Rae turned the key over in his hands. He was completely at a loss.

However, he had a sinking feeling that he knew where he might find the lost shali…

He passed a few servants on his walk, but if any thought his appearance strange, they didn’t say so, their faces ashen as they searched ditches and river banks.

Rae was sure his own face must look like a hollow corpse as he pushed thoughts of his father out of his mind, and strode back into the woods. Seasons had changed the scenery but his body still remembered his route. The sheer cliffs that took all his strength to scale back then, he could now tackle in a few strides. He reached a point where the trees grew as densely as prison bars.

He trod over hundreds of briar thorns and wondered if the one stained with his blood might still be waiting among them. It was here, that he noticed the mud and undergrowth here had been recently disturbed, and quickened his pace.

That scent of damp earth…

Rae slapped the side of his head to ground himself. He was here to find the shali, not feel sorry for himself.

He was so caught up in his thoughts, that he almost rolled his ankle on a protruding root. He was clinging to a tree branch to steady himself when a small cry rang out in front of him.

He looked up to see a tiny figure dash behind a tree, dark eyes watching him.

“Miss Komao?” he asked, and her eyes widened but she didn’t speak.

“Everyone is turning the palace upside down looking for you. Did you get lost?”

Like Rae had once done, she had wandered here without shoes, nor a cloak. But, looking her up and down, Rae thought she seemed to be in quite good shape. Her bare arms and feet were unmarred. She was even smaller than Rae had been, was even a little girl tougher than he was back then?

“You’re… his… his… his mad- his maj-“

“I’m Rae. Just Rae is fine,” he said and wondered how much she had been told about him, “Why did you come all the way out here?”

Rae held out his hand, and Komao eyed it before taking a step forward.

“There was-!” Komao’s words were cut off when a arm reached from behind the tree and snatched her back. Rae burst through the undergrowth after them.

“Who’s there?!”

Blinded by the angle of the sun at first Rae could only hear a familiar voice.

“My child, go back to the palace,”

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“Nana? What are you doing here?” the words came out, irrespective of how his blood was frozen, and his skin was on fire.

“I said, go back to the palace,” Nana said, her voice cool. If Rae’s appearance rattled her, she didn’t show it.

She had picked Komao up and held the struggling child under an arm.

“Did you bring her here?” Rae didn’t know how he got the word out, his throat was so dry and tight. It was like he’d been poisoned again.

Nana sighed, “I did. But that has nothing to do with you,”

“What exactly were you thinking? Everyone’s been losing their minds looking for her,”

He tried to close the distance between them but stopped when Nana’s gaze changed from icy to volcanic, all her muscles tensed, and the girl in her arms let out a frightened shriek.

“Nana, were you the one who wrote to the Shana? Did you use my official seal?”

When Rae asked this and saw the look on her face, the last spark of hope in his heart died.

“You did, didn’t you?”

Nana’s expression softened, “I never meant for you to be troubled. Everything I do, I do for you,”

Rae wouldn’t allow his heart to be moved.

“If that’s true… no, it’s a ridiculous notion.

“You not only wasted my time by forging that letter… You raised my hopes about a reconciliation… and you did it all to distract the Shana and make it easier for you to snatch one of her children away, right? What good does that do me?

“If you truly wish to end my troubles, come back to the palace with me, right now,”

“Surely you realise I can’t do that. When all I’ve done comes to light…”

“So you were behind everything? You poisoned Miss Jiwat… No, that’s not it… the poison was meant for the Shana’s unborn baby…”

“My lord is so kindhearted, to worry for such a wretch,” Nana smiled at him. “Surely you’ve realised I did you harm, too?”

Rae nodded—the poisoned box of sweets. Of course, Nana knew I could never resist… But why?

“I never meant to harm you, but the Dukes would naturally suspect you in an attack on the Shana…” she said, “if you were taken ill under similar circumstances, they wouldn’t burden you with accusations,”

Rae still had many questions, but only one mattered right now.

“What do you plan to do with Miss Komao?”

Rae’s gaze fell on the rocks behind the Shana. Just a few feet back, Rae knew they gave way to a deadly precipice- and he knew how deep his Nana’s hatred ran.

