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The Barbarian's Tale
The Palace Rankings: Explained By Laela Shakam

The Palace Rankings: Explained By Laela Shakam

This month saw an earth-shattering shift in the balance of power in the Shak’s Palace. The arrival of the new Shak (among other events) led to many in our number reconsidering their loyalties, and that is reflected in this month’s rankings.

Without further ado, let’s discuss the current winner!

#1 Rae je Kaolin (NEW)

Wow! ‘The palace ladies really love a man with a title’ is what I might have said if I hadn’t already made the new Shak’s acquaintance. He may not be my type, but there’s no denying he’s as cute as a button and as sincere as a man can be! It’s his first time in the palace since rankings began, and he’s already taken the top spot! As expected of the Shak.

#2 Sebi Bejuk (-1)

My baby! My sweet snow fox! My silver-haired angel! Don’t let the ranking drop get you down. I’ll never stop voting for you. In all seriousness, Sebi needs to show himself in public more. If he weren’t so shy that some of the more fickle palace ladies often forget about him, I swear he’d be #1 every month.

#3 Ven Ashem (-1)

Oh, how the mighty have fallen! Regular readers will know I’ve had my criticisms for everyone’s favourite Ashem young master, but even I can’t deny that the philanderer has a pretty face. Still, it seems like pure sex appeal isn’t enough to top the rankings anymore. If Ven wants to be #1 again, he better get to work on his personality.

#4 Kitchen Staff A (+4)

The way to a girl’s heart truly is through her stomach. A cute smile with dimples doesn’t hurt either! You’ve earned these votes, A. Keep up the good work!

#5 Mystery Man (New)

No confirmed name for this entry, but he has been spotted lurking around the Shana’s palace. Tall, dark, with an intense stare. He’s rumoured to be the same mysterious figure who topped the rankings two years ago when he was spotted at the eldest Shali’s tenth birthday party… Just who is this mysterious gentleman?

#6 Gaori Kaolin (NEW)

Huh, there’s no accounting for taste is there? He’s fine looking and has a decent body but of all the new arrivals, he’s lacking punch. Perhaps the palace ladies appreciate a bit of “camp Kaolin charm”?

#7 Page B (+2)

Isn’t he a little young for this ranking? And yet his votes keep going up and up… A cute face really goes a long way. Perhaps we’ve got a future star on our hands?

#8 Duke Ashem (-2)

It seems that there’s still a vocal minority of palace ladies with masochistic tendencies… Ladies, you know I would never kink-shame, but please… You can do better.

#9 Footman C (-4)

Oof, the scandal last month has really hit him hard. I wonder if he can come back from this?

#10 Duke Bejuk (-)

Ah, so Duke Bejuk’s sole fan is still going strong? As is the theory that the Duke himself reads this newsletter and participates in the monthly voting… Better luck next month, Your Excellency!

With that, voting for next month’s champion begins! Please deliver your votes to room 104 in the maid’s dormitory. Be sure to choose carefully.