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The Beast and the Sage
23 - Devour Deez Nuts

23 - Devour Deez Nuts

Kenny stood behind a tree, snare drum strapped in front of him, drumsticks in hand.

He was just within hearing range of the group of raiders.

He looked to Joe. Joe gave him a nod and then sprinted away, flanking the camp. That's where the bulk of the assault group would assemble.

Kenny had his own job to do. He looked far to the opposite side of the camp and pointed.

Triggering Throw Voice and Backup Vocals, Kenny infused intent into the Abilities. About 50 meters away, where he'd pointed, he heard a tenor voice belting out an insulting, if childish, song at the raiders. The lyrics were awful, but it did the job.

Kenny heard the raiders scrambling to chase down whoever was singing the terrible tune.

He triggered Drop a Beat while drumming a quick rythym on his snare. He drummed just long enough that the beat would seemlessly play and then took off back toward the safe zone. The beat kept pounding away, right where he'd left it.

After he'd repeated this process a couple of times, he ran to join the assault group. He hoped that it would be enough of a distraction to scatter some of the raiders just long enough.

----

Joe eyed his group but said nothing. They knew the plan.

Tony was bouncing on his toes, katars in hand, face blank.

The three Joe recognized from the sparring pits all seemed to have similar looks of determination, though the middle-aged woman's eyes seemed to carry some rage.

And... Iara stood with a determination, katana in hand. She'd joined them just before their group had headed out. She'd apologized for freezing up during the attack on the safezone and swore she'd be able to fight.

Joe had let her join.

She'd frozen up. It happened. Marines would often freeze up the first time things popped off, and someone would have to shake or knock them out of it. Most snapped out of it and were able to do their jobs. Then they never froze up again. Some couldn't be shaken out of it.

Joe just hoped she didn't freeze again.

Grace seemed to be fiddling with a braid of vine with a crow feather attached to the end, making a last-minute adjustment. The crow on her shoulder gave a quiet squak. Grace caught Joe's eye.

"What's the news on the rescue team?"

"They're on the way here, but Maddy refused to go with the escort, so they're not moving as fast."

"She's coming with them? I mean, we could use her, but is she in any shape to be fighting?"

"She has more reason than any of us to be here." Grace said.

"You know how far out they are?"

"I'd say 10 minutes. But that's a guess." The crow squawked on her shoulder again, relaying the distant crow calls. "Hold on... Paige passed a message. She's saying the bald man is extremely dangerous. Be careful."

"We kind of knew that. Still, she's sending the message for a reason. We'll have to wait as long as we can for them, but that can't be very long. Kenny has already started his distraction. How long do you think the crows can buy us?"

Grace scatched beneath her witch's hat. "You think I know the answer to that any better than you, just because I have a crow familiar? They'll cause confusion as long as they can, but it won't take long for the raiders to figure out what's going on." Grace answered.

"Damn."

After a minute or two, Kenny finally made it to the assault group. He was breathless but unharmed.

"Grace, send the crows," Joe instructed.

She nodded, and the crow called into the forest. Whatever means she used to communicate with the crow didn't involve speech, unlike Paige.

"Kenny, did everything go as planned?" Joe asked.

Kenny gave a thumbs up, still breathing hard.

"Good job. Catch your breath. We've got a few minutes," Turning to the group, Joe spoke. "I know we're outnumbered. But we have a plan. Stick to it, and we'll be okay. Remember, when I raise my fist, close your eyes. After they're blinded, take as many down as you can. The real fight starts after that."

Stolen content warning: this tale belongs on Royal Road. Report any occurrences elsewhere.

Joe mostly received grim nods in return.

Joe waited a few more minutes, listening at the faint sounds of chaos from the bandits.

And then he gave the signal.

The group moved fast. As Joe exited the shadows and entered the enemies temporary camp, at least ten faces turned to them as one.

Kenny started playing something behind them as Joe raised his fist. Joe closed his eyes and triggered his ability, Light of Redemption.

He could still see the light through his eyelids.

As he opened his eyes and charged forward, he caught the grinning gaze of the leader, still relaxed and lounging by the fire.

The bald man simply raised a hand and snapped his fingers. As he did, the other bandits in his group seemed to melt into their own shadows, which streamed back to the leader. It was as if he'd just absorbed them like a sponge.

As Joe came to a stop in confusion, everyone else halted behind him.

"I hoped someone would come tonight. I wasn't sure if anyone would have the balls. But when that group attacked my camp and took the girls back, I knew tonight wouldn't be disappointing. My name's Eric. My class is Devouring Slayer."

Joe almost decided to charge right then, but his instincts told him not to. How did the man, Eric, know his camp had been attacked? And what the hell happened to the rest of his men?

