Rae returned to his rooms in a daze and took tea on his own that night. The maids saw his troubled expression and brought him a plate of sweet tarts.

He poured over his letters from Goari and Ven, the ones from Ven especially, and flipped through the tomes on his shelves. Some were his inheritance from his father: Meticulous diaries kept by previous Shaks, going back eight generations. They were meticulous, with records of foraging and hunting yields, trades and skirmishes with the peoples of the plains and the deserts.

There were stories of witches too. Real witches!

A younger Rae might have devoured those passages one after enough, filled with innocent and arrogant fervour. Now the word left a bad taste in his mouth.

Nana wasn’t a witch.

People said it was so, and Rae didn't blame them. It was the word of a child, versus a barely grown man’s baseless denials.

But she wasn’t. Because Rae’s mother chose Nana.

She might not have been able to foresee how terribly things would end, but she would never put her trust in a creature damned by heaven.

Eventually, Rae went to sleep. Dark craggy cliffs with Jagged rocks haunted his dreams and he startled awake a few times before dawn. That morning passed quietly, Laela must have been occupied, and the maid who delivered his food left him to his thoughts.

And Zott... Zott was who knows where...

The breakfast that morning was porridge with fresh summer fruits. Ray let it go cold as he wondered what to do about that Troublesome spy.

When he could lounge around no longer, he went to check on the preparations for the banquet.

All mountain camps had a meeting hall of some kind. A large, covered structure that could be open air in summer, and sealed tight and warmed by the hearth in winter.

The meeting hall at Camp Kaolin was built on stilts; a vast wooden deck overlooking the churning river, lined with green-glass lanterns, with a smouldering red pit at the centre. It was under this wide thatched roof, feeling the chill of night and the heat of the fire, surrounded by hundreds of his clansmen, where Rae had felt the least lonely. Not an outsider. Not a shakje. A Kaolin, down to his bones.

Elders patted Rae and Gaori on their heads as they passed, pressing sugared nuts and cups of warm milk into their hands. The flush of cool night illuminated their cheeks as they laughed together.

The Shak’s camp had an unrivalled meeting hall. The perimeter of a courtyard vast enough to house an army was lined with exotic plants. They were strange, aromatic herbs sourced from all over the mountains. And beyond.

There was a roof of scarlet tiles, with periodic gaps to allow the moonlight in. On the eastern side was a raised platform, with a fire pit in front of it. This is where the Shak would gather his people on auspicious days.

“Your majesty!” a chorus of voices rang out as Rae crossed the threshold.

“Greetings, everyone,” Rae smiled, “I’ve just come to check on the preparations, don’t mind me,”

They did mind him. They doted on him like the older sisters back at Camp Kaolin.

“Your majesty, do sit down. Is it comfortable?”

“Your majesty, are these tarts to your liking? Do try one!”

“Your Majesty, will the duke and duchess-“

The afternoon slipped away. A whole day of tasting, directing, approving, and gossiping.

“It’s wonderful! You’ve really outdone yourselves this time,” Rae said, after sampling the wine. The servants fawned and melted at his words.

“It’s been far too long since we had reason to celebrate. Of course, everyone is doing their best,” A round, portly man, one of the cooks, said.

“Did my late father not hold celebrations?” Rae asked and tried to ignore the tension his words sent through the crowd.

The cook answered carefully, “Not often, Your Majesty. It has been some years…”

“Ah,” Rae said, “I had assumed he must have, now I understand the excitement. Please make sure to enjoy yourselves,”

“It’s not just that! We’re all excited to host the Kaolins,” a maid exclaimed.

“Is that so? Why’s that?”

“Because ever since it was decided they would be coming, Your Majesty has seemed much more cheerful. So, of course, we want to meet them,”

Several others nodded their agreement.

Hearing this caused a queer kind of pain in Rae’s chest, tugging at the corners of his mouth.

“Well…” he struggled for a moment, “yes, I think it will be a wonderful day when they arrive. Thanks to all the work you’ve all done,”

He let everyone share their praises and jubilation until the group naturally dissolved. When things were quieter, he slipped way, agonising joy still gnawing at him.

----------------------------------------

He went to his mother’s grave, a place even more desolate and intimate now the Shana’s palace lay empty.

The wildflowers around the base had turned a crispy brown under the unrelenting sun, but a few crimson petals barely remained. Rae gazed at them thinking about how the place had looked all those years ago.

His mother had died in early spring, and he didn’t remember these scarlet blooms being here when he selected the spot. What a fitting coincidence, that they would choose here of all places to make their home.

“Mama, Uncle will be coming to see you soon. It’s been more than a decade. I’m sure you were worried about him,”

There was a rustle in the trees, and Rae paused to watch the birds.

“Even though you and Auntie never met, she’ll come to visit you too, I’m sure. She’s the one who took care of me when I left this place…”

He rambled on about Camp Kaolin, about his peaceful and carefree childhood in that place. About his cousin by blood and his dozens of brothers and sisters by association.

