Paige wandered for a while. She was hurt that Levi had pushed her away, but she also knew he was hurting. As much as she wanted to hold onto that hurt and stay angry, she couldn't. He didn't even need to explain it to her. He was blaming himself. She just hoped that he wouldn't take too long to pull his head out of his ass.

Still, Levi's words about Paige being the only one who hadn't really lost anything nagged in the back of her mind. She couldn't help but feel like what he'd said had some weight. She wanted to know what he had meant.

'Hey, do you know where Joe is right now?' Paige asked Grumpy through telepathic communication.

'Aye, miss. He's out at the old hard sparring pit,' Grumpy answered.

'He's sparring?' Paige asked. She knew Joe had always been active in the sparring pits, but she really hadn't expected him to get back to it so soon. Especially with his new Captain position and the responsibilities it came with.

'No, miss. He's just sitting. It is only him out there, right now.'

Paige almost decided right then to not go and speak with Joe. Trying to talk to Levi had gone wrong, and half of that was probably because he just needed to be alone. She didn't want to push Joe in the same way. But Joe wasn't Levi. She doubted he'd get angry with her, even if he didn't want to talk.

It only took a few minutes for Paige to make her way to the hard spar pits. For some reason, perhaps nerves or fear of what Joe may say, she snuck her way to the edge of the clearing. Paige was glad she did. As she approached, she saw Joe facing her direction. He was on his knees, head bowed, mumbling.

She tried to pick up on his words, but she couldn't make them out even with her Enhanced Hearing. She considered using her Ability to enhance her hearing with the Bobcat form but chose not to. It seemed disrespectful, and she felt bad for trying to eavesdrop in the first place.

Then she noticed Joe's arm was missing and felt an emptiness in her stomach. She saw what Joe had lost and couldn't help but feel responsible. She could only remember a few glimpses of the fight from while she was in her rage, but that in itself made her feel like it was partially her fault. She took a step back, deciding she really didn't want to talk to Joe after all.

Joe's head suddenly lifted, and he stood. "Whoever's there, come on out," he boomed with his authoritative voice.

Paige thought about bolting, but before she could, Joe called out again.

"Come on out, Paige."

She froze for a second and then stepped around the tree. "How'd you know it was me. Actually, how'd you even notice me at all?"

Joe gave Paige a genuine, if somewhat subdued, smile. "I was really mostly guessing someone was there. It felt like I was being watched. Guess I'm a little on edge. But, when I noticed the extra crows, rather than just the one who's been following me..." Joe pointed to a few in the surrounding trees. "I figured it was you lurking."

"Joe... I'm sorry about your-"

Joe cut Paige off. "I know. It ain't your fault, though, so don't worry about it." Joe moved back and took a seat on the log bench behind him. He gestured for Paige to take a seat next to him. "Guessing you talked to Levi?" He added as she settled down next to him.

Paige nodded, trying to keep tears from spilling out again.

"Don't take anything he said personally. He's in a bad place right now." Joe patted her on the back. Then he turned to look at her. "But he didn't say anything too out of line, did he? I'll go straighten him out if he did."

Paige shook her head. "No, not really." She hesitated before continuing. "Said I didn't lose anything and everyone else did. I don't think he meant it to hurt me, but..." Paige looked at Joe. "I wanted to know. I mean, I get it with Maddy, and David is probably a wreck right now. But I didn't know about your arm. I still don't know what Levi lost, either."

Joe nodded. "Not exactly sure what Levi lost, either. I have some ideas based on some of what I heard, but not my place to say in the first place." Joe squeezed Paige's shoulder gently. "But I don't think it matters. I don't think Levi is actually that concerned with what he lost. You know, you were the first thing he asked about when he woke up. That tells me what he was really concerned with, right there."

Paige nodded, but the tears were pouring again.