Joe's group shifted behind him. The plan was out the window.

-----

"Levi, they've already started the attack. We need to hurry," Paige said. She led the way through the darkness again.

"Fuck... we're going to have to leave you two," Levi called out behind him.

"Go. I'll stay with Maddy," David called out.

"We'll...catch up," Maddy said between breaths.

Paige pushed her speed to the limit, her own lungs burning.

Levi could have outran her, but he needed her to lead the way.

They both just hoped they made it in time.

-----

"Ah," Eric continued, finally standing from his relaxed position. "I see you're confused about my men. Most of them are simply shadows of their former selves. My shadows. I'm glad I left one behind, just in case. It seems he's enjoying a nice walk back to your safezone as we speak."

At the man's words, Joe realized the girls were still in danger. "Attack!" Joe yelled, rushing forward.

Joe thrust his sword at Eric, but Eric just stepped back out of the way.

Iara immediately followed with a devastating strike with her katana, but Eric somehow deflected it and kicked Iara so hard that she was sent sprawling more than five meters away.

Tony jumped in with a flurry of blows, and yet Eric seemed to step through them as he'd done against the young dual wielder in the safezone.

Knowing what followed, Joe lept forward and slammed the edge of his shield at Eric's head.

Eric was able to spin out of the way and slam his mace into Joe's face. Joe's Ability One Second Chance fully absorbed the attack, and Eric jumped back three meters, dodging out of the way of Iara and Tony's next assault.

The three volunteers from the sparring pit had flanked Eric and struck at him from three sides, but Eric somehow managed to avoid the damage, spun and gave his mace a wide swing, sending the three flying with a shockwave.

Grace used the spell Blood Bargain on herself and watched as small amount of health return to two of the trio as it was drained from her own health pool. It looked like it was too late for one of them.

Turning her gaze to Eric, she used her Evil Eye skill.

Eric misstepped his dodge as Tony plunged a katar into his chest. The katar barely penetrated before Eric slammed an elbow into Tony's nose, sending him backward ten meters, where he fell limp, katars falling from his hands.

Kenny was drumming a beat and singing now, and everyone felt life begin to return to them.

Eric noticed Kenny and threw his mace at the bard, putting him down, too.

Joe was already on Eric again, with Iara close behind. Joe thrust his sword at Eric, making him dodge back.

Iara came down with her katana in vicious slash, but Eric sidestepped, stomping the blade into the ground and wrenching it free from Iara's grip. His backhand sent Iara tumbling, where she lay still.

Eric kicked the katana into his hand and deflected Joe's incoming blow. Joe went stumbling sideways and rolled to avoid the expected follow-up attack.

It didn't come.

As Joe got to his feet, he noticed Eric standing casually, staring at the katana in his hand. Joe glanced at Grace, who seemed to be creeping out of notice, but she only shook her head. She looked as if her elderly body wanted to give out already.

"You know, I never understood the fascination with swords, " Eric said, conversationally. "Sure, they're deadly, but bashing someone's head in is just as good."

Joe lunged at Eric with his sword, but the attack was lazily slapped aside, and Eric retreated another couple of meters. Joe attacked again, but this time felt Iara's katana slap the side of his head.

Joe's vision went white, and his ears rang, but he could still hear Eric's voice.

"I have to give you credit. You guys were pretty strong for having that nice cushy safezone. I wasn't given that luxury. Nope. Violent criminal. Murderer. The system labeled me. Both systems, actually."

Joe tried to get to his feet, but Eric kicked him hard in the ribs. Joe was sent rolling away.

"Never had much of a choice," Eric continued. "Man, if you knew half the shit my dad put me through growing up... how could anyone blame me for killing the sorry bastard?

And then here comes the new system, and there I sit rotting in prison. Did I get a new chance? Nope, but I sure as fuck got to hear about yours."

Eric delivered another kick to Joe's ribs, though Joe wasn't able to stand anymore.

"Nope. Just two choices, become a monster in this new world, a literal monster, or get thrown out without any safezone to fend for myself."

Eric stomped Joe's back. Then he put a boot into his neck, pinning Joe down.

"Well, I guess you know what I chose. My class, Devouring Slayer, came with some really cool abilities. Didn't take long before I'd killed most of my fellow inmates and had taken some of theirs."

Eric pressed harder on Joe's neck.

Joe triggered one last-ditch ability. "Fucking... pussy... making... excuses for... yourself. Devour...deez nuts," Joe choked out.

"You know, I'm really going to enjoy that ability you have to completely absorb an attack... Well...good talk." And then Eric thrust Iara's sword downward, through Joe's heart.