I sometimes wonder if the dragon killed me and I am in some strange afterlife, because it would make more sense than the stuff I have to constantly deal with

I mean, the first thing I see after turning around is a naked guy throwing a punch and sending the dragon head to the sky. How do you react to that!?

It is impossible!!!!!

I know because I am also a warrior, and there is no way in hell I can behead a dragon with one punch!!!

Hell, my race is full of muscle heads, and the strongest would still need a huge hammer, a jump all his force and proper timing to archive a similar result. And this guy did it by reflex, with an uppercut and casually!!!

How do I know it was reflex and casually? because he had a dumb face after doing it, like he couldn't believe what happened

So I went to talk to the guy

Now that I think about it, it was a horrible idea at the time. If you meet a naked guy that killed a dragon with one punch, getting close to him wouldn't be the smartest idea

Sadly, I was so confused with everything that happened, that my first reaction was to find out wtf is going on

So I approached the guy and I started to asking some questions

And what I got was a simple answer to my question, acid trip

It explained all, the nakedness, his memory lost and inhuman strength

Some people liked to get naked after getting drunk or on drugs and going to places at random, and an overdose would cause memory loss depending on the drug. As for the sudden strength, the drugs probably released his body blocks

By body blocks, I mean the barriers the body puts in our mind so we don't use all our strength and broke our body apart. Some people can do at will and receive a strength boost, with a lot of pain or permanent damage later

Well, at least that is the theory I develop at the time, now I am not so sure

But I digress, the point is, I decided to give the naked guy a hand since he saved my life so I took him to where we set camp a few hours ago.Since the camp had a repellent for monsters in place, we left our stuff there and started to look for the dragon. Since the more eyes the better, we took the dwarf with us, leaving our stuff behind

The place had a river, so the idea was for him to wash off the dragon blood and brains while I looked for some clothes

Luckily, it looked like the dwarf run straight to town, so all our stuff were there. The poor armor dude hat god devoured had some extra clothes on his bag so I "borrow" them (and some other stuff of course). I also didn't forget to "borrow" from the other bags, and then I went back to the naked dude

And what I find was quite a sight. I won't go into the details, but I must admit that I almost gave a thumbs up after seen the spectacle

Still, he looked red as a tomato

In the end, after teasing him a little, we went back to the dragon. The idea was to get the helmet from the snack dude so we could hide his red head

And that's when the second round of insanity started

Seriously, killing a dragon with one punch was insane enough, but peeling the scales with your bare hands!!!!

I am not dragon expert, but that is just wrong. I didn't even knew what to say so I just handed him a knife and let him open his stomach

Of course, I moved really far away after seeing how much of a b-tch it is to take off the blood

He even pouted a little after realizing how far away I was. I would find him cute if it wasn't for the small little detail that he is a monster in human flesh

Well, at least he is fun to tease

The problem is the insane stuff he does from time to time, like SUDDENLY DECIDING TO DRAG A 3 TON DRAGON TO TOWN

Maybe I had a stroke and I am having hallucinations, right? I wish.....

Sadly, I am not that smart, I can't make stuff like this even in my wildest dreams

I even got on the dragon and made him carry me over to town. Am I a bad person for enjoying messing him around?

probably not, it is the least I can do after the serious psychological damage he constantly cause me

Why do I say that? think for a second, what do you think the reaction of the town people would be if someone dragged a dead dragon by hand and suddenly appears in the middle of the town?

I can tell for experience, not good

I admit neither of us thought about it at the time, but if you think for a second, it made a lot of sense. A dragon is one of the most dangerous monsters out there, and some guy is dragging his 3 tons body like nothing

Unauthorized duplication: this tale has been taken without consent. Report sightings.

So basically, a person more dangerous than a dragon is just beside you. Most people would sh-t their pants, ran or pass out in that situation. again, I know for experience since that is exactly what happened

Well, there was also the 4th group, those that had the courage of taking out their weapons and point them at the sudden class 10 threat

"Wwwh- at do you want!?"(???)

The first person to talk looked like the city guards captain, sword at hand and probably sh-t in his pants

As for monster idiot number 1, he was clueless on how to react, and thanks to seeing so much insanity in the last few hours, I kinda got immune to insane situations, so I managed to keep my composure

"Can't you tell? we killed the dragon and we want the reward"(me)

I must say, it took them a while to register what I said, not like my attitude on top of being on the dragon helped

"Liza, it's that you?"(??)

I turned my head to the voice direction and saw the fucking traitor down there with a dumb expression

"Hi! Zodiac! Good to see you alive. I must praise your ability to leave your friends behind without remorse"(me)

I would have done the same if I was in his shoes, but that doesn't mean I will go easy on him. No matter the reasons, I won't forgive someone that stab me in the back, especially if he will dare to ask a share of the reward later

"Don't act like you wouldn't do the same. More importantly, is that Brian? and what happened!?"(zodiac)

Like I said, I would do it too, but he didn't have to point it out....

"Well, you saw brian get devoured himself, so nope. He killed it with my help. Sadly his head is all red because of the dragon blood, so I thought it would be better to wear a helmet so he wouldn't freak out the citizens"(me)

"What is the point if you drag the f-cking dragon to town!!??"(Zodiac)

The dwarf had a point, but I think is still better than having a red head and a dragon than only a dragon

"calm down, besides, what else we could do? The body is worth a lot and the guy over there could carry him, so why not bring him to town?"(me)

"Excuse me"(captain)

Both me, Zodiac and everyone else that was caught in the conversation(half the town I think) turned to the captain, and I could see in his face that he wanted to be anywhere but there

"yes?"(me)

"Can we move the dragon to the barracks? it is causing a commotion"(captain)

Well, I couldn't argue with that, since everyone started to gather around the dragon, so I told the monster down there to take the dragon to where the captain ordered

After that, things went pretty well. After leaving the dragon in the barracks and getting interrogated by captain, we got the reward for finding the dragon, killing it and selling the parts

The reward from finding him was 10% of his subjugation price, wich got divided in 4 ways, within me, Zodiac, Brain's family, and the monster. The elf guy didn't have a family so we give his part to the monster

As for the killing and selling of the dragon, it was 40% for me, 40% for the monster and 10% to the other two. I admit I weasel my way to the 40% but the monster didn't care and I did help. As for the other two. I ended up giving the other two 10% so they wouldn't bitch about it later

Well, Zodiac wanted equal shares, but I managed to cut it to 10%, and since it was a human town and the human died, we gave the same amount to the widow and his kids so we wouldn't look bad

In the end, we got 50 gold coins for killing the dragon,40 for selling it and 5 for the investigation request. Usually, killing a dragon can get you around 10 to 20 gold total, since it is usually done to get his parts, but it is different if he is near a town, since it can kill hundreds or thousands of people

In most subjugations for parts, it is difficult to get the whole dragon, so at most you will get 10 gold worst, and you can double the price if it is a request since it is usually a problem with demand(inflating the price) but since it is the whole dragon, even though 1 kg(2 pounds) of meat is worth a lot, it is hard to carry 3 tons of it, the same with some of its parts

Anyway, we got a lot of money and everyone was happy, so happy ending I guess. I did felt a little guilty for the 40% part, so I decided to give the monster a hand and even get him a name since I could go and call him monster to his face

So that's how I started adventuring with Ned the naked guy, and the reason I may need a psychologist in the future