. - Enzo pointed to the table farthest from the door.

- Hey, excuse me. - said a man as he intruded on the conversation. - He's with me.

Enzo didn't understand a thing.

- Really? - The manager asked.

The man nudged Enzo, who quickly made a positive sign with his fingers. Then he answered:

- Yes, yes. He is my dad.

- Oh, then you may enter. Bon appetit.

- You too.

And after that scene, Enzo couldn't say anything but...

- Thank you. You saved the day.

- You're welcome. I'm Thomas Scott.

- Hi. Enzo.

- Do you wanna have lunch with us? - Thomas asked.

- Are you alone?

- No, no. I'm with my wife and kids.

Huh, lunch and company. That man was a good catch, a good Samaritan.

- Sure. I'd love to.

At the Banks table, the situation didn't seem very friendly, as Enzo and his absence were the topic of the afternoon.

- Enzo is such an idiot. - said Russia.

- Oh, come on, Russia! - Vini tried to defend him. - You're the ones who didn't want to wait for him.

- Why do you always defend him? He's an idiot!

- I'm not exactly denying that.

- Guys, no fighting. - said Mr. Banks. - Let's call the waiter and order.

- It's self-service. - Italy had to say.

That settles it.

- Oh. Oh, shit. - He was forced to get up.

At the other table, the mood was quite different as the Scott family welcomed Enzo with open arms.

- This is my wife, Claire. - Thomas said. - These are my children, Sam and Olivia.

The first detail that Enzo promptly noticed. Olivia must have been about his age, while Sam was a few years younger. The girl was very similar to her mother in every way. Beauty, style of clothes and accessories, hair. Of course, the idiot Enzo soon became interested. The problem would be to get around Thomas and try something.

- So, Enzo, where do you come from? - Claire asked.

- I'm from the capital. - Enzo replied. - You know, down there. And you?

- Minas Gerais.

- Oh, I noticed a slight accent. There's no way to hide it. - Enzo let out a sympathetic smile.

Claire and Olivia laughed at Enzo's unpretentious comment, while Sam remained quiet at the table. Initially, Enzo found the boy's behavior suspicious, but he couldn't think of anything negative. At least until that moment.

- Hey, Dad is going to the golf course at five o'clock. You should come along. - Olivia made a formal invitation.

- It's not "track" dear. It's "course". - Thomas corrected her.

Golf? Enzo? You've got to be...

- Golf? Of course! I love to play! - He said.

Oh, no.

- Oh, awesome! See you there!

But as the conversation flowed, Enzo couldn't help but notice the suspicious looks from Olivia's brother. Those huge blue eyes didn't hide their distrust in the possible new brother-in-law. In his view, Enzo had a lot to hide. And, let's be honest, Enzo did.

- I don't like you. - said Sam, still staring at him.

- Come again? - Enzo thought he had heard wrong.

- I don't like you. - The boy repeated his line.

- Eh... Ok? - Enzo was baffled by his audacity.

- So, Enzo... - Olivia tried to restore the friendly atmosphere. - When can we meet? I'm in Room 250.

- I'll drop by. It's not hard to find the rooms in this hotel anyway!

Oh, no, Enzo wondered. If finding the Room 100 was already a struggle, imagine the search for Room 250. But it could be worse, it could be 1408. John Cusack can tell you that. Fortunately Mr. Banks did not book a room at the Dolphin Hotel.

After lunch, Enzo returned to his room. Or at least that was the plan. Because once again he found himself lost in the orange corridors of the hotel. Up the stairs, then right, right, left. But it always led to the same result. Or rather, incredibly, different results following the same path.

- Holy crap! No way!

Seconds later, Enzo found a young couple who also seemed lost. You can't hide it. If you are looking around with a doubtful expression in an unknown environment... You are missing. And Enzo really wanted some friendly help.

- Do you need help? - he asked.

- Yes - the man answered. - We can't find our room.

- Don't be mad at yourself. It took me half an hour when I arrived earlier.

- Half an hour? Fuck me!

- Nah, every cloud has a silver lining. In the end we always have a story to tell.

The young couple and Enzo decided to repeat the route. Except this time, Enzo took a right turn, whereas they went left. There was no way Enzo could lose their sight, because the corridor had a suspension bridge that made it possible to see the other side. At least that's what Enzo thought. As soon as he made the turn, something unbelievable happened.

- What? How did this happen?

Right in front of him Enzo found a door with three blank digits: 250.

- What? What is this cursed place? I feel like I'm in The Cabin in the Woods!

So, Enzo went the opposite direction, hoping to find the young couple again. And guess what? He found it, but not exactly what he was looking for at that moment.

- Room 100? - Enzo said, completely stunned. - What in the world?

Must I mention that Enzo never saw that young couple again.

And a while later, Vini appeared, but didn't seem very pleased to see him again.

- Enzo, you stupid idiot! Where were you this whole time? - asked a frustrated Vini.

- Well, I have to remind you that you guys abandoned me.

- Oh, don't blame me, blame Belgium.

- Sure. - Enzo smiled wryly. - And I met a girl.

- Wow, I totally didn't see that one coming. - Vini pretended to be surprised.

- Yeah, yeah, yeah. But, Vini, you don't understand. Her family is amazing.

- How amazing?

- Incredible, Vini! Her father is very interesting, cheerful and lively. So is her mother.

- Is she pretty?

- Vini, what a question!

- But...?

- Oh, you don't know a thing! She's as beautiful as her daughter! Damn you!

- Where do you find these people?

The tale has been illicitly lifted; should you spot it on Amazon, report the violation.

- Oh, but I remembered. Not everything is blossom. Her little brother doesn't like me.

- It is no surprise to me. You steal his father's attention, you want to date his sister, and you're making comments... Let's put it this way, very nice comments about his mother. I'm amazed he didn't throw a knife in the middle of your forehead.

- It's not that big a deal, Vini. You're exaggerating.

Not exactly, but let Enzo buy it.

- What do you intend to do with this girl? - Vini asked an important question. And a dangerous one.

- What I always do. I want to have a nice time with her and maybe roll the dice. By the way, there is a casino here, isn't there?

- I am not loving this already.

- Come on, Vini! I haven't bet since the beginning of the trip! I need a little fun.

- It's got everything here. And you having fun concerns me.

- Oh, stop worrying nonsense! What could possibly go wrong?

A while later, Enzo put on his best blouse and jeans. The occasion was different, as he had plans to go to the hotel's golf course. The idea itself was silly, as his personality did not fit together with golf. And not just that. To begin with, Enzo didn't even consider golf a sport. But anyway, it couldn't be that bad, right? Well...

- That's a bat. - said one of the hotel employees as soon as Enzo stepped onto the course for the first time.

Oh, this is going to be a disaster.

- Thank you. - Enzo replied ironically, albeit a little frustrated.

Enzo's preparation must have come out of a comedy movie. The discomfort was clear. Those weekend golfers were staring at him, because they knew that Enzo had no idea what he was doing. For starters, Enzo didn't wear those white butler gloves, because he thought it was complete garbage. So, no gloves! And a little reference to the movie The Incredibles. Then, Enzo didn't know how to position himself when it was time to hit the ball with the bat. Apparently there is a specific way to hit the ball, but it looked more like he was sweeping the grass. In short, a total disaster, as expected. The other guests lost concentration on their game, because they could not take their eyes off Enzo and his clumsiness.

