Season of Bloom, if it matters. Time seemed to be more meaningless to me now than when I was literally floating still in a river of sludge. I was born this season, the exact day was unbenknowst to me, though.
About one hundred days (or a full season) had passed since my little showoff with Marissa. She kept coming to show me more of her magic, every time asking me to answer in kind.
I didn’t comply to her demands obviously. I even became stressed about the fact that my mana pool had yet to be completely formed. A child shouldn’t become stressed!
Too many years without seeing any progress. I was exaggerating, there was obviously progress, but I didn’t feel it. So, it didn’t look like anything had changed.
Marissa may have done her performances in good will, but I was more and more sunken when I was unable to compete with her. I knew this was a matter of time, and I would achieve it in the end. Those thoughts didn’t make my depression go away.
So much time being a child that I started acting like one, huh. Pitiful. Sometimes my mind would wander around, lost in mindless thoughts, just like what someone of my age would do. Yet, that scarred me greatly. What if my personality erodes as I stay like a child?
That wasn’t a comfortable insight.
So, the only remedy I had was to act like an adult from time to time, not crossing the line so my parents would suspect me, but not enough so my personality would meander around.
The River of the Dammed showed before my eyes, once in a while, as if I hadn’t yet escaped from it. In those times I distracted myself with even more practice.
I compensated my magical deficiency with a solid grasp of language and common knowledge. Sure, the compendium was unnecessarily detailed, but it was an easy way to learn vocabulary and syntax. I devoured books for people of my age so fast that right now I didn’t need a good read, but one which would last long.
I would never look at the next page of the compendium if I didn’t fully understand every word and meaning that I was presented. This provoked that my reading speed was around one or two pages a day. I had plans to re-read the book once I had finished, to see if I had truly understood it, or if I was a fool pretending I did. I may not be able to grow my mana pool, but my mental properties were in my full control.
“Look, look!” Marissa grabbed my attention, and I rose my sight from the book. “It’s more powerful!”
“Certainly.” I blatantly told.
Because of constant practice and the wish to perseve in front of her friend, Marissa’s spellcasting upgraded bit by bit. The feeble air ball had more consistency and force, enough so that a fly passing by would be launched at high speed if it entered insude. Hmm… fly-railgun… such an interesting prospect. Also a ginormous headache.
Argh, I wish I could control my recalled knowledge attacks.
“Now you can use it as a drier.” I said trying to be funny, as to hide my pain.
“Really?” Marissa genuinely believed it. I think I should correct that.
“No, don’t do it please.” I corrected. “You would make a mess with your hair.” Or worse, most likely.
“Oh.” She was saddened by the realization.
I was one hundred percent sure she was going to try anyways. Damn. She would try it, definitely sure. My words were but mere suggestions to a child.
At the sweet ellari age of seven years, Marissa began developing a long light blue hair. Which was weird because she had originally white one. Sky blue eyes, blue-colored skin, and icy blue hair. It was a unique and monochromatic palette, truth be told. Her hair wasn’t as blue as her eyes though, it was a faint touch, more like a white hair which has been colored with diluted dye.
Meanwhile I had lavender eyes, violet skin, and pearly white hair like my mother. Curiously I didn’t inherit any trait from my father. Genetics were strange.
If you were asking how do I know my eye color, it was because mirrors were a fact in Ferilyn. Silver mirrors if I was correct. Which was unexpected as ellari have a rather developed crystal-working culture.
There was a brief line, unrelated to the subject, in the compendium that talked how affinities affected eye color. This would explain my lavender eyes, but not Marissa’s. You could argue her icy blue was her wind affinity plus a natural blue color. And maybe you were right.
I knew nothing about ellari genetics. Or, like, genetics in general.
According to father, affinity was made by a combination of genetics, magical prowess, and the soul. So, it would make some sense genes were also influenced by magical nature or the soul.
Albeit, theories once more.
Whilst Marissa used her mana pool to practice her spell mastery, I was focused on making mine. Marissa would stay with me for a few hours every day, not only because I was her only friend (same), but because her parents had to work. Father also worked, but mother didn’t look like it. And it was a bit rude to ask.
Marissa would normally be brought by her mother at the mornings, but sometimes she came all by herself. Their home wasn’t far away, maybe a block or two, or a five-minute walk. Maybe less as I was measuring it at my abysmal walking speed.
Anyways, I wouldn’t trust a seven-year-old child to make it to someone else’s house, but maybe that wasn’t out of place for ellari.
She exuded mana, I inhaled mana.
A process that became a daily routine. I wasn’t slacking off in my spellcasting though. Inverse to the sorcery casting, which was of pure practical nature. Spellcasting had components both in theory and practice. Someone had to do the calculus.
And that reinforced my curiosity. Why did Marissa choose a method of conjuration that was difficult even for me, when she could’ve gone the easy way? It didn’t make sense pondering over the unknown, so I asked her once I stopped my hourly meditation session.
