A gentle caress, an infinitesimal touch of love. When nothingness was the norm, the absolute minimum wasn’t any different from the true maximum. One single touch is all that mattered.

A rusty grunt, displacing the ever-present agony. When incommodity overcame eternal suffering. The minor setback eclipsed the final frontier. Comforting.

An airless breeze, ignoring all that was wrong in the world. A being skipping the pain, self-centered in boredom. It calls. It beckons. It ends.

Black.

Blue.

Gray.

White.

Violet?

The tolls dissipated the deep slumber. Clinging of metal, bells.

“Sonnez les matines…” It chanted.

“What?” Marissa said, the surroundings regaining color once again. The cave and the sludge receded. “What did you say?”

She observed me with expectation. “Nothing.” I dismissed it with a sigh.

My whole being felt heavy. This was by far the worst attack I had ever suffered. It was as if I went back to the river, touching it with my hands, intoxicated by the undiluted essence of death.

“You clearly were saying something, don’t lie!” Marissa shouted at me, her face close to mine. She quickly moved her head away. “What did you say?” She reiterated.

“Nothing…” I said as it was true, I hadn’t said anything. Then it struck as lie, those words weren’t told to me, but by myself, I had just forgotten. “I just said that I like the sound of the bells.” I wasn’t sure if it was right, but something told me it wasn’t wrong either.

Everything was so… convoluted.

“Oh, okay.” She sounded disappointed. “I don’t like it, too noisy.”

“Too noisy? You?” I jabbed at her metaphysically, and she jabbed me physically.

‘Sonnez les matines’, huh. What did it mean? Impossibly close, yet unfathomably far. I felt a sting of pain. This wasn’t just the river calling back to me, it was something more.

“Are you alright?” Marissa asked me, now keeping the distance.

“Yes… I think so.” I felt sluggish, as if I was swimming in the sludge where the rest of the souls drowned and chanted in agony.

Marissa jumped. “You are bleeding!” She pointed at my nose.

I touched the region below my nose to find a strip of magenta blood flowing down. Huh, so that’s how ellari blood looks. I hadn’t yet had the chance to see with my eyes.

Really? You feel your body heavy, at the edge of collapse, and your nose is bleeding, and you are worried about the color of the blood?

Yes, I was a moron. Nothing new.

“I should go to the infirmary.” I spoke. “There’s one, right?”

“I don’t know.” Marissa responded. “We should ask the teacher.”

My legs faltered, I found myself incapable of walking. Marissa noticed this and went to Miss Salore for help. While I saw their lips moving, I was unable to hear them. Augh. Pain struck once more. My vision wavered, a river.

I didn’t notice when, but Marissa was by my side, time elapsed. My arm was on her shoulders, I used her to support myself. The march was slow. Why didn’t another teacher help us? Maybe it only seemed like a nosebleed from the outside.

Walking was no longer an option, I limped while transferring all my weight to Marissa, herself leaning a bit on the corridor walls. I’ve never ever felt so bad. Not even the underworld brought me so much pain and weakness.

A blink, the corridor. A blink, the door to the infirmary. My consciousness came and went for the last time.

***

The little girl carried her friend, drops of blood skittered around his face. His head was down, his eyes closed, but he breathed, the stomach going up and down.

While she was worried, there was nothing she could do for him other than to bring him to the infirmary. She knocked on the white door four times in a rush. Before the fifth, a lady opened the door.

“Are you al-“ She looked down on the boy. “Obviously, not. Please, enter.”

The mistress helped the girl carry her friend across the room to the first empty bed. The place was deserted except for the trio.

“What happened?” She asked to the girl with light blue hair, as she put her hand on the boy’s forehead, white light coming from her delicate hands.

“We were in the playground when he suddenly started bleeding.” The girl explained.

“Suddenly?” The nurse expressed her doubt. “He wasn’t in a fight or fell headfirst to the ground?”

“No!” She vigorously shakes her head. “We were talking about the bells or something and his nose started bleeding!”

The girl was clearly affected by the event, and the mistress noticed it.