- Oh, shit! - he complained. - It couldn't get any worse.

Once again, Enzo was talking more than he was supposed to, because one of those white golf carts stopped right next to him, which shouldn't be a problem, initially. The problem was who was behind the wheel.

- Since when do you golf? - Vini asked.

- Golf is for sophisticated and classy people, Vini. - Enzo answered with a certain arrogance, which Vini already expected.

- But you don't fit into either group. So, I ask you again. Since when do you play golf?

- Will you stop being an ass? I'm trying to impress Olivia's father!

- Who is Olivia?

- I'll tell you later

- Can I play too?

Enzo started to laugh.

- I may be dunking, but you couldn't even hit the ball.

- Why not? Are you afraid to lose?

- Losing? Vini, you're a moron! No way in hell are you going to achieve anything here.

- Stop babbling and give me the bat.

But, unlike the idiot Enzo, Vini seemed very comfortable with the club. Even his body and arm posture resembled that of a professional golfer. And on his first shot, Vini managed to get it straight.

- Beginner's luck. - Enzo did not want to acknowledge Vini's merit.

- A role in one. - Vini winked at Enzo and made a Seinfeld reference.

On the second shot, the ball flew a few meters until it landed exactly in the hole again.

- I did it again, Enzo. - Vini teased him. Enzo was not blind, just dull.

- Big whoop. - Enzo ignored it. - The grass is as smooth as a baby's tush. Anyone can score on this pitch.

The other golfers, including Olivia's father, stopped to admire Vini's shots. Smooth, classy and very stylish, like Frank Sinatra. The true reincarnation of Phil Mickelson. And it didn't take much time for Vini to attract the attention of the other guests, only this time for the right reasons.

- Oh, hush now! - Enzo whined.

- You must practice a lot. - said one of the golfers.

- I play every weekend. Lots of practice. - Vini lied to annoy Enzo.

- Oh, cut it, you are such a liar! - Enzo logically grumbled.

Once is happenstance. Twice is coincidence. Three times is enemy action.

Later that day, the boys discovered that there was a large artificial wave pool available for guests. And, of course, a chance for Enzo to forget all about his lack of golfing skills, even though he didn't have much talent on a surfboard either. But in any case, it was worth the trip. The girls went back to their room to put on their swimsuits, except that, of course, they returned half an hour later, because they got lost in the middle of the road. The boys simply took off their blouses and waited. Unfortunately, they would regret their decision.

- So, Vini, are you going to do something? - Pacifier asked.

- What?

- You see... You're alone, and so are Belgium's sisters.

- What are you getting at, you silly bastard?

- He wants to know if you're going to fuck any of the Belgium sisters during the trip. - said Enzo.

- Where do you get such ideas, Enzo?

- Me? I just translated what Pacifier was thinking!

Even though he had been thinking about it too.

- I'm not going to do a damn thing. - Vini announced.

- Whoa, are you really serious? - Enzo was surprised by this answer.

- I am, Enzo. And why are you idiots so concerned about this?

- Come on, Vini, you have a unique opportunity here! Practically all the other sisters are single.

- Yes, but Albania is a nympho, Italy is silly, and Russia creeps the shit out of me.

- Stop being a wimp! - complained Pacifier.

- I'm not being a wimp! I just don't want to make a decision that I might regret bitterly in the future.

- Vini, darling, but it's those decisions that make life interesting! If you go... You know, you, all your life, life would be flat, nobody would get laid, and we'd have sleeping disorders.

- I'm glad you're paying attention to the details, Enzo.

- Why don't you try Italy? - Enzo suggested. - All right, she's a little silly anyway, but so is Gisele in Enchanted, and you love the character.

- You're the one who fancies her, you jackass!

- It doesn't matter, but we are talking about you here. Italy is fun, funny, and very patient with idiots.

- Not to you exactly. - Vini reminded.

Enzo should have expected that answer, but still.

- But the principle still holds. - he said.

- So what will the two losers do? - Pacifier asked.

- First, I shall tell you to go fuck off. - Enzo smiled as he answered. - Then I will have a date with Miss Olivia.

- Enzo, what do you want with this girl? Just another one of your summer crushes.

Even though it's fall.

- What? That's not true! It's not true! - Enzo lied. Of course. - I really like Olivia...

- Oh, no, no, no. - Vini interrupted him. - I've heard the same thing. You like all of them and then you don't like them!

- Vini, Olivia is different. She's nice, she's fun, and I strangely love her family.

- Why? - Pacifier became interested.

- Her father has the same hobbies as Enzo, her mother is a hottie, and Olivia... Well, Enzo is with her, so you can guess why.

- Only Olivia's brother needs a little work.

- Does he still hate you?

- Yes. I don't get it. Just because I want to sleep with his sister? Is that a reason to hatred?

Well...

- That depends. - Vini said.

- On what? - Enzo asked.

- If you weren't such a dirty little prick.

Enzo smiled wryly.

- That's no reason either, Vini.

- But her parents like you, that's a good sign. Usually that doesn't happen.

- And where are the girls? - asked Vini, a little impatient.

- They must be making out in the bedroom. - Pacifier made a weird suggestion.

- Ew, Pacifier, you fucker! - Vini got angry. - That's disgusting!

- Was I the only one who thought that?

- Maybe, but I'll save that mental picture for a rainy day. - Enzo replied with a smile.

Finally, after some time, the girls were back, but now dressed in their colorful and tight bikinis. It was hard to tell whether they were going to the hotel pool or to a Victoria Secret photo shoot.

- It's about to rain a storm now. - Vini said.

The gang scattered in the huge pool. Enzo stayed with Vini and Amanda, while the Europe sisters went to the other side. And Pacifier remained alone, since no one was particularly keen on his company. Again, what was Belgium thinking? Nobody can tell. But despite the initial split, the group only began to have fun when they got back together. The sisters teased each other by throwing water on one another. Vini annoyed Enzo with waves of cold water and styrofoam macaroons. Everything was going well, until the grand finale. The artificial wave pool. Who would be the first to take a chance on that surfboard? Enzo? Vini? Belgium? But really... We had an upset.

- I'm going. - Italy said.

Everyone was stunned, but they didn't make any objections.

- I don't get it... - Enzo began to speak. - Remember when we were kids and the science books told us that global warming would melt the polar ice caps and cause the sea level to rise?

- I'm afraid of what's coming next... - said Belgium.

The narrator also shares the same feeling.

- Yes, Enzo. - said Vini. - I unfortunately remember.

- Think with me... Shouldn't it be a good thing for the WSL?

- What is WSL? - Pacifier asked.

- The World Surfing Championship. - Vini answered.

- That is, the waves in Nazaré must be 15, 20 meters high. With more water in the oceans, the waves will be 60 meters high! Yeah, yeah, some islands will disappear, Holland will become a water park, but who cares about Holland? Marijuana is allowed, the Dutch are too tall, I feel like an ant around 'em, the Dutch national team lost two World Cups to Argentina... And Max Verstappen, the country's idol, isn't even Dutch! What are they doing? Stealing idols from other countries? Have they become the British?