“Marissa.” I called for her attention. Right now, she was resting, recharging her mana pool as she laid on one of the garden chairs, her naked feet resting on top of the table. “Why did you choose spellcasting? It would’ve been easier to go with common casting for sure.”
“I know.” She said sounding less childly than normal. “But if I defeated you with the common casting, I wouldn’t better than you!”
Ah yes. That was more like Marissa. I couldn’t avoid smirking at that. She definitely inherited this trait from her mother. Now that I think about it, I still haven’t seen her father, have I?
“Hey!” Marissa cried. “Why are you laughing?”
“Nothing, nothing.” I dismissed it and changed the topic. “Are you ready to spellcast again?”
The girl didn’t even affirm it, she just went hands on to work. I may have lust for knowledge, but she was hungering for power. Hungering? Starving? Did it make a difference?
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Grammar and I were at a constant struggle, especially when taken into account that I still didn’t know which language my thoughts and inner self used.
Looking at Marissa making such an effort motivated me to continue in my magical journey. It also distracted me from the remaining cooldown of my meditation. Currently, my sal men’ora meditation clocked at the ten-minute mark per hour.
Her firsts spellcastings were a grueling task for her, wasting a lot of mana and concentration. Now, she had gotten the hang of it. It wasn’t perfect, but at least she wasn’t torturing herself with every conjuration. I could adjudicate for her that it was an arduous process.
After a few dozen air balls, we followed with a short rest as my mother prepared us some orange juice. It was enough time for the meditation cooldown to refresh.
I closed my eyes and started meditating once more. Slow inhalations, slow exhalations, both in mana and air. I could feel Marissa and mom’s gaze, yet they remained silent. I didn’t lose my concentration, I kept pushing.
More and more mana gathered around me, the small crystals laid around my body interconnected in a web of energy as mana flowed along my circulatory system. At this moment, more mana entered me than it left. Creeping to maximum capacity. The surface tension of a glass reaching critical levels.
I could feel it. I was there. Just… a bit… more!
A flash of energy enveloped my body. Blue, pink, white, purple, violet. All the common colors which represented mana. My eyes burned as mana gathered around me.
I was tired, sweat covering my skin. Yet, I was more energized than ever before. This mana was far more powerful than any kind I had sensed before. Was this the power of superb affinity mana?
“My sal men’ora is complete.” I told them with difficulty.
Marissa and mother cried in euphoria, while I chuckled to myself. My hands were shaking and numb simultaneously, my head spun around, my lungs felt heavy as if I was drowning, and finally, my vision turned black. That’s when I noticed.
I had overexerted myself too much.
*
Father didn’t like it. Oh boy, he did not. You wouldn’t like coming home after a long day of work to find that your child collapsed because he was a moron. There was not another way to put it, I had been too greedy for my own sake.
“Are you alright?” He asked me once I awakened.
While his expression was firm, marks of anger showed here and there, his voice was comforting.
“Yes…” My whole being felt heavy. I had never experienced such dissonance since my time in the river. “Just dizzy.” I oversimplified the problem.
“Why did you do it?” Father asked, his tone low, he silently examined with his penetrating gaze.
“I… I knew I had it.” I explained. “I sensed that I was near-complete. I had to push myself.”
“You didn’t need to.” He sighed as though he had expected this outcome. “You could have easily waited a few more days.”
“I couldn’t.” My milk teeth gritted. “I was tired of being unable to conjure magic.”
“I see.” Father closed his eyes and pondered for a second. “Today it was harmless. Tomorrow may not be that way. Promise me you will keep your mind cool, and never repeat this mistake. Again.” Ah, right, I had done this before in the past. I already forgot.
“I will.” I couldn’t deny father was speaking the truth. He was only doing so so I wouldn’t hurt myself.
“For now, rest.” He got up. “Tomorrow we will practice spellcasting.”
“Really?” I impersonated Marissa for a moment, unconsciously. A flash of childish behavior which I despised and feared.
Father simply nodded and left my room. Leaving me in my cushion-bed, moonlight coming through the familiar round window. My eyelids were as heavy as my whole body, my consciousness wandering. I went to sleep again.
*
Tel’am was surprised when little Marissa, Edrie’s only friend, came to his workshop. He was ready to salute her when he noticed the pain and fear in her face.
“Edrie collapsed!” Marissa shouted, and panted, recovering her breath after a long sprint.
Tel’am alarms went off. “What happened?” Concern on his voice.
“I was practicing spellcasting, and Edrie meditated, then he said that he had done it and collapsed!” Tel’am was dumbfounded. But he was indecisive in what was more surprising. The fact the little girl spoke so fast and coherently or that his son was dumb as a rock.
Sure, collapsing was a matter of worry. But collapsing from mana pool origination? Not so much. Mages tended to collapse for anything related to their mana pool, most commonly from mana depletion. Whilst incredibly dangerous, it wasn’t an unfamiliar subject to him.
Tel’am didn’t expect his son, intelligent as he proved, to do something so foolish, though.
