Levi and Paige peered into the depths of the canyon that cut through the mountainside. Across it were old and ruinous structures built into the opposing cliff face. The broken architecture seemed like something you'd expect from some fantasy story, ancient eleven or dwarven structures. Figures that neither of them could make out shuffled along the cliff side paths, but they already knew what they were.

Grumpy had informed them they were mechanical beings of some sort, but through extensive questioning, Levi and Paige had pieced together what Grumpy had seen. They were golems of all shapes and forms. Levi wondered exactly how that fit into the Realm and the Denizens that resided within, but a more pressing question loomed in front of them.

The fog in the canyon was so thick they couldn't see the bottom. Levi tossed a rock into the depths. It disappeared into the fog and he waited for any sound of contact. None came.

"Paige, were you able to hear anything?" Levi asked.

She shook her head and squinted into the fog. "Nope. There's a huge waterfall dampening most of the noise. But that fog makes things even worse. No worries, I'll send Grumpy down. We'll see how far it is to the bottom and if there's anything dangerous. Give me a sec."

At Paige's words, Grumpy took flight from a nearby tree and settled into an easy spiral into the depths of the fog. Paige's own eyes went white as she watched what Grumpy was seeing through his eyes. Unfortunately, once the crow entered the fog, there wasn't much to see. Even Grumpy had trouble seeing beyond a few feet in front of him. Paige felt the crow's anxiety as he descended.

After more than ten seconds of the crow's descent, the fog cleared into a narrow valley at the base of a waterfall. The river was narrow, yet the force of the water's impact caused the colliding water to billow into fog, which then rose from the base of the falls to cover the lower depths of the canyon.

The depths of the canyon were only illuminated by the light glow of gray fog above and a spattering of strange, glowing fluorescent undergrowth. It was eerie. Yet as the crow cocked its head from side to side, Paige didn't see anything that stood out as threatening. The only thing that stood out as interesting was a narrow path leading up the opposing cliff face with a sign posted at the base.

Paige tried to read the sign, but for some reason, she had trouble focusing on the words well enough to read through the crow's eyes. All she was clearly able to make out were the words, 'Take Heed.'

Paige pulled her vision Grumpy's sight, though she could still sense the crow already flapping desperately to break the fog curtain and ascend to the top again. As her own vision returned, Levi hovered in front of her expectantly.

"So?" he asked, as the white receded from Paige's eyes.

"Eh..." Paige answered with a shrug. "Ninety-nine percent sure it is safe to go down, as long as we find a reliable path. Also, my gut is telling me that all the trouble is trying to go up the other side. There's a path with some kind of warning posted. Pretty sure that's going to be trouble."

"So, you thinking it's better to go around... or...?" Levi asked.

Paige shrugged in return. "If I'm being honest, I think we've been avoiding risks for too long. I mean... I know we have to be careful. I'll never forget what happened, either. But it feels like... since then... We've just kind of avoided anything really challenging. So, I want to check it out. At least go down there and read what that sign says. Maybe explore some." Paige met Levi's eyes. "We'll have to form a plan, and definitely play things safe, but I think we've been avoiding any potential danger for way too long."

Levi's brow tightened into a knot as he stared back at her. Then he sagged. His head dropped and his shoulders slumped. "I... I want to tell you that you're wrong. That we've just been being smart. But, I'd be lying." Levi looked back up at Paige, his mouth set into a grim line. "I have been playing things safe... making sure we both play things safe. You know why. But, I think you're right. Maybe it is time to take a little more risk."

Paige smiled at Levi. "Really? You mean it? You think I'm right?"

Levi nodded. "But, if we're going to start taking risks... I have to start by taking my own risk first. I think it is about time. Plus, I've been falling behind. For whatever reason, I can't seem to figure out how to get the flow Skills for Go, but there is something I've been putting off..."

Paige's smile faded. "You're serious? Are you sure? You're sure you're ready?"

Levi shrugged and nodded at the same time. "I think I'm as ready as I can be. My Core is packed full. I've actually been burning off essence by funneling it into my Go, just to stop it from becoming any denser. Lately... lately, it feels like I either need to break through and upgrade my Core or something is going to happen on its own. And I'd rather not wait to find out what happens then."

Paige's face grew concerned.