- What are you saying? - Albania asked.

- Everyone be quiet! - Russia complained. - Italy will fall off the cliff.

- Great encouragement. - Belgium said.

- Yes, encouragement to keep watching. - Said Pacifier.

But against all odds, Italy managed to hang on for at least thirty seconds on the board. A performance far beyond expectations. But as it turned out, the good act didn't last very long, as thirty-one seconds later, Italy slipped exactly like Steven Gerrard in that historic Premier League game against Chelsea in 2014. But unlike the uptight reactions of the British midfielder and Liverpool fans in that match, Italy got loud laughs from her sisters, Enzo and Pacifier.

- Is Italy okay? - asked Vini, looking a bit worried.

- Of course she is, Vini. - Enzo replied. She's laughing with joy.

The only problem was that this information was far from reality. Italy seemed a bit frustrated by what had happened. Taking advantage of the dispersion, she snuck out the back of the pool.

- You are such idiots. - said Vini.

- Come on, Vini, have some fun! - complained Pacifier.

- Ignore Vini, he wants to be Superman as usual. - Russia remarks.

But Vini wasn't going as Superman, in theory. In fact, he was going after Italy. The problem was to find her. Vini figured she wanted to be alone for a while, away from the group, but he also thought that a little companionship wouldn't hurt. So he decided to take a chance. And, of course, the old snag soon appeared. Finding the room.

- Why is this place a damn labyrinth? - Vini grumbled.

Fortunately, it didn't take long to find her, alone and lost, looking for her room, along with ten other Japanese guests.

- No, dammit! I want to go to my room and I can't because this hotel is a goddamn maze!

- It sucks. - Vini agreed. - At least we can search together.

Italy smiled.

- That's a good point.

They say two heads think better together. And it's true. Despite the mishaps and nerves, they managed to find the room in record time. The unlikely duo worked very well together. But what could this mean? Well, Vini didn't know, because he asked as soon as he had swiped the hotel card in the automatic door lock:

- Are you staying in the room?

- I'm a little tired. And sore. - Italy replied.

- Do you want me to check in? - Vini made an interesting offer. - I mean, I'm no Dr. House, but I can help you with anything.

Italy smiled again.

- Could you get some ice?

- Sure.

When Vini returned, Italy was lying on her bed. It felt like a dream, because something was telling her that she would not be leaving that room any time soon.

- Where does it hurt? - he asked.

- My shoulder. And knee. And my back. - Italy replied, pointing.

- I wonder if it's not dislocated?

- The back?

- No, dear, the shoulder because of the fall.

- Oh. I don't think so. - Italy shook her head.

Vini put on some ice and waited for a reaction. Of course, Italy complained about the pain and the burns caused by the blow to her skin. Then he noticed an interesting detail on her back.

- Is that a tattoo?

- Yes, it is.

- I didn't know you had a tattoo.

- I got it last year.

- Belgium never told me.

- Because she is an idiot.

- What does it mean exactly? The tattoo.

- It is a constellation. My father was walking through a desert in Africa when he looked up into the sky and saw a huge amount of stars, the most beautiful sky he had ever seen in his life.

- It must have been great.

- He says it was.

- It is very beautiful.

Italy smiled again. It is very true that the daughters of Mr. Banks exuded natural beauty. Vini had dated Belgium for years, but never really noticed Italy's slim face and blue eyes. For obvious reasons.

- I don't understand how my sisters went out with Enzo, but I totally understand why Belgium dates you. - she said.

Do it, you idiot. Just do it.

- Oh, Enzo's not so awful. - Vini snorted.

No, don't talk about Enzo! Do something about it!

- You see, she's the one who is losing. - Italy tried to bait him again.

- Nah, Belgium is a nice person, I like her...

Oh, boy...

- Vini. - Italy had to interrupt him.

- Yes?

- Are you going to kiss me or not?

Oh, finally!

- Am I? - Vini was apprehensive.

- If you don't go, I will.

Then, finally, it happened. Italy leaned forward until she gently touched Vini's face, and Vini closed his eyes as required by kissing protocol. And it didn't even take much work, because Italy knew what she was doing. At least one of them needed to know. But there was one more thing left to discuss. In a moment, Italy soon pulled Vini's blouse off. The signs couldn't have been starker.

- Wait, wait, wait. - Vini said.

- What now? - Italy was frustrated that Vini was ruining the moment again.

- Are we really going to do this?

Oh, please, someone hit Vini with a pillow.

- Is there something stopping you? - she asked. Impatient.

- What about your father showing up?

- He's playing poker.

- How do you know?

- Why do you think he chose this hotel?

Okay, even Vini didn't expect that.

- All right, I take it. - Vini shut up. Finally.

And finally, they did. And that's all that needs to be said.

Hours later, after a well-deserved rest after... Well, the whole thing, Italy eventually woke up after a relaxing nap. The whole scenario seemed so surreal, Italy in bed next to her ex-brother-in-law. Everything was going smoothly, too smoothly. Until that moment, there was no reason to concern.

- Good morning, Little Prince. - she said as she kissed him.

- Hello, Miss Sunshine. - Vini replied.

- Miss Sunshine? - Italy didn't understand.

- Never mind.

- Ha. I'll do my best.

- Yesterday was wonderful.

Hold on. Yesterday?

- That's true - Italy agreed. - You are very good. Belgium never told me you were so handy.

- Hey, I may not have the biggest boat in the marina, but I can ride the waves like nobody's business.

Whatever Vini intended by that.

- What? - Italy wondered, but thought the analogy was quite funny.

- Sorry, I'm hanging out with Enzo a lot.

- Do you want to get some coffee? - Italy quickly changed the subject.

- Sure, of course. I'm starving.

And then the quietness went out of the room as soon as Vini saw the clock.

- Italy! It's not the next day! It's 7:01!

- Say it again.

- Where is everybody?

- Did they ever return to the room?

Vini had no idea what to say, except:

- I have no freaking clue.

- Maybe they got lost in Pan's Labyrinth and were devoured.

- That's a good reference. - Vini complimented.

- But then... What do we do? We can't let them find out. And you have Amanda.

It took a moment for Vini to associate the name with the person.

- Who? - Vini asked.

- Your girlfriend, Vini.

Vini's eyes widened.

- Oh, holy smokes! I completely missed it!

- What are we going to do?

As they were trying to find a plausible justification for all this, the gang made their way back to the room, in fact almost everyone, because Enzo again had the brilliant idea of splitting the group in two to find the room quicker. Yes, the tactics that had gone wrong before would work again? Only in Enzo's peanut head. Anyway, the group composed of the girls Belgium, Albania and Russia got there first, and the rest took a bit longer to find their way back home. As soon as they opened the door, the girls were surprised to see Italy lying in bed at that hour.

- Italy, what are you doing in bed? - Albania asked.

- I don't know. - Italy tried to think of something fast. - What do people do in bed?

- It depends. If it was someone like Albania, the answer is somewhat obvious.

- How funny you are, Belgium. - Albania didn't like the reference.