“I would kill each and every one of them if I had the chance, but I never imagined you would be the witness…”

Rae was trembling. He noticed it when he reached for the short sword at his waist.

He helplessly watched as she moved closer to the edge. Rae couldn’t see the bottom from where he was standing, but he didn’t need to. If someone were to fall from that height, they would surely perish.

“Nana, please just put the child down. I don’t want to witness anything,”

Komao, trapped in the vice of Nana’s grip, had been mostly silent throughout this exchange. She kicked and squirmed as much as she could manage, and peered up at Rae wordlessly.

At this point, she said the words, “want to go home… want mama…”

Nana stiffened, and Rae tried to placate her.

“Come back with me. I’ll settle things. I’ll defend you. I’ll take on some of the blame. I haven’t forgotten all you’ve done for me-”

“-No, no no! It’s the Ashem’s fault! They should be the ones paying!-”

“-You won’t be able to stay in the Shak’s camp after this, but I’ll write to my aunt and uncle and they’ll give you a place in Camp Kaolin,”

Nana’s shoulders slumped, and Rae felt a surge of hope. Had he gotten through to her?

“You don’t understand… You’re too soft, far too soft and gentle. Have you really forgiven those beasts?” She looked at Rae with tears in her eyes, “I can’t. I won’t allow them to get away with it. If I do… then there’s been no point to any of it. I should have died that day, I should have left this world with her!”

“Nana, that’s not true. If you weren’t there, what would’ve become of me?”

At that moment, little Komao took advantage of a minute slackening in Nana’s grip. Craning her neck at an awkward angle, she took a fierce bite out of Nana’s forearm.

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Nana made a guttural sound and dropped Komao on the ground. The sound of soft, child bones hitting rock made Rae’s heart stutter. But the shali immediately scrambled to her feet.

Within seconds, she was clinging to Rae’s leg.

“Let’s run! Let’s run! She’s a witch!”

At that moment, Rae thought Nana truly did look like a witch. Face contorted in pain and rage, slate-grey hair bedraggled and damp. Her eyes gleamed with otherworldly, unholy light.

She lunged forward, as if she was going to pounce on the child, but stopped when she saw Rae’s eyes.

“We’re going back,” he said. He took the child’s hand, still terrified she would somehow go plummeting over the edge.

“If you join us, I will keep my promises, but I can’t allow you to remain in my camp. You can run. If you leave now, I doubt my men will be able to find you in this forest,”

“I can’t go back,”

“Then this is farewell,”

Rae’s heart was threatening to burst. The tiny child resting her head against his knee, slightly shivering, kept him from breaking down. He took a few steps back, eyes never leaving Nana. When his boots hit briar thorns, he picked the girl up.

Nana watched them, not making a move to follow. There was tension marring her features, sinking her cheeks, as if she was forcing her expression to be as flat as possible. Rae suddenly remembered how it was thirteen years ago and tears pricked in his eyes.

His vision blurred before he remembered the danger, and blinked the tears away.

“I’m sorry,”

Nana was the one who said it. Their eyes met and she was crying too. She was crying much more than Rae was, a face more wretched than he had ever seen before.

A plea was forming on Rae’s tongue when Nana turned away from him.

“I’m sorry,” she said again, her chest heaving, “I won’t go back to that place. I won’t let them them sneer at me, won’t let them blame you…”

The girl in his arms tugged on his hair, “Let’s run,”

Rae couldn’t move. The animal part of his mind was screaming: something terrible is going to happen. It wasn’t just that his body was locked in place. His mind, too, was repeating that thought on a loop. His throat was blocked, but he didn’t need to breathe.

His eyes followed Nana, as she swayed once, as if caught by a strong wind. Then, she vanished from sight.

Rae’s throat was raw as if he’d been screaming. There was a painful sensation in his stomach, coming in waves.

After a few moments, he heard Komao’s voice. He had been holding her to his chest with a grip tight enough to constrict blood flow. She was kicking him in the stomach.

Rae relaxed his grip, and Komao stopped, “What happened?”

Rae didn’t say anything. He was torn between going to the edge to see what had become of Nana. Or running home as fast as his legs would carry him.

Rae wished it was out of concern for the child that he left without looking, but for decades following, he would know it was to protect his feeble heart.