"Paige," Levi continued with a soft smile. "Don't worry so much. I'm ready. I didn't know what I was in for last time. I do now. I'm ready. I have my Ideal prepared. If we're going to start taking more risks together, I need to take this one first, on my own. I can't even keep up with you anymore. You can't ask me to go into the unknown, to trust myself to have your back, to take that kind of risk... if I can't take this risk on my own first."

Seconds stretched on as Paige's concerned face studied Levi's expression. Then, tears pooled in her eyes and she reached out and grasped Levi's forearm. "I'll be here the whole time. You make it through, okay. Promise."

Levi forced a smile. "I promise."

----

As Levi sat to meditate in the more traditional lotus position, he felt hyperaware of every sensation as he settled in. Everything seemed to actively prevent him from focusing. Levi knew this was his own mind working against him, afraid of what might happen, so he pressed on, narrowing his focus, until fell into his mindscape.

Paige fidgeted with the coin in her pocket as she watched Levi fall into meditation. She ran her thumb over the face of the token, feeling the coin's relief beneath her skin, knowing it was Levi's face she traced. She had tried to put on a brave face for Levi, but she couldn't help but be worried.

The last time he'd upgraded his Core, he had nearly died. Though everyone had kind of known something had made the Core upgrade dangerous and nearly fatal for Levi, he had only told Paige the details of what had happened. He had explained it even more since the first time they discussed it. All understanding what had happened did was make her even more anxious.

So, even as she looked on, confident he would succeed, her stomach twisted in knots from Paige worrying about him. Not only due to the possibility of failure, but because even Levi's success could carry a price. Even if he came through the Core upgrade without ever risking his life, even if things went smoothly, Paige understood he was entering hell.

Levi stared at the Core inside his meditative landscape. He really had waited too long. It was almost impossible to pack in more essence. His rings were bright and dense in their slow orbits. His core was like a beautiful, dark green black hole, now, tossing off wisps of white, yellow, and sometimes purple essence as it tried to take in what it could. But it was at it's limit.

Levi focused on his Ideal. He'd thought long and hard about it, yet it had always been Paige's words that gave him the assurance it was the right thing. Her words echoed in his mind, through the cosmos of his self, as his resolve firmed.

'Hey, that sounds like a pretty good Ideal, for the next time you need one.'

Levi focused on that Ideal as he willed the gyroscopic spin of his Core and its rings to move faster, and then faster, and then even faster still. Then he pushed for them to collapse and create a new Core. This time the pressure he felt needed little urging. Before he even realized it was happening, he felt the Core folding in on itself and pulling him in with it.

For a moment, Levi resisted. The way his Core seemed to take over and lead the process, pulling away from his own guidance, scared him. Yet, it felt right in a way his last Core upgrade hadn't.

So Levi let go, relinquishing control, and everything went black.

And Paige watched on. Though Levi did not begin seizing, it was still obvious when the process began. She watched as his body went rigid in its lotus position, and then seemed to slowly settle into a relaxed position that was even more perfect than Levi himself could consciously maintain for more than a few minutes. Wisps of white energy moved along his skin in the way Paige had only seen when Levi was using immense amounts of his Go. She bit her lip as she looked on.

'He's got this,' Grumpy reassured her.

Then Paige heard the gust of Big'un's mighty breath beside her. 'Crow friend Grumpy is right, human friend Paige. Human friend Levi will get through this.' The white buffalo nudged Paige's shoulder with his snout before turning his gaze back to Levi. 'Have faith, little friend. Levi will succeed. I only wonder if I shall still call him 'human friend' when he returns.'

Paige was about to thank the two for the reassurance before the buffalo's last words twisted her stomach into knots. "What do you mean?" She asked, turning to the buffalo.

----

Levi, stood in the living room of a childhood home from his earliest memories. He recognized the scene, but it was frozen. For a second, he saw it from his perspective as a child, then he was looking over the scene as an outsider looking in.

The perspective shift was jarring and strange to experience. The first perspective was his own memory. Everything seemed so scary and out of his control. Inside the house, a crappy mobile home really, the lights were off. But the headlights of a vehicle were glaring through the front windows. They weren't enough to illuminate the entire room, only to make the darkness a little scarier. Through one of those front windows, his dad was halfway into the house, climbing inside. Levi's mother stood in front of the window, frozen still in time, bent at the waist with the force with which she was screaming at his dad.