- But you didn't answer the question. - Russia remembered.

- I don't have to answer anybody. You are not my lawyer.

Speaking of which...

- Where is dad? - Belgium asked.

- Probably spending our money on gambling. - Russia replied.

- I think I know why he likes Enzo so much. - Italy said.

Then a small noise under the bed caught the girls' attention. Russia looked down and what she found surprised her.

- Vini? What is he doing down there?

- Hi Russia. - Vini pretend to be kidding.

- Get out of there! What are you doing under Italy's bed?

It sounded rather obvious. And it was up to Albania to say it:

- They were having sex.

Russia and Belgium stared at their sister for a few seconds. Until Belgium finally said:

- Not all of them are sluts like you, Albania.

And as if there was no more perfect timing for the situation, Amanda, Pacifier, and Enzo finally found the room.

- I'll never listen to Enzo again in my life! - Amanda arrived whining.

- Who said to listen to stupid Enzo? - Italy said.

- Whoa, what's going on? - Amanda asked after analyzing the situation.

- Italy and Vini were having sex. - Pacifier said.

- How the hell could you know that? You just got here! - Belgium recalled.

- I am a wise idiot.

- You forgot to remove wise from the sentence. - Enzo said.

But while they were arguing about irrelevant issues, Amanda wanted background info on the main topic.

- Vini, what's going on?

Oh, how was he going to get out of that?

- Amanda, it's not what you think.

That's not a good indication.

- Vini... Is it true what Pacifier is saying?

- No! - Vini, well, denied it.

- Then why is he saying this?

- Because Pacifier is legitimately a savant. - Russia answered.

- Okay, okay. - Italy interrupted them. - Yes, we slept together.

- Italy! - Vini was shocked. How could she give them away so quickly?

- It was actually pretty swift. - Enzo said.

- Shut up, Enzo. - Vini complained.

- Actually, if you had shut up, you wouldn't be in this situation.

In a funny way, Enzo had a point.

- Vini, infidelity? - Belgium was also a little surprised. - I could expect that from Enzo...

- Thank you. - Enzo smiled ironically.

- But you? - Belgium continued. - I can't believe you would do this.

- I can't believe you're going out with Pacifier! - Vini tried to defend himself.

- Are you really going to use that as an argument? - Albania asked.

- Buddy, go home. It's not your night. - Enzo advised.

- What does this have to do with anything? - Belgium asked. - I thought you wanted to take a break and meet other people?

- Yes, but Pacifier? Get to meet him?

- And Pacifier is not even a person. - said Russia, always mean when necessary.

- Well, I was wrong.

- So, what do you want?

- Okay, guys, this is our first day. - Italy reminded. - We don't need to make a ruckus. We still have two more days to kill each other.

- I should kill you. - Belgium said. - That was the biggest betrayal since... since... Enzo I need one of your stupid analogies!

- Get your own stupid analogies, Belgium! - said Enzo.

- Greatest betrayal since Arminius? - Vini suggested.

- See, this is why I like Enzo's analogies. I don't even know who this person is.

- Because you are stupid, that's why. - Albania said.

- Enough, I can't take this anymore! - Amanda finally got tired and left the room.

As soon as she slammed the door, an awkward silence ruled the small dormitory. Vini was staring at Belgium, who was looking furiously at Italy, who was facing Russia and Albania. If this were a history book, World War III would certainly start in that particular building.

- What should I do? - asked Vini.

- Don't look at me, I'm out of thoughts. - Enzo said.

Vini smiled ironically and replied:

- I wasn't going to ask for your advice, Enzo.

- I'll talk to her. - Said Pacifier.

Huh. And then, Pacifier too, left the room. The tension was such that no one even bothered to ask why Pacifier was the one who was supposed to comfort Amanda. And, seconds later, the Panic Room would lose another important member.

- Oh, shit! I forgot! Olivia! I have to meet her. Is anyone going to use the bathroom?

- No, Enzo. - Albania said.

- Are you sure? Vini's intestines often sing at tense moments.

- I didn't need to know that. - Russia said.

Twenty minutes later, Enzo came out of the shower with a towel around his waist and the strong smell of absinthe.

- Enzo, do you smell like lavender? - asked Italy. - What's that perfume?

- Do you wear Carolina Herrera? - Belgium asked.

- Hey, I don't meddle in your life!

Which wasn't exactly true. But who cares? Anyway, Enzo went after Room 250, Olivia's family room. But of course he couldn't find it. It took another twenty minutes to finally knock on the Scott family's door. Just when another problem emerged.

- Hello Enzo. - said Olivia's father Thomas. - Are you looking for Olivia?

- Yes, as a matter of fact I am. Is she with you?

- She's been looking for you.

Uh-oh.

- You're late. - Sam came up behind his father.

- I know. - Enzo smiled smugly. - She said she'd find me here.

- Forty minutes ago.

- Who the hell are you? Owner of those Swiss watches?

- Enzo, Olivia must be at the restaurant. - Thomas made an interesting suggestion.

- Crap. All right, I'll run and find her.

After all, it's easier to get out of the hotel than to walk in.

- I still don't like you. - said Sam.

- I'm used to that. - Enzo smiled and winked.

Expecting the worst, Enzo went to the Japanese restaurant in the hotel, looking for Olivia's name at the reception, but found nobody; at least none that interested him at that moment. All seemed hopeless. But as he walked past the pool, Enzo saw a beautiful girl with long hair at the top of the wooden bridge. It looked like a dream. The palm fronds swaying, the silence of a quiet night after the storm. Due to the darkness at night and the lack of lighting in the pool, Enzo could only assume that that female figure on the bridge was indeed Olivia. But he had to be sure. Therefore, he followed the mysterious figure to the final spot. And finally he got the answer he wanted so badly.

- Olivia! - Enzo said cheerfully.

- Enzo! - she answered, also happy to see him.

- Sorry for the delay. Some stuff happened.

- I get it. I dropped by your room earlier today.

Uh-oh.

- Yeah, so sorry about that.

- I could feel the tension.

- Nah, just a little bit of infidelity and angst. Nothing too important.

Olivia began to laugh.

- Really?

- Yeah, they're such morons. But I wanted to ask you something.

Oh, Enzo was much more direct than Vini in this regard.

- How did you find my room? Since I got here I always seem to misplace myself!

- It's easier after the 20th try.

- Fair enough.

Enzo hugged her and protected her from the cold and the wind, which became stronger. He saw a unique opportunity to escort her to some other hidden corner of the hotel. But first, he felt obliged to ask:

- So, what do you want to do?

- There's a nice gazebo nearby.

Olivia didn't know, but going to the mirador would mean going through the hotel's parking lot, which could be a problem considering Enzo's irritating personality in these specific situations. But of course... She didn't know that just yet.

- Huh, look there! - Enzo exclaimed.

- What? - Olivia didn't understand.

- That red Porsche.

- Oh, that's ours.

That changes everything.

- Oh, nice Porsche. - said Enzo, pointing ahead. - Does your mother like cars?

- No, it's my father's.

Anyone else would miss this information, but Enzo, on the other hand...

- Your father drives a Porsche Boxster?