“I see.” She removed her hand away from the boy. “Don’t worry, he’s in good hands. Go back to the playground. If he isn’t back to your classroom when school time is over, come back here.”

“But…” She didn’t want to leave his side.

Stolen content warning: this tale belongs on Royal Road. Report any occurrences elsewhere.

“No buts.” The nurse said with a friendly smile. “Go back with your class. I’ll take care of him.”

Reluctantly, the girl accepted and left the room. She took one last look at the boy, the nurse still smiled at her.

“Hmm.” The nurse grunted once the girl left. “There’s clearly a hemorrhage here, yet I don’t detect any busted veins or capillary leaks. How strange.”

***

A soothing white touch. How could a touch be white? This was a new level of synesthesia, even greater than sniffing colors or tasting feelings. The sensation wasn’t far off from that of the caress of the Lady of the River, yet incomparable at the same time.

Whilst my body was heavy, I no longer felt sluggish. I was so relaxed as if every single limb was asleep, akin to sleep paralysis.

“You are finally awake, huh.” A purple lady told. She wore a white vest, a simple leather cap, and a French braid. That phrase was awfully familiar. A ping of pain attacked me once more.

“Relax.” The nurse told me as she put her hand on my forehead. It glowed white; she was casting what looked like a healing spell. Or at least one with soothing properties. “Your friend brought you here, your nose was bleeding. Do you know why?”

I lightly swayed my head. I felt too weak to talk, my mouth drier than a desert.

“Okay.” She moved her hands away. “Whatever was the cause, you are alright now.”

I had a hunch I wasn’t really in the clear. But I couldn’t do more than a professional. And I doubted she could solve problems which were literally beyond this world.

“What’s your name, boy?” She asked with a paper and pen in her hands.

“Edrie Nightfallen, miss…?”

“Decourse. Alatea Decourse.” She responded with a giggle.

She was beautiful. I found myself captivated by the lady, even when we were decades apart, and I was still a child. A simple giggle healed part of my ailments, more than her magical prowess did.

“You can leave, Master Nightfallen.” Alatea spoke. “If you feel the need to rest, you can stay though.”

I wanted to stay for the wrong reasons. Silky silver hair, delicate hands, long fingers. Round face, perfect facial expressions, smooth skin. I skipped a heartbeat.

This was wrong on a lot of levels. I sat on the bed.

“I.. I think I should leave.” I said without looking her. I felt that if I did it, I would be lost in her emerald eyes.

“Perfect.” She responded. “You can come here if you feel sick again.”

“I will.” Those words transmitted a lot of hidden meanings.

I left the infirmary in search of my classroom.

***

I had already proved myself as a moron a myriad of times, yet it wasn’t going to end anytime soon. I was lost in the school’s corridors. In my defense, I literally had no idea how I came here in the first place.

My only reference points were the pavilion where the inauguration took place, and the playground. I thought that it would be easy to arrive at my classroom as the playground worked as the main hub, but it took more than I wanted to accept to find it.

It was acceptable, I think. First time here, nothing to be embarrassed about. I was left out in a labyrinth with no map, and a mild concussion. Sort of.

The sun in the sky was placed in the east, instead of the west, where it was in the morning. The sun came from the west to east? I mean, yes? It was always like that. How can I even doubt it? This only meant that it was past high noon. I had been unconscious for a few hours.

I supported my head with my right hand as I stride to the classroom, still sensing the vestiges of my headache.

Lapses of imagery flashed before my eyes.

“The River, huh.” I followed the serpentine tiling which was akin to the slow stream of the overloaded River of the Damned. An incredibly dense sludge, filled to the brim with souls, yet it managed to flow, never stagnant, never silent.

I meditated while moving, regenerating my already full mana pool. A useless endeavor, but I found it quite relaxing. I didn’t let my pace waver.

By the time I substituted a tenth of my mana pool with fresher one, I arrived at my classroom. I knocked three times, and a student came to open the door. Miss Salore looked at me as I interrupted her lecture (which looked rather dull and simple by the looks of the chalkboard and the students faces).

“It’s good to see that you are fine, Master Nightfallen. I wouldn’t like to have a sick student on the first day.” The last part was said with no regard for my wellbeing, but more for her reputation.