And Levi, little five-year-old Levi, stood behind his mother. He stood straight and held a broom in his hand.

As his vision shifted to his new perspective, looking in from the outside, the image of his five-year-old self, looking so certain and confident made the current Levi wonder if that had been the last time he'd ever felt so brave.

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"Well, I don't know about that," Rick's voice came from beside Levi. "I think you may be selling yourself a little short."

"Hey, Rick." Levi said casually. "How much trouble am I in, this time?" Levi turned to look at the man he knew was his bonded Spirit. Rick's face was half concealed in the shadows of the dark room, only illuminated by the headlights shining through the window.

"Oh... I'd say not too much. You did really well. Your Ideal was very fully conceptualized when you began the Core upgrade." Rick gripped Levi's shoulder. "I am proud of you for that. I think we're going to make it through this just fine. But..."

"But?" Levi asked.

"Well, it's still not going to be a fun ride." Rick patted Levi on the shoulder. "We're going to be okay, though. You ready?"

Levi gave a small laugh and gestured to the scene before them. "Yeah, I guess. I mean, if this is it, there is nothing to worry about. I've played this scene out in my head hundreds of times. It doesn't bother me."

Rick shook his head and returned Levi's gaze with sad eyes. "This is just the warm-up round. I should know, I was the one who put the collection together for you. Been working on it for over a month now, waiting for you to upgrade your Core."

Levi's expression became more somber. "How bad is it?"

Rick shrugged. "I think it is mostly stuff you've already got a pretty good handle on. But some of it is a little rough. It still had to fit your Ideal, after all."

Levi reached out and squeezed Rick's shoulder in response. "I trust you. Truly. So let's just get this over with."

Rick gave Levi a sad smile and a nod. "Together, then?"

"Yeah, together," Levi agreed.

And then, like someone pressed play, the scene began.

Levi's dad tried to climb through the window. His mother kept trying to push Levi's dad back out, even going as far as hitting him. As his two parents screamed back and forth at each other, Levi realized he couldn't understand anything they said. Their screams were loud in his mind, every word shaking deep within him, yet it was like he was watching a silent movie. Their lips moved, he saw their body language and the intensity of their argument. But all his ears heard was a worldless roar, like an oncoming train or an approaching tornado.

Then, as Levi's five-year-old self stepped forward, broom raised high, the roaring in his ears subsided. The deafening noise gave way to the silence that only existed in the darkest hours of the night. His parents stopped screaming to turn their attention to him. For a moment, the world was still and quiet, and everything felt like it would be okay.

Then Levi's dad spoke. "If you hit me with that, I'll kill you, you little bastard."

"If you hit me with that, I'll kill you, you little bastard."

"If you hit me with that, I'll kill you, you little bastard."

"If you hit me with that, I'll kill you, you little bastard."

"If you hit me with that, I'll kill you, you little bastard."

"If you hit me with that, I'll kill you, you little bastard."

The scene played out in loops in the background, but those words repeated over and over in the forefront of Levi's mind, echoing on and on, layered over everything else he remembered about the event. This was the memory, this was exactly the way it lived on inside Levi's mind. He was literally just living through the memory as it had always played out in his head.

No big deal, really.

Then it all froze again.

"Sorry, but all I have to work with are your memories." Rick's grip tightened on Levi's shoulder.

"I get that. But I don't understand why this memory. I mean, I'm pretty much at peace with it. Not sure what it has to do with my Ideal," Levi answered.

In the darkness, Rick gave Levi a grim smile. "Yeah you do. You know."

"Oh." Levi said as he met Rick's eyes. "Oh. Oh fuck."

With a nod from Rick, Levi suddenly stood somewhere else. Levi didn't even need a second to realize where he was. His stomach knotted at the thought of what was coming.

--

Kids ran around him playing in the dirt driveway. Levi knew one of the kids was his younger self, but he didn't bother looking to find himself. He looked up to the tiny, run-down mobile home in front of him, set in the middle of the poorest part of the poorest county in Texas. The treeline of a deep east Texas National Forest stretched out behind it. In front of the trailer, he saw several adults. He vaguely recognized them. One was his mother. But his focus was locked onto his stepfather.