- Yes, why?

Well...

- This is a woman's car. Seriously, if a man is caught driving that, the car literally screams: I'm in a homo affective relationship!

Olivia started to laugh.

- Not that there's anything wrong with that. - Enzo added.

- Sure, of course. But my father bought it long before we were born.

- What do you mean?

- He was dating my mother.

- And she fell for it?

- I guess she did.

- You got more problems than you know.

- Stop being a fool.

Meanwhile, in Room 100, the picture wasn't exactly settled. Belgium still wanted to shoot Italy, Albania had left them, and Russia was surprisingly neutral in the whole story - which geopolitically speaking must be a first time thing. The mood of tension was still clear, as if a bomb hidden somewhere was just a button away from throwing everything into the air. But one question still needed to be answered.

- Where is dad? - Italy asked.

Okay, two questions.

- Never mind, you crazy witch. - Belgium replied snidely. - I'm not talking to you.

- And where is Amanda? - Russia asked. - And Pacifier?

Now we got the question right.

- Guys, no drama, it's been over an hour. - Vini said. - A little longer and I'll have to trigger the alarm.

- To save whom? You? - Russia asked an important question. Perhaps she picked a side. -

Belgium will probably drop you here in the room.

- Thank you, Russia.

And an awkward silence filled the room. Someone needed to say something intelligent to break the heavy mood.

- I'll go find Amanda. - said Vini, getting out of bed.

- You're going after Amanda? - Russia was impressed. - I can't believe you have the cheek to think that!

- What do you want me to do, Russia? Leave her at the hotel?

- I don't think she's that bothered about it.

- Thank you. Now I'm coming after her.

- We won't go after your body in case the worst happens. - said Belgium.

Meanwhile, Enzo hugged Olivia while they enjoyed the beautiful view of the capital city from above. Unlike the chaos and stress in Room 100, everything was going on blue and clear sky for the couple. Everything felt seamless.

- My father said that you had to fake being related to him in order to get into the restaurant. - said Olivia, randomly.

- Well, it's a funny tale. - Enzo began to laugh.

- So, we were momentarily brother and sister?

- For a little bit, but you don't want to maintain a relationship based on incest. Speaking from experience.

And after that last disturbing sentence from Enzo, all that remained was for Olivia to ask one final question:

- Should I ask?

- I'd rather you didn't. - Enzo answered.

And after a while without any conversation, Enzo had a few ideas in his mind. But the fear of revealing the plan haunted him. What do you say to someone you've just met and had a very nice evening, but don't have the right place to do the deed?

- I grabbed the car keys. Do you want to go there? - Olivia suggested.

- Do you want to do it in the Porsche?

- Do you have a better idea?

And seconds later Enzo answered:

- Let's go to the Porsche.

Fortunately, Olivia knew what she was doing. She pressed a button on the key that blocked the door-unlocking alarm from squealing like a newborn baby. Enzo opened the driver's door for Olivia and sat down in the back seats of the sports car next to her.

- Can I lie down here? - Enzo asked cordially.

- Sure, hang up your hat.

And after a while of lying down, looking at the stars under their heads, Enzo had to make a rather woolly comment.

- Huh, that's strange.

- What, dear?

- I don't know. I sit in a German car and I start to grow a strange sentiment of willing to dominate Europe. Starting with Poland.

Olivia started to laugh.

- Dummy.

Green flag. Enzo moved closer to her face and kissed her slowly. At that moment, there was no cold, no wind, no blaring alarms, and no Nazi tanks to stop that moment. Unless there was something very particular to interrupt the natural cycle of events, Enzo and Olivia would do it right there.

- Wait, wait. - Olivia stood up and walked away. - I need to tell you something.

- Enzo paid attention, although his mind was focused elsewhere. And the blood too.

- I'm a virgin.

Well, Enzo could feel your red blood cells coursing through the veins and arteries of your body.

- Really? - he asked, even though the question was theoretically rhetorical.

- Wow, you're lucky you're cute. - Olivia stroked his face.

- Lucky me, then!

Despite the limited space, they managed to squeeze together in the back seat of the Porsche. Of course, the leather made everything a little... Let's use gluey, but that certainly didn't stop them at any point.

Meanwhile, Vini followed Amanda's gaze through the hotel hallways. At first, he had no idea where to search. Although he didn't put it into words, Vini harbored a weird feeling deep inside that Pacifier and Amanda were doing.... Things. And that feeling increased as the minutes ticked by. But, of course, that was just a sensation, confined to the realm of ideas and thoughts. But soon Vini would get his answer, because a curious noise of whispering and moaning made him intrigued. And as quickly as he found the cradle of the noises, he didn't think twice. He kicked open the bedroom door and got an unfortunate surprise, but not exactly the one he was imagining.

- Who the fuck are you? - Said a half-naked man on a double bed on top of a young girl.

- Albania? - Vini asked, dumbfounded. - What the fuck are you doing?

It was very obvious, but Vini felt the obligation to ask.

- Do I need to tell you? - Albania asked again.

- It seems that the rumors are not that far from the truth.

Vini was being kind. Albania's stories were far from being mere rumors.

- What are you doing here? - she asked.

- You know, I should be asking this question! - Vini replied.

- I was looking for Amanda.

- And it looks like you found something else.

And after that enlightening reveal, Vini left the room and again departed. The search for Amanda was more like Christopher Columbus' expedition in search of alternative routes to the Indies, which led to the discovery of the Americas. But as it turned out, unlike the Portuguese's expeditions, Vini's discoveries proved to be a big and total waste of time, because, unlike the Bahamas in 1492, Amanda was nowhere to be found. And, yes, Vini was getting restless. And, as he headed towards the stairs, Vini was frightened to finally find both of them doing exactly what his intuition had predicted minutes earlier.

- What the fuck? - Vini asked.

- Vini? - Amanda was startled and turned away from Pacifier. - What are you doing here?

- Why does everyone keep asking me this question?

But someone had to clarify the situation.

- Hey, hey, you can't say a word! - said Pacifier.

And Pacifier would not be that person.

- Oh, so two wrongs make a right?

- Vini, honey... - Amanda tried to explain herself.

- What's the deal with you? - Vini asked. - I can't believe you thought it was a great idea to do it with Pacifier in the fire exit!

There was no answer to that statement. And Vini didn't want to drag the issue further. So one more time, just as he did with Albania, he turned his back and left again. The only problem was to find Room 100 a second time. And after twenty minutes of soul searching and short patience, Vini finally found it again.... Enzo! Because he would hardly find the room in twenty minutes.

- Oh, great! - Vini complained when he found him in the hall.

- Vini, what a surprise to find you on this beautiful night of open sky and full moon.

- Save your sentimentalism for another day.

- Bad night?

- Bad? Bad would be if I had slipped off the ladder and fallen on my face in dog poop.

- Oh, crappy.

- Yes, Enzo, crappy.

- Anyway, this is Olivia. - said Enzo, ignoring Vini's moment of calamity.

- Hi, Olivia, nice to meet you, Pacifier is having sex with Amanda at this very moment.

- Oh, darn. - said Olivia.

But Vini was not very happy to hear this, for he wanted everyone to feel the same way.