His mother was the Duke’s younger sister. When she was a child, she had bathed in the same river water, hid and played in the same glens, eaten from the same trees and bushes…

If I were in her shoes, I never would have left…

Rae had dodged all the disasters that his father’s death had wrought upon him. This palace didn’t seem as poisonous as it once did. But even so…

“Your Majesty!”

Rae was startled out of his pondering.

“What is wrong?”

“A message, Your Majesty. It’s best you come read it at once. People have been tearing the palace apart looking for you,”

Rae sighed, “Who from, Bejuk of Ashem?”

“Kaolin, sire,”

----------------------------------------

Rae was led back to the palace, which was filled with hushed voices and anxious looks. Rae didn’t spare any of them a glance.

He found the chief footman, tending to the eagle kept by his uncle.

“The letter?” Rae snapped, his heart in his throat.

The servant startled and handed the folded parchment to him.

Dear Rae,

Forgive the lack of messages as of late. There have been many calamities at the camp as of late. I’m afraid we won’t be able to join you for some time. Father and mother have both taken ill, as have many other elders within the camp. The symptoms aren’t severe, but it is unlike anything the healers have seen before, and terribly contagious. Until they have recovered, it is best we don’t travel.

That’s not all, the plains folk are acting strangely. More soldiers patrol the borderlands than I’ve ever seen before. They show no signs of aggression yet, but with the elders all unwell, I can’t leave the camp unguarded.

Sincerest apologies for telling you so late, the chaos seemed to descend on us overnight. But worry not, I will handle things here and we’ll all be together soon.

Yours,

Gaori Kaolin

There were eyes on Rae, boring into him. He crisply folded the parchment, furrowed his brows and addressed his gathered servants.

“The Kaolin have been delayed in their departure. The banquet will not be going ahead,”

He turned to leave. His words were meant to be final. Unfortunately, he was pursued.

“My Lord, all the preparations-“

“Divide the food amongst the servants. Give it to anyone who will take it. I don’t care,”

The childishness of those final words must have struck the footman speechless because he didn’t ask anything else.

Word passed through the palace faster than Rae could walk, and he found his chambers deserted of maids.

Good.

He could think things through. A moment to gather himself.

Gaori wasn’t coming. And suddenly the time was stretched, and distance too, an infinity. Two months since he had seen his cousin, his dearest friend. Three, since Ven had left. Time and time and time, spent surrounded by well-meaning strangers. By gentle sycophants.

And that was the best of it. There were also times when he was deeply, agonisingly alone.

This room, which he had conjured into a home… The wall hangings, the bed, the writing desk with the official seal. Rae remembered what they were. Harsh. Unreachable. Alien to him.

He thought of his little tree house, connected to Gaori’s, where he had spent his most carefree years. His aunt and uncle, the elders who doted on him.

The tears came in hideous, heaving floods. Rae cursed his aching chest, his throbbing temples. On the bed, curling in on himself, burrowed in ancient furs.

“What’s the matter with you?” A familiar voice said.

“Go away,” Rae tried to say, but it came out completely unintelligible.

Zott lurked, lingering on the threshold between the Shak’s chambers and the courtyard. Rae buried his face in his pillow. If he could get control over his tears, he could finally tell the beast to fuck off.

“I saw the servants in a commotion. So, I came to check on you,”

“……” Silence passed. Rae was starting to get his breathing under control.

“My family aren’t coming,” at last, Rae wheezed an explanation.

“Is that all?” Zott asked.

His voice was too close. Rae’s vision was blurred as he tried to knock Zott away, and his hands were caught.

“Let go!” Rae cried.

When Zott didn’t, Rae slammed against him, sending him toppling to the ground.

Aside from a single syllable of shock, Zott didn’t say another word. Rae’s were on his temples.

“Leave me alone. I’m just trying to calm down. I didn’t think… I’ve missed them so terribly…”

“You were looking forward to seeing them,” Zott said, still eyeing him carefully from the floor.

Rae had venom inside. It was on his tongue, ready to stab at Zott’s stupid comment. But at the last moment, Rae couldn’t strike.

“…Until I saw that letter, I hadn’t realised just how lonely I’ve been,”

Zott’s eyebrows were scrunched.

“But…” he gingerly stood up, “You won’t be lonely for much longer. They’ll still come…”

Rae breathed. The hair framing his face was damp.

“Yeah…”

“And… and my young master. He’ll write to you soon, no doubt,”

“Hmm…” Rae agreed.

“I suppose you’re right. And there are much worse things that happen in this world. I shouldn’t cry over something so little…”

Zott shrugged, “cry if you like, it’s your house,”

Rae smiled, even if it didn’t feel so.

“Sorry for pushing you,” He said, and Zott tilted his head on its side.

“Do you not remember the time I pushed you off a roof?”