How could there be so much disparity in this school? Nurse Decourse was a saint, an angel descended from the heavens. Teacher Salore, on the other hand, was a bitch.

Huh. This is the first time I cursed in this life. I hate this woman so much that it provoked me to curse even if it was just to myself. Better keep myself controlled, once you start, there’s no going back.

“Thank you for your consideration, Miss Salore.” I responded sarcastically and sat next to Marissa.

“Are you okay?” Marissa whispered to me once the teacher restarted the class and had her gaze removed from me. “You were gone for hours…”

I was hurt by the Marissa’s sadness. She had suffered because of me. I am pathetic for making a child undergo such pain, no matter how small or transient it may be.

“I’m alright.” I gave her a feeble smile.

Maybe the right thing to do was to comfort her with a grand warm smile, but I didn’t feel like lying to her. The previous frigid winds of the river, which carried no harm to my soul self, now chilled my bones. I wasn’t well, yet I couldn’t just tell her of my ailment or straight up lie to her.

I grab her hands under the table, intertwining my fingers with her. “Don’t worry.” I whispered to sooth her.

“…Okay.” Marissa gave a weak response. It hurt a bit seeing such an energetic childlike Marissa being a downer.

To my surprise, the class ended after a few minutes. It seems I had been sleeping through the rest of the classes in the end. I wasn’t too affected by this as the teachings were needlessly basic.

Marissa and I walked to my home, only making a detour to the park. She sat on one of the stone benches at the cobblestone trail. Marissa patted the place next to her, inviting me. I complied.

“Are you truly okay?” She asked once more. This time, however, she looked directly at my eyes.

“I am.” While I kept lying, I didn’t sense the touch of the river so closely as before. Was it because of the location, or just a coincidence? This wasn’t the first time it happened. Only the worst one. I was sure it would recede given enough time.

I just hoped I didn’t need to wait much.

“You are lying.” Marissa almost bursted into tears, the sunlight reflected in the corner of her eyes, but held herself. She was strong. The only time I saw her cry was when she was only a baby.

“Maybe I am.” I somewhat conceded. “But it’s only a nosebleed. Don’t worry.” Those were my real feelings. An accidental nosebleed origintaing from a headache. “And I have been healed. Nurse Decourse made sure of it.”

“Mmm.” Marissa grunted in suspicion but ended up relaxing.

“Come on, let’s go home.” I told her as I got up from the overly decorated stone slab of a bench.

I was unable to walk away as something pulled my shirt. It was Marissa. “If you are alright, then hold my hand on the way home.” She spoke, her gaze evading me, instead looking at the ground. “I have to watch over you if you fall again.” Marissa explained.

“Alright.” She got up and I held her little left hand.

We were eleven and twelve, yet our hands were nothing more than meatballs with short sticks attached to it. Meatballs sounded rather weird for the low amount of meat ellari consumed. Would cheeseballs be more accurate? Ellari were crazy over milk, and what was cheese but denser milk.

So I was there with Marissa, taking a stroll across the pastel-palette park. Her humor became better since we held hands, from slow pace to joyful strides. If it wasn’t because I forced myself to run every day at the park, I would have been left breathless.

Ignoring the magical nature of the park, it evoked a mystical feeling. Fantastical would be more accurate, mayhap. The trees that weren’t perennial let their leaves fall slowly, being dragged by the soothing breeze.

One of the uncountable leaves landed on top of Marissa’s light blue hair. With my free hand I approached her and removed the pink leaf.

“What are-?” I showed her the flying intruder. “Oh.”

“Are you feeling well?” I asked using her own words against her, her face turning violet from her blue skin tone.

“Yes, I am!” Marissa shouted out of nowhere. “Let’s go home!”

It looked like she really wanted to go there as she accelerated her pace. I almost tripped but I was quick enough on my feet to not fall to the ground. Even if that happened, I had the perfect spell for such occasions.

As I was constantly kept behind the speeding Marissa, I noticed the twitch of her ears. Huh, I thought only adult ellari could move their ears.