- Is that all you have to say? - Vini complained.

- Well, she could've said "oh, fuck", but the only one on it right now is Pacifier and Amanda. And we a few minutes ago

- Fantastic. This a nightmare and I can't wake up! Could this night get any worse?

After a night of many thrills, Mr. Banks returns from his gambling, a non-verbal announcement that everyone should be in the room, hating each other or not. Interestingly, he did not reveal on that day whether there were monetary gains or losses while away.

The next day, the penultimate day, the teens woke up at uncoordinated times. First, Amanda got up early, around six in the morning, and left the room for a moment. Only Vini saw her leaving, he thought about chasing her, but then what? The night before, Amanda didn't want to talk to Vini. So, following his gut, it was all over. There was no point in fighting for an illusion. The funny thing was that Vini didn't miss Amanda like he missed Belgium. The only setback was, in fact, Italy. So he awakened his former sister-in-law and suggested a peaceful walk, in theory, through the gardens that separated the other apartment buildings.

And, obviously, Enzo was the last to be awake. After his very romantic evening with Olivia, all he wanted was a little rest. Unfortunately for him, his plan went south when he checked the clock on the table. 10:50. In other words, 10 more minutes or he would miss the hotel breakfast, which for Enzo would be the equivalent of death.

- Holy shit! God damn it! - Enzo jumped out of bed and ran to the restaurant.

Still, it could be worse.

10:58. Enzo looked like he had just come out of a Halloween party, with his hair in a mess, his clothes crumpled, and his face covered with red marks from his pillow. The receptionist looked at Enzo suspiciously, but made no further objections. Fortunately, no one judged him, after all, he was one of the last to show up at the restaurant. Luckily for him, he could still enjoy the three different types of cereal, a cold French roll, cold eggs, and a butter of questionable quality. Still, what's the worst that could happen? A stomach ache?

Meanwhile, Vini and Italy walked through the lilies and roses in the hotel garden. It was still reasonably early, but the guests were already by the pool. Children of all ages crossed by the unlikely and young couple in crisis as if they were invisible. But the truth is that they needed to talk about the whole business. Amanda, Belgium, the fact that they slept together. It was all so confusing and so maddening. Vini felt guilty for hurting Amanda and was sure that Belgium no longer loved him anymore. At least that's what he thought.

- What's it gonna be, Vini? - Italy asked.

- I don't know, that's why I called you here. - Vini reasoned.

- I mean, I don't want to get in trouble with my sister. But I don't want to miss seeing you because of her either.

Oh.

- So...? - Vini asked for a decision on her part.

- I don't know.

Italy seemed sincere in her words. Of all the girls, she was the most innocent and least mean. Compared to Russia, Albania and Belgium, Italy was like an angel on earth. The question was how much Italy was willing to sacrifice to be happy.

- You need to talk to Belgium.

- She doesn't want to see me. I actually felt a heavy object on my face, like a pillow. Should I be worried?

- Not exactly, it was just Enzo. But he was kidding.

During the walk and the conversation about feelings, choices, love, anger, desire, and... Failed murder attempts, they were both surprised by Enzo crossing their way at exactly that moment, with several geese chasing him at high speed.

- Holy shit! Get these ducks away from me! - Enzo shouted and started to flee.

- They are not ducks, they are geese. - Belgium clarified and started laughing.

- Who the fuck are you, anyway? Darwin?

- What the heck is going on with Enzo? - Italy asked, surprised.

- Enzo must have eaten some bread and dropped it on his shirt. A rookie mistake.

- Has this happened to him before?

- Yes, but with seagulls. That was a fun day.

- Get out, you stupid swans! Ducks, geese, Donald Duck! Whatever!

Enzo kept racing to get away from the geese. The geese in eight formation were trying to knock him down and peck his chest at all costs, but to no avail, as Enzo was able to dodge and knock them out with a few blows.

- Should we help him? - Italy asked.

- Who? The geese? - Vini cynically asked. - Nah, they can devour Enzo easily enough without our help.

To add insult to injury, Russia and Pacifier began to throw pieces of bread at Enzo, with the sole intention of making him even more appetizing to the hungry birds. Still, it could be worse.

- So, what are we going to do today? - asked Mr. Banks to his daughters and... Apparently, new children.

- We haven't even been to the casino yet. - replied Vini.

- We haven't... - Russia reminded. - By the way, how did it go there, daddy?

He immediately recognized the malice in his daughter, smiled wryly and answered:

- We don't need to broach the topic.

- Really, how come?

- Russia, why do you always have to be so mischievous? - Belgium asked. - Are you trying to hide something?

- I'm not the one hiding something here.

That comment from Russia left everyone a bit surprised, even more than Stalin when he realized that the Nazis arrived on his land in 1941 - yes, I only made this comparison because of the girl's name, after all, historical references cannot be in vain.

- What does it mean? - Italy asked.

Russia then looked at Belgium and asked again:

- Do I need to say?

*Flashback moment*

Yes, Russia was referring to the previous night, when everything did not end exactly as described. Because as soon as he had said goodbye to Vini, Enzo returned to the room. Of course, it took a long time to find it, but at this stage of the novel this detail doesn't even need to be remembered. After a very pleasant evening with Olivia, Enzo just wanted to take a shower and lie in bed for the next day. But who said that the surprises ended there? As soon as he entered the bathroom, he was startled to find Belgium sitting on the floor of the shower stall and the water falling on her head. At first he thought of running away, because who knows what an unstable person like her could do to him. But to his surprise, Belgium was alone in the room. Something must have happened to put her in that condition, or else something else was keeping her away. The fact is that Enzo really didn't want to pay to see, so he turned his back and was ready to go, but then Belgium called his name in a sad and muffled voice. Now Enzo had no way out of the scene.

- What happened? - he wondered.

- I'm going to die alone. - she said, without any context.

- No, you won't die alone. Lonely, maybe, but not alone.

- Thanks for the boost.

- I'm serious, beautiful girls are never alone, because they have a world of options at their disposal, a lot of guys dreaming of a chance with them.

- What do you say?

Little by little Enzo gained her trust, so much so that the sad look on Belgium's face slowly faded away.

- You know, if the handsome and popular guys don't satisfy you, you jump to the next level, which is the funny and socially considered good-looking guys.

- Let me guess. The next group is the funny but ugly ones?

- Actually, there is still the group of nice guys in the middle, but those are just there to talk about feelings. And these guys are already having sex with other guys in the same group.

Belgium started to laugh at Enzo's foolishness.

- How do you think about this sort of stuff?

- I have a lot of free time. - Enzo answered.

- I mean, why don't you use your brains for more relevant things, Enzo?

- Well, my savant's intelligence has its limitations. I know I won't cure hunger in Africa, nor floods in Asia, nor drug addicts in Holland and California. Nor will I develop electric cars, Toyota is already pissing me off with that bloody Prius.

- But?

- I feel I can help some idiots. For example, Vini. I like to think that I have helped him by bonding you two together.

- Well, it doesn't make any more difference now.

- About this, I wasn't going to say anything, but this whole "on a break" thing is a huge bullshit.

Only idiots try to take lessons from a sitcom.