"Hey," Joe continued. "Cut him slack and don't get upset that he wants a little space right now. He hasn't even gotten the chance to sort out his own thoughts and guilt about everything yet. He'll work it out. Then you'll be the first person he wants to talk to, trust me."

"Thanks, Joe." After a long silence, Paige took a shuddering breath, and her tears found a new well from which to spring. "How'd she die? I thought... I thought your skill saved her."

"It did. The first time." Joe leaned back and looked toward the treetops at the edge of the clearing, his eyes losing their focus. "When we realized you and Levi hadn't gotten away, we came back for you. That's when the troll got my arm. Then... Maddy. I'm not exactly sure how. David won't say much, and I'll be damned if I press him on it. He's already on the edge, as it is."

"That's s-so fucked up. She died t-twice." Paige was sobbing, now.

"Yeah." Joe said. "I guess when it is your time to go, it's just your time, and there's nothing that can stop it."

Paige tried to get herself together. She felt anger at Joe's words and latched onto the feeling to pull herself from the grief. "You believe that bullshit?" She asked, regretting how bitter it came out even as she said it.

Joe shrugged. His gaze still stared out at the treetops, but Paige saw the sadness on his face. "Kind of, I guess. I sure would like it to be true."

"What was that? When I got here, were you praying?" Paige asked. Her tears were finally subsiding.

Joe looked at Paige and nodded. "Yeah, I was praying."

"I never took you as the religious type."

Joe stared back at Paige for a long second, then shrugged. "Well, I'm not all that great of a Christian, so I guess I don't go around talking about it. And, if people want to hear preaching, they'll go to church. But I believe, yeah."

Paige's mouth hung open for a moment, brows furrowed. Then she spread her arms and gestured around. "Even after all this?"

Joe scratched at his beard. "Yeah, guess so. I was always too stupid to understand all of it anyway. Now, there's just more that I don't understand. But, let's say... believing saved me. More than once. Through some of the worst things. Those are stories for another day... but yeah, I'll keep on believing."

Anger flared up in Paige, but she pushed it down, knowing Joe was just being genuine and open. Her answer still had more bite than she would've liked. "Well, sorry, but I just can't. I don't think I ever really did, and I definitely don't understand how you do now."

"That's fair. I'm not trying to convince you that you should," Joe offered a gentle smile and a light squeeze of her shoulder.

Taken a little off her guard, Paige asked a question she had not meant voice. "So what were you praying for?"

Stolen content alert: this content belongs on Royal Road. Report any occurrences.

"For you and Levi and David to be okay after all this. Mostly David, to be honest. He's in a really bad place. I'm worried. Have you gone to see Maddy's body--to pay your respects, yet?"

Paige shook her head and looked down, trying to push down another round of tears.

"You should," Joe continued. "But when you do, be careful of David. He won't leave her. And... I don't think he'll get violent... but he's been lashing out. Just keep that in mind when you talk to him."

Paige just nodded, still staring at the ground.

"Hey," Joe said. He waited until Paige looked up at him before continuing, making sure she was looking him in the eye. "Sometimes bad things happen no matter how hard you fight to stop them. I'm sorry. It will be okay, though, in time. I promise."

Paige wrapped her arms around Joe's neck in a hug. "Thanks, Joe."

Joe patted her back. "I'm glad you're okay, kid." As Paige pulled away, Joe caught her eye again. "You should go see Maddy. Say your goodbyes. I know it's hard. But trust me, you need to. But... don't freak out about her...condition. I don't want to say more than that, for now. I have my reasons. Just know, there's something wrong about it, but she is really gone."

Paige just nodded as her throat tightened, and the tears began again.

----

Paige felt a little better after she left Joe. Maybe it was his words. Maybe it was just that she'd been able to cry and get more out. She decided to take Joe's advice and made her way to the cabin that housed Maddy's body.

She tried not to hurry but found herself at the cabin far too soon, anyway. As she approached, she saw David's expression. She stared David down as he sneered at her. Joe had been right. Without even speaking, David's demeanor, the way he held himself, the look of hate in his hollow eyes... it told a story of how changed David was.