“Alright, let me close the shop and I will go with you.” He told Marissa.
It wasn’t a true emergency but closing early one day wouldn’t do any harm. Especially with the fidgety girl before him. Tel’am considered the girl was at more risk than his own son in her unstable state. Foolishness breeds foolishness. Who knows what the child would do if he didn’t go with her?
Tel’am spent the way home calming the little girl. Edrie was a calmed and composed child and controlling such a hyperactive child actually struck him outside his field of knowledge. Yet, he was still a father and the situation practically defused by its presence alone.
He entered home to find it in complete silence. They are probably in Edrie’s room, he thought. So, alongside Marissa, they went upstairs.
There Liliana sat in a chair, watching at a sleeping Edrie. The boy was pale, not incredibly so. A bit of sweat, but no nightmares or movements in his sleep. He was dreaming peacefully. His experience with mana pool complications told him his child hadn’t suffered considerable damage by this remark alone.
“Edrie’s alright.” Tel’am told after a quick check. He wasn’t a specialist, Novela would have done a better job, but his son had managed to keep the strain on his body to a minimum. If it was a conscious decision or not, that he did not know.
“Are you sure?” A worried Liliana asked.
“Hundred-percent, Lilin.” He put his hands on her shoulders. “He’s experiencing mana overload for the first time. While constant overload can be toxic to the body, it’s just his first time.” Tel’am explained from first-hand experience. “Mana overload is less dangerous than depletion normally, either way.”
“If you say so.” In the end, Liliana was alien to magical theory. She could cast some spells, but it was instinctual rather than acquired knowledge.
“You can go home now, Marissa.” Tel’am directed to her.
“But…” He could understand the little girl’s feelings, but she should go home with her parents now when the sun began to set.
“He will be good by tomorrow. So, visit him then.” Tel’am told with a relaxed and soothing expression as he patted the child’s head.
“Okay.” Marissa expressed half-beaten.
Now that the girl left the house, Tel’am referred to his wife. “Lilin, rest. I will stay by Edrie.”
Without a reply or excuse, Liliana left the room, clearly tired.
Hours later, Edrie awakened. Both of them were tired. Tel’am wanted to be authoritative, to display respect before him. But he knew he didn’t need to. Edrie was intelligent enough to not repeat it, but foremost, he had also done the same when he was younger. Incapable of punishing his son for errors himself had committed before.
*
“Now that your mana pool is completely formed, spellcasting alone doesn’t make the cut anymore.” Father told me the next day. We were in his office, ready for the lecture on magic.
“How’s that? You told me I should focus on spellcasting.” I replied.
“You said it yourself. Focus.” Ah, I understood where he was going. “While wizardry should be your main focus, sorcery can help you practice. Spellcasting formulae is too cumbersome for a child, you will get practice for sure, but there’s a reason why every ellari begins with common casting.” Father once more put on his lecturer’s façade. “You just practiced with easy spells, which don’t really need true calculations to pull off, but mere approximations. Something a child could perform with relative ease without understanding how he had done it.”
It was easy to show him otherwise. I had capabilities far superior to any other person of my age. I was convinced I could take on the challenge, but I was also too interested in casting to just refuse the lesson.
“Shouldn’t you have told this to Marissa?” I recalled she only used spellcasting.
“A misstep by my part.” Father explained. “I expected you to complete sal men’ora before, but superb affinity is nothing to scoff at. Nonetheless, I’m sure Marissa has her reasons to opt for such a method.”
Father opened a book, a grimoire of some sort. It contained brief descriptions of spells, drawn with some archaic symbols.
“This is a children’s spellbook. Mainly for practice.” He added. “You and Marissa will drain your mana pools daily practicing these spells using nothing but casting. It will be inefficient, it will be slow, but it will help you in the long run, both in your mana pools and muscle memory. We need to make your casting and spellcasting an instinctual feeling, and practicing casting is the way to go when we go to more advanced spellcasting.”
I took another look to the spellbook. While short, it was densely packed with information and imagery. I noticed an entry on Mage Light at the beginning. It was really the beginner’s spell, huh.
“It contains various spells for a lot of different elements, it doesn’t matter if you have affinity or no, you will cast every single one.” He lectured me. “Actually, the less affinity you have with the spell, the better will be the learning experience once you manage to cast them all.”
Wizardry was intuitive, you complete an equation, you produce magic. Sorcery was the complete opposite. It took a lot of time to succeed with the first casting, as if you were building it. But once you achieved it, you could cast it in a greatly reduced time. Pretty much like teaching your hand to remember your signature, repeating it ad infinitum until you could do it with your eyes closed.
The only defect that sorcery had was that the activity itself was mana straining. Inverse to the efficient wizard spellcasting.
So, people with low mana pools were somewhat forced to spellcasting. If that wasn’t the case, everyone would be a sorcerer for sure, as it proved infinitely easier and more a matter of trial and error rather than effort.
I took on the task to cast every spell in the little grimoire.