- You could have told me sooner.

- I thought everybody knew that. I mean, you're going to baseline your relationship on Ross and Rachel? Seriously?

- Bottom line, it doesn't make a difference now anyway.

- Come on, you guys are great with each other. I mean, he could find something nicer at your house, but I'm not one to pass judgment.

- Ha, ha. - Belgium has already made the frustrated grimace.

- Just kidding. - Enzo smiled. - The truth is that you are a good catch. And I'm sorry how our relationship ended. I was a jerk and I regret it.

Interestingly enough, Belgium at no point questioned whether Enzo was really being sincere. But just to confirm, she asked:

- Do you really mean it?

- I really mean it.

Belgium smiled brightly once again. Enzo hadn't totally forgotten, but her hypnotizing blue eyes messed with his buried feelings. The question would be, what was Enzo supposed to do?

- Come on, I'll help you out. - he said.

- But I'm not finished yet. - Belgium retorted.

- How long have you been there?

- Stop being a nuisance. I'm taking a shower.

- Actually, you were crying in the bathroom. Two very different things.

- Amazing how you never change, Enzo Carvalho.

- I can say the same, Belgium Christine Banks.

Belgium got confused.

- My middle name is Megan.

- I knew it, but I wanted to confirm that you did too.

And then, the brief moment of stress was finished when Belgium leaned forward and kissed Enzo. It wasn't exactly a passionate or romantic kiss, which seemed very strange. To tell the truth, Enzo really wanted to be anywhere on the planet, even in a Chechnyan prison, than in that stall. However, Enzo returned the kiss, only smoother and with more romance and lightness. Yes, the roles were clearly reversed, nothing in that scene made perfect sense.

- You're a very good kisser. - Enzo praised.

- Thank you, Enzo. I've been practicing. - Belgium responded with another joke.

- Friend? Oh, you girls are so lucky...

Not that there's anything wrong with that.

- You're joking, right? - Belgium frowned.

- So... Pillow? - Enzo stuck to the subject.

Belgium didn't answer. Which could be a hint.

- Don't spread it around.

- Don't worry about it. The pillows kiss a lot in adolescence.

Whatever Enzo meant by that.

- Quit talking, you idiot. - Belgium smiled and kissed him again.

But then the bathroom door opened. And the normalcy of life resumed like an old man returns to a soup kitchen. Well, something like that.

- Belgium? - Russia asked, confused, still holding the doorknob.

- Russia? - Belgium asked, paralyzed and wide-eyed.

- George Clooney? - Enzo asked.

Neither Russia nor Belgium understood why Enzo had said the actor's name randomly.

- What? It seemed appropriate. - Enzo promptly justified himself.

*End of flashback*

- Whoa, that was quick. - Enzo flattered.

- What? - Italy asked.

- Nothing, nothing.

- Amateurs. - Vini said to Enzo and smiled.

After lunch, Enzo noticed that there was a football field. Not only that, he also found people willing to play. Who would refuse a friendly match on a Champions League level grass field in a five star hotel in a mountain weather?

- I'm out. - Vini said.

- What? - Enzo didn't understand the refusal.

- I don't want to play with you.

- Why not?

- Because whenever there's any kind of competition, you're three times as unbearable.

- Nah, that's baloney.

- Then, you secretly set up betting groups to earn easy money.

- Hey, if I lose, at least I can win some.

- Why do you say that, Dilma?

- Great, when Bet365 does that, there is no harm done. But when I do it, it's a hassle.

- Anyway, Enzo, I'm off. And I have pain in my knees.

- Both knees?

- Yes.

- You are the Mexican version of Ribery.

- Are you calling me ugly?

- No, I'm calling you a glass player.

- Me? What about you? You can't run for more than five minutes! You are a worse version of Eden Hazard.

- Okay, now you have caught on.

And you didn't stop there.

- And that's why... - Vini started.

- Don't say it, Vini! - Enzo soon realized which road Vini was going to lead.

- I'm just saying...

- Don't touch that can of worms, Vinicius Valverde, I'm warnin' you.

But there was no turning back. Vini really knew how to piss him off.

- That's why you never won the school Olympics.

- I finished runner-up four years in a row!

- I know, Castroneves. Close, but no cigar.

- Man, what I would do for a cigar right now.

- And he complains of being called Hazard.

But despite Enzo's persistence, Vini decided to stay in the small twenty-seat grandstand. And obviously the apple didn't fall far from the tree, as some random people sat next to him and the main subject was betting. Shocking, thought Vini.

- Enzo! - Vini mumbled.

And the match began. Enzo's team had no trouble scoring the first goal. The strikers were very good and ran a lot. And two minutes later, the second goal. Then, a penalty. The defender knocked down a player from Enzo's team inside the penalty area. Enzo, of course, kept the ball in his hands. He had a slogan. Wait for the goalkeeper to pick a corner and shoot into the opposite corner. Ball on one side and goalkeeper on the other. In one of those school Olympiads he attended, he also had a penalty kick for Enzo to score the winning goal in the final minutes. Yes, he thought about the theory. Wait for the goalkeeper to pick a corner. The problem is that the goalkeeper didn't move, he waited for Enzo to kick the ball to make the decision of which corner to play, which confused Enzo. And when he positioned himself close to the ball, the shot came out too weak, not enough space between the ball and his right foot. The result? Another defeat, the third on that occasion.

But he was willing to change this scenario. He positioned the ball. He took five steps back. He counted to ten. He ran. In the middle of the run, he stopped, the goalkeeper moved his right leg to the right side, so the left side would be a good alternative. Before he shot, he stopped his stride again. The goalkeeper returned to the center of the goal, but bent his right leg, which indicated that he would jump to the right corner. Then Enzo would kick into the left corner. It didn't matter how hard the shot was. The goalkeeper would not save, physics would not allow it. The only problem was the accuracy of the shot, which whimsically hit the post.

- Holy shit! - Enzo shouted.

- Same old Enzo. - Vini laughed to himself.

But then he recalled an important detail.

- Oh, shit. - Vini complained. - I'm really going to lose money because of that stupid Enzo.

Alone, Vini returned to the room. Strangely enough, it was empty. There was something wrong. He had a strange feeling that he was being watched by something or someone. At that time of events, Vini simply hoped that it was an evil demon coming from the gates of hell to possess his soul.

- Pacifier? - Vini asked, confused.

Well, it wasn't an evil demon, but simply evil.

- What do you want, Vini?

- A moment of peace and quiet, but it seems that this hotel is very big and so small at the same time.

- Look what I found.

Pacifier, like the good idiot he was, showed an open red Louis Vuitton suitcase.

- This is from Belgium, isn't it?

- Yes - Pacifier confirmed. - But look at this.

Vini's gut feeling told him that he was going to regret it. Then Pacifier showed him several colorful cylindrical objects inside Belgium's suitcase, which obviously attracted his curiosity.

- What are these?

- They are tampons. - Vini answered with certainty.

Pacifier grimaced as if Vini was speaking in an unknown alien language.

- You know what these are, don't you? - Vini asked teasingly.

- Of course I do, I'm not a virgin.