"David, I'm-"

"Shut up. Don't fucking say it." His voice was cold.

She nodded. "Can I... I just want to say goodbye."

David stared at Paige like he didn't even know her, like they hadn't spent time bonding and growing close. He gave her the look you'd give a salesman at your doorstep... if that salesman was trying to sell manure in the middle of a shitstorm. Then, to Maddy's surprise, David jerked his head back to gesture she enter the cabin.

"Yeah. Guess Maddy would want you to," was all David said.

"Thank-" Paige started.

"Don't." David raised a finger at Paige. "Just don't. Just go say your goodbyes."

Paige nodded and slipped past David, entering the cabin. Her chest squeezed tight as she opened the door. She was afraid of what she was going to see, but knew she had to do it anyway. Joe's words had only added to that anxiety.

Paige wasn't expecting Maddy's appearance. She was expecting a mangled, bloated body... maybe even for the head to not be attached. She was expecting to barely be able to recognize Maddy. She'd only been to a few funerals in her life, but the dead never looked like they had in life.

She was not expecting Maddy laying on the bed like some perfect sleeping beauty. She was more beautiful now than she'd even been in life, with a peaceful expression on her face. There wasn't a single blemish or scar. There wasn't a single pimple or speck of dirt. Even her robes were pristine. The only thing that Paige didn't recognize was the full head of long, lustrous brown hair. Someone had even brushed it, Paige suspected David.

"She's beautiful, huh." David's voice came from behind Paige.

Paige looked over her shoulder, not turning fully. She couldn't speak, so she just nodded.

"Well, at least I have that," David said. Then he turned to leave. "Say goodbye, but make it fast," he added before closing the door behind him.

After he left, Paige grabbed Maddy's hand and squeezed. It was soft and limp in her grip. It was warm. For a moment, Paige thought Maddy was still alive. She quickly checked for Maddy's pulse. There wasn't one. Paige had no idea what was going on, but she was damned sure going to ask.

Then she focused on Maddy, just holding her hand. Seconds stretched on as she tried to think of what to say.

"I just..." Paige started. For a moment, that's all she had in her, the only words that she could think to say, headed in a direction she didn't know. Then the words fell from her without thought. "We were just starting to be good friends. Why did I have to hate you when we first got here? I wasted so much time we could have had because all I saw was a spoiled, rich bitch. I-I'm so... sorry."

Paige's tears came unbidden and uncontrolled then. But she had more to say, and somehow managed to keep talking through her tight throat, snot, and tears.

"You were super funny, you know. I wish I could just sit around a fire bullshitting with you one more time. And you were so, so beautiful. I felt a little jealous about that at first. And you were still such a kind and thoughtful person. You were a better person than I am, by so, so much. And I somehow thought I could judge you when I first met you. I hate that I did that."

For a few minutes, Paige stood sniffling, just looking down at Maddy's face. Then she said goodbye. "Your cooch didn't really stink that day. But I'm still glad I said it did, because I always smile when I think about that moment with you and your hilarious response." Paige leaned over Maddy, giving her a gentle hug. "I wish we'd have gotten to be real best friends. I am going to miss you so much."

After enough time had passed to feel awkward for hugging a dead woman, Paige finally straightened herself. For a while, long enough to pull herself together and stop crying, she just stood holding Maddy's hand. When she finally felt composed, Paige gently laid Maddy's hand at her side in a relaxed position.

Then Paige forced her herself to turn away and walk out of the cabin.

Paige waited until she was past David's perch on the stairs and standing on the ground before she turned and asked David her question. For some reason, as beautiful as Maddy was, and as happy as Paige was to see Maddy like that, it also made Paige feel uneasy.

"Why is her body perfect like that? She's still warm. What the fuck is that about, David?"