The feelings of that day churned inside Levi as he watched. He remembered how he'd always had a bad feeling about his new stepfather. He had always felt like things weren't actually going to be as great as his mother had told them they would be. Yet, until this moment, Levi didn't have any real reason to believe that fear was anything more than something that would pass as time went on.

Even in this moment, replaying the memory, Levi couldn't remember exactly what his stepbrother had done. He couldn't even pick his stepbrother or himself out among the other children. But, as suddenly as it had always seemed when Levi remembered back to this moment, his stepfather went from laughing with the other adults to standing from his lawn chair in a rage.

Levi watched as his stepfather demanded that his stepbrother go to him as he pulled off his belt.

Levi had been familiar with being spanked back then. He didn't like spankings, but they weren't so bad. Yet, something about that moment had made him uneasy in way Levi couldn't explain. Suddenly, everything had felt wrong, like something terrible was going to happen.

Then, Levi's stepfather had grabbed onto his new stepbrother's arm. His stepbrother was so young, maybe only four years old. Yet the belt came with terrifying speed and force. For a long time, far too long, it did not stop. As his younger stepbrother tried to escape, tried to block with his free arm, crying out for it to stop... Levi's stepfather only became angrier.

And Levi watched on. He begged and prayed in his heart for it to stop. After far longer than it should have lasted, after it had finally ended, Levi still stared on, completely frozen. It was the moment he realized why he always had a bad feeling. And as the terror settled in, Levi had realized that he had just seen what his new future looked like.

Levi had never forgotten the sinking feeling he had in his stomach as his terrifying new existence became reality before his eyes.

"Enough of this," Rick said with a light pat on Levi's back, and things went black again.

--

Then they were standing in the hall of his dad's home, watching his stepmom and dad scream at each other as she left. Levi's other step-siblings, his stepmom's kids, were already packed into her car.

Levi watched on. He couldn't remember exactly why, but his mom had sent him to live with his dad, because Levi and his stepdad 'just couldn't get along' as she had put it. That had only been a couple months before his dad and his stepmom separated. He remembered wondering if it was his fault.

"Okay...okay..." Levi said loudly, shooting a glare at Rick.

Rick met Levi's gaze. "Okay. This is all a little too much. And I think the point was made. I'll cut this part short and get to the point."

--

Things went black again. And Levi was sitting across from his dad at their kitchen table. Levi's dad was clearly pissed off and stressed. He had also sobered up a lot since Levi had wrecked his truck.

"I'm sorry, Dad. I..." Levi heard his thirteen-year-old self say.

His Dad raised his hand to quiet Levi. "No, son. It isn't your fault. It's mine. I shouldn't have made you drive. You didn't know what you were doing."

Levi had waited for the punishment to come, but none ever had.

"Yeah. He really was trying, wasn't he," Rick commented.

--

Then more memories came in a flood. They were all moments where Levi's Dad was just doing his best to be a better father.

--

Then he was sitting across from his stepfather as a grown man, after Levi had gotten out of the Marine Corps.

Levi watched as the often cruel and abusive man from his childhood stared at him with tears in his eyes and delivered his apology.

"I-I'm sorry... for the way I was to you kids when you were growing up. I wish I could go back and do so many things differently. I hate how much I messed you all up. And I'm proud of how you turned out, but I know it was despite what I did, not because of it. I'm sorry. I want you to know, I love you, and I am sorry for everything I did and for how I raised you."

Levi heard himself speak, and somehow actually mean it, too. "It's okay. I turned out alright. You saying that means a lot to me. And I love you, too, Bill."

Levi watched his stepfather's tears spill over.

"Have you talked to your mom? Is she doing okay? Has she said anything about me?" Bill asked.

Levi's heart grew cold as he realized that none of it had been about him and Bill's relationship at all. "Nah. I don't really talk to her much anymore," Levi answered.

----

Then Levi was sitting across from Rick. A plate of buffalo wings and a tall draft beer sat between them. They were at a table at a restaurant Levi used to go to at least once per week. Levi would sit there, eat wings and drink beer alone, then he'd walk to the movie theater nearby, watch a movie and sober up. Afterwards, he'd drive home. All of it alone.