Uh-oh. If you don't know something, just say you don't know. Vini learned that from Enzo. And anything you say will be used against you in court. Vini learned... From Law and Order.

- Explain yourself.

Obviously Pacifier couldn't explain. But then another problem quickly emerged.

- You shouldn't touch Belgium's belongings - Vini reminded him - She'll know you've been snooping through her suitcase. And I'll be an accomplice to your nonsense. Belgium will kill me before we even get home.

- And what about you and her? - Pacifier continued to be nosy.

- It doesn't matter. - Vini replied. - And I'm not going to discuss it with you either.

Pacifier returned to the restaurant and found Enzo and Olivia at one of the tables. In fact, Enzo had just stayed to keep her company, because after the embarrassing defeat at the football game, he just wanted a little consolation.

- Hey, Enzo! - Pacifier called out to him.

Yes, Enzo heard Pacifier, but he didn't want to talk to him.

- Enzo, that boy is calling you. - said Olivia.

- Ignore him, he must be one of those peculiar boys. - Enzo replied.

- Peculiar boys? - Olivia didn't understand.

- You know, those crazy bad boys.

- Huh, I get it. But why did you use "peculiar"?

- Doesn't that mean the same thing?

- No. But you reminded me of that movie about the peculiar children.

- With Eva Green?

- Yes.

- Oh, I love Eva Green. If I could, I'd like to be her pillow.

Olivia started to laugh.

- What?

- Well, I wouldn't stand much of a chance with her. You see, she's French, and the French don't have much tolerance for anyone. But if I were her pillow, she would always sleep with me. And if I was lucky I might even dream of a few kisses.

An idea like that could only come out of Enzo's twisted mind.

- Where do you get these things from?

- I'm very smart.

And after much trying, Pacifier finally gave up and approached them both.

- Enzo, you useless idiot, I was calling you!

Enzo stared at Olivia and answered:

- I hardly even noticed.

- Anyway, look what I found. - Pacifier handed Enzo three tampons.

Enzo was surprised, but also intrigued. And he felt obliged to ask:

- Where the hell did you get this shit?

- In the Belgium suitcase.

- You snooped through Belgium's suitcase?

Olivia was impressed by the vocabulary.

- Snooped?

- I read the dictionary secretly. - Enzo revealed. - But don't tell Vini.

As if Vini didn't already know that.

A few people were still in the restaurant. Fortunately, no one was very interested in what those two boys had in hand. In other words, the possibilities were endless.

- Did you get the tampons from Belgium? - Enzo asked. - Why did you take them?

- If you take the top part off, you can have a straw war with the bottom part removed.

A very, very stupid idea.

- Pacifier, you are a genius. - Enzo replied with a smile.

Later that day, Enzo took Olivia to the casino and to the disco. It would be the last night of that strange and revealing vacation trip. Many things occurred, but the key point of that trip had not exactly been settled. Therefore, Vini did not go with Enzo because he needed to fix matters with Belgium. And, after half an hour looking for his room, Vini found her. The only problem was that she was not exactly alone.

- Hi - he said to Belgium. And Amanda, both sitting on the bed, probably talking.

- Hi, Vini. - They both answered at the same time.

Danger, danger, danger.

- Am I going to get whacked?

- Discussed, but overruled. - Amanda said.

- Who had the call? - Vini asked.

- Enzo.

- Enzo! - Vini hummed.

- Vini, darling, I wanted you to know that you are an idiot. - Belgium said.

Amanda shook her head positively.

- No moot, right?

Amanda and Belgium exchanged glances. That was the indicator that Vini had a long road to hoe. And they answered again at the same time:

- Nope.

- Is there something I can do?

Humiliate yourself? Walk around the hotel in his underwear?

- We want a threesome. - said Belgium.

Whoa, the punishments of the twenty-first century are awkward. Twitter's fault.

- Pardon?

- Yes - Belgium awkwardly confirmed. - You know, you got Italy on our break while you were hanging out with Amanda. What happened to you? I kept wondering. I swear. So, I had a genius idea. I proposed to her a threesome.

Vini stared at Amanda for a few seconds.

- And you're in?

Amanda shook her head.

- What did Italy do to mess with your head? I wondered. So Belgium and I want to prove that we're better than her.

- Why? - Vini awkwardly asked.

Who cares?

- Because we can't let silly Italy mess with our heads.

After all, this responsibility is exclusively reserved for girlfriends and wives.

- Well, all right.

Vini started leaning in to kiss Belgium, oh, how he missed those soft, cherry-red lips. At that moment, there was no doubt. Belgium was the one he wanted, but he still had questions about his feelings for Italy. What would he do? Would he go back with Belgium to try to kill these unresolved feelings? Or would he resume his relationship with Belgium and continue to see Italy without Belgium being aware? But he couldn't. This was too Enzo for Vini. And, of course, that idea could easily cause World War III. And let's face it, nobody wants that.

- This is a dream, isn't it? - Vini asked, suspicious.

- Your call. - said Amanda.

- Vini! Vini! Vini! - Enzo kept shaking him non-stop.

- Holy shit! What, you moron? - Vini was startled awake.

- You're standing there talking to yourself like a fucking nutcase.

- Was I? Shall I be quiet?

- Yes. It's very annoying! I can't stand you whispering and mumbling on the road anymore.

Hold on a minute.

- Road?

- Yes, you dumbass.

- Where the hell am I?

- In Mr. Banks' car. Coming back home.

- How long has it been?

- About thirty minutes.

- Where's Amanda?

- How the hell should I know, you little pissant? You think I have some kind of radar of your ex-girlfriends?

- What happened?

- You fell asleep when we left.

Vini had no memory of these occasions.

- You're a little wet down there. - Enzo reminded.

- Oh, crap.

- Relax, I put a cloth over your mountains so the girls wouldn't notice.

- Thanks, Enzo. But that's the least of my problems. Hey, how was the casino?

- It was a bitch. This law banning gambling is fucking hypocritical! There wasn't a half-naked dancer serving booze!

- That's a shame.

- Did you settle things with Belgium?

- I can't say.

- What about Italy?

- Honestly? I'd rather not think about that at the moment. And honestly? I'm feeling more comfortable this way.

- Atta boy!

But something still needed to be questioned.

- Wait a minute, wait a minute. Did you kiss Belgium?

An uncharacteristic slow reaction of Vini.

- Vini, the flashback was many pages ago! Did you only notice it now?

- Yes, you're right. - Vini concluded. - Let the epilogue of the aliens exploding the Earth roll on.

Many miles away, a metallic, plate-shaped spacecraft was flying over the huge blue planet, dodging some cosmic boulders and terrestrial satellites. Inside the spaceship, two beings with tentacles and one eye were talking about the events of the story in a particular language, but one that will be translated simultaneously.

- So Enzo and Vini cheated on their girlfriends, Vini had a threesome in a dream? - asked one of the creatures.

- It seems so. - The other alien creature replied.

- What do we do now?

- Blow up the earth, obviously.

Then a huge laser beam appeared from underneath the ship. A single shot was fired and went straight on at an incredible speed until it hit the center of California, leading to its destruction, as well as the rest of the planet, which became mere cosmic dust in the immensity of space as we know it.