"Hey, hey, hey." David raised his hands in defense. He twisted his mouth into a smirk. It looked forced, yet something about that made it even darker--scarier--as he stared back at Paige with hollow eyes. "Just a thank you gift from your buffalo pal. It couldn't bring her back, so I got as much as I could out of it."

Paige froze. Her blood ran cold. "David, you better not do anything... I mean. That's wrong."

David's face twisted in rage. He was in Paige's face in an instant. "How fucking dare you even suggest... I love her! How dare you even hint I'd do some twisted, sicko shit. Fuck you!"

She felt spittle hit her as he screamed in her face. She felt the rage rise up inside her, but her guilt came down like a hammer and crushed it. He was right. David had loved Maddy, and even if he hadn't, he wasn't that kind of person. He would never do something like that.

Paige lowered her gaze. She almost said she was sorry again but thought better of it. She decided it was best to just leave.

As she turned to go, David spoke again.

"You know, if you hadn't gone all pycho-bitch and lost it, it would be Levi dead instead of Maddy. And Joe would still be able to aim his piss and hold his pants up at the same time."

Paige halted for a second at his words. Then she began walking at a faster pace, afraid of what David would say next.

"Hell, if you wouldn't have lost your shit in that rage, maybe you'd have been able to get Levi out, too. Maybe neither of them had to die... Guess we'll never know." David's voice was filled with pain and spite.

Paige tried to shut his words out but realized that she'd stopped walking away.

"Well... heard Levi gave up every skill he had to save you. Can't imagine that kind of resentment will be good for your relationship." David laughed, but there was no humor in it. "Well, good luck to you two lovebirds. I hope you get all the happiness you both deserve."

---

Levi stared down at the book in front of him, A Brief Introduction to the Esoteric Realities of a Post-System World. He wondered if it would have made a difference with Maddy. The thought of giving the book to her had crossed his mind once, and then he'd forgotten all about it. He hated himself for that.

He couldn't help but break down every moment from the first time he'd met Maddy. From farther back than that, as far back as when he'd arrived at the safezone. Even farther, when he'd fucked up his interview and gotten his cursed Class. At what point could he have done something different, and changed the outcome? All of them? Any of them? None of them?

As he stared down, something white and wet hit him on his hand. Levi lifted it to his nose and sniffed. Bird shit?

That's when Levi noticed all the crows in the clearing. Their cawing was deafening. How had he not heard it before then?

Then his mind panicked as he thought of Paige. Was she in trouble? What other reason would get the crows trying so hard to his attention?

Levi jumped up, dropping the book to his feet. He had enough regrets. And Levi realized he'd just added one to the tally, as he remembered how he and Paige had parted. He wasn't going to add another one. Not if he could help it.

"Take me to her!" Levi yelled out to the crows.

The crows all took flight at once, scattering, and Levi couldn't follow the direction of any of them. For a second, he felt fear and frustration, but then he heard a caw. Turning, he saw a single crow.

The crow fluttered to a limb a little farther away. Levi followed. The crow moved again, faster, and Levi sped up to match its speed. Then the crow went farther, and Levi was sprinting to keep up. Fear gripped his heart as he ran through the woods, unable to use any boosting skills.

Paige needed him.

----

Paige stumbled through the woods, fidgeting with the small item in her hand. She could have easily made the way to her destination. Her senses were sharp enough to navigate the darkest night, and the sun hadn't even quite set. But her attention was elsewhere.

She finally found the location she was looking for.

She took a shuddering breath as she settled down on the dead log at the bank of the large pond. This was where Mama-cat had chosen to teach her. This was where Mama-cat had said goodbye. This is where she'd kissed Levi for the first time. It was a good place.

She lifted the plain item and looked at it under the moonlight.

"Guess this is when I need you the most, Mr. Stowe," Paige said as she stared at the dull gray coin Levi had passed on to her with their first meeting.

As the question of how she was supposed to even use the coin entered her mind, everything went black.