"But why?" Rick asked, staring across the table at Levi.

"I get the point, Rick. We don't have to do this." The anger Levi tried to restrain still saturated every word.

"Oh yeah, we do," Rick argued. "You and I both know you were turning out to be just like them, and would have if it wasn't for that."

"Well, considering what happened, who's to say I ended up any better after all?" Levi growled.

"It was a horrible tragedy. And I won't give you the free pass everyone else did. I agree with you. But that's the point, isn't it. What you did, what you said... You have already accepted that it was on you. You've moved forward. You made it become the thing that stopped you from becoming them." Rick stared Levi in the eyes.

"Then why? Why do I have to live through that again?" Levi demanded.

"Because that was the event that formed the Ideal within you. It was when you became everything you were raised to be, then saw yourself and was disgusted by it." Rick said calmly. "It was the moment you turned your back on that and chose your own way forward."

"So, why do I have to do that again? You still haven't explained. Why? Why do I have to re-live the moment I hated myself the most?" Levi demanded.

Rick sighed deeply and folded his hands. "Levi, this step is harder than the first. You nearly died on the first step. And I didn't lie, you are in really good shape this time. But, as much as it is a great Ideal, you need to fully crystalize your Ideal in a way you didn't the first time. Doing it in the exact moment the Ideal formed inside you is the best way. You can try without doing it, but..." Rick met Levi's eyes. "I'd rather go through your first Core upgrade again than attempt it."

After a moment of staring into Rick's unflinching gaze, Levi sighed, closed his eyes, and steeled himself. "I guess we should get this over with, then."

"Good." Rick patted Levi's hand. "You need to center yourself on your Ideal, now. You want to keep it in your focus the entire time. Hold on to it. As we approach the end of the memory, where the Ideal aligns with the moment it was formed, it will get easier. But you have to hold on to it the best you can through every moment to have the best success."

When Levi only nodded in response, Rick started the final step of Levi's second Step.

'No matter what I have been through, I am responsible for my own actions,' Levi sharpened his mind into that single thought, using every bit of resolve he had.

----

Paige had watched over Levi the entire time. For the most part, it had been uneventful. There was a time or two he had groaned or moaned, quietly, and once that he'd cried out softly. Overall, she had been relieved as the minutes ticked by without anything alarming happening with Levi.

Paige had slowly become so relaxed as she waited that when Levi suddenly cried out in a wail, it set her immediately on edge.

Her eyes locked onto his face. He wore a look of anguish she'd never seen on anyone, tears streamed down his cheeks, and his teeth were gritted. Then his wail turned into a growl of anger. He began to breathe rapid, heavy breaths. Paige didn't know how aware he was of what was happening as he bit into his own lip and she saw blood begin to flow into his unkempt beard.

Paige squeezed the coin she'd been absently fidgeting with in her pocket. She knew she wasn't supposed to use it, but...

Then, before Paige could make a decision one way or the other, Levi relaxed. His rapid breathing began to slow into the rhythm he had when he meditated. The white wisps dancing across his skin suddenly intensified. After a few moments of dancing brightly across the surface of his skin, Levi inhaled deeply, and the wisps were quickly drawn into his body.

Then, for a long moment, Levi was completely still. Nothing, not wisps of energy nor even his breath stirred. Paige watched on in anticipation. Finally, Levi released the breath he'd been holding in and his skin burst with bright white energy. Paige watched as the white energy condensed into new, more substantial wisps than before. But, before Paige could truly examine the difference, they began slowly sinking below Levi's skin and back into his body.

Levi sat stone still for several minutes after the change, and Paige started to get worried. She didn't like interrupting his meditation, but out of concern she decided to try to rouse him. She crouched, bringing herself eye level to Levi. As she extended her hand to shake his shoulder, his eyes shot open.

She tripped over her own feet as she threw herself away from the pure white glow of Levi's eyes. That was what they had looked like when he had been in his battle trance. Yet, as Paige recovered in a roll and looked at Levi cautiously, he only cocked his head as in confusion.

Slowly, he looked down at his body, moving his arms as if examining them, then back up to Paige. "I didn't attack you again or anything did I?" He asked in a way that was so oblivious it had to be the real Levi.

Paige tackled him in a hug as relief flooded through her.